SPACE: THE FINAL FRONTIER. THESE ARE THE VOYAGES OF THE WWF TITANPRIZE. IT'S MISSION: TO EXPLORE AND ENTERTAIN NEW SOCIETIES AND NEW CIVILIZATIONS.  TO BOLDLY GO WHERE NO WRESTLER HAS GONE BEFORE!

TITANPRIZE CREW:

Captain Vince McMahon
First Officer, Commander Mick Foley
Chief Engineer, Commander Stephanie McMahon
Chief of Chiefs, Commander Linda McMahon
Chief of Security, Commander Kane
Chief Medical Officer, Dr. Taker
Diagnostics Officer, Lieutenant Commander Jericho
Tactical Officer, Lieutenant Commander Austin
Transporter Chief, Lieutenant Commander Debra
Communications Officer, Lieutenant Commander Rock
Counselor Al Snow (assisted by H.E.A.D.)

... And many more!

WWF TITANPRIZE - GARDEN DECK

    Talasia-5 winked at the couple on the other side of the window. Their long, black shadows were hidden underneath the shelter of Maivian leaf canopies and brightly coloured Aerialian snapdragons. Talasia-5 fell someplace between a nebula and a cloud, a great glittering mass of burned out stellar dust, invisible dark matter, and galactic debris. The scattering of particles was infused with the radiant light of stars hundreds of thousands light years away.

    The astronomical leftovers seemed to unfurl is a spiral pattern, much like the Milky Way they both vaguely remembered. One of the arms swirled around like a dazzling diamond necklace, embracing a lightning storm. Two engineers observed the chaotic dance of charged ions with clinical eyes, understanding the science and it's terrible beauty. At that exact spot in space, the very fabric of the universe was unstable.

    A wormhole was opening. Maybe.

    The young woman turned away from the spectacle. She no longer seemed like a child playing dress-up in a gold and black commanders uniform. Her posture was rigid and unyielding, her eyes as hard as the titanium beneath her associate's skin. "Warning noted and filed away. Perhaps you could waste more of my valuable time?"

    He carefully refrained from blinking or flinching. "Your father-"

    A dismissive wave of the hand. An equally quiet and dangerous storm brewed in the deep blue gaze he met. "-is a joke! The laughingstock of the crew! That bottle-blonde slut dragged him into the gutter with her. For god's sake, Personnel Commissioner Regal was barely able to put a proper spin on that spanking he witnessed! I won't take orders from him!"

    The impudent brat could stand a nice trip over the knee herself. "Come on, princess. What could a bleached bimbo, a bigger harlot than even you, possibly exploit out of the great Vince McMahon?"

    She snorted derisively. "Pardon my crudeness, dearest, but an old washed up egomaniac who ain't getting any will have his mouth as wide open as his zipper if you stick enough silicon in his face."

    Hmmm, hasn't she become a ruthless little tart......

    "Am I the only McMahon who thinks with this head?" A haughty toss of ringlets. "We could stop the weasel NOW, but Y2Geek has his pretty blonde head up his tight little butt about legalities. Hey Chrissie." She jammed her perfectly manicured finger into his chest. "This far out in no man's land, I'm not concerned with proving Shane O' is a loathesome traitor."

    "Fine." Ahhh, McMahonworld. Where plotting the death of your sibling was just another day in paradise. "Good-luck getting past his Nytron zombies to stick the knife in."

    She smiled coldly. "Touche. You disappont me, Chrissie, you really do. If even silly little me knows which way the wind is blowing on this godforsaken ship, so should the superior bucket of bolts. Or maybe you don't give a damn."

    "I resent that."

    She was still drilling him with that high and mighty finger of hers. Maybe he'd just break it- "Boo-hoo. Grow up and be a man. I resent having the Smackdown turned into a lawless wild west saloon by Shane's cronies. I resent his whore spy milking my father for all the intelligence he's worth. And I resent you blowing off Shane's overt threats of reprogramming!"

    "Threats, sweetie?"

    She clenched and unclenched her fist. "Duh Chris. He thinks......he thinks......" Her stomach turned. She could barely make her tongue manipulate the words. "...we're in.....we like each other too much," Steph added hastily, "He's a delusional fruitcake, of course. Weaselface just warned me - look if he knew about the lessons, he'd demolish your programming-"

    His synthetic skin flushed most humanly. "No one can reprogram me! Not your scientifically ignorant brother, not Benoit, and sure as HELL not those mind-numbingly inane Nytron insects! Get off my back!"

    "Matt Hardy could reprogram you with one hand tied behind his back!"

    Oh boy...he could feel a year's worth of stifled slut jokes on the tip of his tongue. I am unfeeling...I do not provoke.... "You better calm down, little girl. You have no idea what you're messing with here! Shane's under control, at least he will be as long as you keep that super-enhanced chest out of things!"

    She reeled back as if struck. "Shallow pri-"

    They heard it at the same time. The slightest swish....something brushing the promenade that circled above them. Footsteps? Neither breathed, waiting.....

    "Your big mouth is gonna kill you one day, sweetie."

    "No one's there, you paranoid freak!" A chill raced up her spine. What if they'd been exposed? If someone told Shane.....Jericho was doomed.

    "Get away from my sister!" Her heart dropped to her knees as the weaseling little voice splintered the night around the gloomy flora.

    "Why don't you go f-" She gasped in shock as Chris grabbed her wrists and jerked her off her feet, forcing his icy mouth against hers for what seemed a sickening eternity.

    "Mmmm, I taste a little Hunter, maybe some Guerrero.....definitely got a little Matt and Jeff on you...perhaps with a side of Kurt Angle?"

