SEASON SEVEN

EPISODE 11: BAD WEEK

By: Elektra

 SPACE: THE FINAL FRONTIER. THESE ARE THE VOYAGES OF THE WWF TITANPRIZE. IT'S MISSION: TO EXPLORE AND ENTERTAIN NEW SOCIETIES AND NEW CIVILIZATIONS.  TO BOLDLY GO WHERE NO WRESTLER HAS GONE BEFORE!

TITANPRIZE/NYTRON CREW:

Captain Vince Russo (aka High Commander)
First Officer, Commander Jeff Jarrett (aka The Chosen One)
Chief Engineer, Commander Stephanie McMahon
Chief of Chiefs, Commander Linda McMahon
Chief of WrestleFleet Security, Commander Kane
Chiefs of Nytron Security, Commanders Hall, and Nash
Chief WrestleFleet Medical Officer, Dr. Taker
Chief Nytron Medical Officer, Dr. V. M. Piro
Diagnostics Officer, Lieutenant Commander Jericho
Tactical Officer, Lieutenant Commander Austin
Transporter Chief, Lieutenant Commander Debra McMichael
Communications Officer, Lieutenant Rock
Counselor Al Snow (assisted by H.E.A.D.)

... And many more!

WWF TITANPRIZE - CAPTAIN'S READY ROOM

    "Captain's log, stardate 080320.00. It seems our latest WrestleFleet officer, EO Richards, has been annoying my crew as of late. He's been angering Ensign Pump, claiming a WrestleFleet ship is no place for 'hoochies', and yelling at the Nytron girls for their lack of clothing," Russo paused his log, and turned to his constant companion, "Tell me, Eric. Do you see anything wrong with the Nytron girl uniforms?" he asked.

    Bishoff shook his head, trying to mutter something through his gag.

    "Didn't think so," he turned back to his log, "In other news, Lt. Loco... or should I say, WrestleFleet Ensign Chavo Jr, is attempting to persuade other Nytrons to join him. I doubt he'll be very successful. NO one turns on Russo without punishment. No one!" he smiled coldly, "End log,"

THE SMACKDOWN

    "May I have your attention please?" a voice spoke up, trying to be heard over the crowd. No one noticed, "MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE!" the voice shouted.

    "Will the resident jackass please stand up..." someone replied, "Oh wait... you already ARE standing, Richards!"

     EO Richards was standing at the front of the bar, accompanied by his bodyguard, Mr. Buchanan. "Very funny, Pump!" he snapped, then shook his head, "All you people in here drinking your beer, flirting with your waitresses... don't you know you are ruining the very moral fiber of WrestleFleet? Of the known Universe for that matter?" he asked.

    The Smackdown patrons muttered in reply, then turned back to what they were doing.  "LISTEN TO HIM!" another voice shouted.

    A collective gasp came up from the bar. Standing beside EO Richards was none other then Ensign Godfather... dressed in a white shirt, tie, and black trousers.

    "What the hell is all this, Godfather?" Lt. Bradshaw asked as he put down his beer and eyed Godfather suspiciously.

    "I am now known as Ensign Goodfather," he said, "And I have seen the light! I have seen what EO Richards has been trying to do! Don't you understand?" he asked, "WrestleFleet once stood proud as the very backbone of society. Now look at what has happened!" Goodfather said, "We've suddenly got bars aboard our ships, more violence then ever before! INTERNAL violence... as can be seen through these Nytrons rebels, and we even have scantily-clad women parading around as if it's their right!"

    "Hey, Godfa... oh, sorry GOODfather..." Lt. Farooq began, "If I do recall, you were the one providing us with the scantily-clad women!"

    "I know. And I'm sorry. Steven has shown me the error of my ways..." he said, and hung his head, "Forgive me! I didn't know what I was doing at the time..."

    Farooq and Bradshaw looked at each other, then puffed on their cigars. A few of Godfather's rejected ladies came to sit beside them and chat.

    EO Richards came up to them, "This is WRONG!" Richards said, and grabbed the cigars out of Farooq and Bradshaw's hands. He then signaled for the Goodfather. The former pimp shooed the ladies away, "Occupation or no occupation, I WILL clean up this ship!" Richards said.

    Lieutenants Farooq and Bradshaw jumped to their feet, "All right, that does it! You touched our cubans!" Farooq snapped.

