SEASON FOUR

EPISODE 7: CONTAGION

By: X-C

SPACE: THE FINAL FRONTIER. THESE ARE THE VOYAGES OF THE WWF TITANPRIZE. IT'S MISSION: TO EXPLORE AND ENTERTAIN NEW SOCIETIES AND NEW CIVILIZATIONS.  TO BOLDLY GO WHERE NO WRESTLER HAS GONE BEFORE!

TITANPRIZE CREW:
Captain Vincent K. McMahon
First Officer, Commander Shane McMahon
Chief Engineer, Commander Stephanie McMahon
Chief of Chiefs, Commander Linda McMahon
Chief of Security, Commander Kane
Chief Medical Officer, Dr. Taker
Communications Officer, Lieutenant Rock
Counselor Al Snow (assisted by H.E.A.D.)
Diagnostics Officer, Lieutenant Commander Jericho
Tactical Officer, Lieutenant Commander Austin
Transporter Chief, Lieutenant Commander Debra McMichael
... And many more!
 

WWF TITANPRIZE-CAPTAIN'S READY ROOM

    "Captain's Log, Stardate 061255.00. It's promotion time on the Titanprize again, but this year I have decided to let my daughter, Commander Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley, put the ensigns through their paces. Only one can win the title of Lieutenant, and I have perfect faith in her abilities to make the right choice. "

    Captain McMahon closed his log book and rested his feet on his desk. How nice, he thought, to be free of such personnel headaches. Ambition on his ship tended to have very ugly results, though he was certain his darling little angel could manage it.

She was, after all, a McMahon.

ENGINEERING

    "Chief Engineer's Log, Stardate 06155.00. Daddy has placed little ol' me in charge of this year's special promotion. That means I have the very career, the very fate of some lowlife, snivelling ensign in my hands!"

    Stephanie laughed wickedly. "Oh my, so many noses are going to be brown after this week. That is, they better be brown if someone wants to get somewhere on this ship!"

    Stephanie's eyes danced at the mere thought of all the worshipping the ensigns would have to perform in order to impress her. She started as someone cleared his throat behind her.

    "Lieutenant Commander Jericho? Frog in your throat? If so, I hope it's a poisonous Aerialian toad."

    "Knowing you, you'd want to kiss it to see if it turned into a prince." Lt. Commander Jericho said dryly.

    "Can I help you?" Stephanie demanded. She was not in the mood to be around Jericho... ever. Now that he knew all her secrets...

    "Your father had a very wise change of heart." the Y2J Unit wore his smirk well. "He requested that I assist you with this year's testing of the ensigns. As an android, I'd be 100% objective."

    "Objective my-" Stephanie swore softly as an alarm sounded at her engineering station. "Damn you Shane!"

    "A McMahon mistake?" Lt Cmdr Jericho arched an eyebrow. "How utterly rare."

    "Shove off slimebot." Stephanie's eyes were fixed on a fluctuating line that zig-zagged across her monitor. "Shane was supposed to fix the corruption in the bridge navigational sub-routines by sending a retro-virus in, the big dummy."

    "And?"

    "And," Stephanie said impatiently. "His little giant killer virus is messing up the diagnostic ports inside of the engineering mainframe! Honestly, for a 'droid, you're totally slow on the uptake."

    "And what you know could be shoved inside a common...trashbag." Jericho spat, nudging Stephanie out of the way and running his fingers over the engineering pad.

    "You-you shoved me!" Stephanie gasped, pushing him back and punching in an anti-virus code into the computer.

    "Stop pushing me, you spoiled brat!" Jericho gave Stephanie a hard tap on the shoulder, his android strength knocking her on her behind. He hastily halted the progress of Shane's wacky little computer menace.

    "I think the warp core needs a diagnostic run on it." Stephanie brushed her uniform off, eyes hard, muscles quivering with barely concealed rage as she struggled to maintain her temper in front of the crew. Jericho would pay for that. Perhaps she would talk to Daddy about having the engineering crew switch to those pink uniforms she so adored....

    "I'm on it hotlips." Jericho winked at her, his mechanical heart full of malice as he approached the warp core.  Secretly, he was relieved that Stephanie was back to her loathesome, shallow self, so that he could return to thinking of her as.....well...the devil. During his recent rescue mission to an evil alien world, he had actually started to ugh respect the little wench, but thank the stars that was over!

    Hotlips? Oh yes. Jericho was going to pay and pay dearly!

