Wheelya was what you'd call a 'loner'. All those coven gatherings bored her silly; where was the fun in standing around a boiling pot, muttering inanities? And all that stirring - boy, she'd have ended up with more muscles than you could point a stick at. She also liked dressing in bright colors & only wore black when she donned her leather gear & fishnet stockings to beat the hell out of all those pesky warlocks that never seemed to leave her alone. Even that didn't deter all of them though, & more than a few kept on insisting that she beat them harder & harder. When she stopped, raised her eyebrows & gave a resounding 'NO!' this only seemed to inflame them further. Men! She'd never understand what made them tick.
Wheelya was bored, bored, bored. She'd sat through countless re-runs of 'Bewitched' & reproductions of the Salem Witch Trials, read all the Stephen King, Dean Koontz, & W.P. Blatty books on the local libray shelves. Even the latest H.P. Lovecraft that she'd come across didn't seem to do all that much for her anymore. Nope! She'd have to try some other little diversion to get her out of the doldrums.
Strolling morosely along the shore of the lake, she caught sight of Frawly lazing on his lilypad, idly catching flies. "Okey, dokey.' She thought. 'He'll do for starters.' & proceeded to zap him one. Frawly just nonchalantly gazed back at her.
'Sheesh! Didn't they teach you anything at Wayside Witches' High?' he muttered. You're supposed to lay a big, fat, wet one on me babe, so pucker up there.'
'Yuck!' screeched Wheelya. 'Isn't there some other way of turning you into a dreamy, macho hunk?' Frawly just stared & gave a shrug of his non-existent shoulders.
"If I must, I must I suppose, so cop this lot matey.' she said, & gave him a bit of a begrudged slobber on the tip of his slimy forehead.
Before she could even blink there was a thick cloud of smoke, a loud POOFing sound & there hunched a hulk. Wellllll.... one could hardly call him a hulk in the literal sense. In fact, his hair was an impossible yellow, his mouth too full of teeth which appeared to be fixed in a permanent leer & he had staring, bulging eyeballs.
'Hiya. I'm Hal.' he cheerily announced, artfully leaping from the lilypad & landing in a crouch at her feet.
Wheelya, with her lungs full of smoke, coughed & reeled back in disgust at the mangey, morsel of manhood that she'd created. No way! Not on your Nellie! This wasn't what she had in mind, & immediately lost interest. So, with a withering look, she turned on her spiked heels & departs the scene.& the story.
Hal crouched there for a few minutes before lurching up & realising that he felt a whole lot better in an upright position.
Time passed ................. No one in the realm seemed to be the least bit surprised to discover a stranger suddenly appearing amongst them with no background, no ancestors, no change of clothes..... nothing really! In fact, the ladies all seemed to think he was quite a dish, as did some of the knights. Why, even King Stuffit himself had ruffled Hal's hair saying 'And who's a pretty boy then?' Mind you, it made Hal feel like a right royal parrot, but he was flattered nonetheless..
Speaking of right royal parrots, King Stuffit was considered to be a bit of a polly-wolly-doodle himself. He'd made the gross mistake of issuing his knights of the realm with different coloured plumes & shields because he thought they looked prettier that way. This meant of course, that one knight couldn't recognise another knight so they spent most of their time fighting each other. Along about this time, the phrase 'Once a knight always a knight, but once a night's enough.' was coined. . Most of the people pretended that they hadn't a clue as to its meaning, but there was a lot of sniggering going on for all that. From all this, you must have gathered by now that it was a pretty wacked-up place to live.
Amongst the residents of this kinky kingdom there was one who stood out as being unique. Her name was Maid Moppet, a talented, gorgeous looking chick who was also a virgin - now therein lies the uniqueness! It goes without saying that she was most sought after by everything that walked in tights, this being the fashion of the young men at the time, but Sir.Bigglesdick ,her father, laid down some pretty strict rules as far as courtship was concerned, let alone marriage. A small mention must be made here of Sir.Bigglesdick himself, a widower with strict moral principles as far as his only daughter was concerned, but who had visited most of the beds of the court's dowager ladies. Not any great shakes in the looks department, an ex-patriot Australian it was told ,who was very big 'down under'.
The only stipulation ................
