SPACE: THE FINAL FRONTIER. THESE ARE THE VOYAGES OF THE WWF TITANPRIZE. IT'S MISSION: TO EXPLORE AND ENTERTAIN NEW SOCIETIES AND NEW CIVILIZATIONS.  TO BOLDLY GO WHERE NO WRESTLER HAS GONE BEFORE!

TITANPRIZE CREW:

Captain Vince McMahon
First Officer, Commander Shane McMahon
Chief Engineer, Commander Stephanie McMahon
Chief of Chiefs, Commander Linda McMahon
Chief of Security, Commander Kane
Chief Medical Officer, Dr. Taker
Diagnostics Officer, Lieutenant Commander Jericho
Tactical Officer, Lieutenant Commander Austin
Transporter Chief, Lieutenant Commander Debra McMichael
Communications Officer, Lieutenant Commander Rock
Counselor Al Snow (assisted by H.E.A.D.)

... And many more!

ENSIGNS JEFF AND MATT HARDY’S  QUARTERS - Monday

    "Ensign’s log, stardate 100120.00. Friday is the big day. I finally managed to get Lita to marry me! What a feat! I’m particularly proud of myself.  I’ve weakened her to my charms. I’ve tamed her fires. I’ve calmed her heart, I’ve…"

      "Come on, Jeff Hardy!" Matt called out, "We have to put the finishing touches on your tux!"

     Jeff let out a sigh and closed his log. He looked at the tuxedo his brother was currently hovered over. Jeff had designed it himself, but Matt had prohibited him from deviating too much from the norm. Jeff didn’t mind. He knew his hair would more then make up for the lack of colour in the outfit.

     "Nervous, bro?" Matt asked.

     Jeff smiled, "A bit,"

     Matt took a deep breath. HE was nervous too… at least, according to the sinking feeling in his chest.

     Either that, or he wasn’t taking Jeff’s upcoming nuptials to Lita all that well. Sometimes he even felt a little bit jealous. Lita HAD been his girlfriend first.

     Oh well. Matt would get over her…

    Eventually…

COMMANDER STEPHANIE McMAHON’S QUARTERS - Tuesday

     Stephanie frowned as she took in her extra large walk-in closet. She put her hands on her hips and sighed. Why couldn’t she find an outfit for Jeff and Lita’s wedding? She had been seen in EVERY evening gown in her closet. If only there was a designer aboard the ship. She sighed quietly. The Maid of Honour had to wear SOMETHING spectacular, didn’t she?

     "Come," Stephanie called out as her door chimes rang. The door swooshed open to reveal a rather nervous Ensign Jeff Hardy, "What is it, Hardly?"

    "Um, can I talk to you for a sec?" Jeff asked.

    Stephanie looked at her watch, "A sec is up,"

    "C'mon, Steph!" Jeff said.

    Stephanie sighed, "Come in," He walked in, but said nothing, "Well?"

    "You know I'm marrying Lita on Friday..."

    "Yes. And?"

    Jeff's nervousness was soon replaced with a mischievous smile, "Well, I was hoping you'd tell me what NOT to do in a marriage..."

    "JEFF!" Stephanie shouted, annoyed. She threw a pillow at him. It hit him in the face.

    "Ouch!" he whined as he rubbed his nose.

    "Serves you right, dork!"

    "Hey, I just asked an innocent question!"

    "Innocent, my butt!" Stephanie replied.

    Jeff laughed, "I love you, Steph! You're so much fun to tease!"

    "Well, I'm glad you're having fun at my expense. Now go away before I throw the entire bed at you!"

    "That's not the way to get me to sleep with you, Steph," Jeff replied, and ducked another pillow with a laugh, "I get the feeling you’re a tad stressed …"

    "Yes I am! I don’t know what to wear to your wedding!" Stephanie whined.

    "Clothes would be good," Jeff replied.

     "Stop being such a smart ass!" Stephanie replied, then turned back to her closet, "Look at this! I’ve worn EVERYTHING in this closet already! I need to go shopping…"

     "I doubt there are a whole lot of shopping malls in this sector of space,"

     Stephanie sat down on her bed despairingly, "I need new clothes!"