THE SMACKDOWN

    "I just know I am going to be your next Wrestlefleet Lieutenant! It's true, it's true!" Ensign Angle beamed at his fellow ensigns.

    Nobody at his table beamed back. Ensign Lita couldn't believe she had just heard the arrogant young American order non-alcoholic synthehol. He was really such a prissy, virtuous, self-righteous-

    "I don't know." Ensign Christian was studying his reflection in his synthehol glass. He adjusted a golden lock of hair. "You soooo don't have any common sense."

    "Don't get us wrong." his brother, Ensign Edge was quick to add. "You'd make a totally cool Communications officer."

    "I do have the intensity, intelligence, and integrity for it." Ensign Angle agreed.

    "Yeah, but you always defend Commander McMahon-Helmsley's...uhhhh.....honor," Christian was barely able to get the words out without laughing.

    The entire table exploded with laughter.  Ensign Jeff nearly choked on his Aerialian cocktail. Ensign Angle looked vaguely confused.

    "With all due respect, fellow ensign, you're going to face some stiff competition from my brother and I," Ensign Edge said. "We think that all species from all reaches of the galaxy will seek out the Titanprize when they realize they can look at our beautiful faces on their viewscreen."

    "We have some first contact poses all ready to show Lt. Rock." Ensign Christian said proudly. "Care for a 5 second preview?"

    "Er, maybe later." Ensign Lita frowned. "I know I don't have a snowball's chance in hell of earning an engineering promotion. I think Stephie accessed my personal logs last night and heard the part about my dream of becoming Chief Engineer. She already hates my guts, and now she'll feel threatened."

    "She invaded your privacy like that?" Ensign Jeff was indignant. "She had no right!"

    "She is a Commander, Jeff." Lita sighed and shook her head. "She can override the lock on all our personal logs."

    "Don't worry, Lita." Ensign Jeff assured her. "Lt Commander Jericho has some influence over the decision and he's always had praise for your work."

    "Forget it Jeff." Lita sometimes found her fellow Aerialian a touch naive. "The thing about Jericho and Commander McMahon.....never mind, it's over your guys' heads."

    Ensign Matt frowned. He was really starting to dislike the way Ensign Lita treated his kid brother, who was so clearly smitten with her.

    "I hear that now Ensign Crash is in one piece again and has discovered a bold streak, he's in the running for a career boost as well." Tori said casually, as she set a round of Aerialian ales in front of the ensigns. It was hard to hide her glee, watching Lita sip from the glass she had just spit in.

    "Thank-you." Lita's voice was as chilly as her drink. "The next time I want gossip about crucial Wrestlefleet happenings, I'll make sure to ask a lowly waitress."

    Tori just smiled pleasantly as she moved onto Lt. Commander Austin's table, with three earth-style beers for him and Lieutenants Farooq and Bradshaw. She'd just mention that little crack from Ensign Lita to Stephanie....

THE BRIDGE-COMMUNICATIONS

    "The Rock Says....pretend the Titanprize is being hailed by some steaming, stinking pile of alien monkey crap! On the double jabronis!"

    Ensign Edge stepped up to the Communications station and smoothed out his hair as he faced the viewscreen. When he spoke, his voice, was deep, rich, and damn near theatrical. "Greetings, fellow space travellers! This is Lt. Edge of the Wrestlefleet Starship Titanprize, and I would like to welcome you to this sector of space with a special Wrestlefleet pose."

    Lt  Rock didn't hesitate to slap the ensign across his smiling face. "You come to the Rock's station and you run your mouth like a damn jabroni? Get the hell off this bridge before I slap the rest of the taste out of your mouth!"

    Ensign Edge sulked his way off the bridge.

    "Ensign Christian, let's hear what your candy ass has to say."

    Ensign Christian seemed sulky as well. "Lt  Rock! That was SO not right! You know, as they say in the business, that promo was a little stale! And as they also like to say, tired little catchphrases have no place in Wrestlefleet!"

    "And your monkey ass has no place on this bridge!" Lt  Rock exploded. "Your career in Communications has just hit rock bottom! Ensign Angle?" He whirled around to face the eager young man. "Just bring it!"

    "Of course, Lt  Rock." Ensign Angle said. "Aliens-this is your Wrestlefleet hero, Lt Angle! Hopefully, you possess intensity, integrity, and intelligence, otherwise, we will be forced to use photon torpedos on your inferior, morally deficient vessel. And that is true!"

    "Impressive Ensign....." Lt  Rock paused. "The Rock is sorry. He appears to be having a brain freeze. What was your name again?"

