Run 1574. 29 March atop MacGillycuddy's Reeks, far from Sentul Selatan.
Semi-Irish Hares: Pretty Boy, Poison.

Stats: : Members 36, plus 6 visitors/new members = Total 42.

Hopefully this closes the current season of Irish runs, at least until 12 July (Orange Day), which always gets pre-emptied by Froggophiles celebrating Danton's inferno. One of the nice things about being scribe, is that you always get the last word. Well today's word is LEGS, and as Fanny definitely did not say, "Spread the word." Did any of you read Angie's sobbing whinge about his SHIT OF A RUN. No, I should hope not, straight to recycle, which is what they should do to Angie too.

Well tonight was just like the old country, green, boggy (what? You've never seen such sights in Oz or Philippines, where the hares hail from). It was a walker's delight - no not KonkK, the real good news was his absence, nor the Red Label type Walker served later in the circle, not disguised as Leprechaun Whiskey this year. From the ridge where we parked, the trail traversed across the hill, over the valley, and followed an overgrown trail on the other flank of the valley that even a goat would have difficulty in finding. No checks (no other trail), no running, but great views. Superbrat was too busy complaining that the frb's were getting away from him, and he couldn't overtake, to enjoy the view, or anything else. The trail led down to the waterfall and then back up the other side of the valley, for a stroll of just over a hour. The high point of the run could have been Vatican Rag's heart attack on the climb back, but he sat until his pulse returned to normal, and then found an even longer and steeper way back in.

It looked like an army of kids had relayed paper in the valley, strange since there's no kampung. Even stranger was freshly sprayed "JRA." Were the hares so pissed they couldn't spell JH3, or IRA? If you believe KK, it was Japanese Revolutionary Army, who manifestly failed to lead anyone astray. Please send Japanese Irish jokes to B-1-o for the yearbook, which just for a change, is short of funds. So must for the much vaunted B-1-o business plan.

Almost certainly a General's Eye view. The circle was held on the lawn of a not so small bungalow overlooking the waterfall valley. Rumour said it may be Prabowo's. The furniture had dust covers, and a sign on the door said, "Gone to Jordan." It was a magnificent view, and RA and hares must be congratulated on a magnificent sunset. The cliff fell steeply at the edge of the lawn, and Tom Jones wasn't seen again after he went for a piss.

The troops gave their opinion of the "not a run, but a lovely walk," and were generally in favour. It was summed up by Master Sergeant Tarzan who gave the wrong answer. So, it was a "bog of a run."

Thanks to Lane and Dyna Air for the only authentic Irish article, a black T-shirt not sponsored by Guinness showing smiling faces in the head of glasses of black liquid. And for the Irish frankfurters. Herpes asked, "Do I have to put my hand into the boiling water to get one?" The scribe offers a prize to the best e-mail Irish response to this burning question.

Philthy did explain that what Tarzan actually said was, "No more Announcements." Since, nobody, and I mean nobody paid any attention whatsoever to the announcements, why do we bother. As always, the worst offenders were ex HM's, such as B-1-o who perpetually private parties. If he wants Tarzan as HM next year, why not set an example and show just a little respect? As you may probably be aware, Tarzan actually wants the job of HM. No-one else has stuck their head over the parapet to be counted. The minutes of the last mismanagement, handed out tonight, say we will have a secret ballot for HM. They don't say who gets to vote. Is it the committee, hoi polloi, or a quorum of Konkrete Kock's left and right hands? Nevertheless, if there's only one candidate, that's who you'll get. If you want Tarzan, be happy, do nothing, but please refrain from incessant pp's. If not, volunteer, or persuade some other sucker to do so. Surely we're not short of talent, next week's hares have 750 runs apiece, Jonesy has an infinity of silly walks, Mudguard has showed what he can do, so has Superbrat, and even Fanny, dare I say it, has his points (although not many). Who's Maandi?

Glory, Glory. The MM sometimes has a rotten job. The circle were pogged with hot dogs, and soporific from Tarzan's soliloquy. So he was forced into a solo of an otherwise good contributory song. How many hashers caught that classic line, "Pulled his flaccid penis out?" Fortunately the RA livened up the proceedings (another first) by taking an inadvertent swim in the pond to rescue a 10 run shirt which he awarded to someone. Was it JP? That must be why we sang "Ou est le papier." MM crusty Nuts got his 50 run mug, didn't need to sing for it, but entered the Balls of Kirriemuir as MM, another well known Irish song, which got a least one contributing verse.

Enter the hares. To the tune of, "It's the wrong way to fuck a fairy."

The RA picked on Superbrat for a couple of dd's. It wasn't him that pushed you! And the hares continued with an opinion of the mismanagement, entitled "Fornification," sort of like "Cats on the rooftops" only quieter.

Konkorde brought Konkorde junior with him, have we named him "Piper" or "Cessna" yet? He received a 25 hare pewter bottle trophy, without any Anker label. "Don't worry," he said, "I've plenty of Bintang labels at home." He did not sing Danny Boy however, but tried to remember "Monday Morning," a song he wrote and first sang 25 years ago.

And then a hiatus in the scribes notes. It says here, Elephant Man, boring? Does that mean he did something or not. Guess if you don't remember either, you'll never know.

And finally, IRISH STEW

Received by e-mail : "Witless, You may wish to mention in the hash sheet that last night, myself and Pretty boy sat alone in the Akbar and ate 15 meals between us. Cheers, Oisin."

Some hashers do like to make a full, proper night of it, and plan Tuesday morning meetings accordingly. Moreover, we expect hares to organise an On-On for us. So here's some words of advise if you don't like being lonely at the dinner table. The following (in order) lead to a high attendance at an On-On. 1.Lay on free food at the site. 2.Promise free food elsewhere. 3.Lay your run on BH4 instead, attendance is 90%. 4.Find a friendly local warung close to the site, that hashers have to go past. 5.Persuade YWHMH to close the circle before 8.00pm when only the dregs are left sipping the dregs.