    "Well, since you're busy lamenting about your wardrobe, I'd better head off to Engineering," Jeff smiled, "It’ll give me something to do rather then sit in my quarters growing nervous about my wedding," he said, then gave Stephanie a mock salute and headed out.

TITANPRIZE CORRIDORS

    Joe watched Ensign Hardy leave Commander Stephanie McMahon's quarters. Had Jeff told Stephanie he loved her a few moments ago? Did he insinuate she wanted to sleep with him?? How very interesting…

    Joe would just have to inform Lita about this new development. Now wouldn't THAT create some fireworks aboard the WWF Titanprize!

THE SMACKDOWN – Wednesday  night

     "Hey Chyna. Glad you're here! I have to ask you something," Lt. Commander Jericho started as he saw the security Ensign sitting at the bar.

     "What is it, Chris?" she asked.

     "I need your help," Jericho said as he sat on the stool beside her, "Jeff’s wedding is in a few days. I’ve been reading up on expected behaviour during weddings. There was something about dancing…"

     "You’re asking the wrong person about dancing, Chris," Chyna said, "The only dancing I know is the kind where you stand in one place and sway back and forth. Oh… and a few moves Ensigns Scotty and Grandmaster taught me,"

     "Uhhhh… that’s the kind of dancing I must avoid at all costs!"

     "I know," Chyna smiled, "Which is why I’m the wrong person to ask,"

     "I guess I’ll just have to find another way to emulate human behvaiour,"

    "Hey, sweetie…" Victoria slithered up to Lt. Commander Jericho, "I can teach you how to dance,"

    Jericho brightened, "Really?!" he asked.

     "Of course! And I’ll give you a reasonable price too…"

     Jericho allowed an amused smile, "That’s not exactly the kind of dancing I was thinking of, Victoria… but thanks anyway…"

     Victoria winked, "I can be your private dancer if that’s what you like. We can start right now in my quarters,"

     Jericho turned to Chyna and raised his eyebrows. The security Ensign covered her mouth, trying to hide her snickers from the ex lady-of-the-night.  Jericho turned back to Victoria, "That’s ok. I’ll go without the dancing lessons today,"

     "Ok, sweetie. But if you ever change your mind, Mandy and I would be MORE then happy to help you out!" Victoria said, then headed off.

     Chyna burst out laughing the moment the brunette was gone, "That girl only knows ONE kind of dancing… !"

     Jericho smirked, "She’s just trying to drum up some business," he replied, "This still doesn’t help me though. I need to learn how to dance,"

     "Ask Trish," Chyna offered.

     Jericho shrugged. It was worth a shot, "Trish?" he called out to the blonde currently wiping down glasses behind the bar.

    Trish came up to him, "What can I get you, Lt. Commander?"

    "Actually, I was just wondering if you know how to dance," he said.

    "Well… I know how to do a lot of things," she smiled slyly, "Why?"

    "I want to fit in at Jeff and Lita’s wedding," he explained, "And to do that, I need to learn how to dance…"

    Trish let out a laugh, "I COULD teach you how to dance at a wedding, but right now I’m tied up trying to teach Commander Kane how to BEHAVE at a wedding," she replied, then rolled her eyes, "Talk about an effort!" she looked back at Jericho, "Sorry, Lt. Commander. Wish I could help…"

    "That’s ok, Trish," he said. Trish then went back to her glasses, and Jericho sighed, "Well, guess I’ll just be sitting and watching at the wedding,"

    "That’s what I’LL be doing… except during those ‘stand and sway’ songs. You could always ask Lita," Chyna offered.

    "Kinda ruins the whole idea if I ask the bride to teach me how to dance at her wedding," Jericho said with a smile.

    "There’s always Stephanie…" Chyna said.

    Jericho’s smile quickly faded, "No. Not Stephanie,"

    Chyna sighed, "Listen, I know you two don't always get along, but----"

    "I’m forbidden from talking to her outside of Engineering," Jericho interrupted.

    Chyna paused, "What?"

    "Orders from on high are: Stay the hell away from Stephanie McMahon!"