    "Ensign-"

    "IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS!" Lt  Rock had reached his boiling point. "Now get the hell off this bridge and don't ever, and the Rock means ever, show that ugly face of yours on it again!"

    He never did like Ensign Angle. For some reason the stupid kid was always singing the praises of that cheap, two credit slut down in engineering....

HOLODECK 7

    "Ensigns, you are here to demonstrate that you have the fighting and combat skills necessary to crack Wrestlefleet's Lieutenant rank." Stephanie made a grand, sweeping gesture with her hands as she walked back and forth past the row of young wanna-be's, including three Aerialians she strongly disliked. One had big pipe dreams about becoming head engineer, and it would be a cold day on Mercury before Lita stole Stephanie's power....

    "As you can all see, Commander Kane from security is here to watch the battles." Lt Commander Jericho stated the obvious. It was hard to miss the imposing figure in the red and black uniform that loomed above them all. "Who knows?" The Y2J Unit had a disarming smile. "Maybe one of you youngsters will get a promotion to his team."

    Ensigns Matt and Jeff exchanged hopeful glances. Being on Kane's team also meant being asked to participate in secret intelligence operations for Wrestlefleet. The near-silent commander's exploits in Wrestlefleet Intelligence were the stuff of legends, and the risk-loving Aerialians hoped to have the chance to put it all on the line for some daring mission.

    "Let's see...." Stephanie's eyes travelled down the line. She smiled warmly at Ensigns Edge and Christian. "Would you two boys like to demonstrate your fighting prowess for me?"

    "We would sooo love to Commander McMahon." Ensign Christian replied. "But first, we'd like to show off some defensive poses we've been working on that could revolutionize Wrestlefleet hand to hand combat technique."

    The blonde Ensigns struck several exaggerated karate-style poses. Ensign Angle seemed sufficiently awed by their skills and began to mimic the defensive posturing. Commander Kane stepped forward and with a few lightning-quick movements, left the three with bloody noses.

    "Useless." Kane muttered.

    Commander McMahon muttered under her breath with frustration. Did they have to act like such dopes? By no means did she want to be left with those two dorky Aerialian brothers, Matt and Jeff, to choose from when it came decision time. And Lita was already out of the picture. "I guess I'll set the scene for a real test of skills then."

    Stephanie went to the Holodeck's touchpad and manually punched in her own special program for this very moment. It was a holographic representation of Aerialia's version of hell, a place of nightmares and fire that she had planned for just such an occassion. She held back a smug smile as she watched the uneasy expressions start to form on the young ensign's faces. Lt Commander Jericho eyed her quizically but remained mercifully silent.

    "Ensign Lita?" Stephanie's tone was pure sugar. "Ensign Jeff? If you would, please?"

    "You want us to fight each other?" Ensign Jeff's was blinking rapidly, reminding himself that the black sky and scenery and rivers of liquid fire were a mere illusion. He wondered if Commander McMahon would be so callous as to turn the safeties off, but quickly banished the disloyal thought.

    "Uh-huh." Stephanie nodded.

    "Perhaps Matt would be a better opponent-"

    Ensign Jeff was clearly not prepared for the swift kick that nearly caved in his chest. Lita was taking advantage of his shock and had a handful of his rainbow-colored hair gripped in her fingers, her expression was as grim as their fake surroundings. Ensign Matt sighed and shook his head, watching Lita as she impressively flipped his brother around in mid-air with a dazzling Aerialian fighting maneuver. Jeff could be such a fool....

    Stephanie could hardly stifle the giggle that was building in her throat. Having ringside seats to Ensign Lita smacking Ensign Jeff silly, knowing about his putrid little infatuation-it was just so...so exciting!

    "You're a cold little witch, you know that don't you?" Lt Commander Jericho apparently didn't enjoy her little puppet show.

    "Anything to further the cause of young love." Stephanie replied, her grin wicked, her fingers twitching over the touchpad again.

    The two Aerialians fell to the ground with a painful thud as the gravity inside the holodeck went into severe flux.

    This time, Stephanie laughed freely.

DECK 4

    "Ensign Crash, reporting for duty sir."

    "One minute please." The newly promoted Lt. Benoit  spoke from behind a cage containing Tarielite Dragons, a particularly nasty brand of fire-breathing, aggressive wildlife.