    Commander Shane McMahon had been reduced to looking like a cross between a gasping guppy and a deer caught in headlights. His baby sister stumbled backwards, face bloodless in the pale wash of Talasian lights. Jericho had signed his death warrant with such a stupid, stupid-"You MORON!" She slapped him viciously-

    Shane's phaser was unholstered, his eyes darting back and forth. So he couldn't get a clean shot-this was better anyways-tie up the loose ends-

    Lightning tore across the hull, scoring it with singe marks, flooding the graviton stabilizers with volatile energy, exploding plasma conduits in engineering, superheating the warp core.....

    The deck was battered by energy, tossed like a ball in the cosmic playround, flowers flying and screeching across the metallic floor as gravity broke. Jericho looked around for Stephanie, but the darkness had swallowed her up......

WWF TITANPRIZE - THE SMACKDOWN

    "How impressive." Trish purred, as she slid another Kanatian cocktail across the bar to Ensign Christian. "Your big brother becomes a lieutenant today. You must be sooo proud!"

    "Look dude." Christian said haughtily, his hazel eyes gazing imperiously down at her from behind huge ruby lenses. "It isn't like he's getting his teeth filed down or he finally popped that heinous zit. It's a wack little title, not a freaking manicure. What's everyone's damage?"

    "For the millionth time, I am NOT a man! I'm-"

    Christian turned his barstool around. "You bore me." And so did the uncool ceremony unfolding before his bedazzling eyes, so bedazzling he was forced to filter their lethal radiance behind specially coated glasses. Captain Reekazoid heaping praise upon the Edgester so deep you needed tooled leather hipwaders to slog through it., pinning that shiny star on his collar.... He wasn't worthy of such accesorizing!

    Synthehol flowed freely in his veins.....the chitchat melted into a pleasant buzz....So.....not...reeking...of awesomeness....Yes! Edge did expertly manipulate the Titanprize through that Talisian Lightning storm, but it was my navigational program that saved the day! I'm SuperChristian, master of the universe! Perhaps the knowledge of my skillz has simply slipped through the cavernous cracks of my bro's pea brain....

    A sparkling white fog descended and lifted. Could it be true, Christian wondered? Have I become so cool I know generate my own aura.....

    No, he was now on the bridge of the Titanprize, a plush red carpet flowing beneath his polished black boots. Christian squared his broad shoulders inside his scarlet dress uniform, five gleaming stars winking from his collar. "Dude....."

    "All hail his highness, Captain Christian, supreme commander of the HMS RESO!" Kurt Angle bowed deeply after announcing him in a deep, melodious voice. "Your seat cushion has been properly fluffed, my liege."

    "Excellent." Christian smiled, careful to modulate it's inherently charming power. "First Officer Edge, are you forgetting something?"

    "My apologies, most awesome one!" Edge grovelled at the foot of the captain's jewel-encrusted   throne, properly affixing his lips to boot leather. "You are unable to see your own gorgeous face in the reflection-most heinous!"

    "No, you simpleton!" Christian bent his knuckles and executed a cruel and heartless nuggie, realizing his flesh and blood died a thousand times over each time a single golden follicle shifted out of place. "Have you forgotten my crown?"

    "The crown I so unjustly wrenched from your baby soft hands?" Edge replied obediently. "Of course, Wrestlefleet god upon earth. I humbly beseech you to forgive-"

    "The crown!"

    "Slave Hardly!" Edge snapped his fingers at the mute Matthew. Christian had wisely decreed his vocal cords be permanently severed. "Like-NOW!"

    Like the mere Aerialian insect he was, Matt scuttled over to his superior, offering up the Crown of Kanatia upon a velvet cushion of gilded satin. He kneeled in peasant fashion, allowing Christian to bask in the heady glow of sapphires, diamonds, and rubies. Slave D'von appeared, his hands dressed in soft gloves, all the better to handle a royal treasure with.

    Christian smiled angelicly, feeling the magnificent headdress carress his scalp. Slave Lita silently and swiftly moved to his elbow and took his hands, catching her breath as she always did at their silken texture. A warm tingle eased up his spine as the comforting swish of the emory board sounded against his nails. "You!" He flicked a hateful glance at Matthew. "Do keep your slimy paws away from the royal donuts! Love handles are a blasphemous scourge upon the face of Resofleet!"

    "We are approaching the Christian-55 Galaxy, my lord!" Angle reported eagerly. "The plebians eagerly await the unveiling of your colassal marble statue on Planet GoodHairDay! Of course...." He lowered his head. "Even such a timeless testament to your coolosity can never truly capture all your glory. Your blondeness transcends all...."

    "We are all jabronis in your presence." Slave Rock declared worshipfully. "I would rather lick a llama's-"

    "Enough!" Christian pounded his fist down on the console. "No catchphrases that do not contain the words "so," "like," and "awesomeness!"

    "Have mercy on my roody poo candy ass!" Rock pleaded, carefully eyeing royal bodyguards Bradshw and Faarooq. They stood like massive columns in front of the Captain's Royal Chamber.

    "Worry not, windbag." Christian had more pressing issues on his princely agenda. "Today, I set an example for those who consider becoming an enemy of my totally radical and stylin' regime! Ensign Jeffrey-front and center!"

    "B-b-but, my lord, I-" The rainbow-headed twit cowered before him. "Have I offended thee?"

    "Cut the sissy poet talk!" Christian snapped. "You could kiss my ass til your lips chapped and it would never be enough! Did you skip and bounce onto the bridge just now?"

    "Please oh benevolent captain!" Now the big baby was crying. "It is beyond my control! I am rhythmically challenged!"

    "Cripes all friday!" Angle muttered with exasperation. "Sobbing causes blotchy skin and wrinkles, you insufferable prig!"

    Christian was stone faced before this pussified display of emotion. "Perhaps one could forgive...skipping.....but the night of the karoake......disco is a war crime, and you shall be executed."

    "No!" Well, at least he thought Jeffrey said no. Often Slave Hardly squeaked at frequencies only an earth dog could hear. "I shall never dance again!"

