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Jakarta Hash House Harriers Hash Sheet run 1720 |
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The REAL Hash Shiite
Don't mind that pack of lies written by the Lithuanian Harbour Master or that Hapless Welshman Corporal Bludsnot. This is the real thing, as evidenced by the official Hash Logo.
Tarzan
and his little helpers (Rustam Effendi and Abie) laid us a run that was so convoluted that it went up it's own arsehole
several times before eventually plopping us out at a check in the middle of a
barren Football field, miles from anywhere. While some decided to head straight
for the beer truck (at least 5km away), others actually looked for paper and
took the long way home.
Tarzans two little helpers were nowhere to be seen, apparently they pissed off early when MGM told them they were to be iced. That left poor Tarzan to fend for himself, but it's hard to feel sorry for tarzan...
Stand-in HM Magic Dragon asked the hapless Welshman, Corporal Bludsnot to be the moderator of the run discussion...
ClarkeKunt thought that the run would have been a lot better if it had been laid in Bangkok. Tom Bin Jones did his praise be to Allah bit and then said he thought that the run was both interesting and invigourating, just the thing for a man of his advanced years. Kontrite Kock could not remember anything about the run but said he was happy that may of his (grand)children recognised him as he ran about. Nevertheless he thought the run was fucked up because he had forgotten to bring his favourite shoes, the ones which match his powder blue stockings. Jonesy would not shut up because for once in his life he saw paper on the run, and all the arrows were pointing in the right direction. He claimed to be a front runner but nobody believed him. Sheep'sKin said it was an excellent run and that he really enjoyed the sausages. Senile old fart. Poor Bludsnot did not quite know what to make of all this and in the end took the cowards route and said it was a "good run". Jonesey reminded everybody again that he was a front runner, and then it was straight into the music.
With two RA's (komplete Kock and elephant man), and three MM's (Magic Dragon, KlarkeKunt and Sheepskin) it was the liveliest circle in living memory as the five tried to outdo one another. Even Tarzans song was almost intelligible but it was soon revealed that it was in fact written for him by cpl Bludclot. Tarzan pointed out that many famous singers have their material written for them by professional songwriters, but his pleas fell on deaf ears and the ice was called for. Cpl Bludclot said he was pleased by this because Tarzan hadn't paid him for the song. Tarzan said the song was shite anyway and that's why he would not pay for it. To protect the rights of both parties, not to mention the collateral damage to the innocent bystanders who had to listen to all this shit, the RA ordered all copies of the song to be burned, and his fatwa was immediately carried out.
Tom Bin Jones reported to us that Kabul HHH is alive and well, and that their dear HM (Abdul bin Fucked) has asked JHHH to lobby George Bush to stop the bombings between 5:00pm and 8:00pm on Mondays. He said that while KHHH lacked some of the ingredients of a traditional Monday night (beer, music, pussy etc.), nevertheless they found other ways to have fun under their loose garments. He sends his regards to Konkrete Kock and asks can he have his vibrator back, please. In response Konkrete Kock recalled fondly recalled he experiences in the Afghan capital. After running around in the desert for an hour, a few cool bottles of goat milk, and an hour or so of groping around under each others loose fitting garments, they met up with an elite group of Irish Republican Army rangers on a special mission. They broke into the zoo, shot all the gorillas, rescued 6 Afghans from the dog pound, then blew up three cars without burning their lips on the exhaust pipes.
ClarkeKunt who has finally been let out of his house after five weeks of hiding under his bed, reported that in their wisdom, the Canadian Embassy have decided to move to a safer location in Jakarta. The building is called the World trade centre. Go figure. Magic Dragon sponsored a barrell of piss because his missus is so much smarter than he is and has been made a professor of Hashenomics. Guess who wears the pants in that family.
Hats off and piss on the floor at 8:15, followed by sausages and mash at Sate Bang Dul
Next Weeks run: 853 = MGM @Cimanggis, Ikan Bakar Kalimantan.