Mick: Good evening folks and welcome to yet another great UCW PPV. I'm you one of your special guest announcers Mick Foley. And to my left is a very notable man in the horror movie industry Bruce Campbell.
Bruce: Well, I'm not really in the horror movie industry as such, i'm really in the . . . .
Mick: Right Bruce, now on to our first match between current Hardcore Champ Desperado and newcomer Leo Ultimate. I think young Leo Ultimate is in way over his head. He's facing a very large and experienced wrestler in Desperado.
Bruce: Yes, but in a match so dangerous as this, you must forgo wrestling talent and just rely on wits and balance. What makes this match unique is it's not just one scaffold but four arranges in a square. And beneath these scaffolds is a spread of at least 20 or 30 tables. Some even stackes three high.
Mick: I love this match and what I like the best, besides the obvious hardcore aspect, is the fact that this hasn't been seen before. I love new and innovative ideas.
Bruce: yeah, except for that hardcore olympic challenge whatever it was Boot had way back in UCW's youth. I mean, what was he on?
Mick: Anyway, on to the match as we go the the scaffold where the wrestlers have already been put on it by a bucket crane and the bell rings. Leo Ultime begins with a spear, lunging from one scaffold to the other.
Bruce: But Desperado won't fall for that one as he swats Leo aside. Boy, the big man doesn't seem to comfortable with those swinging scaffolds. Leo tries for a drop kick but he just bounces off of Desperado and nearly falls off the scaffold.
Mick: Desperado picks Leo up and throws him down with a scoop slam before dropping a huge knee to his sternum. Desperado picks Leo up powerbomb style and, Oh no, this could be all over as Desperado walks to the edge of the scaffold. Young Leo Ultimate could be sized for a coffin before this day ends.
Bruce: Is he going to throw him off? WHAT? In an unbelievable act of disregard for his own health Desperado jumps off of the scaffold and puts Leo through two tables with a sit down powerbomp. Hell, a sit down superbomb!!
Mick: Now Bruce, you must have at least a few matches before you can go naming wrestling moves. But what carnage. Hey Bruce, did I ever tell you the story of the 1998 king of the ring, the one where taker threw me off off . . . .
Bruce: No Mick, can't say you did. But we have to break for a commercial. Up next is the tag match between Gothic Inc. and Ickeez and Rage. Stay tuned!
Mick: we're back and ready for our second match between Unsane and Gothic Inc. The ring announcer announces Gothic Inc. and the crown eagerly awaits their entrance . . . . . . . what's taking them so long?
Bruce: I don't know Mick . . . . . . . . It's been three minutes, lets send a camera crew backstage to check it out.
The camera crew wanders through backstage hallways before coming across the badly beaten bodies of Gothic Inc. Ickeez stands over their lifeless bodies and is staring at a clock on the wall.Ickeez: Dammit! What's taking him so long?
Just then Chris Rage pops out from around a corner.
