Marv: Hello UCW fans, are you ready for the only non-WWF PPV for the month of April? Well here it is. Just to show how Vince Macmahon does not own everything in wrestling.
Korbin: That is right Marv, Spite is the name of the card, and it is Spite towards Vince that we'll do. And coming up are three tag teams that Vince only wishes worked for him. First coming out is Hari-Kari and the Infernal Freak, who are representing the Eternal Requiem.
Marv: And now here come Spike Roberts and Blade, who are representing the Real Youth of America. Spike and Hari-Kari have already had a couple wars here in UCW.
Korbin: And out last team, the Canadian Cripplers, Thommy Siema and Maziar Sardar. Normally Thommy would be teaming with his brother Johnny, but after the events at UCW: New Era, Johnny has been on the shelf. So he found himself a new partner in Maziar Sardar.
Marv: There goes the bell and this match is started. I should point out, that the rules of this match are the first pinfall or submission will win the match and the vacant UCW Tag Team Titles.
Korbin: Looks like Thommy will start for his team, and Spike for his. But Spike is argueing about wanting Hari-Kari in the ring, but instead Infernal Freak is starting.
Marv: I'm sure he'll get the chance, lets get this started. Here comes Thommy with a double clothesline, knocking both Thommy and IF to the ground.
Korbin: Spike had better focus if he wants to win the titles. But right now, Thommy shoves IF to his teams corner, where Maziar holds onto IF and Thommy manages to get in some punches. But here comes Spike and nails a dropkick to the back of Thommy.
Marv: Man, he really got up there with that drop kick. Spike nails Thommy with a backdrop suplex and goes for a cover, but IF breaks it up before the three. IF and Spike are punching at each other, and this lets Thommy get to his corner and tags in Maziar.
Korbin: Maziar makes a rush at Pike and IF, but they both bring him down with a double drop-toe-hold, and Maziar lands flat on his face. Spike stomps on Maziar, then IF heads back to his corner and makes a tag to Hari-Kari.
Marv: Hari-Kari heads over to assist Spike on bringing down Maziar, it loks like the rivalry between these two has been put on hold.
Korbin: Spike holds up Maziar, and Hari-Kari nails Maziar with a round house kick to the head. Maziar has got to be knocked out. HK and Spike stand arm and arm and seem to celebrate together ... but the Spike nails HK with a short arm clothesline.
Marv: Spike isn't even going for a cover yet. He just kneels on HK and pummels him a bit, then he picks him up and whips him into the ropes. HK hold on, and Spike charges towards him, HK ducks and back drops Spike to the outside, but Spike lands on his feet. Spike grabs HK and stun guns him on the top rope, and then drags him to the outside ... *whew!*
Korbin: UCW UCW UCW UCW!
Marv: It ain't done yet. Spike and HK are brawling with each other. Spike tries to whip HK into the guard rail, but HK reverses and Spike crashes back first into it. HK with a clothesline sends Spike all the way over into the fans, and HK follows ... but wait, this leaves Blade and Infernal Freak without their partners!
Korbin: This has to give Thommy and Maziar an advantage, being they are the only team who can get a fresh man into the ring when needed. Blade and IF both stomp on Maziar, but when ever one of them tries to make a cover, the other stops them.
Marv: IF and Blade are argueing, and here comes Thommy from behind and nails Infernal Freak with a forearm shot to the back of the head. Thommy picks up the tired Freak, and it looks like he is setting him up for the Siema's Pain. Blade is using Thommy's distraction to try take advantage of Maziar and picks him up.
Korbin: Thommy has IF up, and he powerbombs him from the inside, to the outside, through the Czechoslovakian announce table. That was the Siema's Pain. Blade tries to whip Maziar into the ropes, but the Maziar reverses, grabs Blade, and picks him up and nails him with the Perspolis! That is Maziars move! A cover, and there is no one to make a save ... 1 ... 2 ... 3! OUr Tag team champions are crowned!
K: Before we start our next match, we have an important announcement to make. Due to unforseen reasons, Ravnos will not be in this match, and because of this revision, this will now be a one on one hardcore match between our UCW Hardcore Champion Pyromaniac and Angel.
M: But just so not to let the fans down, there will be a special guest referee for this hardcore match ... ladies and gentlemen ... Bill Cosby!
K: The theme from the Cosby Show plays, and out comes TV Superstar Bill Cosby. The fans erupt when Cosby steps from the curtain. The fans love Bill Cosby folks, who does a little dance once he gets into the ring and the fans love it.
M: Now here comes our challenger, coming out to Halo's and Wings, a newcomer to UCW and is making his UCW debut on out PPV and in a hardcore title match no less. Angel also comes from the WFS, so this should be interesting. Angel by rights should be getting more of a reaction from the fans ... but there is no competing with Bill Cosby.