    "Oh indeed." Christian nodded. "But that is the least of your abominations. Your accursed hair has plagued my vision long enough! You heartless bastard! How many zebras and cows were needlessly slaughtered to create those pants?"

    Christian's acolytes dragged the snivelling freak away. "May your soul burn forever in fashion hell, Hardly!"

    "Please, kind sir." Hunter, the bold degenerate warrior, now prostrated himself before the prince. "Regale us once again with your epic tale of the the fateful TLC clash, where you single handedly and without use of weapons decimated the armies of Planet Aerialia."

    "Ahhh yes." Christian's eyes closed, a dreamy sensation washing over him...the sensation of adoration. "My brother Edge had fallen at the gates of the Aerialian palace, where he sobbed for our mommy. The streets ran red with the blood of those hicks who chose to not welcome shampoo and apricot face cream into their lives..."

    A curtain of white glitter and smoke lifted. The pleasant buzz sharpened into that Stratus guy's scornful snickers.

    "A napkin, ensign? You're, like, drooling on your uniform!"

    Christian coolly accepted the napkin, but rejected the silicon thrust seductively in his face..

    "Whoa dude....you got yourself a SERIOUS hormone problem..."

WWF TITANPRIZE - COMMANDER SHANE MCMAHON'S PRIVATE QUARTERS

    To hell with Sickbay, thought the bruised and battered commander, splashing cold water on his face. Blood trickled from his nose, blue and black patches of skin swelling across his forehead.

    He could've killed em' both, with one punch on the trigger......that flaming mechanical romeo and his twisted little sister.....

    I am the dominant McMahon! I'll make her beg for mercy before I transport her to the center of a black hole....

    "Know what you're the thinking. Best to keep the tin man functioning, if ya catch my drift."

    The Diamond Cutter's voice rasped like a dull saw blade from the shadows. Shane logically agreed, of course. He'd alter Wrestlefleet's motto: If you can't kill them, corrupt them. An atom-thin silicon wafer rested on the smooth black surface of his desk, elegant in its simplicity, lethal in its intent. Good work from Lt. Benoit - Shane now held the strings to the puppet.

    "She's gotta die." McMahon sat, something hot and malevolent burning in his eyes. They slanted reptilian-like, the hunter on the prowl with a thirst for blood. More cruel and dangerous than Russo, because he was sane.....speaking of which....."Buh-Buh and D'von will do NOTHING to keep Russo from his pet obsession, my darling sister. Once he violates and murders her.....I'll crush him like a bug before his loyal subjects."

    Special Nytron Operative Page shuddered. "Freed by the lightnin', only to be burned by his estranged son."

    Shane smiled. "Indeed." A holographic map shimmered to life between them. "Ahh yes. The old man's hormones will be the death of him yet. Fancy him taking Trishykins to all the hidden hotspots on the ship, would ya?"

    Dallas chuckled. "Never knowin' she's gotta freakin' memory like a steel trap. You better reward that little sweetheart handsomely for her sacrifices."

    Shane imagined the Nytron and Extreme Tactical Squads pouring out every secret hole on the ship like swarms of plague locusts, feasting on the weak, worthless Wrestlefleet troops. "Mmmm, wonder how Senior Bartender would grab that hot little fanny of hers."

    Page clucked his tongue disapprovingly. "I know my fillies, boy. Don't cross a Kanatian spitfire like her. Me thinks young Miss Stratus has her heart set on playing your Lady MacBeth."

    "Oh yeah? That job's taken." He steepled his fingers together and turned towards the massive oval window. The glowing fissure off the starboard bow was becoming exponentially more luminous as the seconds ticked by. Would his partner in crime be packing cargo holds full of illegally modified guns or no? Don't disappoint me, Pauly, or I will serve your head on a silver platter to the D'masian dragons in zoology.....

    "Think Lita's gonna shack up with you?" The Diamond Cutter half-admired his commander's audacity. "After you give up her boytoy to Piro for the enrichment of scientific knowledge?"

    The very thought of that putrid little punk Jeff Hardy left a sour taste in Shane's mouth. All your fault Stephanie has to die...you made her weak...and if she doesn't rule with me, she rules against me....He calmly unclenched his fist. "Do you doubt the purity of my motives? A pain-resistant Aerialian is the perfect subject for nerve cell experiments sans amnesia."

    "She won't forgive you."

    Shane's grin was cold. "I'll make her hate him."

    Page said nothing. So risky, to waste time with personal vendettas....."How long do ya think Russo will take?"

    The illusive death map dissolved into nothingness. "He can't kill her fast enough for me."

WWF TITANPRIZE - LT. EDGE'S & ENSIGN CHRISTIAN'S QUARTERS

    A single candle flickered in the blackness, casting a harsh light on the shivering ensign. The air was humid and sticky with fever.

    "Come closer." Christian whispered, his voice hollow to match his eyes.

    "Why have the gods of Kanatia wrought this terrible illness upon you?" Edge's pretty face contorted with anguish as he kneeled by his brother's bedside. "Your complexion....so pasty.....your hair...so lank, so limp....I will do the honorable and totally awesome thing."

    The lieutenant smartly unholstered his phaser, adjusting the setting to KILL.

    "Have I become a reekazoid, Edgester?" Christian whispered meekly. "I lay here thinking....is there more to life than my beauty?"

    "Dear sweet conchairtos..." Edge swallowed a helpless sob. "Oh little buddy......no....the sucktitude has become terminal...."

    "Edge..." Christian reached for his hand, but big brother recoiled. Grody to the max! Someone else's perspiratory secretions! "I designed that navigational program.....it was my shrewd knowledge of stellar geography and cosmic dynamics that saved the ship.....yet you were promoted...."

    Edge's flawless features creased. "Ummmmm.....is this about careers and work and stuff? You have beautiful hair...why in the name of coolosity do you care?"

    "You got accessorized, dude. I feel so....so naked."

    "Glory hogging is the name of our game....didn't mom ever teach you about PRIORITIES?"