    "Well who’s dumb idea---" she stopped, then nodded, "Shane…" it wasn’t a question.

    Jericho shrugged, "Oh well. No big loss," he stood up, "Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to get on duty." With that, he headed out of the bar.

HOLODECK 4 - Thursday

    "What is this?" Stephanie asked Lt. Commander Jericho blasted music through the holodeck speakers. It was loud, frantic, and energetic. She kind of liked it... not that she'd admit it to the Y2J Unit.

    "It's my favourite 20th Century band! I thought it would inspire you to move your ass a bit more and start learning some new moves!" Jericho replied.

    Stephanie furrowed her brow as she listened to the song booming through the holodeck. There was something about the lead singer's voice... it sounded familiar somehow. Stephanie turned to the Y2J Unit, her mouth opened in a little 'O'.

    "What?!" Jericho asked, "Why are you staring at me like that?!"

    Stephanie pointed to the speakers, still focused on Lt. Commander Jericho, "That voice," she started.

    "Great, isn't it?" Lt. Commander Jericho replied, "Now THAT is true talent!"

    "But..." Stephanie started, then focused on the singer's voice again. She offered Jericho another look, then shook her head, "Naaaaaw..." she said, "It can't be..."

    Jericho shrugged, "Well, I don't know what you're going on about, but we'd better get on with the lesson."

    Stephanie decided to forget about the singer for the moment, "All right then..." She clapped her hands together, "Let's go!"

    "Ok... I'm going to teach you something called a flying headscissors. It's a great take down, and allows you to get up before your opponent comes to his senses. But it takes athleticism. A LOT of athleticism!"

    "I've seen it! I should have no sweat learning it. I DID take gymnastics for five years! I loved it too," Stephanie replied.

    "Why did you stop?"

    Stephanie sighed, "Daddy made me take ballroom dancing lessons instead. He said it was expected of a McMahon woman to dance properly,"

    "Dancing lessons?" Jericho replied, then shook his head. No. Not from her. He wouldn't even ask.

      "Well not everyone can be programmed with dance lessons, unlike some android officers I can mention!"

     "I wasn't programmed with ANY dance lessons. Irvine Inc didn't exactly consider it an important aspect of my makeup," he replied.

    Stephanie seemed surprised, "Then what are you going to do at Jeff and Lita's wedding? Stand there and watch?"

     Lt. Commander Jericho shrugged, "Works for me!"

    "Oh come ON, Chris! You're one of Lita and Jeff's commanding officers, and the best man! You HAVE to dance at their wedding!!"

    "I don't recall reading 'all commanding officers must be able to dance' in the official WrestleFleet rule book!" he replied. "Besdies, if I wanted to learn, Victoria DID offer----"

    Stephanie was sure Victoria would teach Jericho a few moves that had NOTHING to do with dancing! "Forget that! I'll teach you!" She said. "Computer - Load up program Steph-598-x," The black and yellow hologrid was replaced with a large ballroom.

    "Listen, Skankanie. I don't need dancing lessons, ok? This is supposed to 'Stephanie learns how to kick ass' time, not 'let's teach Jericho how to dance' time!"  Stephanie ignored him and went to the holodeck controls, "Hey!" he complained as his favourite band was quickly silenced and replaced by a ballad, "What's THIS crap?"

    "Sorry, but rock 'n' roll isn't exactly danceable music," she said, and went back to the Y2J Unit. "Now hold my hand like this, and put your other hand on my waist," she commanded as her chosen song played softly in the background...

       There is never any mention, though it isn't my intention not to say...

       Jericho sighed. It was pointless to argue. He reluctantly did what Stephanie suggested, "Now what?" he asked.

    In my silent desperation, I can't change the situation anyway...

    "I lead, that's what!" she said. The two began to dance, until...  "OUCH! Watch where you're stepping, Y2Jerk!" Stephanie snapped.

    "It's not MY fault you have incredibly large feet for a woman!" he replied, "Amongst other things ..." he muttered. Pretending to be a smart-ass was just getting easier and easier for him. He began to wonder...