    "As Etiquette Officer, I have a right to do what I deem acceptable!" Richards said.

    "As security lieutenants, let us tell you what WE have a right to do!" Bradshaw began, "We have a right to drink lots of beer! We have a right to consort with wild, half-naked women..." he looked at Farooq. Farooq nodded, knowing what Bradshaw was thinking. Bradshaw turned back to EO Richards, "And it seems we have a right to kick your asses all over this damn ship, boys!"

    EO Richards, the Goodfather, and Mr. Buchanan quickly ran from the Smackdown.

    Bradshaw and Farooq pursued.

ENGINEERING

    "Here we have the warp core, Chavo," Ensign Guerrero said as he showed the younger Guerrero the large glowing plasma pillar in the middle of the room.

    Chavo watched, eyes wide. He was looking quite sharp in his brand-new yellow WrestleFleet Engineering uniform.

    "Ensign Guerrero, while many have accepted Chavo back into WrestleFleet, I must insist that he keep his distance from MY warp engines!" Commander McMahon snapped.

    "Commander..." a voice spoke up behind her.

    Stephanie spun around to see Lt. Commander Jericho, "WHAT?!"

    He blinked, then spoke, "Chavo has pledged loyalty to WrestleFleet. I think it is safe for him to---"

    "THINK?" Stephanie snapped, "That's ALL you ever do, Chris. THINK!" she replied, then threw her hands up, "Never mind! Do what you want. If our ship explodes, we'll know who's fault it is!" With that, she headed to her station.

THE SMACKDOWN

    "Man, I can't believe Chavo turned WrestleFleet!" Nytron Shane Helms whined to his friends. "Like Nytrons are suddenly no good!"

    "Yo, Sugar, I hear that! He probably thinks the WrestleFleet uniform makes him look cool!" Nytron Evan Karagias replied. "Whaddya think, Shann?"

    "I think it's not nice to turn on Russo, dude! It's really not..." Nytron Shannon Moore replied, then smiled, "Maybe we should get him back for doing that! Just imagine how grateful Russo would be? He'd probably set up some concert space for us!"

    "Oh! We could sing and dance ... and CHARGE!" Evan replied.

    "So what are we waiting for? Let's find little Chavo!" Sugar replied.

    The three headed off to find their victim.

SHUTTLEBAY 4 - much later

    Stephanie stared out the shuttlebay window at the familiar stars. Things had been interesting the past week in Shuttle Bay four. Terri and Kitty had gotten into a cat fight over a bottle of hair dye,  Ensigns Edge and Christian had fought over a smudge on Christian's mirror. And who could forget Lt. Rock threatening to stick the bunk bed up Lt. Commander Austin's candy ass if he didn't stop snoring?

    The tension was getting to everyone. Well... ALMOST everyone.

    Stephanie sighed. The Y2J Unit was as unemotional as ever. He had even taken to studying her as she slept! She remembered waking up a few days ago to see Lt. Commander Jericho watching her - a look on his face that she never recalled seeing from Hunter... but Commander Stephanie knew that look was nothing more then android curiosity.

    Stephanie reached into her pocket and felt the coolness of a silicon chip. Maybe she wouldn't bother giving it to him. She had enough problems right now without him calling her names again, or teasing her with that sly little grin that she found so incredibly---

    "Commander..?" a voice spoke.

    Stephanie spun around, and took a deep breath, "Yes, Lt. Commander Jericho?" she asked.

    "Was I out of line in Engineering today?" he asked ever so calmly.

    "What do you mean?" she asked.

    "About Ensign Chavo. I understand your hesitancy to accept him back... and perhaps if I had my emotion chip, then I would feel hesitant as well..." he stopped and looked down, "I would feel something at least..."

    Stephanie looked at him. Did he sound sad? Sad about not having his emotion chip?! But... how could he be SAD? It was impossible.

    She looked back out the window, and he came up behind her.  "That expanse over there..." he pointed to a purplish-pink cloud off to the right, "Is the Jakked nebula," he said. "What we see is how it looked over 10, 000 years ago. The light is just reaching us now. It's beautiful, isn't it?"

    "Beautiful?" Stephanie asked, "Even without your chip, you can appreciate beauty?"

