SEASON TWO

EPISODE 3: KITTY'S REVENGE

By: Elektra

 SPACE: THE FINAL FRONTIER. THESE ARE THE VOYAGES OF THE WWF TITANPRIZE. IT'S MISSION: TO EXPLORE AND ENTERTAIN NEW SOCIETIES AND NEW CIVILIZATIONS.  TO BOLDLY GO WHERE NO WRESTLER HAS GONE BEFORE!

 TITANPRIZE CREW:
Captain Vincent K. McMahon
First Officer, Commander Shane McMahon
Chief Engineer, Commander Stephanie McMahon
Chief of Chiefs, Commander Linda McMahon
Chief of Security, Commander Kane
Chief Medical Officer, Dr. Taker
Communications Officer, Lieutenant Rock
Counselor Al Snow (assisted by H.E.A.D.)
Diagnostics Officer, Ensign Jericho
Tactical Officer, Lieutenant Commander Austin
... And many more!
 
 

STARSHIP TITANPRIZE - CAPTAIN'S READY ROOM

   "Captain's log, stardate 5265482.22. We've entered a dark cloud nebula. So many derelict ships float lifeless here. They look battleworn, and very old. Counselor Snow claims that H.E.A.D. senses unhappy spirits here. I'm starting to wonder if chosing Mr. Snow as ship's counselor was a mistake..." McMahon paused, "Computer, strike that last sentence from the log..." The computer beeped and complied.

  Captain McMahon left the room and headed to his usual post.

TITANPRIZE - THE SMACKDOWN

    Kitty watched as Ensign Jericho and Chyna talked at the bar. They had become friends in the last month or so. The Y2J Unit actually began to TRUST her, and suggested to the Captain that she could be useful on away missions. McMahon reluctantly agreed, but wasn't about to let the ex-rebel carry anything more then a stunner.

    Kitty frowned, and headed to the bar. She walked up beside Ensign Jericho, but spoke to Terri, "Cappuchino for table three..." she said.

    Terri went to the replicator and returned with the cappuchino, "Here you go, Kitty..." she said, "Be careful, it's hot," she handed the mug to Kitty.

    Kitty grabbed it and let out a surprised shout as the hot mug slipped through her fingers, and spilled down the front of Ensign Jericho's Uniform.

    Ensign Jericho let out a loud scream, and ripped off the top of his WrestleFleet uniform, "THAT BURNS, JERKETTE!" he shouted.

    Kitty looked at him, and for a moment he could have sworn her eyes were glowing. She smiled a cold smile, "Oh really...?" she said, then walked away.

    The Y2J Unit watched her, eyes narrowed, "Hmpf!" He threw his shirt angrily on the floor, "She could have at least apologized for ruining my uniform!!"

    Terri quickly came around the bar and began to wipe the coffee off Ensign Jericho's pants, "Sorry about that, Chris," she sighed, and looked at Kitty. Kitty seemed to be watching Jericho's discomfort with a smile. Terri shook her head, "She's been acting weird these last few days. I don't know what's wrong with her..."

    "Uh... Terri..." Jericho started, "Not to seem rude, but wouldn't it be better to wipe my pants off with a NAPKIN instead of your hands??"

    Terri looked up at him, and smiled, "Probably... but not nearly as much fun!"

    Kitty paced her quarters. Yes, normally she was a klutz, but the incident with the Y2J Unit was more then klutzyness. She had ENJOYED pouring hot coffee on him. Normally, she wasn't so spiteful... but she was really bothered about Chyna dumping her friendship to become buddies with a robot. Ok, so he was a fine-looking robot, but what did it matter? Friends were supposed to be forever!

    Kitty fumed. Damn that Y2J Unit! The android would pay for taking Kitty's friend from her! He would pay dearly!

    "Captain McMahon, H.E.A.D. is sensing a lot of energy coming from one of the ships in the nebula. The energy seems to be surrounding our ship!" Counselor Snow began.