K: Now here comes Pyromaniac, the the first and only UCW Hardcore Champion, and a former tag champion ... with ... some guy. I think Pyromaniac has really found his niche with the hardcore title. He climbs into the ring and him and Angel walk face to face. Here comes Bill Cosby to explain the rules to these two.
Bill Cosby: Ok, we all know that falls count anywhere, but you can only se the special designated weapons. I want this match to go like ... Jazz music, we know everybody loves it, and fun to go all night if needed, now lets get started ... Mwaa-hahahahahaaaa ...
K: There goes the bell, and Bill Cosby steps back, and Pyro and Angel go at it. The bigger Angel powers Pyro into the ropes and tried to bully him some ... but Pyro will have none of it and just slaps Angel across the face.
M: Angel grabs Pyro and shoves Pyro to the corner and nails him with several elbows to the head. Pyro is stunned as Angel pummels on him. Angel with a stiff clothesline thats sends Pyro to the ground. Angel covers and Bill Cosby makes the count ... but only makes it to a two.
K: Angel heads to the outside and begins to search under the ring. I wonder what these special designated weapons are? Angel pulls something out ... it loooks like a tray of something ...
Bill Cosby: There is our first ever designated weapon in this hardcore match. It is a tray of Jello-pudding pops. Some of the have probably melted from being under then ring all night, but they are still good for this match up tonight. Mwaa-hahahahahaaaa ...
K: Well, there we have it. Angel prepares to head into the ring with the tray of Jello-pudding pops, and the Pyro with a baseball slide kicks it into his face. Angel is covered in jello pudding. What a mess.
M: Pyro is taking advantage of the blinded angel, and reaches under the ring ... and he pulls out ... a Kodak Instant Film Camera and smashes it over the head of Angel. Pices of the broken camera fly every where, and Pyro with a cover on the outside ... but he only gets a two count.
K: Pyro again reaches under the ring, and pulls out a case of ... New Coke?
Bill Cosby: Yes, a case of New Coke. Left over from 1985 ... Mwaa-hahahahahaaaa ...
K: Pyro shakes up a can and sprays it into the face of Angel. Angel seems pretty disgusted ... but who can blame him ... that New Coke was just plain sick.
K: Pyro again takes advantage, and leads the staggering Angel over to the Dutch announce table. He kicks Angel in the gut, and sets him up for the 100 Degrees Centigrade. He picks Angel up ... and power bombs him through the Dutch announce table. Cosby with the cover ... 1 ... 2 ... 3! Pyromaniac wins and keeps the Hardcore title. He celebrates by dancing to some Jazz music with Bill Cosby in the ring. What a match this was folks.
M: What a PPV this have been so far folks, we have crowned new Tag Team Champion, the Hardcore title has been safely kept by Pyromaniac ... Bill Cosby is here ... this is a night that we will never forget.
K: And it is not over yet. Now we have an Internet title Match. Out coming first is the former UCW Internet Champion, the Crazed Killer. CK only had the title taken away from him before the revamp of UCW: New Era, so as far as he is concerned, he is still the Internet Champion. So tonight he has to prove it.
M: Now here comes Genocide, who won this title with a surprise win over Spike Roberts. Being the only wrestler who has a belt to have not won it at New Era, but he won it right after and has kept it ever since.
K: Also, just to keep things interesting, this match has been made into a Ladder Match. And both of these two men are pretty big, so the belt will be 30 feet in the air, and we have a special 20 foot ladder for them to try to get to it.
M: Genocide is showing off his Internet Title belt to CK, then he hands it over to the referee, who attaches it to the cable, that is then raised 30 feet in the air. The bell rings, and both men get started. Genocide runs in and nails CK with a forearm to the back of the head while CK was distracted, watching the belt being raised into the air.
K: CK is knocked to the ground and Genocide stands over him and chokes him on the second rope. Genocide runs off the opposite ropes and drops his weight over CK's back. He runs off again, but this time CK moves at the last second and Genocide straddles himself on the second rope.
M: Genocide has got the be hurting from that, and then CK nails Genocide with a forearm shot to the head, knocking him between the ropes and to the outside.
K: CK heads out after him, and chokes him with a cable from the video camera. In defense Genocide reaches back, then he drops to the ground, nailing CK with a jaw breaker. CK is stunned, and then Genocide nails him in the face with a big boot.
M: Now Genocide is going for the ladder already. I guess if he knows if he wants to win this match he has to take advantage whenever he knows CK is incapacitated.
K: That is one big ladder, of course it has to be for either of these two to climb up high enough to reach that Internet Title belt. While Genocide tries to get it into the ring, CK has a steel chair, and he nails the ladder with the chair and it crashes into the face of Genocide.
