| Re: My Britney Lewis, Mar 01, 2002 01:55 AM You did an execelent job on your web page. Your choice of bright backgrounds adds a lot as it grabs the readers attention. Your pictures are of execelent quality and positioned corretly. At first, I thought that you were talking about the Waller Creek here in Austin, so you might want to clearify that its from your hometown. Also, you should add more detail to what you can remember from your childhood and your experiences with nature. You did and execelent job though. Re: My Darcy, Feb 28, 2002 10:35 AM Maggie - this is an incredibly moving story! You could improve by elaborating on the emotinal effects of losing your friend Charles. You talked about how it made you appreciate how precious life is -- did you change anything about your life (values, lifestyle...) upon this realization? Your photos compliment your work really well. The one of the sun on your sitting spot is amazing - it looks professional! Re: My Kate Lincoln, Feb 26, 2002 05:28 PM Maggie, what a beautiful spot! You are lucky to have had such a wonderful place to share with your friends. You did a wonderful job of letting the reader khow the importance of the creek for you, I understood that easily. My suggestions would be to embelish on the actual area, what was it like? Where did you usually sit and what animals did you see? I might suggest a change on the intro to the story too, the importance of your decision on what to write about and the project for school are not that clear. I do like the piece about Charles, it adds a lot of meaning to your story. I too lost a friend the same way and understand the importance of your places that you shared. Great job. Re: My Katy , Feb 26, 2002 10:30 AM You had some awesome pictures of your secret hiding place. I liked how your story started with a central concept, perhaps you could have tied it up in the end a little more by mentioning friendship in greater detail. I appreciate how you felt comfortable to write about your friends passing. Perhaps you could have written a little more about your reaction to his death and how that made you feel- but I realize you might not have done this because the wound is still fresh. Re: My Mia Baxter, Feb 26, 2002 10:27 AM Your story is beautiful. I captured a great depiction of your friend Charlie from the beginning. I did not expect your story to turn into what it did. The mood is sort of bitter sweet. It is very touching and you did a great job. I am glad that you shared this particular story. I like the comparison to childhood- you are right on with that, I had a secret place just like that when I was little. Good job! Re: My Marisol S., Feb 26, 2002 10:07 AM Wow Maggie, that was a great story. The end of course is sad. I had a friend die last summer and I know how hard that can be. Going back to the beginning, ou mentioned a project that had to be done for the class. You didn't tell us what the grade was. Also, when you guys went to this creek, what were you thinking and what were your feelings about it? The pictures are great. They stand out a lot and they are very pretty. Perhaps try to write more about the pictures and what the mean to you. Maybe adding a paragraph or two on the pictures would make you essay even better. I loved it. |