Kam Ambergree vs The Mad Maple

Standard Match

F: A sure grade A match up now for your delight. Arguably the craziest man in the UCW, Kam Ambergree, faces off against arguably the craziest man in Canada-

C: What are talking about? Their all crazy up there!

F: Any Canadians who wish to debate that with Mr Creed can find him at 12 Orchard Road-

C: Don’t tell them they’ll invade! Didn’t you see the South Park movie?

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall. Making his way to the ring first, from Canada, weighting in at 245 pounds, the Mad Maple!

F: A popular name with the fans by the sound of it.

[Maple comes out of the back and climbs into the ring to the cheers of the crowd. Kam’s music then picks ups.

A: And his opponent, weighting in at 243 and 9/64ths pounds, being accompanied by Stan Ambergree, Kam Ambergree!

[Kam and his Sister walk down side by side into the ring, waving at times to fans. Kam comes to the ring and climbs up into it, still occasionally waving at fans. He finally settles into his corner and the bell rings. Both men immediately circle each other then tie up and struggle until Kam manages to hit Maple in the gut with a knee. Maple is doubled over so Kam hits a double arm suplex that gets a cheer from the crowd. Kam gets up and pushes Maple into the corner where he puts the boot to him. He then backs off into the opposite corner, runs in and delivers a baseball slide to Maple’s groin.]

C: Evil! Evil!

[Kam pulls Maple up and hits a belly to belly suplex. He then goes for a pin getting a 1-2 count, Maple kicking out. He gets up and lifts Maple to his knees when Maple attacks him with right hands to the chest. After four shots Kam wheels away, allowing Maple to spring to his feet and hit Kam with a dropkick to the chest, sending him to the mat. Maple grabs Kam’s legs and locks in a Boston Crab which Kam can quickly break as he’s near the ropes. Maple turns on him and hits a knee smash first on the left leg, then on the right. Stan runs round to shout abuse at Maple who gives her two fingers and then drags Kam by the left ankle into the centre of the ring. Maple locks in a strong Texas Cloverleaf on Kam, who is too far from the ropes to break it. His face breaks out in pain, trying desperately to reach the far away ropes. The crowd all cheer, half for Kam, half for Maple.]

F: The pressure on Kam must be immense.

C: He’d be better quitting, it’s just not worth it.

[Kam slowly inches towards the ropes, using his forearms to drag himself. Maple’s own face is a picture of intensity as he tries to force the tap out. Kam gets closer and closer, Maple being so focussed on holding the move he is apparently oblivious to the fact that his opponent is moving then both towards the ropes. Inches turn to centimetres, centimetres to millimetres, when Kam finally throws a last gasp and grabs the rope, breaking the hold.]

C: No way! No way in hell!

F: Everyway, don’t ask me how, but apparently Kam had enough left to hold on. Look at Maple he’s furious!

[Maple springs about the ring, shouting at the floor. He turns back to the exhausted Kam, drags him back into the centre of the ring and locks in the Cold Stretch.]

C: Got to be it, it has to be, absolutely so doubt.

[Kam’s face looks as though it is about to burst when he suddenly surges to one side, throwing Maple off his back. Kam scramble on hands and knees to get outside the ring but Maple catches him with a boot to the back before he can get out. He hauls Kam to his feet and hits a reverse suplex, followed by a pin for a 1-2 count.]

F: Damn that was close.

[Kam is pulled to his knees and gets a right hand to the face. He is pulled up once again and gets the same treatment. Maple leans down to repeat the procedure when Kam lashes out with his right leg, sending Maple onto his ass. Both Kam and Maple get to their feet where Maple runs at Kam who catches him with a clothesline. Maple is immediately back up but this time runs into a spine buster. Kam now takes control and pulls Maple up onto the ropes. He whips him off them into an inverted atomic drop followed by an implant DDT.]

F: Talk about a comeback.

[Maple lies wasted on the floor as Kam manages to climb the to the top turnbuckle. The crowd are in a frenzy even though his movements are slow but he makes it and once there, jumps off and hits the Harpoon on Maple. He covers for a 1-2-3 count.]