    Christian's eyes fluttered closed. "I have lost the urge to dawn spectacles.....show me the proper mercifications."

    "Put that damn thing away, boy!" Taker smoothly removed the phaser from Edge's grasp. "He ain't ill, unless wallowing in self pity like a freakin' prima donna is infectious. Ain't nothing a butt full of boot leather won't cure."

    "I shall sacrifice my star to save you." Edge declared solemnly, unsnapping the shiny silver gem from his collar. "We shall begin intensive mirror therapy asap."

    "A sap is right." Taker muttered. He'd punch the daylights out of them both, but hell, what would the APA do on weekends?

WWF TITANPRIZE - COMMANDER STEPHANIE MCMAHON'S QUARTERS

    She was grateful for the chimes outside her door, thankful they shattered her twisted nightmares and revealed the waking world.

    Stephanie sat bolt upright in bed, heart hammering like the warp core's pulse. She kicked away the knots of sweat-slicked satin that bound her body. Coward. Russo was a puny rat, an ineffectual loser. He couldn't dominate her every thought like this.

    Besides, the Dudleyz would be testifying over a broken table and his broken bones soon enough.

    "I'll get it." Lita sprung to her feet, pretending not to notice the terror in her commander's eyes.

    Why the hell hadn't anyone captured that Nytron sleaze already? It'd been several hours since his escape from the brig, and come on! Russo was a few electrons short of an atom, not exactly a wily target!

    "Maybe he smelled the chocolate donuts." Stephanie smirked.

    "I was going to generously offer to spell you." Matt said coldly, pushing into the room. "Or at least keep you company."

    "Please." Stephanie sat cross-legged on her bed. "Russo could dangle a blueberry muffin in front of you and then blast me while you chowed."

    That was mean, of course. One couldn't ask for better guard dogs than genetically loyal Aerialians.

    "Steph and I don't need YOUR kind of company." Lita said pointedly. "The kind that stays for five minutes and then ABANDONS you like yesterday's garbage."

    "Bitterness is an ugly thing, Red." Matt spread several pads out on Stephanie's pink coffee table.  No point wallowing in rejection when you could lose yourself in work. "Especially on you."

    "Horizontal stripes are an ugly thing." Lita retorted. "Especially on YOU!"

    "Don't get uppity with me cause the consolation prize lost it's charm, honey."

    Lita's face now matched her hair. How DARE he! She'd NEVER admit that Jeff kissed like a sloppy overeager puppy or refused to bypass his arrested development. He had about as much plans to mature as the fictional Peter Pan did. I'll marry Jeff and have eight goofy kids with him before I give fat Matt Hardy the satisfaction!

    Stephanie's eyes swept back and forth as if she was watching a tennis match, only better. Look at them flirt! Ha ha ha, wonder if I should remind em' that they're still in love? Sparks of anger my a-

    Hey, wait a minute. "Shut up! Just cause two people argue all the time doesn't mean they want each other! Now cut it out!"

    They froze. "Eh?"

    Her face burned. Stupid Jericho! She'd dismantle him bolt by bolt for the perverted liplock! "Hey!"

    Something banged against her door...slid down her door. Sounded suspiciously like a human body. Lita and Matt had their phasers pulled in a heartbeat.

    "Oh lord." Stephanie peered down at her doorstep. Young Jeff lay in a crumpled heap at her feet. "Don't shoot. Idiots are an endangered species." She nudged him with her foot. "He may have skipped his last step."

    "I don't skip." he groaned, struggling upright. "I BOUNCE."

    "There's such a thing as a doorbell." Lita said.

    Jeff's eyes narrowed. If Stephanie wasn't mistaken, they turned even greener when he saw Matt. "What is HE doing here with you?"

    "It was so awful, Jeff." Stephanie whispered, wide-eyed. "They were having this disgusting orgy.....I hid under my bed."

    "Please." He staggered into a vertical position. "If I know you, you sent out engraved invitations."

    "My HERO!" Ah even worse than Russo, Stephanie thought. That hussy Trish appeared, wrapping her arms, not to mention her silicon, around Skipper. "I was soooo scared! You're sooooo brave!"

    "Jeff is pretty handy with those penicillan shots." Commander McMahon said sweetly. Okay, red flags. What the hell did she want with little Hardly? Sacked my husband, sacked my father......Looks? Uh, no. His charm. Uh, no. She was Shane's personal....whatever, but still......

    "That awful, awful Big SLOW wouldn't take no for answer!" Trish's eyes misted over. She buried her blonde head against Jeff's scrawny shoulder. "He was going to-to-to!" She gulped back a huge sob. "I feel so violated! He was so rough with me! I have bruises!" She held out her wrists to them.

    "Loosen the handcuffs." Lita's smile was murderously unpleasant. Stephanie knew the look, and could only theorize...would her feisty friend coat Trish with honey and set red fire ants upon her, or would that surgically mutated body be discovered at the base of a plasma shaft......"Funny you're never around to rescue me, darling. Oh yes...that's right. SHANE is always there for me."

    Jeff disentangled himself from Trish's groping embrace. "Don't say the S word again!"

    Lita repeated it. "Shane."

    Something wicked glinted in Trish's eyes. "Not poor Jeff's fault you fail to arouse the passions of other men, Lita."

    "That's rich coming from someone with permanent mattress treads across their back." Matt snickered.

    Stephanie and Lita looked at him with glowing admiration. Now THAT was a slut joke worthy of Jericho!

    "I need to go back to work." Trish sulked. "Anytime you want something special, Ensign Hardy, it's on me...."

    Lita whipped out her Aerialian dagger, pinning Jeff to the wall like a wriggling insect. "Do not speak to me tonight. Do not speak to me tomorrow. You will be permitted to address me in three days. Pig." She removed the blade from his throat.

    Stay away from Miss Stratus, Rainbow Brite." Stephanie warned him. "She eats men alive. She'd destroy a boy like you."