Ickeez: Did you find a ref? Rage: Yeah, here he comes. The referee comes around the corner and Ickeez grabs him by the throat. Ickeez: Is our tag match stipulated to take place in the ring only? Referee: No, falls count anywhere! Ickeez: Good! Then count! Referee: But the bell hasn't rung yet! Ickeez: Well, I guess I could ring your bell! Font color = "white">The referee drops to the floor and count to three as Chris Rage had Crow pinned. Rage: Well, that's one fall, now count again!! The referee drops to the floor again and counts to three as Ickeez covers Tommy Reble. Mick: What a jip! I don't even call that a match. I always believe the fans should recieve a show worth the price of admission. Bruce: Well, If I'd actually payed to be here I'd ask for my money back. We'll be right back with the Internet Title match after we hear from our sponsors. Mick: Well folks, we are about to see what could be the match of the night, with the return of The Outsyder Adam Lax, but he will be facing UCW’s Internet Champion Sean Elevation O’Gara in an I quit match, O’Gara has already made his way down to ring side as we wait for The Outsyder. Bruce: Blackend by Metallica hits as all the lights in the arena fade to black and we see a shadowed figure standing on the ramp way with his arms out , as the camera zooms in he slowly lifts his head, the UCW fans are sharing mixed emotions towards Adam Lax, as Adam slowly makes his way to ring side. Mick:Now I see were the fans are coming from , because Adam Lax , Who at one point screwed UCW, but yet again, tried to be a savior. Bruce: Adam slides into the ring and taunts the crowd as O’Gara runs at Lax and hits him with a quick buffet buster, quickly hitting Lax with quick lefts and rights to the gut, sending Lax into the corner, O’Gara climbs the turnbuckle and attempts a DDT from the top rope. Mick: and O’Gara starting this match with great intensity, and already ring rust is effecting Lax in this match. Bruce: Lax pushes O’Gara off sending him hard to his back as Lax jumps and hits a 450 splash off the top rope as the fans go crazy, Lax slowly rolls from the ring, he seems to be looking for something under the ring. Mick: Adam Lax nailed that 450 splash perfectly , he is one of the few wrestlers today and can hit that move with such grace, and now it seems Adam is heading for his roots, what is that, a hammer? Bruce: What the hell is he doing with that hammer, he is heading back into the ring. Mick: O’gara slowly climbs the his feet, using the ropes for support, Lax runs at O’Gara with the hammer but O’Gara quickly reacts and spears Lax in the chest and jumps to his feet with a huge pop from the fans, as O’Gara picks up lax and gives him a back body drop onto the hammer witch causes many of the fans to turn there heads, as a huge puddle of blood secretes from Lax’s back. Bruce: Sweet God, Lax is hurt band, as the claw of the hammer was driven into his back, but now O’Gara is carrying Lax up the ramp. Mick: O’gara drags Lax up the ramp by his hair, and bring him to the stage, O’gara climbs down and sets up three tables and Lax continues to lay there motionless, O’gara picks Lax up and sets him up for a powerbomb , but lax drops out just in time and catches O’Gara’s head and DDTs him through all three tables. Bruce: Oh my god, O’Gara, Lax, both me have to be dead, this is crazy, if this continues neither will be able to say I quit. Mick: Lax slowly gets up, coughing up blood on O’gara who still is out, Lax, picks O’gara up and whips him through the curtain which brings them backstage as both men slowly exchange punches, with a sudden burst of energy, O’gara throws Lax into a popcorn machine with opens another gash on Lax’s head, Lax’s body is covered in the crimson blood of his own body. Bruce: Lax looks like his body has been turned inside out, him O’gara continues to battle, but now O’Gara seems to be guiding lax up a set of steps Mick: Lax slowly crawls up the steps as O’Gara bashes Lax’s head off every step both men cry in pain, as O’Gara opens a door, were it is pitch black inside, as we continue to our cameras from inside the arena, all we can see on the titan-tron is complete black, we can hear O’gara screaming as another camera in the arena spot both men slowly fighting on the catwalk, then Lax drop kicks O’Gara causing him to lean over the side of the catwalk and almost falling, saving himself at the last second. Bruce: Oh my god, can you see them up there, this is insane, if either man falls their lives will be lost, why would you ever think of going this far for what you love. Mick: O’gara rushes Lax and kicks him in the gut and hits a Double arm DDT, taking the energy out of both men, the fans are screaming, some