Winner – Kam Ambergree

by Pinfall

[Stan slides into the ring and raises Kam’s left hand as the referee raises his right. Kam then leans Stan as she helps the battered wrestler out of the ring, leaving Maple in the ring using the ropes to pull himself up.]

C: Maple had him dead to rights.

F: Nonetheless a fair win for Kam in a good match. We'll be right back!

PSYCHO CIRCUS VS FEMME FATALES

UCW TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH

Fairbanks:Our main event match is up next and it features the Femme Fetales,Buffy and Faith going against champions Psycho Circus and let me tell you Creed,this match actually scares the hell out of me.Those two men,they and their manager belong in a mental institution.

Creed:They are some sick bastards,no doubt about that.The way they have been stalking and attacking people as of late,no-one is safe from them.

F:True.Well it looks as if our match is about to get under way as"Fighter"by Christina Aguilera hits the P.A.system.Buffy and Faith run out onto the stage acknowleging the crowd who cheer wildly.The two women run down the ramp,slide into the ring,then stand side by side awaiting the arrival of the champions.

C:If Felicity was smart,she'd get rid of those two.

F:Buffy and Faith?????

C:No you idiot,Vorhees and Myers.They are going to injury someone seriously one of these days,infact,it could happen tonight and if anything was to happen to my two sweetypies,well,I don't know,I would probably have to kick someones asses,bad.Hey,HEY,you can stop laughing so hard!

F:hahahahaha,,,Can't,,,hahahahahah,,,,help,,,,,,hahahaha,,,,it............

C:Laugh all you want,but it's true.Those freaks are just one wrong move away from me opening up a can of whop ass on em and I won't be held responsible for what I do.

F:What ever.We are about to find out just how violent you get tonight as the Psycho Circus' music starts to play.The Ringmaster comes out followed by Vorhees and Myers.

The three men start to make their way down to the ring when suddenly their music stops playing.The arena goes silent in wonder of what is going on.Just as sudden as it quit,the music starts up once again but this time instead of the music from the movie"Halloween"it is Tiny Tim's"Tiptoe Through The Tulips"Like a ripple effect in a lake,the laughter starts out in one small area and soon spreads to the whole arena.Vorhees and Myers stand there like statues,devoid of emotion and uncaring as the waves of laughter break over them.The Ringmaster is another story.At first he is too shocked to do much more thanstare blankly at the crowd as they laugh.He then puts his hands over his ears as if the sound causes him pain and when that doesn't seem to help,in a rage,he orders Vorhees and Myers to charge the ring.

F:Can anybody tell me what is going on?

C:Yeah,it looks as if someone is trying to get the Ringmasters goat and doing a pretty good job at it.

The Psychos looking to bull rush the girls make ready to slide into the ring but are met instead by simultaneous perfectly time baseball slides by Buffy and Faith.Myers gets knocked backwards but Vorhees just shakes his off then slide into the ring as the women scramble to their feet.Faith leaps to the top rope and leaping,catches Myers with a missle dropkick that takes him out for a bit.

F:Nice missle dropkick by Faith on Myers but the move looks to have taken it's toll on her as well.

C:My sweet,I must go to her side and see if there,,,,,

F:You keep your butt parked in that seat buster or I will be broadcasting the next show with Sandler.

C:You wouldn't.You couldn't.

F:Try me and see.

C:Asshole.

With Buffy and Vorhees left standing in the ring,Mario,the ref for the match,decides to call for the bell and the match is underway.Buffy stands at the ready but Vorhees looks to have his attention elsewheres.The Ringmaster who is try to get Myers to his feet sees his man standing there and yells at him to attack Buffy.Still a bit distracted he charges Buffy but she catches him with a monkey flip that sends him flying into the ropes.Enraged.The Ringmaster leaves off trying to get his other man to his feet and goes to ringside and starts yelling in Vorhees' ear.A more focused Vorhees gets back to his feet and makes ready to renew his attack.

C:Look,Faith has made it back up!

Faith,still showing the effects from the drop kick,pulls herself up onto the ring apron and then stands in her and Buffy's corner awaiting the tag.Vorhees and Buffy circle each other.Vorhees gets ready to charge Buffy again but is suddenly clipped from behind by Faith.Outside the ring the Ringmaster starts cursing the ref as Vorhees goes down to one knee..