    The young Houdianian glanced around at the numerous cages in Interstellar Zoology, where an exasperated Dr Taker had sent him after his fumble fingers had caused an injured ensign more pain than necessary. Before his excursion to Sickbay, Lt  Rock had declared him too friendly to be in Communications, with the order to go lick a monkey's nipple. Commander Kane had appreciated his amazing speed and escape skills, but felt his small size might have been a disadvantage against larger aliens. Captain McMahon finally had sent him to the research deck.

    "You're a more action-oriented type of ensign." Lt Benoit did not waste time with a friendly greeting. "You might not enjoy the methodical strategies we employ here. It's a very technical job."

    "Sir, I'm eager to learn, and I have a soft spot for animals." Ensign Crash assured him.

    "Such as the waitress species?" Lt Benoit did not crack a grin.

    What? Ensign Crash's face felt flaming hot. Was he referring to Miss Chyna? He didn't have a crush on her, merely respected the strong, capable, beautiful waitress. And how could Lt Benoit know anything about anything that went on in the Smackdown? The only thing Ensign Crash knew about Benoit was that he was icy, had been promoted due to being a favorite of the Captain, and was too darn anti-social to even visit The Smackdown!

    "Your duties are simple!" Apparently Lt. Benoit's moment of levity had passed. "You will do the legwork on my sea life experiment. The directions are on this padd."

    Ensign Crash expelled air as the pad was shoved stiffly into his chest.

    "If you mess anything up, I will choke you."

    Ensign Crash did not doubt for one minute that the frigid scientist wasn't kidding.

ENGINEERING

    "I have never in my life seen such an undeserving parade of losers in line for a promotion!" Commander McMahon-Helmsley whined, tapping a perfectly manicured fingernail against her padd. "The only one worth a single credit is Ensign Angle!"

    "Ensign Angel is still having tabs from beer cans removed from places he didn't even know he had." Lt Commander Jericho reminded her. "He couldn't exactly cut it with Austin in tactical. Gave him some grief for being a swearing, cursing, alcoholic who wasn't a good role model for all the little ensigns."

    "That filthy drunk should change his behavior." Stephanie shivered, wondering again what hold Austin must have over her daddy to remain in his current position. "I suppose you like those prissy little Aerialians."

    "Ensigns Matt and Jeff have been very successful." Lt Commander Jericho said. "Despite your painfully obvious attempts to sabotage them. I don't suppose this has anything to do with Ensign Jeff's failure to rescue you a few weeks ago?"

    "I am not vengeful." Stephanie said defensively, her fury mounting as she saw the doubtful smirk on Jericho's face. "The only thing that is painfully obvious is your failure to recognize quality in an ensign."

    "Oh I am an expert when it comes to quality." Lt Commander Jericho told her. "I know the difference between a high-priced ho and a common gutter sl-"

    Stephanie's hand was raised when a drop of water splashed on it. She and Jericho both looked up at the ceiling of engineering as a slow trickle of cold liquid began to drip down on their heads.

INTERSTELLAR ZOOLOGY

    Ensign Crash had fallen asleep at his station after administering the necessary formulas to the appropriate creatures, setting the atmospheric controls in various cages, and punching in the data for Lt Benoit to view in the morning. Life had become very tiring for him aboard the Titanprize recently, as many crew members  still had not forgiven him for the acts of his evil double. Despite the fact that he was not directly responsible for "Roy's" crude and nasty behavior, there were some less than understanding people willing to extract payment from Crash, and that kept him on the run.

    His eyes fluttered open as he felt an unnatural warmth against his cheek. Did Lt Benoit have bad breath or something? Couldn't he trust the ensign with a simple experiment, darn it? Ensign Crash didn't need babysitting, contrary to popular opinion!

    One Houdianian eye met a very large, bloodshot yellow eye. Crash's other eye slid sideways to take in the rest of the Interstellar Zoology. Something had gone terribly, terribly wrong.

    "Lt Benoit?" Ensign Crash's voice was a shaky whisper. He used only the most sparing movements to tap his comm badge. He didn't want to upset...whatever this was. "Emergency on Deck 4...we have a situation here...."

THE SMACKDOWN

    "I think you could use this after the day you've had." Terri oozed sympathy as she pushed a non-prescription hypospray across the bar to Ensign Jeff.

    "Thanks." Ensign Jeff didn't like to give into pain, but after being dropped to the ground by Stephanie's malicious little gravity prank, he didn't hesitate to push the healing spray into his neck. He felt the soreness in his joints start to ease. "Lita will need one of these too when she shows up. I feel so terrible for her. Commander McMahon has it in for her so bad."