chanting jump, Lax and O’gara both get up, we can see half the catwalk covered in Lax’s blood, Lax quickly trips up O’Gara and catches him before he falls and pulls him up in a piledriver position. Bruce: Jesus, oh my god, the catwalk could break, Lax is insane, no single man would do this, this is just sick. Mick: Lax hits a piledriver as the catwalk shakes, and we can hear cables snapping, as Lax screams in pain, and his blood flows onto the crowd, some even Enjoying it, Lax screams again, and grabs O’Gara and digs his fingernails into his back and grabs O’Gara and attempts to suplex him. Bruce: This is insane, we have never witnessed anything like this in UCW, ever, Adam Lax’s return could be the shortess return ever. Mick: Lax pulls O’Gara around quickly and hits the Suplex, O’Gara goes flying over the catwalk, and Lax’s shirt gets caught on the rail causing him to slip back, as him and O’Gara fall. Mick and Bruce: OHHH MMMYYYY GGGGOOOOODDDD!!!!!!. Bruce: Both men hit the ring at the same time, breaking right through, EMTS and the most of the locker room of wrestlers come running down, all the refs and EMTs are in the ring, as all men look in the whole and gasp n horror as we see a bloody, torn, hand raises from the wreckage, then the ring announcer gets on the mic. Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen , the winner of this match, by the rules of an I Quit match, to were the other wrestler was unable to respond, SSSSSSeeeeeaaaannnn O’ Gara. Mick: Oh my God, this is insane, O’gara survived, and now there is something wrong, the EMT’s have gotten O’Gara out, but they are still looking. . Bruce: I just got back from the ring, Lax is gone, he cant be found anywhere, what the hell does this mean, ladies and gentlemen, we must take a break to clean up this wreckage, oh my god. Mick: Hey folks, welcome back to UCW Melee. You're just in time for the main event. It's a three tier cage match between the current UCW World Champion Jack Heart, Former UCW Champ Jackal, and Former UCW Internet Champ making his big return Chris Boswell. And as you know the UCW title is hanging above the third cage and the first to grab it wins the match and the belt. Bruce: Yeah, this has turned out to be quite a card with the introduction of the sea of scaffolds match to the long list of gimmick matches. Where we saw Desperado victorious over new comer Leo Ultimate. Mick: We also saw Gothic Inc get clobbered by Ickeez and Rage in a voracious before the match even officially started. And Sean "Elevation" O'Gara got an expected win over Adam Lax. But back to the current match. Bruce: Yeah, here comes one of the challengers, Chris Boswell. He's looking pretty good considering what he's been through. Mick: Yes he does, but he gets stopped halfway down the aisle by our other challenger Jackal. Jackal attacks Boswell from behind and he rolls down the ramp right onto the cage. Jackal then picks him up and throws him into the cage. Bruce: This pre-emptive attack give Jackal the early advantage but will likely be voided when Jack Heart arrives. It's hard to maintain any advantage in a three man free for all. Especially in a steel cage! Mick: That's right, Jackal has Boswell in the corner stomping flat. He then picks Boswell up and and lands a snap suplex followed by a pin attempt. 1 . . not even a two count. Jackal want to end this match quickly. Bruce: Smart plan, he could win Jack Heart's title before he even reaches the ring. Jackal picks Boswell up and delivers a few chice blows to the face before whipping him into the ropes and knocking him down with a shoulder tackle. Mick: Jackal then picks Boswell up, throws him over the ropes to the floor. Ouch! He hit pretty hard. Jackal Leaves the ring and retrieves a step ladder from underneath the ring. He sets the ladder up and begins climbing. But where's Jack Heart? Bruce: Here he comes! Heart races down the ramp and jumps onto the cage and begins climbing. Jackal reaches the second cage first but Heart's not far behing. Jackal begins glimbing the rope ladder up to the third cage but Jack Heart has reached the second cage and Jackal is moving slowly up the shacky rope ladder. Mick: Jackal stil reaches the third cage first and starts climbing to the top. He gets there and starts unhooking it, but here's Jack Heart. Heart kicks Jackal in the gut before he can unhook the belt. And in true UCW fashion he forgoes his own health and DDT's Jackacl right through the holes in the cages through to the mat! Bruce: My God! That must have been a 25 foot drop! They could be dead! Mick: You know, when I was thrown off of the hell in a cell at the 1998 king of the ring it was only 16 feet up but it seemed like a hundred. Do you know how many