INTRODUCTION
This is a story about the french pirate and some other people. The characters in this story are purely fictional, if you want to believe me. If anything sounds familiar to you, it is a coincidence.

Once upon a time there were 5 people. Their names were Gregoire, Delphine, Louis, Jeanette, and Olivier. With the exception of Gregoire, all of them were in a bar at Marseilles. Louis and Jeanette were sitting at one table, while Olivier and Delphine were at one oppostie of them.  Olivier was trying to get the waitress to bring him some more champagne, and Delphine was brushing her hair and putting lip gloss on. Louis was trying to make his ears move and Jeanette was reciting Shakespeare monologues. As you can see, they are 4 very different people.
And then the northern wind brought another individual into the scene. It was Gregoire. "Bonjour tout le monde. Je suis Gregoire, le pirate français." "Um, we don't speak french", explained Jeanette. "Oh, that is quite alright.", said Gregoire with the most adorable french accent. "What I said is, Hello everyone, I am Gregoire the french pirate." "You may be Gregoire the french pirate but I bet you can't wiggle your ears!", exclaimed Louis. "Au contraire!" Needless to say, Gregoire could wiggle his ears. And also needless to say, Louis isn't very intelligent.
Gregoire chose to sit at the table with Olivier and Delphine. Olivier was on his 5th glass of champagne, and Delphine had started on her eyeshadow. They were absorbed in their activities so they didn't mind Gregoire sitting with them. But Jeanette did. She decided to sneak over and sit there also, leaving Louis with the kids' menu to color.
"So, where'd you come from?" asked Jeanette. "Well, I have been travelling for many months, but most recently I was located on the coast of Jemappelayventradiau.", explained the dashing Gregoire. "Oh..um...I know where that is." "C'est bon! The weather is very nice there, but I must confess they don't have the good quality cheese a frenchman needs to survive." Jeanette wasn't quite sure what to say to that, she was content on just listening to him talk anyway. Olivier had finished his champagne.
"Ah...can someb'dy get me a nutter glass o' dis fine champain I's got here?", requested Olivier. "Before I give you anymore alcohol, I need a down payment of 20 francs.", said the waitress. Obviously she doubted Olivier had enough money in his pockets to pay for his constantly growing bill. And she was right. Before Olivier could answer, he passed out and all the waitresses searched his clothes for money. They made a profit of 2 pieces of gum and a movie ticket stub before throwing Olivier out on the street.
This left Jeanette alone with Gregoire and Delphine had gone over to Louis to ask him if she had anything in her teeth. Louis was having trouble connecting the dots on his menu so Delphine decided to help him. Meanwhile, Jeanette was still trying to make conversation with Gregoire.
"So, where do you plan to go after Marseilles?" asked Jeanette. "Ah well I plan to get a crew and sail to Greece. I heard their feta is marvelous.", explained Gregoire. "So you just go around looking for places with good cheese?" "Yes, pretty much." "That sounds great! Can I go with you??", yelled Jeanette. "As long as you have the passion for cheese that I do, I don't see a problem. But, I need 3 more people.", replied Gregoire.
Anyway, basically what happened next was Delphine was told Tom Cruise would be on the ship, Olivier was dragged off the street, and Louis was told that it was a potato carrier. Everything was joyous. Gregoire's ship had only 3 rooms though. Everyone agreed that Louis could sleep out on the deck. Gregoire said that Jeanette could have his room and he'd stay outside with Louis to make sure he didn't go overboard. That left Delphine and Olivier. Delphine said she didn't care if Olivier stayed with her as long as he had breathmints.
The first thing Jeanette did was to make sure no one would come in her room. She locked the door, and set to work. She was divising a plan of making sure there would be no obstacles between her and Gregoire. There was no competiton on the ship, except Delphine. But she didn't worry about that because Delphine wears so much makeup that if she got within 10 feet of anyone they'd have makeup on too. Jeanette couldn't see why that would be attractive to any guy. She wrote out what she would say, and how she would say it. Then someone knocked on the door.
"Um...who is it??", asked Jeanette. There was no answer. She put her plan away and opened the door. It was Olivier. "Oh, its you. AA is down the hall y'know.." She was about to shut the door but then Olivier pushed his way in. "What do you want?", said Jeanette. "Huh? Aren't you gonna scream or something? Aren't I threatening?", asked Olivier. "No." "Oh." Olivier explained that he couldn't breathe because Delphine had sprayed her "sunny skies" perfume and it had intoxicated the cabin. "A likely story..", said Jeanette as she let Olivier sit down. She wasn't used to housing drunks.
Jeanette told Olivier he could stay in there for the night and she would sleep outside. I forgot to tell you the ship had already gone out to sea, but it had. Jeanette walked around the deck looking for Gregoire. She finally saw him, he was leaning over looking at the ocean below. "Gregoire!", yelled Jeanette running over to him. Gregoire quickly turned around, and slipped on a conveniently placed banana. "Ah! A conveniently placed banana!", yelled Gregoire as he flipped over the edge of the boat. The raging waters of the Mediterranian had engulfed the beautiful french pirate. Jeanette ran over to the edge. "Gregoire! Come back!" Gregoire's head surfaced for a moment and he said "Je regrette, mais je ne peux pas maintenant!" "I don't speak french!", screamed Jeanette. "Oh, I forgot. Sorry, but I can't right now." "Oh, ok, I'll see you later then Gregoire. Au revoir!", called Jeanette. Gregoire waved at Jeanette and then a big wave came and swallowed him up.
It was not until a while later Jeanette realized that Gregoire wasn't coming back. She sighed and wondered what she was going to do now. Just then Louis walked over to her. "Gee, that was a good banana if I ever had one.", he said. "WHAT?! You ate the banana??", yelled Jeanette. "Yeah...is that a problem?" "YES, that IS a PROBLEM!!! You killed Gregoire!", cried Jeanette. "Gregoire? Who's Gregoire? Did he eat a banana too?" It was obvious Louis wouldn't be able to comprehend the complexity of the situation so she gave up. It was almost dawn and she began to think about what to tell the rest of the crew.