    Terri's face hardened. Was Jeff really that much of a twit? Ensign Lita had been willing to maul him to advance her career, and the Aerialian was playing a role in the red-headed spitfire's sob story. Maybe he didn't have the testicular fortitude to be Wrestlefleet Lieutenant, as their fearless captain might say.

    "Ensign Jeff!" Stephanie's sing-song voice reached his ears, just as the commander perched on the barstool next to him. Her smile was angelic, but Ensign Jeff knew their was a demon behind it, if Lt. Commander Jericho was to be believed.

    "Commander McMahon-Helmsley." he said politely, remembering to call her by her married name, just in case Hunter was lurking or she was in a bad mood.

    "Ensign Jeff, I hope you understand about today in the Holodeck." Stephanie said, gesturing for Terri to bring her a synthehol. "My intention wasn't to injure you. It was simply to test your psychological strength and see how you reacted to a sudden change in the dynamics of battle."

    "I understand," Ensign Jeff shifted uncomfortably on his barstool, as Stephanie's lips lingered on her straw, her eyelashes fluttering in his direction. Good lord, was the commander... flirting with him?

    "You were just incredible, really." Stephanie went on. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Tori nod at her.

    "Thank-you, Commander." Fortunately, Stephanie couldn't see his ears turning pink underneath his blue and purple hair. "That promotion means a lot to me."

    "Oh you should definitely be rewarded." Stephanie's mouth was touching his before he knew it, kissing him in a fashion that merely proved the rumors about her...experience.

    "Commander McMahon!" Lt Commander Jericho barked over the comm system. "We have an emergency in Engineering. We have some readings here that require your attention!"

    "I'm on my way!" Stephanie tapped her badge and winked at Ensign Jeff. She greeted Ensigns Matt and Lita merrily on her way to the turbolift, wishing she could savor the hateful expression on the female Aerialian's face for just a few moments longer. So jealous, yet so out of touch with her feelings...silly, silly Lita.

    Ensign Jeff was mortified, his face becoming as red as his hair. Lita was glowering at him, and across the room.

    So was Hunter.

ENGINEERING

    "Twenty minutes ago, Ensign Crash sent a distress call to Lt Benoit from Interstellar Zoology." Lt Commander Jericho didn't mince words as Stephanie breezed into Engineering. "Since then, we have heard nothing but silence from Deck 4."

    "So?" The commander looked bored. "Send a security team up there or something."

    "Deck 4 has been sealed off." Lt Commander Jericho reported grimly. "Phasers cannot penetrate the force field. Commander Kane is unable to initiate an emergency override."

    "Well this just sucks!" Commander McMahon whined, as something splashed on her head and trickled down her nose, landing on her tongue before she could close her mouth. It was slimey and salty. She gagged.

    "Exactly how I felt when you kissed me." Jericho muttered.

    "Commander McMahon-Helmsley! Lt Commander Jericho!" A crew member waved at them frantically. "The warp core!"

    Stephanie and the Y2J Unit sprinted to the pulsing blue gem that powered their ship through space.The sapphire colored light now glowed through a thick coating of mossy fungus. Commander McMahon's face screwed up in disgust as she whipped out her trusty tricorder.

    "It's just plain old Flareite moss." she said as the readings poured out of the tricorder's data chips. "It's decaying at a rapid rate and yet expanding twice as fast as it dies."

    Lt Commander Jericho was scanning with his own two manufactured eyes and his internal computer. "This isn't plain old anything, Stephie. The organic compounds in the moss are using the warp energy as a food source. They are absorbing the energy and slowly choking the core to death."

    Ensign's Matt and Lita had blazed into engineering, having been summoned by a crew member who felt the situation required as many helping hands as necessary.

    "What the hell is that?" Lita asked breathlessly.

    "Flareite moss." Lt Commander Jericho replied. "Only it's alive, going through rapid life cycles, and using the warp core to fuel itself."

    "Effect on the warp core?" Ensign Matt asked.

    "Well, it will either strangle the life out of our precious core and bring the ship to a screeching dead halt, or..." Jericho took a deep breath "....Or the fungus could dissolve the barriers between the matter and anti-matter chambers, triggering a swift, powerful explosion that would blow all our DNA right out of existence."

    "The constant flux in energy could also cause a breech in the containment field, flooding the deck with lethal plasma radiation." Ensign Matt said, his face darkening. "If that happens, the deck would have to sealed off from the rest of the ship."

    "Where did this yucky stuff come from?" Stephanie wailed.