    McMahon turned to the Ensign studying the sensors, "Mr. Christian? What are the sensors reading?"

    Ensign Christian studied his readouts, "Nothing here, dude..."

    McMahon turned back to Mr. Snow, "Perhaps you should have your H.E.A.D. checked, Counselor..."

    "But sir, you don't seem to understand! It's not physical energy!" Counselor Snow explained, "It's psychic energy!"

    "Make that an ORDER then, Mr. Snow. Have your H.E.A.D. examined! NOW!"

    Counselor Snow sighed, "Yes, sir..." he replied, and headed off to sickbay.

TITANPRIZE CORRIDORS

    Y2J made his way to Sickbay at Counselor Snow's request. Something about running a full diagnostics on H.E.A.D. Luckily, Y2J had been able to replicate a new uniform since the coffee incident a few hours ago.

    "Ensign Jericho?" a voice called behind him.

    Ensign Jericho slowly turned around to come face to face with Kitty. He quickly took a few steps back, "What... do you want to ruin THIS uniform too?" he asked, eyeing her suspiciously.

    "No no!" Kitty began, "I want to apologize!"

    He looked at her, brow furrowed, "Apologize?"

    Kitty nodded, her cat-green eyes looking sad, "I'm such a klutz. I'm soooo sorry..." she began to sniffle, "I can't do ANYTHING right..." she started, then began to cry.

    Ensign Jericho was taken aback, "Hey...!!! Stop crying! It's ok!! I forgive you...!"

    Kitty let out a cat-like wail, "I'm sorry!!" She cried loudly, "I didn't mean to ruin your uniform!! PLEASE don't be mad at me!!" She threw her arms around the Y2J Unit, still wailing loudly.

    Ensign Edge was passing by when he saw the Y2J Unit and Kitty. He stopped and glared at Ensign Jericho accusingly, "What the heck did you do to Kitty, man?" he asked. Surely the Y2J Unit had done SOMETHING to cause the normally quiet Catarian to bawl her eyes out.

    "Nothing! I swear! I didn't do ANYTHING to her!"

    "PLEASE don't hurt me!!" she cried, wrapping her tail around his legs.

    "I'm not mad at you!! Let go!!!" The Y2J Unit shouted.

    She clamped on tighter, digging her claws into his back. Jericho winced as the claws pierced his synthetic skin.

    Yes, he could feel pain.

    "HEY! What are you doing to my woman?!" A voice snapped. Jericho looked to see the dignitary from Planet Memphis, King Lawler, glaring at him... looking extremely angry as he stood by Ensign Edge, "Get your hands off her!"

    Ensign Jericho held his arms out from his sides, "I'm not TOUCHING her!! She grabbed ME!!"

    Ensign Angle, and Ensign Godfather were making their way down the corridor when they noticed the scene. They stopped and stood with Ensign Edge and King Lawler.

    "How DARE you grab a pretty lady and make her cry!!" Ensign Godfather started. "If you wanted a woman that badly, you could have come to me! I got plenty I could loan to you! You didn't have to throw yourself on an innocent woman!"

    "But... I didn't throw myself at ANYONE! She started bawling her eyes out, then GRABBED me!" Ensign Jericho tried to explain.

    "I never knew androids could be such perverts!" Ensign Angle spoke up.

    "Damn, boy! You got some SERIOUS problems!!" Ensign Godfather said as he looked disapporvingly at Unit Y2J.

    Jericho turned his attention back to Kitty, and grabbed her shoulders, trying to push the Catarian away, "Leave me alone!!"

    "Oh.... so first you take advantage of MY Kitty, then you try to get rid of her?!!?" King Lawler shouted. He turned to the others, and they all seemed to be thinking the same thing.

    Kitty took this moment to unhook her claws from Jericho's uniform, and smiled. She quickly stepped away from the perplexed Y2J Unit.