    There was a moment of silence, then he spoke again, sounding somewhat confused, "It seems so. I suppose it is part of my programming," he replied, "For example, I can appreciate that your current hairstyle is rather… cute,"

    Stephanie unconsciously put a hand to the long braid dangling over her shoulder. She turned to him, "You think so?" she asked.

    He raised a hand and touched her hair, "Yes. I do..." he replied.

    Stephanie felt a strange tingling and quickly jerked her head away from his hand. She frowned at him, "Do a diagnostics check on yourself, Lt. Commander. I think your static filters are running at less then acceptable levels."

    The Y2J Unit brought his hand back to his side, and his eyes were blank for a moment as he ran his diagnostic. Finally he spoke, "Diagnostics complete. Static filters are running at 110%."

    Stephanie noticed how close they were standing to each other... and the strange tingling didn't go away. "Check again!" she demanded.

    He did so, "Still running at 110%," he replied.

    "What about your body temperature?!" she asked. She could feel the heat coming off him, and it was making her incredibly warm.

    "My body temperature is within normal parameters," he said, then looked down at her,  "Is there something wrong, Commander?" he asked. "Do you have reason to believe my systems are malfunctioning?"

    "Back to robot mode, huh, Chris?" Stephanie thought. For a moment there, she could have sworn she was talking to something more then a walking/talking calculator... but the blank look on his face now, and the flatness of his voice reminded her otherwise.

    Stephanie pushed herself away from the window and climbed to the top of her bunk.

    "On the top again, Commander?" Jericho asked.

    Stephanie turned on her side, ignoring the Y2J Unit. She'd been cooped up in this shuttle bay with him for far too long. Now she was starting to hear things in his voice that weren't there - like a smart-ass tone in that last comment...

TITANPRIZE CORRIDORS - the next day

    Ensign Chavo walked down the hall carefully, ignoring the dirty looks from the Nytrons he once rebelled beside. He turned a corner, and walked right into a group calling themselves 3-Count. If only he could remember their names. What were they now? Sugar, Evan, and Shannon? Yes. That was it.

    "So... you think you can turn on Russo and get off scott free?" Sugar asked, holding a large lead microphone in his hand.

    Shannon tightened his grip on a dancing circle, "Yeah, man... we don't like traitors!"

    "Whaddya think we should do with him?" Evan asked, smiling smugly, arms crossed in 'cool-teen-idol' fashion.

    "I think we oughta punish him... on Russo's behalf!" Sugar replied.

    The three looked at Chavo, and charged.  Chavo spun around and ran away.  He turned a corner, and smacked right into Lt. Bradshaw, "Woah woah, little Chavo... what's goin' on?" he asked.

    "They're after me!" Chavo said hysterically.

    "Who?" Lt. Farooq asked as he came up beside Bradshaw.

    "Nytrons!" Chavo replied.

    Farooq pat Chavo on the shoulder, "Tell ya what... Bradshaw and me will take care of whoever it is. We love to stick our boots up Nytron ass..."

    Chavo thanked them and ran down the hall.

    3 Count came around the corner, and stopped dead in their tracks, paling as they saw who awaited them.

    "Damn! They're pretty boys!" Farooq said.

    "Man, I hate pretty boys, Farooq!" Bradshaw replied.

    "Me too, Bradshaw," Farooq replied, "Whaddya say we rearrange their pretty boy faces?"

    3 Count tried to protest, but their mouths were quickly filled by Farooq and Bradshaw's fists.

APA SECURITY OFFICE - later

    "You know, that's the most fun I've had since this damn occupation began..." Bradshaw replied as he and Farooq went up to the door to their office.  He paused, "What the hell is this?" he asked.

    On the APA door was a sticker of a red circle bisected by a diagonal line.  Farooq shrugged, "Damned if I know," he ripped the sticker off and opened the door, but paused half-way in, "Where the hell are our cards?" he asked.

    "WHAT?!" Bradshaw said as he looked at the empty table that greeted him. "Man, no problem. We have lots of cards in the filing cabinet!" Bradshaw went up to the large metal cabinet and looked under 'C'.  "What the HELL?!" he snapped. The only thing in the 'C' section was a book with the same bisected red circle, and the words 'We have the right to censor'.

    Farooq frantically opened the "B"  drawer, and was greeted with a piece of paper with the hated circle, "Our BEER!" he shouted.

    "Oh... now that's just going too far! No one... and I mean NO ONE touches our damn beer!" Bradshaw replied.

