SPACE: THE FINAL FRONTIER. THESE ARE THE VOYAGES OF THE WWF TITANPRIZE. IT'S MISSION: TO EXPLORE AND ENTERTAIN NEW SOCIETIES AND NEW CIVILIZATIONS.  TO BOLDLY GO WHERE NO WRESTLER HAS GONE BEFORE!

TITANPRIZE CREW:
Captain Vincent K. McMahon
First Officer, Commander Shane McMahon
Chief Engineer, Commander Stephanie McMahon
Chief of Chiefs, Commander Linda McMahon
Chief of Security, Commander Kane
Chief Medical Officer, Dr. Taker
Communications Officer, Lieutenant Rock
Counselor Al Snow (assisted by H.E.A.D.)
Diagnostics Officer, Ensign Jericho
Tactical Officer, Lieutenant Commander Austin
... And many more!

STARSHIP TITANPRIZE - CAPTAIN'S READY ROOM

     "Captain's log stardate 55.66.77.88. The ship is running on auxiliary power. Minimal life support, minimal lights. We are not sure the cause of our power loss since my daugher, Chief Engineer Stephanie McMahon, is unavailable. She had a hair appointment she couldn’t miss,"

    *snap*

     "Damnit!" Captain McMahon swore as he looked at the broken pencil in his hands, "Damnit, damnit...!!" He threw the pencil in the trash. It landed on top of 5 other similarly broken pencils. "I hate this primitive way of keeping data!" he muttered, cursing the power loss. He angrily crumpled up the piece of paper in front of him. It joined the pencils in the trash bin. "Screw it... no Captain's log today!"

    With that, he headed out onto the bridge.

BRIDGE

     "Ensign Jericho," McMahon commanded, "Have you gone down to Engineering to find out what the cause of this power loss is?!"

     Y2J responded, "Yes, sir.  The Engineering doors are jammed. Whatever happened, no one wanted us to find out.  I can't get into the engineering computer from here either... unless you want me to hack into it."

     "YES! Do it!" the Captain commanded.

     Y2J nodded, and grabbed the ever-present ponytail at the back of his head. He began to pull... and the ponytail seemed to grow. He removed the elastic... and revealed a port plug.

     Captain McMahon looked at him, "...the hell..?!"

     Jericho handed the ponytail plug to his Captain, "Could you please place that into the comm port on the side of the diagnostics station, sir?" he asked.

     McMahon looked at the handful of hair, and the wire leading into Y2J's positronic brain that followed it. He shrugged and quickly inserted the plug into the diagnostics station.

     Y2J jerked slightly as a jolt of power surged through him. He closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them, McMahon could see the whites of Y2J's eyes had been replaced with green binary images.  "Mmm hmmm... very interesting..." Jericho muttered to himself, "Ooooh.... that's weird..."

     "What? What is it?" McMahon asked desperately.

     Jericho looked at McMahon, "The latest GTV! It's picked up Admiral Mae Young and Lieutenant Mark Henry doing some weird---"

     "Ensign Jericho!" McMahon interrupted impatiently, "ENGINEERING! What is happening in ENGINEERING?!"

     "OH! Yes, sir!" Jericho replied. He closed his eyes again, and re-opened them. New computer readouts replaced the binary images, "Your problem lies in the power belt, sir..."

     "What's wrong with the power belt? It's state of the art!"  McMahon said.

     "I know. The problem is that your power belt is... GONE... sir!"

ENGINEERING

     Lieutenant Henry, finished with Admiral Young for the moment, attempted to pry the Engineering doors open with his bare hands. It wasn't working. Even Y2J's attempts to override the controls didn't help.

     "Move aside, Mr. Harry..." Y2J said, and pushed Lieutenant Henry away. Y2J went up to the doors, and pried them apart by himself.

     Henry looked at him, "How did you---?"

     "Not now, Lieutenant Harry.." Jericho interrupted, "Let's get inside!" Y2 J said as he quickly went up to where the power belt SHOULD have been. "Yup... it's still gone..." .

     "Thank you for pointing out the obvious, Ensign! But... WHO took it?" The Captain asked.

     "Damned if I know... sir...." Jericho replied, then furrowed his brow, "One moment... hmmm..." he looked over the area, "There are fingerprints here. I'll run them through my database.."

     McMahon looked at where Jericho had claimed to see the fingerprints, "There's nothing there..."

    "No. They're not noticeable to the naked eye...." Jericho began.

     "Naked!" Lieutenant Henry replied, and quickly excused himself. He needed to find Admiral Young again.

     Jericho watched him go, and shook his head, "Scary. Very scary..." he muttered, then turned back to the task at hand.  "Anyway, Captain...  I can see what most humans can't, including fingerprints." He used his internal sensors to scan the area, and went through his database of all those on board the Titanprize at the time of the power loss. "Sir, my database indicates these are the fingerprints of the waiter, Triple H!"

     "Triple H? DAMNIT!" McMahon swore, "but we didn’t give him any access!"

     "Where is your daughter, sir?" Jericho asked, his suspicions aroused.

    "She’s getting her hair done! Why does that matter? She has nothing to do with Triple H! Damn that DX! Damn them to hell!"

    McMahon then proceeded to cut a 5 minute promo about how he planned to screw DX.

     Ensign Jericho interrupted him, "Ok sir... if you can't at least be entertaining, then shut the hell up!"

     Captain McMahon turned back to Ensign Jericho, angered by the rude dismissal of  his promo. He decided he would punish Y2J later by putting him in a long and boring feud with one of the female waiters at the Smackdown.