    Ensign Lita didn't bother to hide her eye-rolling as she accessed the ship's information on her tricorder. "Interstellar Zoology on the deck above us. I am getting bizarre bio-readings from that deck, Commander."

    "You don't worry about the zoo upstairs!" Stephanie turned on Lita, hissing like a rattlesnake. "You fix this problem!" Commander McMahon poked a finger in the direction of the molding core. "Lt Commander Jericho and I will attempt a more in-depth scan of Deck 4!"

    All eyes in engineering turned to the metal doors as some...things, heavy and alive, threw themselves against the thick steel, creating massive dents in material that would not normally yield to intense phaser fire. Every single member of  Commander McMahon's team drew their weapons as growling straight from the depths of hell set their spines rigid. Whatever it was, it sounded angry, possibly hungry. Lt Commander Jericho was the first to unleash a beam of poisonous light as the metal groaned and splintered apart. Stephanie screamed. Even fearless Ensign Lita screamed....

THE SMACKDOWN

    "This is exactly why McMahon should let us have weapons." Hunter muttered, one hand braced in a death grip on a lead pipe. He was pressed behind the bar; actually there was a full house behind the bar, as the Smackdown had been...taken over.

    "God I hate spider!" Tori shuddered, pouring fiery Houdinian brandy down her throat to numb her mind to the horror show that was taking place in the ship's "fun spot" It certainly wasn't fun anymore.

    "Spider isn't the damn word for those." Road Dogg said, shaking his head in disbelief.

    Road Dogg was right. It had been a typical night in the Smackdown, drunk guys laughing it up, young couples flirting on the dance floor, until the world had come crashing down around their ears, literally. If it hadn't been real, the Smackdown patrons would have thought they were fully engaged in a bad dream.

    The ceiling had split open like an egg, with human-sized spiders hatching out of it. They were truly grotesque, six feet in height, each with long legs that ended in razor sharp talons. X-Pac had already had an arm pierced and bloodied by one of the arachnids in their successful attempt to drive the crew behind the bar. The appearance of these monsters was not the most frightening part of the whole freakshow… it was the intelligence and purpose behind their behavior. One spider clattered back and forth in front of the bar, as if standing guard, while three other spun gorgeous shimmering webs across the Smackdown's spacious interior.

    "I really regret my no-phaser policy for the Smackdown." Terri said, biting her lip.

    "You should, you skank." Hunter snapped.

    "Er... where did Ensign Jeff go?" Tori's eyes darted back and forth. "Gosh, you don't think those... things ate him do you?"

    "I really don't give a damn where Happy Pants Hardy is!" Hunter lashed out. "He should be lunch after the way he tried to play tonsil hockey with my wife! And if those bugs don't snack on him, I will freaking eat him alive!"

    "He really did violate your wife's virtue," Ensign Angle nodded vigorously. "It's true, it's true."

    "If I were you, I wouldn't be so worried about where your wife's lips have been," Terri advised her disgruntled worker. "I'd be more concerned about what those mutant insects plan to trap in those webs..."

JEFFRIES TUBE-ABOVE DECK 5

    "And to think, I thought you were the biggest pig alive." Stephanie muttered as she crawled through the Jeffries Tube above Deck 5, which was adjoined to Deck 4, source of the horror that was now taking over the Titanprize. Sweat dampened her hair and pushed a path down her face. The environmental controls had long since gone nuts.

    "Let me repeat this." Lt Commander Jericho moved behind her in the narrow crawlspace. "That was not a pig. That was a mutated Carellian panther with a thirst for blood and some very unfortunate genetic flux going on. And speaking of biggest things, what I've got a view of right now-"

    Commander McMahon twisted around as far as she could and shoved her phaser in Jericho's face. He smiled.

    "Save it for Deck 4 sweets." he told her.

    "If we get there." Stephanie muttered, slithering forward. She pushed at a hatch at the end of their Jeffries tube, cursing in a most unladylike manner when it refused to budge.

    "Damn, you humans are weak." Jericho sighed. "Move it or lose it, and believe me, you could stand to lose 10 or 15 pounds of it."

    Stephanie didn't argue as Jericho manuevered his body around hers; she just sucked in her breath as he brushed against her. It was just so repulsive it took her breath away....

    "Piece of cake." Jericho carefully slid the metal disc aside, peering into the darkness of the Jeffries tube that stretched out beyond him. He did a visual scan. "Stay on Deck 5 Commander. Don't even think about moving."