stitches I had after that match? Bruce: No Mick, I don't know and I don't care. I fought demons, skeletons, and tiny ash's but you don't see me braggin do ya? Now, back to the match where Boswell rolls back into the ring and see's both Jackal and Heart motionless in the ring. He then begins setting up the ladder that got knocked down by Hearts DDT. Mick: Boswell starts climbing and almost makes it out before Heart staggers to his feet and pushes the ladder over sending Boswell crashing to the mat. Jackle gets to his feet and he begins exchanging blows with Heart. Bruce: Jackal blocks to get the upper hand and lays Heart out with a haymaker. Then a jawbreaker followed by a drop kick to the face sends Heart back into the ropes. Heart bounces off the ropes and Jackal catches him with a hip toss into a reverse chin lock. Mick: Jackal is just wearing him down so he can reach the belt first. But wait! The much ignored Boswell slams Jackal in the back of the head with a steel chair. Then proceeds to deliver shot after shot, first to Jackal then to Heart. Bruce: Now Boswell sets the ladder back up and begins climbing once more. Jackal stumbles to his feet but Boswell is already at the second cage. Jackal starts climbing the ladder as Heart gets to his feet. Now Hearts climbing the ladder. Mick: The two are on opposite sides of the ladder hitting each other as they slowly climb rung by rung. But then they both see Boswell climbing the rope ladder and realize this won't do either of them a lick of good. They quickly call a temporary truce and race up the ladder. Bruce: Boswell reaches the third cage but gets his foot stuck in the ladder. This gives Jackal and heart enough time to reach the second cage. The two exchange words and Jackal agrees to give Heart a boost up to the third cage. Boy, that'll really speed things up. Mick: Boswell free's his foot and begins climbing to the top of the third cage. But Heart's there too. Both men climb the final Cage with Jackal in hot pursuit up the rope ladder. Both Boswell and Heart reach the top and square off with lefts and rights flying. Bruce: Boswell kicks Heart in the gut and delivers a tremendous uppercut that knocks Heart off balance. Luckily he manages to grab the top of the cage before falling off. Boswell reaches for the belt but Jackal grabs his arm. Jackal gives Boswell a cold stare before twisting His arm into a hammerlock. Mick: I appeared as if Jackal was going to throw him off when Boswell in desperation lets go a mule kick to the . . . . . shall we say lower extremedies of Jackal. Jackal stumbles back but regains his balance in time. Jack Heart makes his way back to the top and now all three men stand just feet from the biggest prize in pro wrestling. The UCW World Championship. The man who had it, the man who has is, and the man who wants it more than anything. Bruce: That's right, all deserving but only one can have it. Boswell lunges at Jackal, who side steps to avoid him. Oh no! Boswell's going off, but no, he grabs Jackal by the wrist. Jackal in turn grabs the UCW Title but it doesn't comme off the hook. Mick: Both men hang perilously close to great physical harm being saved now only by the title belt flimily hanging from a steel hook. Bruce: If the belt slips both men will fall but Jackal will be the new UCW Champ. But wait, what about Jack Heart? He's just standing there smiling, laughing even. He calmly walks over to the men and points strait down. And with one swift movement he delivers a superkick to the face of Jackal sending both men off the top cage, rolling off the secound cage, bouncing off the first cage and through the cuban announcers table. Mick: Now Jack Heart removes the belt from the hook and the bell rings. The winner and still UCW World Heavyweight Champion is Jack Heart!! Bruce: Well, that's all the time we have guys. Thanks for watchin the show and be sure to pick up a copy of my latest Boot entitled . . . . Mick: Hey! What about my latest Book? Bruce: Ahhhh, nobody cares about your stupid book. They want action! drama! they want . . . . Mick: Maybe they want to see me drive my size 12 boot up your a . . . . Bruce: You wouldn't dare! The last thing we see before the picture fades to black as Mick foley miss his kick attempt and get layed out by a nasty chair shot, courtesy of Bruce Campbell. Stay tuned to UCW for further event notification wrestling fans. GOODNIGHT!!
Winners -- Ickeez and Chris Rage
Still UCW Tag Team Champions
Sean "Elevation" O'Gara vs. "Outsyder" Adam Lax
I Quit Internet Title Match
Winner -- Sean "Elevation" O'Gara
Still UCW Internet Champion
Jack Heart vs. Jackal vs. Chris Boswell
Ready to Rumble Cage World Title Match
Winner -- Jack Heart
Still UCW World Champion