    Jeff glared at the door. No one calls me a boy.....

ECW EXTREMESHIP - TALASIAN-5 WORMHOLE

    The bridge of Paul Heyman's legendary Andromeda-Class Extremeship was storm tossed and burning, wires snapping and spitting like cobras as the fluxing gravity inside the tunnel pummelled the hull. He felt relaxed in the bubble of unearthly calm at his command, his vaunted warriors focused and fearless at their stations.

    The unused console next to Captain E liquified and then morphed into a long-haired grungy soldier-the shapeshifter Raven. That nauseating cherub Molly Holly was not the only psychic magician this side of space.....

    "The wormhole will collapse in thirteen minutes." Ensign Raven gave the last known science report from the Titanprize, from that traitor Benoit.....

    Russo's wormhole....what a beauty! Admiral Ice Queen McMahon fought tooth and nail to re-open that puppy, anything for that uptight million dollar ego trip hubby of hers! Anything for the children! Congrats ya old bag! You done good by your baby boy!

    Princess Stephanie, however......well hell, some ya win, some ya lose Vince, Paul thought with a grin. Ol' Moneybags could just buy himself a sweet new spawn to spoil.

    "We'll make it." Crack pilot Rob Van Damn acknowledged.

    "Federation space will be sealed off after the collapse." Spike Dudley reported from Engineering. "Quantam mines set to detonate in nine minutes."

    "We'll make it." Crack pilot Rob Van Damn acknowledged.

    "Federation space will be sealed off after the collapse." Spike Dudley reported from Engineering.

    "Beautiful." Paul sighed. "Good-bye Wrestlefleet! And Linda McMahon? You can kiss my ass!"

WWF TITANPRIZE - COMMANDER STEPHANIE MCMAHON'S QUARTERS

    I've got to get out of here! Screw Russo! Who the hell cares where he is! I can't stand this anymore!

    Her skin was crawling so bad she felt like a prisoner inside it. Oh to shed it like a snake! And that moody twit Jeff just sat sullenly outside her door, feigning offense at some earlier slight. This was ridiculous! McMahons did NOT hide from slithering Nytron!

    Protective custody...yeah right. Opie was out there painting his nails. She could be accosted here. She could be attacked in Engineering. She wasn't some bird you could lock in a cage-the cat would find her anywhere.

    Jericho's idea...brilliant suggestion slimebot!

    Suuure, you're sooo concerned with my well-being. My life span compared to yours is less than the flutter of an eyelash. Stars will live and die during your existence. Why should you bother with a mere mortal like me?

    "Hey Skipper." She poked her head outside. "Wanna...make out?"

    He shot her a withering glance. "Too little, too late darling. Now please, this is art. I must not be disturbed."

    "Oh you're disturbed alright." Stupid doors. You couldn't even slam them! Jeff wasn't fun anymore. What the heck crawled up his shorts anyways? Everyone felt like an enemy now, thanks to Shane's machinations. Even Chris....

    It struck without warning, a primal force knocking her back against the cold titanium door, her breath expelled from her lungs like a hurricane. In the blink of an eye, a curved blade rested against the hollow of her throat. She blinked, not trusting herself to speak or exhale.

    "Scream and you will bleed to death." Benoit hissed. "Slowly." Stephanie nodded, her uniform slicked with icy sweat. The Wolverine had a human face and pale inhuman eyes. He'd cut her with the same nonchalance as a butcher slaughtering an animal. "Do you wish Jericho to die?"

    Her head swayed slowly back and forth.

    "Steph?" Hardly sounded supremely bored. "If you snuck an ensign through the Jeffries tubes, I swear to god-"

    "I'm fine." she said shakily.

    "Good girl. Shane will take the ship; this can't be prevented. He musn't be allowed to take the ultimate weapon. Jericho's soul."

    "Soul?" Stephanie laughed, feeling the arctic blade slip against her neck. "Jericho is nothing but a tool. A loyal tool."

    Y2J had overestimated her cleverness. Lovestruck fool. She understood enough to be self-destructive, to collapse the house of cards they'd all so carefully built. "Shane has a worm, is a worm. Jericho's time as a being of free will is limited-"

    "Free will? You're as crazy as Russo! And I can't help Chris as long as I'm held here-"

    "You're just a naive girl." Benoit shook his head in disbelief. "No one will move to stop Russo. The Dudleyz have been instructed to stand down. Shane wants your corpse in the morgue within 24 hours!"

    Her eyes widened, then closed, as if her entire being was curling itself to a protective ball. Commander McMahon spoke bravely about battling her brother, but still saw the little boy she'd spent Christmases with in Greenwich. "Your big brother died on the other side of the wormhole. All you have left is an unstoppable enemy."

    Her body slumped to the floor. Yes, it was all real now...."This must be uploaded into the Y2J Unit's positronic net before the weasel strikes. Faarooq and Bradshaw are hunting Russo...."

    Stephanie didn't open her eyes as she grasped the silicon sliver Benoit offered like a life preserver. "Why should I trust one monster over another? You almost detonated me on Copeland-9...because you hated Rock. Maybe you hate Jericho more...."

    "Doubt me and all is lost." Those were the last words he spoke before the Jeffries tubes swallowed him whole.

    She rose, quivering like a leaf in the wind. What was illusion and what was not? How could Shane be powerful enough to commit such horrible acts against his family...his federation? Only the Nytron would help him-they were amoebas for god's sakes! Cowards!

    I hope I'm doing the right thing, Chrissie....

    "Commander McMahon to Lt. Commander Jericho-please respond...."

WWF TITANPRIZE - JEFFRIES TUBE 69B

    "A high-ranking officer in the slut's quarters. How unusual!"

    Benoit didn't move a muscle. His eyes absorbed the blue phaser light illuminating their small pocket of darkness. It would be set to vaporize. "Commander McMahon's boots need licking, ensign."