    "What?" Stephanie tried to glance over Jericho's shoulder as he plunged into the blackness. "Dammit Chris don't leave me here! You shouldn't go without back-up!"

    Jericho eased himself all the way in, and with reflexes faster than any humans, re-sealed the hatch so Stephanie could not open it. She kicked it in frustration.

    "I hope you get that peach fuzz eaten right off your face." Stephanie muttered spitefully, crawling back towards Deck 5. She froze as she heard a scuttling sound nearby. It sounded animal and it sounded high-velocity as well. Was it in the Jeffries tube with her? She thrust her the beam of her plasma light deep into the void ahead, but could pick up only faint and distorted shadows, shadows that began to take hideous shapes as the fear built up in her blood.

    A scratching noise perked her ears and made the hairs on the back of her neck straighten; an ominous tingling sensation raced down her spine-Oh god, it was in here with her...

    Stephanie dropped her body down a ladder and kicked open a hatch, free-falling to the corridor floor below in her panic. Deck 5 was bathed in pure darkness except for the occassional random pulse of the emergency lighting, although all the commander could see was stars from her tumble. She staggered dizzily to her feet, and shrieked in terror as she came face to face with it!

ENGINEERING

    "The containment field will break down in 15 minutes if the moss continues to absorb energy at this rate." Ensign Matt declared, glaring at his tricorder. "Bombarding the fungus with highly-charged gamma particles just isn't working. The core won't respond to our power down command. Dammit!"

    "The warp core is too unstable to eject." Ensign Lita shook her head. The frustration was killing her. Either the damn ship was gonna blow or they were all going to be dinner for mutant alien animals shortly. No parts of the ship had been able to sustain communications with another section. Scans worked occasionally, if at all. "We could vent the leaking plasma to an empty deck."

    "It may be our only choice, if the ship doesn't get vaporized first." Matt's smile was downright morbid.

    "Deck 5 is empty."

    "Fine." Ensign Matt glanced at the ship map that was blinking madly along one wall. "Forget Deck 5! Commander McMahon's bio-signal is located there according to this!"

    Ensign Lita looked up. "I didn't see that before."

    Ensign Matt had his doubts.

DECK 5-CORRIDOR

    Stephanie was torn between the urge to throw up and the need to pass out cold. Her back was arched against the sealed door between Decks 5 and 6, massive claws impaling the steel behind her. She could have been the star of some primitive Earth horror film, but this was not blood-curdling entertainment-the giant, aggressive chunk of Aerialian sea life that was poised to swallow her in one bite was vividly alive.

    Of course, it would be Aerialian, she thought, peeking out at the hard black eyes that were inches from her face, eyes that possessed a scary amount of expression and intelligence. She swallowed-maybe it was getting revenge on behalf of those slug-like Aerialian ensigns she enjoyed torturing. Wild thoughts raced feverishly through her brain as the thing opened its mouth, revealing long, thin, sword-like teeth hooked together with oozing strands of saliva. The bile rose in her throat.

    "God, just please let Jericho die a death ten times more horrible." she whispered, squeezing her eyes shut and praying it would be a quick end for her. Of all the indignities to suffer through, to be digested by this piece of ocean crud....

    She waited and waited. She dared to lift an eyelid, only to see the thing be shredded by a disruptor beam. It was a heck of a lot more unpleasant than squishing a bug under one's feet, Stephanie thought queasily. She stepped around the mess and looked up into the hatch she had just exited. Ensign Jeff was hanging precariously from a ladder, though his agile body didn't seem stressed by the contortions it had to go through to get into firing position.

    "Where did you get that weapon?" Stephanie demanded.

    Ensign Jeff sighed as he sprang from the hatch and landed on his feet, cat-like. "The Titanprize seized an alien cargo ship a couple days ago. Commander Kane found it was loaded with illegal weapons. You asked me to bring them to engineering for study after my break today."

    "Oh. " Stephanie frowned. "Well, then why did you disobey my orders and end up in the Jeffries tube?"

    "I figured since my brother and Lita were busy blasting a Carellian panther to bits, it might not be the safest place to be." he replied seriously.

    "You ran like a little chicken then?" Stephanie pressed him

    "I thought I might be more useful somewhere else." Ensign Jeff was beginning to see the light behind Lt Commander Jericho's perpetual hostility towards the Commander. "They had things under control."

    "Well, if you think this sort of blatant sucking up is going to get you anywhere near being a Lieutenant..." Stephanie tossed her hair in a dismissive gesture.

    "Your welcome." Ensign Jeff said with a sigh.

