ME(ET), THE NERD !
© 2000 Jan Koschinsky
Me(et),
the net-nerd...
Do you regret things youīve done?
I found that I thought/believed that I can live with lots of things...I CANīT!
Iīve come to a point, where I cannot take it anymore.
I will not take it any longer and I am doing anything to prevent others
from getting under my skin for the things I have done!
I am not proud of everything I have done...
I thought this is the way of the world.
If you canīt beat them, join them! No longer!
Lucky man or woman, who can say:"I regret nothing! I would do it the same
way any given time."
I donīt tick that way.
Here I am, typing as I go, breathless and questioning myself all the time.
Yeah, I regret things.
And I try to change these, even though itīs way too late for some of them.
Now I found you, whoīs oh-so-special to me.
I met you long ago, lightyears away from here.
You found me special, too, or so I believe.
If it wouldnīt be for my paranoia, I would believe this with all my heart.
I canīt and this make me angry!
I canīt for my past and not for my future!
I hate me for this, but this somehow doesnīt sound right, now does it?
No, it doesnīt!
I flood the net and you with mails, desperate and even more afraid.
I write the truth as I can feel it but still I want to hide.
I wanted to tell you this.
I got a life and some special people whom I love and respect.
So Iīm not some sort of net-nerd without a real life.
It takes time to write to you.
But one day, Iīll be able to answer the simple question from above:
"Not a single word!" (I love Edith Piaf!)