    Christian laughed. "He'll be licking mine after I dispose of you. Please don't twitch. I'm not stupid enough to underestimate you."

    The Wolverine blinked. Inane catchphrases and buggy specs no longer applied . A hypospray was expertly drawn from Christian's holster. "Lt. Edge-"

    "Ensign Edge." Beneath his gaze, liquid hate simmered to the boiling point. "Soft little bitch gave it up. Just flash a mirror at him and he's my puppet on a string."

    Benoit licked his lips. Options: zero. The lone wolf outfoxed by a psychotically jealous valley boy...who knew? He'd trusted everything to that floudering child......

    "Don't look so shocked, mutt." The needle plunged into this thick muscles. "Your time with Piro is sooooo gonna reek of awesomeness...."

WWF TITANPRIZE - CAPTAIN'S READY ROOM

    Vince could not bring himself to turn away from the window. Space was still black as pitch, unyielding in its darkness. Sure, a few stars scattered themselves like gold dust across the night, but otherwise.....

    Russo's wormhole had simply died after coughing up the Extreme Ship. The weight of gravity crushed it and all of McMahon's hopes. Damn you Russo, I'll see your soul in hell!

    "Together Vinnie, together we'll pry space open and fly these babies home."

    McMahon turned slightly. Heyman appeared to be a supremely confident man, despite being     stranded in the fifth circle of cosmic hell. Security Sargeant Rhyno's massive bulk shadowed the door, his stare intense and impenetrable. No one would be fool enough to tangle with Heyman when a gore was their reward.

    "It was extremely brave to venture through such an unstable wormhole." Vince said flatly. "Your courage will be honored in the Smackdown later."

    Paul snorted. Oh you don't know how depressing it's going to get, baby. "Forget it. Walk in the park for my boys. Extreme is what we do."

    "They'll be welcomed as full-fledged crew members with appropriate rank."

    "Gracias," Heyman smirked. "Good god, man. You see the cloud in every silver lining, don't you? Think of the opportunity! The pure science! The discoveries! All with Vinnie's Mac name attached to em' in big, bold letters!"

    Vince smiled faintly. "My apologies. Of course, this unknown quadrant of space is what keeps my crew alive...thriving. Curiousity and all that. It's just-my daughter, my princess...that madman."

    Heyman sighed inwardly. Hadn't she bit the stellar dust already? "Russo's a wanna be. Buh Buh and D'von, I know em', know their work. No Nytron'll be able to identify his frickin' body when they're done playing."

    "You know how kids are-she's chafing under protective custody." McMahon dismissed the subject with a wave of his hand. Heyman noticed the missing wedding ring...well, well, well. "Your ship-we can repair all the damage."

    "Weapons off-line, life support minimal...." Paul's eyes misted over. "Aw hell Vinnie Mac, just tow my baby behind ya, and we'll stick her in a Federation museum when we get home."

    "As you wish." McMahon nodded. "My thanks for the supplies Shane is unloading in the cargo hold. Medicine and food are always needed between Class-M planets."

    "No biggie." Heyman shrugged. Not gonna thank me for all the bad ass guns secured in the false bottoms of those chromium bins? Your gratitude is duly noted. "My crew is deeply appreciative of the tour your son has arranged. I think you'll find my warriors most impressive when push comes to shove."

    "Yes, well...." McMahon turned back towards the permanent midnight that enveloped the Titanprize. "Not much pushing and shoving out here. It's as peaceful as a ghost town."

    "You sound disappointed, Vinnie." You won't be for long. This ghost town is about to become the wild, wild west all over again!

    "Don't mind me, Paul. Sometimes we just need a little conflict to stir the blood."

    And spill it, my prophetic captain, spill it until you drown in it......

WWF TITANPRIZE - DECK 9 - ENGINEERING

    "Coast is clear." Jeff felt pretty pleased with himself. Lita wasn't fooling him...."special repair project" with Matt his bony backside! No doubt they were picnicking under the romantic lights of the Jeffries tubes...a seven course picnic if he knew Matt! Well, the joke was on Lita. Big brother wouldn't put his lips on anything that didn't taste like chocolate.

    "Are you sure that robot is gone?" Trish giggled mischievously as her eyes adjusted to the pulsating lights and shadows. Ick! What a miserable place to work. No wonder it attracted geeks like Hardly. "He's so anal retentive!"

    "Yeah well, that's a machine for you." Ensign Hardy sat before his usual console. "But now that Stephanie's beckoned her love slave, we won't see him for HOURS."

    Trish wrinkled up her nose. Sorry, Shane, I can't pretend thats not gross, not even for Jeff. A human and an android? It was hard keeping the bile down...."I just don't want you getting burned for skipping out on guard duty. She was a witch to you earlier, and it was completely unfair. You were just being NOBLE!"

    "Steph's got this complex where she lusts for me really bad." Jeff explained with a roll of his eyes. "Makes her a total B."

    "This computer is so fancy." she said innocently. Yeah right. It was identical to the one in Shane's diagrams. "How on earth did you figure it out?"

    "It's not hard. I can show you." He pretended to shrug it off, but he had that cocky gleam going on, just like some little snot trying hopelessly to impress the beauty queen he didn't deserve. "First you need to access the mainframe with your username and coded password."

    "I'd NEVER remember so much information!" she cooed, inching closer to him. Wow, his hair looked so much dumber the closer you got to it.

    "I use an Aerialian word." he said, proud of his own cleverness. "Not too many people on the ship speak that fluently."

    "Are you as gifted as Matt?" Good grief. Stephanie had never changed his entry protocol. Jeff still had lieutenant level access, just as Shane suspected. "I hear he's the best hacker in the federation, barring Chris Jericho."

    Now Hardly's face burned. Correct buttons pushed successfully. "Matt's nothin' special. I can do it, I just don't need the extra attention. Check this out."

