February 4th
Hey everyone! Guess who's birthday it is today! Nick's! Yes that's right, and he's going to be a BIG 16! So lets all give him a big hand!
(Everyone
claps for Nick)
(except
for one smart aleck who gives him one of those big foam #1 hands)
Nick likes punk 'music', chicken, orange soda, and big butts. (He can't lie) You might know him from your local mosh pit or adult video store.
Good. Now for the cake. Look how nice it looks!
(Everyone gasps at the wonderful imaginary cake)
Looks tasty! Ok, we have to sing first though.
Happy
Birthday to you!
Happy
Birthday to you!
Happy
Birthday dear Niiiiiick...
Happy
Birthday to you!
Make a wish and blow out the candles Nick!
(Nick blows out the candles)
Wow, all in one breath! That's good luck. We'll just pretend we didn't see that spit..
You know guys, Nick is an Aquarius, the RaGiNg water bearer. He shares his birthday with Dan Quayle, Rosa Parks, Charles Lindbergh, and Ida Lupino..whoever that is.
Present
time! Here's one from Jayne, wow!
It's
a lovely Nick is Great sign!
Gosh, that was mighty nice. Now that Nick has opened his present(s), (no one else volunteered to make one) it's time to give him his birthday spankings! Who will it be? Good Friend um..i dunno, Carl , of course!
(Good Friend Carl gives Nick his 16 birthday spankings)
Now that that's done, I think we can all go home. Before you leave, take time out to send Nick a birthday message at enru@thetoilet.com.
No, I'm serious, do it!
Ok, now that you have, you can leave for real. Please take a party favor on your way out. And remember, you are special too, even if it's not your birthday!
And Nick, have a HaPpY Day!