February 29th
Wow. It's the 29th of February, and it means the next time I type this out would be four years from now. I came back to my dorm during my one hour lunch break and went to the kitchen downstairs to turn on the television. I never realised how close I had become to Paul Reiser and Helen Hunt. They seem to keep me company every time I eat lunch alone.
I know that after reading many of my journals, it would be quite evident that you'd say "this guy has no friends," or "he needs to get a life". Maybe you are right. I have friends, or rather acquaintances. I do not know if I'd meet the same bunch of people again next semester, let alone after I finish my studies here and head back home. On the other hand, I've known Paul and Jamie Buchman for a really long time. I've seen them quarrel, seen them get back together. In so many ways perfect, yet in so many ways human. I remember falling for the character Jamie at one point in time, like the millions of male viewers who've seen the show.
I received an email from a young lady who visited my homepage. I was so amazed at the level of maturity I found in her short mail. She read my journal on "Childlike, Not Childish" and she wrote about how many people tried to cover up their true feelings but wished for the process of growing up to slow down. In her mail she reminded me of the beauty to be found in the eyes of the young, eyes that hold no grudges, eyes that are totally trusting. I breathe her writings in like fresh air, renewing me from the effects growing up has had on me. Becoming more cynical while calling it pragmatism, becoming more critical while calling it more analytical. Let's not fool ourselves. A lot of us grow up uglier than we first started. To the dear girl who reminded me thus, thank you.
Attitudes are contagious, I found that out yesterday. I played basketball at the recreation center at night, and found that despite my poor level of play thus far, there have been people who have noticed me and wanted me to play with them, saying "he's got skills". I played with them, always bearing in mind that pride came only before a fall, and just played for the love of the game. What seemed like a pretty competitive team I was on, slowly softened and played for the sheer joy of it. We won, but we trod on no one. we lost, and we did not blame one another.
I had a good block on one of the plays, where I sent the shot of the opposing team way out of the court. The people watching screamed with exhilaration at the block with phrases like "he took him to school!" or "he totally dominated him!". It's not about domination over the other, or trying to embarrass anyone. I patted the guy I blocked on the back and said "sorry man". He responded with a smile and said "Good defense". These are the games I want to play, where the basketball remains a basketball, not anything more. We can have a win-win situation even in games, but it is so easy to compete to dominate, to win, and eventually to really lose.
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