C:That's it girls,give,them a taste of their on medicine.

F:Not that I can blame you,but aren't you being a bit partial?

C:You damn right I am!Did you see what those two goons did to Webster and Arnold last week!They don't need to be on the streets much less in the wrestling ring.

F:Yes,I saw what happened last week with those two former chid stars.I also remember you saying something bout Ms.Gertner looking good,even if it was from a distance.

C:Hey,I was under a lot of stress!A man is liable to say anything in those conditions.

Faith rolls out of the ring as Buffy bounces off the ropes and hits Vorhees with a dropkick to the face.Buffy leaps to her feet and tags in Faith who using the top rope,springs over the ropes and drops a leg across the throat of Vorhees.Fait quickly goes for the cover but the ref barely has a one count before she is thrown off Vorhees as outside the ring,the Ringmaster continues to scream obscenities at the ref and yelling encouragement to his wrestler at the same time.

C:I wished someone would shut him up.

F:Why don't you go and do it.Be your chance to impress the ladies.

C:I would but you've threaten to have my job if I get up out of my seat.

Creed suddenly screams as Myers' body plops down upon the announcers table.Blood is oozing from upunder his mask and has staind the front of his coveralls,making the gray look more like black.He then rolls off the table to fall on the floor.

C:DAMN IT!DAMN IT!DAMN IT!

Inside the ring Faith is stomping on Vorhees' head.She then places her foot on the ropes and using the ropes for extra leverage,begins to try to choke the life out of him.The ref moves in to break the illegal choke but before he can,Vorhees grabs Faith's ankle and shoving hard,throws her off.Faith lands hard about ten feet away but before she can scramble to her feet,Vorhees is looming over her.He reaches down and grabs her by the throat lifting her.With the ref intow,yelling for him to relaese the choke,Vorhees backs Faith into a corner but instead of hitting her,he begins to stroke her face.

C:What is that sicko doing?

F:Besides announcing the match?

C:Not me you bastard,the one in the ring,HEY,you're going to pay for that.

The Ringmaster has jumped upon to the ring apron and is yelling at both Vorhees and the ref.Unseen,Buffy comes up behind Vorhees and delivers an uppercut to the jewels that causes Vorhees to release Faith and stagger away.Buffy then dropkicks the Ringmaster off the apron and onto the crowd barrier.Buffy rolls out of the ring and attacks the Ringmaster as Faith climbs to the top turn-buckle.

C:Alright,Faith is going for the Faithless!WE'RE GOING TO HAVE NEW TAG CHAMPIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The ref is trying to get Buffy off of the Ringmaster when suddenly,as if from nowhere,Phoenix appears behind Faith.She hits Faith in the back with the womens title belt causing her to fall of of the top turn-buckle.

C:Where did she come from???????????

Phoenix jumps into the ring and swings at Faith but Faith ducks and the punch goes wide causing Phoenix to loose her balance.Fait grabs a handful of Phoenix' hair and draws back to deliver a thunderous haymaker but before she can deliver the blow.Vorhees grabs her by the wrist and spins her around.As she is let go Phoenix drops to the mat and rolls out of the ring.Vorhees kicks Faith in the gut as Myers climbs into the ring.

F:This doesn't look good.

Reversing rolls,Vorhees picks up Faith and launches her in the air where Myers catches her and plants her with a powerbomb then goes for the pinThe ref and Buffy both seeing what's going on in the ring go to jump into the ring,the ref to make a count,Buffy to save her partner,but only one makes it as the Ringmaster manages to trip Buffy up.

C:Wait a second ref,the wrong man is pinning her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mario,unaware,makes the three count.

WINNERS: PSYCHO CIRCUS

STILL UCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS

C:DAMN IT!That bitch Phoenix just cost Buffy and Faith the tag titles.

F:True.

C:That's it!!!That's all you have to say!!!Buffy and Faith get cheated every way possible and that is all you have to say?

F:I'll tell the clean-up crew to leave a light on for you when I leave.

C:What are you talking about?I'm leaving too.

F:Uh-uh,you can't leave your seat or you loose your job,remember.

C:I so hate you.