    "Could you do something as amazing as access the warp engine controls?" Trish leaned against him, shuddering inwardly. If Shane asked her to kiss this lamer, she'd be the one to execute Jeff, not that creep Piro!

    "With my hands tied behind my back." His fingers flew over the console, making the lights dance and the internal drive hum.

    Boy, I wish your hands were tied. "Gosh, you're so...fast!" But not fast enough for Trish Stratus. Did this juvenile twit think for one moment this amateurish display impressed her? She was a Kanatian intelligence agent, a master spy. He'd be just another weakling sucked in and spit out by her gorgeous blonde looks.

    "I could eject the whole warp core if I wanted." Jeff said smugly.

    "Wow!" Trish wanted to cuff him sideways. Who the hell did he think he was, assuming she was so ditzy she couldn't possibly memorize all these codes? They were seared into her brain, imprinted there for Shane to exploit.

    Commander McMahon never doubted her ruthlessness, never questioned her abilities. No wonder he loathed this pathetic brat....

    "Jeffrey!"

    "Oh god, no." Hardly spun around in his chair, facing the great red wrath of Lita. Matt stood silently beside her, a funny look on his face. "Honey bear."

    "Sugar." Lita kneeled beside him, jamming the business end of her phaser up under his chin. "You better run, Trish. Maybe draw up your last will and testament."

    "You can't threaten me!"

    "We can, however, send you soaring out a shuttle bay, sans shuttle." Matt treated her to a winning smile, devoid of warmth. "Now slime away from my brother."

    "Couldn't you just send me a break-up note in gym class?" Damn. Jeff couldn't manage his devastatingly charming grin with her firearm compressing his airway.

    "Break up?" Lita pressed harder. "We're not going to break up, Twinkle Toes. I'm going to break you."

    "Before you twist him into a pretzel, Red, let's take a peek at what he's showing his new dog." Matt flopped down beside his kid brother, his lightning quick mind enganging with the cut rate hack job laid out on the monitor. He whistled. "You're in big trouble, kiddo."

    "Not if we all zip our lips." Jeff said weakly.

    Matt wouldn't look at him. "I can't protect you from Jericho and Steph. Sorry."

    Sorry? Sorry was what Lita had planned in that beautiful vicious mind of hers....

WWF TITANPRIZE - COMMANDER STEPHANIE MCMAHON'S QUARTERS

    She angrily yanked the covers over her head, burrowing way down deep, away from the ship and all it's craziness.

    Thanks for standing me up, slimebot!

    She buried her head in her pillow. Jeff was too quiet. Maybe he was writing a poem. After all, he'd asked what rhymed with wench, harlot, and vixen forty-five minutes ago.

    Maybe they got you already, Chrissie. Maybe you're already gone....

    Cold raced through her blood. No, she wouldn't allow Shane to corrupt him. Jericho would be here soon, and she'd upload the enhanced Walls program. If only he hadn't kissed her on the garden deck...it felt like ages ago....Stephanie could still taste it...

    No, no, no! It was repulsive! I wish I could spit it out like poison!

    She'd never sleep, not like this. Jericho'd risked his very life to liplock her. Oh hell, it wasn't as romantic as all that. Chris kissed her lips, now Shane was determined to destroy him.
Stephanie laughed bitterly, hearing her brother's voice echo in her head. Not HIM, Stephanie. IT. The Y2J Unit is a THING. You need help....

    Commander McMahon blocked out Shane's cruel mocking smile. Rest came in gauzy, blurred intervals. Dreams crashed through the restfulness like tidal wave after destructive tidal wave. Chris was flesh and blood and she could hear his heart beating, and he hated her....Stephanie squirmed inside her cocoon, writhing away from the misery of seeing his glacier eyes and hateful slash of lips.....

    Russo came too, struggling into her brain like a parasitic worm. His grin was fanged like a vampire's, blood dripped from his mouth. He crawled onto her bed, a knife clenched between his jaws, a phaser beating the agonzing seconds against his hip. He kneeled on her bed, staring down at her face, which was peacefully composed in sleep. He brushed a finger against the soft skin....

    The bloodcurdling scream tore out of her, waking her violently. It's not a dream! Stephanie's heart thumped so hard it seemed palpable between them. She untangled herself, backing towards the window as it slithered up her bed...she thrust a foot out, feeling it connect with with flesh and bone, caving in and cracking ribs-

    It reached for her-she could almost feel a claw digging into her ankles, trying to drag her into hell. She was stronger than him! Stephanie tumbled off the bed, but like a rabid dog, he scrambled after her, eyes glowing red and hot to her. He pinned her arms to the carpet-she buried her knees in his chest, monkey tossing his emaciated body away from herself.

    "Jeff!" She screamed. Russo was on his feet again, stalking her in the dark, knife glinting in the starlight. She felt her legs bruise as she was pushed up against her nightstand. Stephanie's knees almost buckled as she fumbled behind her, in the drawer for the the weapon Jericho had given her..."Jeff!"

    "He's not there." His voice sounded spectral, disembodied.

    "You killed him!" A sob caught in her throat as she pulled the Crippler free from it's holster. The blue beam fired wide, scorching a scar in the curved walls.

    Russo dived at her, spearing her back against the window, the sweat from her terror sparkling in an eerie outline around her. Her breath was jerked loose, but the gun stayed firm in Stephanie's grasp. She struggled to inhale, to twist the firearm between them, but he was slashing at her with the knife-it made these great arcs, whistling through the air, wrenching blood and pain from her.

    I'm going to die. I can't survive this! I'm so cold....I can't stand up.....

    The blade was being spiraled through her t-shirt, she felt the heat and stickiness of her life floating away. It was so frigid inside her....made her stomach go numb and melt....

    "Good-night, sweet princess." He said it almost lovingly.

    I am not your princess!

    "We'll die together." Stephanie smiled, and released the trigger.....

