One day, Mr Elizabeth was rifling through the trashcan next door, to see what he could find, when he found something rather disturbing-HIS PIPE.  Now what’s that you saying? Mr Elizabeth doesn’t have a pipe?  Well, let me tell you, he does.  Well, anyway, Mr Elizabeth thought to himself, he thought, “Now, what’s my pipe doing in next door’s trash can?”  “ What are you doing in my trash can?” called Herbert Crumpletoe, Mr Elizabeth’s next-door neighbour.  “Get out of there you little blighter or I’ll break your legs.”  Now, Mr Elizabeth was most alarmed at this and took to flight.  He ran down the alleyway at 1 mile an hour (top speed for a History teacher) amidst cries of “I’ll get you, you little rascal, just you wait.”

  Well, Mr Elizabeth had been running now for over 2.2 minutes, and he was rather tired.  He hid in a pile of leaves until Mr Crumpletoe had passed by.  Well, Mr Elizabeth was rather tired, as I said before, so he waddled back to his tree house, cowering in the shadows and praying that he would not be sighted by anyone.                      

  Well, Mr Elizabeth immediately arrived home and rushed to the safety of his beloved tree house.  He sat there, shivering with fear as he heard Mr Crumpletoe telling mother what he had seen Mr Elizabeth doing.  “Dear” called Mother, obviously searching for him.  But, alas, he was nowhere to be seen.  Mother phoned the police at once and paced up and down the drawing room, anxiously waiting for them to arrive.  They arrived.  Then Mr Elizabeth came down from his tree house to get some chocolate biscuits, as he was feeling rather peckish.  “Where the **** have you been dear, you ****hole.  I’ve got the whole of the neighbourhood out looking for you.  Now **** off back to your tree house and think about what you have done.”  Said mother.