    Commander McMahon wasn't going to waste time trifling with some ensign plagued by a hero complex. She jumped high enough to get a hand around the bottom rung of the ladder and started pulling her body back up into the tube, the only safe place on this damn ship turned zoo.

    Ensign Jeff wrenched at one of her ankles, bringing her back to solid ground in a painful hurry, at the same time firing his disruptor into the black, the stream of deadly radiation flaring so close to her head that she could feel scorching heat on her scalp. Stephanie doubled over and gagged for real as something wet and sticky creeped down Deck 5's wall.

    "Did I mention I was followed?" Ensign Jeff asked, watching his weak-stomached superior officer with amusement.

    "You left that part out." Stephanie groaned, her face chalk-white. "In fact, you left a hell of a lot out."

    Ensign Jeff did not have to ask what she meant, as hissing, writhing snakes that seemed to stretch for a mile into the shadowy hallway moved slowly, lazily towards his feet. Why should they hurry? he thought, reading the empty charge alarm light that winked at him mockingly from the side of the weapon. They have all the time in the world to devour us.

    "Maybe they're not hungry." Stephanie suggested sarcastically, as she kicked her damaged phaser towards the slithering beasts. It didn't even make them flinch.

    Ensign Jeff stepped backwards as more snakes dropped from the hatch, like it was raining these disgusting things, keeping his body between the creatures and his commanding officer...

CAPTAIN'S READY ROOM

    "Ensign Crash, you better damn well have a good explanation for this, right here, right now!" Captain McMahon was ready to snap, as he stared at the fresh-faced, naive, incompetent little ensign that quivered before him.

    "Sir-I-uh." Ensign Crash was silenced by Lt Benoit slicing his hand across his own throat.

    "It's very simple Captain." Lt Benoit said flatly. "Ensign Crash did nothing wrong. In fact, though I hate to give the boy credit for anything, he saved the ship and the lives of everyone on it."

    "Oh yeah?" Lt  Rock stood behind the Captain for this meeting. "Well Lt. Benoit, you got an excuse for this little jabroni, you just....bring it!"

    "I also thought that Ensign Crash had mistakenly introduced a mutating agent to the animal population," Lt Benoit did not seem bothered by Rock's attempts to intimidate him. "However, we were able to sedate a fairly small earth mouse and discovered that a man made genetic virus was the culprit."

    "But who..." Captain McMahon's suspicion was written all over his face as he glared at the two men.

    "I have no idea sir." Lt Benoit's face was usually an impenetrable mask, but a slight twitch revealed his anger at being betrayed. "The virus had been dormant for several weeks, and Interstellar Zoology is not a secure area. In fact, it is an area frequented by alien visitors."

    "And how did your candy asses cure this mickey mouse virus?" Rock demanded.

    "It was simple to engineer another virus that would reverse the effects of the original once we were able to study it." Lt Benoit explained. "However, if we had not been able to catch that mouse, the ship may not have survived. The mutated animals were fortunately more possessed by escaping Deck 4 than with attacking me and the ensign."

    "And once Lt Benoit developed the cure,  I was able to sneak into a Jeffries tube and release it through the ventilation system in a spray form." Ensign Crash said proudly. "All the animals have returned to normal and show no ill effects from the disease!"

    "Even the llamas and monkeys?" Rock asked, raising his eyebrow.

    "Ummm....yes sir Lt Rock, sir." Ensign Crash replied. "Even the llamas and monkeys."

CAPTAIN'S READY ROOM-3 DAYS LATER

    "Captain's Log, Stardate 061258.00. The animal ordeal is over, much to my relief. There were no fatalities among my crew, although there were injuries to many patrons and employees of the Smackdown. Commander Kane is investigating the sabotage with grave seriousness, after all, the virus could have been made to infect humans....

    Captain McMahon re-read the data from the padd that had been dropped off to him earlier that day, as if trying to convince himself he was seeing correctly.

    "Stephanie has recommended that Ensign Jeff Hardy be given the promotion to Lieutenant. I must admit, this does not gel with the evaluations I had been given all week by my daughter, which described the ensign as a lazy, lecherous Aerialian lout. I suppose the fact that Ensign Angle, her pet ensign, is in Sickbay recovering from a particularly nasty spider bite might have some bearing on the decision. Lt Comander Jericho was pleased by this information, although I couldn't judge whether he smiled more about Ensign Jeff's good news or Ensign Angle being bit on the backside as he had tried to run away from an over-sized arachnid..."