    Ensigns Edge, Angle, and Godfather quickly attacked Jericho, punching and kicking, as King Lawler comforted his girlfriend.

    The Y2J Unit was going to need some serious repairs after this!

    Ensign Jericho entered Sickbay looking a mess. His synthetic skin was partially peeled off his face, and his detached left arm was in his right hand.

    Dr. Taker took in the Y2J Unit's appearance, "What the hell happened to you, boy?"

    Ensign Jericho looked at him, "MISS KITTY HAPPENED TO ME!!" he shouted in frustration.

    Dr. Taker raised an eybrow, but didn't reply as he nodded towards the diagnostics bed. Jericho quickly jumped up on it, and held out his detached arm to Dr. Taker.

    "Woah! Chris! What happened?" Counselor Snow said as he entered sickbay with H.E.A.D.

    Ensign Jericho just sat quietly and fumed.

    After half-an-hour, the Y2J Unit was repaired and looked good as new. He jumped off the diagnostics bed and went over to Counsellor Snow, "So... you're having problems with your H.E.A.D.?" he asked.

    "Well, I don't think there's anything wrong, but the Captain does," Mr. Snow replied.

    "Mind if I hack into it? I won't wreck it or anything..."

    "Yes... but just be careful... it's H.E.A.D'S first time..."

    Y2J looked at Counsellor Snow, "Riiiiight," He replied, then pulled out the back of his pony tail, pluging the end into H.E.A.D. "Hmm... scanning... scanning... OH! This is interesting!"

    "What?" Mr. Snow asked.

    Y2J turned to the nearest monitor and started to call up external sensors, "Hmmm.. H.E.A.D. is sensing high energy coming from the dead ships surrounding us. I'm re-calibrating the sensors..." he punched a few buttons, and studied the sensors again, "Ah ha! Well, this explains everything!"

    "What...?? WHAT?" Mr. Snow asked.

    "There is an unidentified anomoly surrounding our ship! It's penetrated the hull, and surrounded Miss Kitty with negative energy!! No WONDER she's been acting so weird!"

    "Sounds like you have a poltergiest on the ship, boy!" Jericho and Snow both jumped as Dr. Taker came up behind them, his gravelly voice echoing in the quiet sickbay.

    "So... any idea how to get rid of it? I mean, what with you being the resident dead guy, I figured you'd know about this kind of stuff..."

    "Maybe..." Dr. Taker replied.

    "I HOPE so! I don't think my system could handle another massive beat down like that so soon!"  Ensign Jericho replied, then tapped his comm badge, "Computer, locate kitty..."

    "Kitty is currently in The Smackdown.." the computer voice replied.

    "Then that's where we're going..." Y2J said to Snow and Taker. The three headed out.

    Dr. Taker, Ensign Jericho, and Counselor Snow entered The Smackdown. The crew members assembled there took one look at Dr. Taker... and ran out.

    The Smackdown was now empty, save for Jericho, Taker, Snow, Terri, Kitty, and Chyna... the latter two seemingly perplexed at the sudden emptiness of the tables they were serving.

    Terri came up to the three men, "Hey, Mr. Tall dark and scary! You're chasing away my customers!" she said, looking up at Dr. Taker. Dr. Taker glared at Terri. She shook her head and sighed, heading back to the bar.

    Jericho quickly went up to Chyna, "I need your help..." he started, watching Kitty carefully.

    Chyna put down her tray and looked up at him, "What is it?"

    He motioned for her to lean towards him. She did so. He then whispered the current situation in her ear, not wanting Kitty to know they were on to her. Chyna's eyes went wide... then she nodded.

    "Kitty..." Chyna started.

    Kitty looked at her, her green eyes shining happily, "Yes, Chyna?"

    "Come here for a sec..."

    Kitty quickly complied.

    When Kitty was close enough, Chyna quickly grabbed her, "OK! GOT HER! Do what you have to do!!"

    Kitty struggled, "What are you doing?! LET ME GO!"