WWF TITANPRIZE - THE SMACKDOWN

    Her first opportunity to view the Extreme Ship soldiers revealed no secrets. Stephanie hovered beyond the swinging doors of the Smackdown, watching them grate on the APA and mingle with the Nytrons. She decided she disliked Paul's troops immensely. Arrogant and swaggering, they were pumped up on daring missions and ludicrous blood-soaked war epics. They made Hunter seem modest.

    Heyman wasn't stupid enough to drag his ship through an unstable wormhole. So what treasure was he hunting? What made a dangerous journey through a worthless rip in space worth the effort?

    Strobe lights pierced the inky air, music throbbed until it echoed in her brain. Daddy threw quite a fiesta for their new "friends." Steph stepped forward, sucking air through her front teeth as pain echoed through her nerves. Pain meant you weren't dead, Jeff had told her cheerfully. Suuuure, Skipper.

    She hit a wall. It was her brother Shane. "Move it, nerd."

    "As I live and breathe, my darling sister fights another day." His smile could have frozen hell over. "Congratulations on your first murder. It gets easier."

    "At least I succeeded. Jeff's still breathing."

    Shane kept his shoulder between her and freedom. "I'm going to thank him for almost clipping a rotted branch off my family tree. Shafting you was the least idiotic thing he's ever done."

    "Leave him alone." Stephanie hissed. "He's suffered enough."

    "As a bonus, I won't make Lita watch Piro dissect him alive."

    "Over my dead body."

    Shane's face lit up. "Careful what you wish for, little one." He took her wrist suddenly, squeezing it until the blood drained from her face. "I was supposed to heroically avenge your death at the hands of Supreme Commander Crackpot. The Nytron were supposed to tremble at my authority and see their master dead forever. Freed from the shackles of his ghost only to be enslaved by moi."

    Stephanie gasped. Her brother was going to shatter the bones in her wrist. "You always sucked at cheating, weasel boy. Some McMahon."

    "Look around you." Shane twisted her body violently, pulling her hair so tight it almost snapped her neck. "Pretend the bar is a game. Who's my pawn and who is not? Who does little Stephie trust? Jeff? Lita? Hunter? Your android lover?" He laughed as she clawed at him. "Your mouth lies, but your eyes when he kissed you...."

    "Burn in hell, Shane!" Stephanie growled, sprawling to the ground as he released her. "I HATE Y2J!"

    "Your loyal pup didn't come running, did he?" Big Brother, who'd once almost given his life to spare hers from Russo, had nearly served her up as a sacrifice on a silver platter. Shane pushed her back against the wall with his boot. "Where oh where was the lovebot? Could it be I was jerking his leash?"

    She swallowed. Had the pampered little demon stolen Jericho's soul with his worm? All her fault... Stephanie would never forget her errant crippler beam incinerating the silicon anti-virus chip as Russo attacked. The weapon meant to redeem her had doomed Chris....

    Shane sighed. "I'll have to lay low now. The Nytron are experiencing a spasm of gratitude for your courageous act. We'll need to properly seduce them again."

    "Who is WE?"

    More snickering. "It's a guessing game, Stephanie dearest. Same rules as Russian roulette." He cocked his thumb and forefinger and shot her between the eyes.

    She grew quiet. "Daddy was right five years ago. You should have never been born."

    The transformation in his expression was sickening to behold. Like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde from the ancient fables, his inner devil consumed him. Shane drew his phaser. "I'm going to kill you right here."

    "I doubt it. It's my understanding grapefruits skip a generation."

    His gun hand shook. "Vince will regret the day he said those words to me."

    "McMahon." The Y2J Unit took his phaser. Shane didn't protest, merely let his arm go limp. "We'll pretend this didn't happen."

    Stephanie accepted Jericho's hand, noting the warm pulse beneath the cool skin. Impossible as it was, he seemed to be getting more human by the day. What on earth could make his mechanical heart race like that?

    Blushing furiously, she broke the touch.

    "It will happen again." Commander McMahon stiffened. His eyes swept carelessly over the Smackdown, absorbing the dancing, the flashing streams of color, the pretty faces and athletic bodies. "Only then you'll hold her down as I pull the trigger."

    Jericho said nothing. What did you say to that? "So Taker prettied your face back up." He remembered the pale angry scars across her cheeks. "As much as that face can be prettied up."

    Stephanie's turn for the silent treatment. In her peripheral vision, Matt and Lita slow danced and seemed happy with that. If Jeff's hair turned any more blue, they'd nickname him Skippy Smurf. Some people were destined to be alone. Like me.

    "Your husband and Austin seem tight." he remarked. "I'm a little concerned, being as Stone Cold is a MAN'S MAN."

    "Ex." she murmured absently.

    "So Eddie and I had a bet going." Jericho went on smoothly. "If you answer my next question with "wonder bra," he wins fifty credits."

    "You're going to make me ask, aren't you?" Her blue eyes flashed. "Go on, mock me. I couldn't even beat the stuffing out of a half-starved delirious prisoner."

    "Ask what?"

    "To continue with the self-defense lessons!" Stephanie flushed radiant pink. "I obviously suck. I almost went to the big mattress in the sky!"

    His lips twitched. "If you're saucy enough to risk the weasel's wrath, I'm game. Admit it, you just want to cop a feel."

    "My goodness, do you have x-ray vision?" Stephanie's tongue was silver with sarcasm. "Or has your positronic net been replaced with a crystal ball?"

    "Cargo hold 8, 1500 hours. Better eat your wheaties, princess."

    Chris knew Stephanie needed all the help she could get. He'd give anything to confess to her....

    There was no warning strong enough for the danger that awaited them all.

    She spoke to his blonde ponytail as he walked away. "You know Shane's gonna reprogram you, don't you, Chrissie."

    "You're crazy."

    Maybe she was. Maybe he was. There was nothing sane about passively accepting your own demise. But Jericho was smarter than her, not a comment she'd crack out loud.

    Sometimes you just had to trust crazy.