M: Genocide falls to the ground and the ladder lands on top of him. CK stands above him and again nails the ladder with the chair with it on top of Genocide. Then again one more time for good measure. Genocide has got to be hurt from that.
K: Now CK throws down the chair and is picking up the ladder and sliding it into the ring. He positions it right and begins to climb up it, but amazingly Genocide is getting up and crawling back into the ring. CK is half way up, but a hurt and busted open Genocide nails him in the back with the same chair CK was using earlier, and grabs him and pulls him down off the ladder.
M: Genocide holds the chair to the throat of a struggling CK, and then crashes the chair down on Ck's head. Now Genocide is going to try climbing the ladder.
K: Genocide manages to get half way up again, but then CK manages to get to his feet, and then he staggers and falls into the ladder, sending it and Genocide crashing to the ground.
M: Ck is setting up the ladder again, and this time Genocide looks to be to hurt to move. I think CK is going to get it.
K: Wait! Coming down the aisle, it is Dark-X. The only other member of the Eternal Requiem we haven't seen tonight. Hari-Kari hasn't been seen since his brawl with Spike Roberts, and Infernal Freak has been hurt since taking that power bomb through the announce table. Dark X is climbing up on the other side of the ladder trying to stop CK. What is going to happen?
M: CK and Dark X are up to the top of the 20 foot ladder punching at each other. CK can't even try to grab for the Internet Title belt or Dark X nails him and tries to send him to the ground.
K: Dark X tries to nail him with a hard punch, but CK ducks, and picks Dark X up onto his shoulders and ... NAILS A FINAL BREATH FROM TOP OF THE LADDER TO THE MAT! Dark X has got to be seriously hurt. He's not even moving at all.
M: that fall has taken a lot out of CK. Here come several EMTs to check on Dark X. They are stretchering him off. and now Genocide is managing to get to his feet, and towards the ladder. He is starting his own climb.
K: He is almost to the top of the ladder. He is standing on top of it and trying to reach that belt. But wait ... CK is up. He sees Genocide 20 feet in teh air, and he bounces off the ropes and kicks the ladder.
M: It is teetering ... and Genocide is way up there ... here it comes! The Ladder crashes down and Genocide falls from 20 feet up, to the outside and through the Polish announce table! Good God, get those EMTs back here!
K: CK gets the ladder back into position, and he is maing the climb. This time no one is stopping him. He makes it to the tops, and he just reaches the Internet Title belt. CK is the winner.
M: Now it is time for our main event folks. And what a main event it should be, both of these stars have been around since UCW first started, but have never faced each other before now.
K: Yes, and on one side we have RJ Souza, coming out to "Going back to Cali" by Sevendust and followed by Destiny. RJ is the first and only UCW World Champion ever, first winning it by beating the now retired Twist, in a tournament final, and then after being stripped of it, winning it back by winning the battle royal at our UCW New Era Pay Per View last month.
M: And the other side is Shadow, coming out to "Awake" by GodSmack, and followed by Lilith. Shadow has been one half of the first ever UCW Tag Team Champions, with the Crazed Killer, and has been an Internet Champion after also beating Twist for that title. He has been climbing the ladder, and now all he has left to win is the UCW World Title, and now is his chance.
K: Both men are in the ring and the proper introductions are being made by UCW Announcer Paul Sandler. This should be a great match, and there goes the bell.
M: Both men tie up, and RJ manages to grab Shadow with an arm bar, but then Shadow reverses and manages to get RJ in an armbar of his own. RJ manages to grab a rope, and referee James Fairbanks orders Shadow to break the hold.
K: While the referee is distracted with Shadow, on the outside we see Lilith wind up with the riding crop and is about to nail RJ with it, but RJ notices her and points to her. Here comes Destiny and her and Lilith exchange words. I think the fur is going to fly between these two tonight.
M: Both of these two have been able to capitalize on help from their managers in the past, but the playing field for tonight is pretty much even, with Lilith there to stop Destiny from interfering, and vice versa.
K: RJ and Shadow tie up again, but this time RJ takes an advantage with a knee to the stomach of Shadow. Now RJ uses the advantage and manages to get Shadow backed up into the corner, and lays into him with a hard chop to the chest. Then another and the cry of "Whoooooo" is heard from the crowd.
M: Suddenly, Shadow grabs RJ and pulls him into the corner and nails him with several chops of his own. Both of these mens chests have got to be sore. Then RJ rakes the eyes of Shadow, his best defense right then.
K: RJ takes advantage of the blinded Shadow and nails him with a snap suplex. RJ with a quick cover ... 1 ... 2 ... no, only a two count as Shadow kicks out.