    "No!" Chyna replied.

    Kitty stopped struggling, and began to sniffle, "You're just like Tina..."

    Chyna looked at her, brow furrowed, "Who?"

    "Tina left me behind for a GUY! She forgot about her loyal friend! She left me alone!!"

    "Who is Tina? Answer me, Kitty!" Chyna demanded.

    "My name isn't Kitty!! It's Farm!"

    Dr. Taker nodded, "Definite poltergiest..."

    "Thank's for pointing out the obvious, dead man!" Jericho muttered.

    Dr. Taker spun to face him, "You dare speak to the lord of medicine that way, boy?!"

    Jericho took a step back, and cleared his throat. Perhaps annoying the good doctor was NOT the best idea he ever had.

    Y2J quickly shook his head, and went up to Kitty, "Whoever you are, shut the hell up and go away!"

    Kitty glared up at him, eyes glowing, "I am Lieutenant Farm Daughter, a Catarian currently serving aboard WrestleFleet ship G.L.O.W!"

    "Computer, Locate WrestleFleet ship G.L.O.W!" Jericho said.

    "WrestleFleet ship G.L.O.W. is at coordinates 9.0, 8.6," the computer replied.

    "Those are OUR coordinates!" Y2J gasped, then went up to one of the Windows in The Smackdown. He looked out, "THERE it is!!" he turned back to Kitty -- Farm -- "The Starship G.L.O.W is DEAD!! So are the careers of all who were on it..." Jericho shook his head, "I'm sorry, Lieutenant Daughter... but, you have no right to be here!"

    "I have EVERY right! You're trying to take my friend away again!" Kitty cried, using Daughter's voice.

    "If anyone is taking anyone away, it's YOU! YOU are taking Kitty away by possessing her!" Y2J replied, "And... although I find Kitty extremely annoying, at least she never tried to get me killed by my fellow crewmen!"

    Kitty frowned, "I'm staying!"

    Suddenly, Dr. Taker came up to Kitty, and put a hand on her forehead. He began to chant soemething in another language.

    Kitty frowned, "What are you doing?" she asked.

    "Exercising a ghost..." the grim doctor replied.

    Soon, Kitty fell to her knees and screamed, "No!! I don't want to go!!"

    A white light escaped from Kitty's body, and the Catarian collapsed to the ground.

    There was silence.

    Y2J turned to Dr. Taker, breaking the silence, "Why didn't you do that when we FIRST came in here?!"

    "Do not question the lord of medicine, boy!" he replied, then left.

    Jericho watched Dr. Taker leave, and shook his head. He then turned to Snow, "So... what does H.E.A.D. have to say about the ghost...?"

    "H.E.A.D. says it's gone..." he replied.

    "Good! Now maybe things can get back to normal...!" Y2J replied.

    Kitty slowly stood up, holding her head, "What happened?"

    "It's a long story," Chyna replied, then handed Kitty the tray she had left on the table earlier, "Here. Put this away and I'll tell you all about it..."

    The Y2J Unit turned his back to the two ladies, and went to sit with his back against Terri’s bar. Kitty took the tray and followed. She placed the tray on the bar top, and turned to Ensign Jericho, "I'm sorry for everything! I can make it up to you..."

    "No No!" Y2J quickly said, "It's fine!! It's ok!"

    "But I WANT to!" She said, hitting her hand on the bar for emphasis... and knocking over the dirty tray.

    The Y2J Unit let out a high-pitched screech as ice cubes from a half-finished synthehol, cold coffee, and even colder ice cream dripped down the back of his uniform. "AGH!! NOT AGAIN!!" He shouted as he quickly pulled off his icy wet tunic, throwing it on the floor.

    The Y2J Unit fumed as he spun on his heel and made his way back to his quarters. He would have to replicate himself a new uniform again.

    Maybe next time he decided to visit the Smackdown, he would see if Kitty was on-duty first.