     Right now, however, the Captain needed the arrogant Y2J Unit to fix the problem that lay before them,  "Fine, Ensign Jericho... what can we do? The auxiliary power won't last more then another two hours!"

     "We need a temporary power source. Do you have any extra gold aboard this ship? Something similar to the power belt?"

     "I don't... but I know someone who may!!" McMahon replied.

BRIDGE

     "Mr. Rock!" Captain McMahon started as he entered the bridge. "We need an alternate power source, and your gold watch is the first thing I thought of!"

     "WHAT?" Mr. Rock replied as he spun to face Captain McMahon, "You want to take The Rock's $2000 Rolex watch and use it as a power source?"

     "That's what I said, yes..."

     "But this is The Rock's $2000 Rolex watch!" he repeated, "The Rock isn't simply going to hand it over to a roody-poo like yourself..." he paused, and added, "Sir..."

     "If you don't, Mr. Rock, we will all die when life support fails in two hours!" McMahon replied.

     "Actually, 1 hour, 57 minutes, and 20 seconds..." Y2J corrected, "1 hour, 57 minutes, and 19 seconds... 1 hour, 57 minutes, and--"

    "THANK you, Ensign Jericho!" McMahon interrupted.

    "I still think you should look for your daughter, Captain," Jericho said, "I saw her in the Smackdown the other day speaking to Triple H...."

    "Quiet, Jericho!" McMahon snapped, "Now, Mr. Rock... your watch please..."

     Lieutenant Rock paid no attention. He turned his back to the Captain, and stuck his nose in the air, crossing his arms. His eyes were unreadable behind his shiny black sunglasses (which he wore despite the fact it was against ship dress code).

     "Sir," Ensign Jericho began, "I think I know where else we can find gold..."

     "Ensign Angle, we need your help," Captain McMahon started as he sat in the couch across from his newest crewman.

     "Captain, may I say it is an honor that a man such as yourself recognizes the talents of an Olympic gold medalist such as myself!" Ensign Angle began.

     "Actually... speaking of gold..." Captain McMahon started, a sneaky smile appearing on his lips.

ENGINEERING

     "Nooooo... give them back! GIVE THEM BAAAAACK!!" Ensign Angle shouted. "My gold medals! How DARE you do this to an Olympic champion?! How DARE YOU!!"

     Ensign Angle's screams faded down the corridor as he was dragged away from engineering by the Chief of Security, Commander Kane.

     Y2J quickly placed Ensign Angle's gold in the power core, "That should work for a few days. At least until we can get to the next Starbase and get another power belt. Unfortunately, lights, life support, and computer use will still be minimal..." Y2J explained, then sighed, "Who's bright idea was it to use a gold Heavyweight title belt as a power source anyway?"

     Captain McMahon shrugged, "Why not? It's not useful for anything else anymore,"

     Ensign Jericho shook his head in dismay.

THE SMACKDOWN - the next day

     Terri poured Ensign Jericho's 8th Synthehol of the night, "You can really hold your liquor!" she said.

     Ensign Jericho shrugged his shoulders, "Synthehol doesn't affect me the way it affects humans,"

     Terri nodded appreciatively, "So I've noticed... but then why do you drink it?"

     "I'm trying to imitate human behavior and practices. I've noticed a lot of the crew drink synthehol constantly,"

     "If you want to truly imitate human behavior, you should pass out drunk. A lot of the crew do that too." Terri replied with a smile.

    "Have you seen your waiter, Triple H, lately, Terri? Or Commander Stephanie McMahon?"

    Terri thought for a moment, "Now that you mention it, I DID see them the other day. They seemed a bit cozy,"

    "I'm a bit suspicious about Triple H and the Chief Engineer... but Security Lieutenants Farooq and Bradshaw gave both a thorough interrogation and could find nothing. Not even the missing power belt! The Commander swore her loyalty to WrestleFleet, and your waiter, Trip, seemed to have an alibi for the time the belt went missing."

    The Catarian, Kitty, quickly came up to the bar, interrupting the conversation. "Terri... it's cooooold in here!! Can't you turn the heat up or something?"

     "Life support is minimal," Ensign Jericho explained, "It will be cold for a few days until we can get a new power belt."

     "But.. then that means I'd have to wear underwear!" she whined, then looked at Y2J and offered him a sly smile, "Unless YOU can keep me warm,"

     Ensign Jericho raised an eyebrow, "I don't think so, no..." he replied.

     "But... aren't you going to be cold too?

     "My body temperature never changes. I'm always comfortable," he explained.

     "Well then..." Kitty began, "Can you keep ME comfortable?" she asked.

     Y2J looked across the Smackdown, and noticed The Rock, now off duty,  "Look... Lieutenant Rock is sweating, Kitty. Why don't you ask him to keep you warm!"

     "Mr. Rock is just trying to come up with new catch phrases, that's why he's sweating! He doesn't want to be disturbed!" Kitty replied, then added, "And call me The Kat!"

     "Yeah, whatever, Kitty..." Y2J replied, not really listening to her as he became fascinated with a couple on the other side of the bar keeping each other VERY warm.

     "I said CALL ME THE KAT!"

     Jericho looked at her, "Sorry... did you say something, Kitty?"

     "ARGH!!" Kitty -- The KAT -- screeched angrily, then spun on her heel and walked away.

     "What's her problem?" Y2J asked.

     "She was flirting with you. You totally rejected her," Terri explained.

     "Hmpf! I'd much rather flirt with the ship's computer," he replied, and chugged down another glass of synthehol as the Titanprize made it's way to Starbase 876 to pick up a new power belt.