M: It is going to take more than that to beat either of these two. Neither one of them will be a push over. RJ with a reverse chinlock on Shadow, he is trying to wear him down best he can.
K: Lilith jumps on the apron and yells to her man to get up. Shadow is trying his best to get back to his feet, but RJ has got the hold clamped on tight, and it looks like Shadow is going to slowly drop back down.
M: Here comes Destiny again, and she grabs Lilith and pulls her off the apron to the floor. I told you none of this would be tolerated.
K: Lilith gets up and shoves Destiny to the ground. Destiny gets up and her and Lilith are screaming at each other. I think we are going to see a ... you know ...
M: The referee heads outside to the two women, trying to keep them apart for now, but the fans boo him. They want to see the ladies go at it. But in the ring, Shadow is back to his feet, but RJ is still trying to bring him back down.
K: Shadow kicks back and low blows RJ, Dusty Rhodes style. A dirty trick, but it was what Shadow had to do to not lose this match. Shadow turns around to the stunned RJ and nails him with an enzeguri kick to the head. Shades of the late, great, Owen Hart.
M: The referee notices what is happening in the ring, and dives back in just in time for when Shadow covers RJ. 1 ... 2 ... no, only a two count and this time RJ kicks out.
K: RJ tries to get to his feet again, but is kicked in the gut by a frustrated Shadow. RJ rolls onto his back, but instead of going for a quick cover, Shadow rushes to the corner. He climbs to the top rope ... and a moonsault! But RJ gets his knees up in time and Shadow crashes stomach first onto them. Both men are hurt and they roll over to opposite corners.
M: Both men are laying hurt, and the referee is starting a 10 count. Not like this, no one wants the match to end like this. Not on a Pay Per View main event that so many people payed to see.
K: Lilith is over to Shadow and is trying to wake him up ... and what is this? She also trying to hand him her riding crop for him to use! But here comes Destiny, she is having none of it and she grabs it from her and throws it to the crowd.
M: Here come the heated words again, and Destinty grabs Lilith by the hair and throws her into the ring. Destiny then heads in after her ... Oh my God ... here it comes ... it's ... it's ... a ...
K: The ladies are circling each other and are kicking of their high heeled shoes. They charge at each other and now we have a ...
M: CATFIGHT! CAAAAAAAAT FIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
K: Alright Marv, calm down. Lilith and Destiny are scratching and tearing at each other. Lilith has Destiny on bottom and is slamming her headfirst into the mat, but Destiny grabs her hair and pulls her down, then positions herself on top and then nails into Lilith with several hard punches.
M: Awwww ... here comes the guys. Shadow grabs Desitiny and tries to pull her off of Lilith, and RJ is up and he is pulling Lilith away.
K: The women are still kicking and screaming, trying to get to the other. Bet then RJ pulls Lilith into position for the Bad Karma Drop ... he wouldn't would he?
M: Well now Shadow is doing the same, and he is positioning Destiny for the Death Descent. It's a face off here folks. Both guys are holding the ladies hostage until the other guy lets go of the other girl.
K: Then at the same time, RJ nails the Bad Karma Drop on Lilith, and Shadow with the Deaths Descent on Destiny. Both ladies are knocked out and have got to be seriously hurt.
M: Oh the humanity! Nooooooooooo ...!
K: Now these two are pissed at each other, before it was just about respect, but not any more. RJ rushes in with a clothesline, but Shadow ducks and nails a neck breaker on RJ. Another cover ... but then another two count.
M: Shadow picks RJ up and kicks him in the stomach to try set him up for the Deaths Descent, but RJ catches his foot. Shadow tries for another enzeguri, but this time RJ was ready for it and ducks and Shadow lands face first on the mat. RJ tries for an ankle lock submission hold, but Shadow manages to crawl to the ropes.
K: RJ grabs Shadow and pulls him away from teh ropes and tries for a german suplex, but Shadow switches momentum and a quick roll up ... another two count but RJ kicks out.
M: They both get to their feet at the same time, but RJ nails Shadow with a round house kick and a quick cover of his own, but again only another two count.
K: RJ picks Shadow up and tries to send him to the corner to get up for a splash, but Shadow reverses and sends RJ into the corner. Shadow runs in but RJ raises his foot and Shadow crashes face first into it. Shadow staggers out and RJ kicks him in the stomach and now he has him set up for the Bad Karma Drop. This is going to be it.
M: RJ picks him up for the powerbomb... but no! While in the air, Shadow puts his leg over RJ and nails the Deaths Decent! 1 ... 2 ... 3! This match is over and we have a NEW UCW World Champion. We finally have a second world champion and it is Shadow. This is history folks. What a PPV this was.