    "What say you and me go looking for some white-collar, stick-up-their-ass pansy Etiquette Officers and have ourselves another ass-whuppin'?"

    Bradshaw nodded, and the two quickly headed out of the office.

SHUTTLE BAY 4

    Stephanie stared at the bunk above her. She sighed. He hadn't said a word in two hours! What was he doing? Just staring at the ceiling?  Stephanie kicked the mattress that drooped down, "Hey you! You still alive up there?"

    "Yes Commander..." came the unemotional reply.

    "Well... move... or something!"

    "I have no need to move, Commander," The Y2J Unit replied.

    Stephanie knew there was a reason she preferred the top bunk. It saved her from having to talk to the Y2J Unit.

     Stephanie crawled out of her bed, and climbed up the ladder, "Move your legs!" she snapped. Jericho quickly sat up and tucked his legs under. Stephanie made herself comfortable on the end of his mattress. He looked at her, waiting, "Listen," she began, "You have less personality then Ensign Blackman without your damn chip..." she paused, "Well... ok… maybe a BIT more personality then him, but that's not saying much..."

    "True," he admitted.

    Stephanie rolled her eyes. Why was he so agreeable? Because he doesn't argue with superior officers, she reminded herself. Just like a good little WrestleFleet Lt. Commander. "Ok. If you had a choice to get your emotion chip back, would you accept it?"

    "I do not think that's possible," he replied.  "Irvine Inc. had the patent on it, and spent years constructing it. With Russo's Reign, I'm unable to contact them about the loss---"

    "Oh shut up!" Stephanie snapped, "You don't have to get so technical..." she muttered, and looked away. Should she give it to him? Maybe things would just be easier if...

    "Commander?" he spoke. She still seemed to be staring off into space, ignoring him. He grabbed her chin gently and turned her face towards him, leaning forward "Commander..." he repeated, "You seem conflicted..."

    Stephanie quickly jerked back. Why did he have to lean in so close to her? "I'm fine!" she snapped, "Just thinking about things..."

    "May I ask if anything is bothering you?" he asked.

    Did he actually sound concerned? No. That would have been impossible. Stephanie shook her head, "If I wanted to talk to someone, I'd talk to Counselor Snow!" she snapped. "I think I'll just go to sleep!"

    "Very well..." he moved over, allowing her space to lie down.

    Stephanie looked at him, incensed, "NOT up here, you IDIOT!" she replied. She waited for some snide comment. Maybe something about how she had slept with everyone else on board... but received NOTHING. She sighed. If she DID curl up beside him, it would mean nothing anyway. Stephanie looked down at her own bunk. Someone had taken over, "WHAT!" she snapped as she climbed down the ladder, "Shoo... shoo!!" she said. Kitty's kitten, and Chyna's puppy had made themselves comfortable on the empty bed, "Go on... get!"

    "They don't seem to want to move..." Lt. Commander Jericho replied. Stephanie gasped. She hadn't even heard him come down beside her.

    Stephanie looked at him, "Don't sneak up on me like that!" then shook her head, "Kitty!" she called out. No answer.  "Chyna?"

    "I think they're asleep, Commander..." Jericho replied.

    Stephanie sighed, and reached down to grab the puppy. He growled at her, baring his teeth. Stephanie pulled her hand back, then reached for the kitten. The kitten hissed at her, "Damnit! Where the hell am I supposed to sleep now?"

    "You may use my bunk. I don't need it." Jericho replied.

    "What are you going to do. Stand here all night?" she asked.

    "Standing all night doesn't bother me," he replied.

    "Nothing bothers you, does it, Chris..." Stephanie muttered, then climbed up the ladder.  She sighed and stared at the ceiling for a few minutes, then looked down to see if Jericho was off standing in a corner.

    Instead, she saw a sight that surprised her -- curled on the bed beside the kitten and the puppy, Jericho had made himself comfortable.

    Stephanie studied them. With the three cuddled together like that, she'd almost think the Y2J Unit was human.

THE SMACKDOWN - the next day

    Sugar, Shannon, and Evan eyed Chavo a few feet away, their jaws still aching from Bradshaw and Farooq's beat down. It seemed they weren't alone. Apparently, stories around the ship claimed that those WrestleFleet EOs Mr. Buchanan and Goodfather had to have Bradshaw and Farooq's boots surgically removed from their rears.

