February 18th
It is Friday once again. It's almost funny, that I hope for Friday during the week, and when it comes, I hope for the week to begin again. It's not that I love school, it's just that the weekends aren't the most happening times for me.
Most people in the dorm that I speak to regularly have gone back to Phoenix, back to their homes and families, and girlfriends. The ones that stay behind do so because they have parties to attend, women to meet and drinks to consume. I'm being presumptuous. But I don't see any of them walking around wondering what to do. That's me.
It's a good thing I came up with the homepage, where I place my thoughts. It keeps me busy, and is a (sort of) relaxing thing for me to do. I intend to go to the Mall this Saturday, but like every other Saturday, the thought of taking the bus, and wasting a day on transport would probably turn me off again.
These few weeks have been cramped with tests and quizzes, and many Wildcats (term for the people of U.A.) walk around with a little stress on their faces. Justin (my neighbour) takes tests very seriously, and to be honest sometimes I worry for him. I guess he's just more goal-oriented than I am.
It's hard not to be. I've done well in the tests I've had till now. I'm afraid of it becoming a game, where people crowd around, watching, waiting for you to drop that ball. The pressure builds up every time you do something good, accumulating to the point you can take it no longer. I do not want to be trapped in that never-ending spiral. I just want to learn, to acknowledge the things I do not yet know, and seek them out. Grades, results, should not contribute to my sense of well-being too much. It's not right to be weighed by your test scores.
It's evening here. Good morning Singapore. I want so much to see the sunshine start to climb over the shadows, and onto the face of my beloved, sprinkling a glitter of magic dust over her eyelashes. The smell of tea, and half-boiled eggs on the table - and I'm home again.
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