Boone & Cammeron: Tandem of Trouble

PEORIA, Ariz. -- Mike Cameron sauntered out of the weight room, stopping at the sight of a visitor.

"Hey," he said.

"Do you think I can get through airport security with these pipes?"

"What are you talking about, Mike?" I asked.

"These arms," he asked, looking down at his biceps. "With pipes like these, can I get through security?"

"God, Mike. Where'd you get that one?"

"Boonie came up with it. You don't like it? Hey, Boonie ... "

Back in the old days, a pair of fun-loving Texans ruled the Mariners clubhouse. Jay Buhner and Norm Charlton set the tone and agenda, just by the way they positioned the kitty-litter box right in front of their adjacent lockers.

The makeshift spittoon was close at hand so the dynamic duo could spit their tobacco juice with ease, while they schemed new pranks and decided which rookie needed proper hazing.

Now there is a new order.

A tandem of trouble.

Cameron and Boone.

"Yeah, we both like to stir things up, but Mike knows I'm the boss," Boone said.

Maybe, since Boone may be the one Mariner who can out-talk Cameron. One thing you can say with certainty -- Cameron is louder.

Yesterday morning at Mariners camp, a bus drove off with most of the players for a Cactus League game against the Cubs in Mesa.

Ichiro, Edgar Martinez, Boone and Cameron were the headliners given the day off. Their only obligation was to take extra batting practice and lift weights.

Still, the dust from the tires had barely settled when it was abundantly clear Cameron and Boone should never be left to their own devices, especially with Ichiro and Edgar in harm's way.

Ichiro, under the thin cover of clouds, attempted to get in some serious work. The right fielder, whose swing is light years ahead of Boone and Cameron right now, used his final six pitches to launch long fly balls over the right-center fence.

The homers were things of beauty. In the outfield, a few pitchers shagging flies just stood and swayed as they watched.

Cameron and Boone, however, were not exactly impressed.

"It's easy to do in batting practice," they said.

Not that they were doing it.

Cameron was busy fiddling with one of the trainer's walkie-talkies and practicing his golf swing, chipping baseballs into center field with the knob of his bat.

Until Ruben Sierra clocked a homer against the Cubs yesterday, the Mariners were the last team to hit a homer in a game so far this spring -- a power outage that Lou Piniella had started to decry.

Cameron and Boone are coming off career seasons. Boone's 36 homers and 141 RBIs were the most ever by an AL second baseman. Cameron (.267, 25 HRs, 110 RBIs) has only begun to tap his potential. Both want to exceed those numbers this season -- though they weren't exactly lighting up batting-practice pitcher Bryan Price.

"You know what?" Cameron shouted to hitting instructor Gerald Perry, the other adult left to supervise beside Price.

"You're just like Lou. 'When's someone going to hit a damn home run this spring?' I tell you what. Every time I get up to bat, I'm swinging for the fences,"

At that, Cameron drew his bat high over his head, snapped it straight down his back, then thrust his legs into a squat deep enough to impress Jack LaLanne.

"Look at this, Boonie!" Cameron called, swinging so wildly he stumbled out of the cage. For artistic impression, his exaggerated impersonation of Boone's free-swingin' style deserved a 6.0.

It didn't stop there.

When it was Martinez's turn in the cage, the veteran couldn't get through a decent swing -- not with Cameron's distinctive voice ringing out through the desert air.

"I don't need no stinkin' glove! I don't need no stinkin' legs! All I need is my bat, and watch out!"

Martinez flailed through a pitch and twisted like a pretzel, laughing so hard he couldn't stand up.

Boone got on Edgar, too.

"Hey, Poppy. Did you see me yesterday trying to wave you in? You were out (at home) by so much, I was trying to tell you not to bother, just to run into the dugout!"

Martinez said this stuff is important -- even at his expense.

"I laugh at that stuff, because too many things go wrong in a season to be mad about.

"I love it when they joke, keep us loose. You can't be serious all the time. You have to enjoy your time, because we spend too much time in the clubhouse together. They make the clubhouse a fun place."

Boone said it would be a mistake to say he and Cameron are the only two who set the agenda.

"Mike and I are the two loudest, but there are a lot of great guys, and so many great personalities. Dan Wilson is a presence. He's fun and mixes it up. Edgar, he's quiet, but that doesn't mean he's not in the middle of everything. John Olerud is different from me, but he's a presence. Then there's Ichiro. He's perfect, but that doesn't mean he doesn't try and mess with me."

Ichiro grinned at Boone.

"Right, Ichi?" Boone said.

Ichiro nodded.

"See?" Boone said. "It's not just me and Cammy. We all get along. I've never seen anything like it.

"Of course, it's easy to be a good guy when you win 116 games, but we don't need to do that again. We're here to win this division."