    Evan smiled as he saw Chyna bring a drink to Chavo. Before the amazon waitress had picked the drink off the bar, Evan had been able to slip a laxative into it. This way, while Chavo least expected it, 3 Count would be able to corner him in the washroom and get rid of him. Chyna put Evan's own drink in front of him. He sipped it and waited.

    After a few minutes, Evan frowned. Chavo seemed just fine! Why wasn't it working? And why did he suddenly have a stomach ache? Suddenly, his eyes went wide, "Oh man! This SUCKS!" he shouted.

    "What sucks?" Sugar asked.

    "Chyna gave me CHAVO'S drink!" Evan replied, then quickly got up from the table, and ran out of the Smackdown like a bat out of hell.

GARDEN DECK

    EO Richards frowned as he heard male/female giggling from a few feet away, behind a wall of hedges.

    "Oh you truly are the Franchise, sweetie!" a woman said.

    "I know I am, Torrie... I know..." a man replied.

    EO Richards made his presence known as he walked around the hedge, "What is going on? You two are involved in unacceptable behaviour!" he snapped, "You're in PUBLIC for heaven sake! " he shouted.

    "Ain't no one else here!" the Nytron Shane Douglas replied, " 'cept you! Wanna join?"

    "Oh… I... I can't believe this!" Richards sputtered, "How DISGUSTING!"

    "Chill man... we're just making out. Don't tell me you never kissed a woman before, Richards!" Douglas replied.

    "I... I would never... in PUBLIC!"

    Torrie stood up and flaunted her revealing outfit, "Lemme guess... you think making out is a bad thing, right?"

    "In public, it's..." he paused as Torrie put her arms around his neck and smiled. "Now... now stop this..." he spoke nervously. "Even for a Nytron, this is... is..."

    Torrie leaned forward, "Don't you like me, Stevie?" she pouted.

    "It's STEVEN!" he snapped, "And... well... I have nothing against you… but.. your behaviour is inappropriate!"

    "HEY! STEVEN!" Bradshaw and Farooq shouted as they entered the garden deck.

    EO Richards spun around at the sound of the voices, "This isn't what you think!" he said quickly, "She was behaving inappropriately! I didn't ask for her to----"

    "Oh shut the hell up, little man!" Farooq snapped, "We came in here for one reason and one reason only..." he turned to Bradshaw, smiling.

    Bradshaw nodded, "That reason being... I stuck my boot up Goodfather's ass. Farooq stuck his boot up Bull's ass... but I don't believe either of us have stuck our boots up YOUR ass yet! So to be fair, you get a double 'boot up your ass' special -- MY left boot, FAROOQ'S right boot."

    Richard's paled, "Oh dear…."

TITANPRIZE CORRIDORS

    3 Count hid behind a corner, and waited, "That little Chavo is going to get it THIS time!" Sugar said as he held his lead microphone ready. "HERE HE COMES!" he shouted, and swung back.  He felt the microphone hit something, and turned to see Shannon lying unconscious on the ground. "Oh man...!"

    "You dork!" Evan said.

    "Hey... he was standing too close!" Sugar complained.

    "He was standing too close..." Evan mocked, "Maybe you just weren't looking!" he snapped.

    "You wanna start something with me, Karagias? You think you're all that? Think you can go against Sugar?"

    "Yeah! Yeah I can!" Evan replied.

    Sugar swung the microphone at him, and Evan ducked, then tackled his friend to the ground. The two rolled around the corridors, trading punches.

    Chavo walked by and saw the commotion, then shrugged and walked on. Oh well. It didn't concern him anyhow.

CAPTAIN'S READY ROOM

    "Damnit. Those nitwits!" Russo muttered as he looked at the report of the latest happenings aboard the Titanprize. 3 Count had been sent to Sickbay after a trist amongst themselves. In other news, EO Richards had TWO boots removed from his rear. Funny... Russo didn't think the human buttox was capable of making room for two full-sized boots.

    He shrugged, and put the report down. He looked at Bishoff, "You know, soon these little problems won't matter anymore. Once my plan is set into motion, then everyone will bow to me -- Nytron and WrestleFleet alike!"

    He smiled coldly.  Only a few more days until they were in Earth's orbit... then EVERYONE would witness the power of Russo!