THE SECRET DOUBLE LIVES OF DR COLOSSUS

When El Demento isn't fronting one of the greatest rock'n'roll bands in the universe he is none other than Che Guevara, of 'posters' fame! 'Its not much fun though', he sighs 'This communist crap plays merry hell with my marriage to Eva Braun.

Mevs leads a busy life, and on his days off he likes to relocate to Japan and pretend to be Godzilla. 'Its so much fun stepping on the buildings and watching the little people run away' he says,  but why don't people realise that I have feelings too? Am I not a man?' Frankly, No.

When not drumming, Le Dynamo pops down to Londons East End where he is a proffesional Cockney wideboy,  always rolling out barrels and upping his knees. 'Apples and Pears, Lav a duck Guvna in the lockup you slag' is his all to familiar catchphrase.

Part time member Mr Badman also has a secret life based in London, but it is very different from Le Dynamos. Indeed, he is one of the capitals top 'it' girls, Regularly attending celebrity parties and going down the Met Bar to have Cocaine blown up his arse.