March 29th, 2000

-  MATCH 1:  Michael Jobber & Timothy Jobber vs. Bubba Godfrey  -  Handicap Match

Nate Richards came down to the ring on Bubba's back.

The Jobbers fell off the balcony during their entrance, allowing Bubba to gain an early lead.  The Jobbers fought back with a variety of slaps, shoves, and weak kicks.  Timothy helped his team take an advantage with a devastating wedgie on Bubba.  However, this was not as hard as it sounds for Bubba, as he hit the ho-b!tch-i-lizer on Michael.  Timothy got Michael out of it, but accidentally hit his brother.  Timothy fought back, hitting Michael with the top of the Garbage Can of Doom.  Bubba hit him with a big powerslam, and got the pin for the win.

WINNER - Bubba Godfrey

-  Bob Roberts has been asked by Peewee to choose three people for Enigma to face.  He chooses Kid Kelly Cool, Ho Ho Tyler Mercy, and his favorite wrestler, KJ Lear.

-  MATCH 2:  Kid Kelly Cool, Ho Ho Tyler Mercy, and KJ Lear vs. Enigma  -  3-on-1

The team of Kelly, Ho Ho, and KJ quickly fell apart when Ho Ho started going after the annoying Kid Kelly Cool.  KJ took offense at this and went after Ho Ho.  Kelly accidentally hit KJ instead of Enigma, and suddenly all four men got into a veritable battle royale.  Ho Ho was hit with a pedigree from Enigma and was knocked unconscious temporarily.  Enigma took the win when he hit a big powerbomb on KJ for the win.

WINNER - Enigma

-  EJW Owner Peewee Reddenbacher says that there are many "Jobbers" in the EJW, and they are good enough to deserve their own title ("good enough").  Peewee says the first ever EJW Jobber Champion will be crowned as Alabama Phil will take on the Mac of Howell.

-  MATCH 3:  Alabama Phil vs. The Mac of Howell  -  First EJW Jobber Title Matchup

The match started off fast as both men went for a clothesline and missed.  Then they did it again... and again... and again... this truly was a match of JOBBERS.  It took most of the match for one of them to hit an offensive move, and it was Alabama Phil hitting the Heart of the Dixie Headbutt on the Mac after tripping on him.  Alabama Phil pinned the Mac and became the first ever EJW Jobber Champion.

WINNER and NEW EJW Jobber Champion - Alabama Phil

-  MATCH 4:  Cory "The Real Deal" Steele vs. Jimmy Sweetness vs. Nate Richards  -  EJW Backyard Title Triple Threat Matchup

Right off the bat, Nate and Jimmy, surprisingly teamed up and went after Cory, as Nate hit Cory with the Singapore Cane.  Moving on, Jimmy was the next to be teamed up on, as he was on the receiving end of many kicks to the back.  Cory went to hit Jimmy with the Garbage Can of Doom, but Jimmy moved out of the way.  Fortunately for Cory, he then successfully hit Jimmy with the Can.  Nate went after Cory, and struck him with an aluminum... thing.  Jimmy then grabbed the backstop and smacked Nate with it.  Nate then hit Jimmy with the Garbage Can of Doom.  Then Cory hit Jimmy with an aluminum pie plate.

It went on like this for a while, and Jimmy and Nate joined up again and were able to get a pin on Cory after a devastating 3-D.  The match now came down to Nate and Jimmy.
Phatty B ran in and tried to help Nate, but accidentally hit Nate instead.  Jimmy got the win, and the Backyard Title.

After the match, Nate called Phatty a loser who always screws up.  Phatty became enraged and attacked Nate.

-  Scuffy arrives at the building and wants to know if he can wrestle today.  The announcers say it's okay, but have no idea who the hell he is.

-  MATCH 5:  Omen vs. Scuffy

Early in the match, the words "Mechanical Excellence" were heard.  Would we finally find out who was behind these words being heard, and the mechanical problems the EJW had been having?  Yes, we would, as a mysterious stranger came out.  Scuffy ran away screaming.

   MATCH 5 (part 2):  Omen vs. ???

The announcers did not know who this man was, and they decided to dub him "The Machine", for obvious reasons.  The Machine dominated for quite a while, until finally, Omen seemed to be affecting the Machine with his awesome technical prowess.  Unfortunately, he was unable to stay in control as the Machine hit Omen with the Garbage Can of Doom.  The Machine won the match with a very strange looking submission manuever, that has been dubbed "Mechanical Excellence."

WINNER - The Machine

-  Jimmy Sweetness catches up to Phatty B in the backstage area.  Jimmy thanks Phatty for his help.  Phatty is very upset, but Sweetness offers Phatty the chance to be his b!tch from now on.  Phatty accepts.

-  Acid has been forced to choose two partners to fight Nate and his two mystery partners tonight.  Acid chooses Jimmy Sweetness and Phatty B.

-  Nate has two mystery partners of his own.  He brings in his brother from the Bronx.  His second partner is Cory Steele, because Cory feels he was screwed out of his title.

-  MATCH 6:  Acid, Jimmy Sweetness, and Phatty B vs. Nate Richards, Joey Richards, and Cory Steele  -  Gauntlet Match

Cory Steele and Phatty B started off this match.  Phatty started off swinging at Cory, and gave him two piledrivers, one of which knocked the win out of Steele.   But Cory took the first fall with a devastating Steele Mill on Phatty.
Jimmy Sweetness was the next person in, and he came in with force, taking Cory down.  Cory fought back and was able to give Jimmy Sweetness his own finisher, the Sweet Meat.  Jimmy took control again, and hit the Sweet Meat for the fall.
Joey Richards leapt off the balcony onto Jimmy, and hit many good moves, including a DDT, and some spectacular dancing.
Joey took a devastating launch through the backstop.  Joey eventually came back to take this fall after a Judo Front Slam.
Next in was Acid, who completely demolished Joey Richards, and took the fall with a Death Valley Driver Drop.
Nate Richards was the final entry into this match.  Nate made some great reversals, but Acid took control again, until Nate hit him with repeated knees to the face.  Nate then did a giant spin kick to the face of Acid.  Acid regained control when he reversed a headlock and hit him with a side slam.  Suddenly, Enigma, Joey Richards, and Jimmy Sweetness all joined the fray.  Amidst all this mayhem, Acid took the win with the Acid Rain Double Powerbomb..

WINNER:  The Team of Acid, Jimmy Sweetness, and Phatty B