    Stephanie shoved him away angrily,  "You know what? Maybe you SHOULD get someone else to teach you how to dance!" she snapped.

    "YOU started it! Might as well follow through. Come on, Professor Skankanie - teach me! Or are you not up for it?" he replied smugly.

    Stephanie frowned. Damn him! He just HAD to challenge her! Fine then! She'd TAKE that challenge! Stephanie took his hand again, "Just match my feet... WITHOUT breaking my toes!"

    "Whatever," Jericho replied as he put a hand on her waist. He watched her feet carefully and began to copy her movements. Soon, the two Engineers were gliding across the dance floor with ease.

     And doesn't it seem strange how everything can change...

    "I thought you said you couldn't dance?!" she replied.

    "I'm a fast learner," he answered.

    Stephanie looked up at him. There was no smugness or arrogance in his voice this time. Just the truth.

    The Chief Engineer let out a surprised shout as Jericho twirled her around. He quickly pulled her against him, and Stephanie was surprised at how... WARM...  he was.

       I've never even told you...

    Jericho tightened his arms around her, and Stephanie wondered if he could hear how loud her heart was pounding.

       I have to keep my feelings locked away. I can't whisper, no I can't say...

    Jericho smirked, "Well, teacher?" he started, "Is my first lesson successful so far?"

    "Yes..." Stephanie replied quietly.  Why did her pulse race? Why did her stomach jump? And why did she close her eyes, raising her face up almost as if she wanted to...

     I've  never even told you...

    "Steph? You in there?"  Shane's voice came through the holodeck speakers like thunder.

    Stephanie quickly jumped away from the Y2J Unit, and secretly thanked the heavens for Shane!

    If her brother hadn't interrupted when he did, she would have--- Stephanie shook her head. Best not think of what COULD have happened...

    Shane banged on the holodeck doors, "Steph?"

    She looked at Jericho, and the Y2J Unit nodded as he made his way towards a panel in the wall, "Shane," Stephanie started, "I... uh... I'll be right there!" she said.

    "If weasel-boy sees me, I have a feeling it would be extremely detrimental to my career," Jericho said,  "...and my LIFE..." he added dryly, then pulled the jefferies tube panel away from the wall.

    "Do... um... do you want me to give you another lesson?" Stephanie asked.

    "No. Too many..." he paused, "... problems... could arise from it. It's bad enough I'm giving you self-defense lessons against my orders," he said, "Now if you'll excuse me..." The Y2J Unit quickly crawled inside the jefferies tube and pulled the panel shut behind him.

    "Problems... " Stephanie thought. Yes. They almost had a problem a few moments ago. Stephanie still couldn't understand why she had wanted to-- "Never mind," she told herself.

    Stephanie quickly went to the holodeck doors, and unlocked them. Shane walked in quickly, "What are you doing in here and who are you doing it WITH?" he demanded.

    "I'm practicing my dancing for Jeff and Lita's wedding... WITH a holo-partner!" Stephanie replied, annoyed at her big brother's accusatory tone.

    "Really...?" Shane replied, then frowned, "And I suppose you have NO idea where the Y2J Unit is,"

    "How would I know?" she asked quickly, "Why don't you just hail him on the comm?!" Stephanie snapped.

    "Because he SHOULD be in Engineering!" Shane snapped.

    "He's not on duty now!" Stephanie replied.

    "And how would YOU know the bot's duty schedule?" Shane asked.

    Stephanie put her hands on her hips, "Because I get a schedule for ALL the crew in Engineering! It's one of those 'Chief Engineer' things!" She shook he head, "Geez, Shane. What's your problem?!"

    "I don't HAVE a problem!" he snapped, then tapped his comm badge, "Commander McMahon to Lt. Commander Jericho!"

    "What do you want, Commander Jerky?" the Y2J Unit replied.

    Shane fumed. He would have to talk to the Y2J Unit about his disrespectful behaviour later, "Where the hell are you?!"

    "Currently making my way towards Holodeck 1 at Morale Commissioner Foley's request. He booked a match between myself and Lt. Ben-oyt a few minutes ago," Jericho replied.  Shane looked at Stephanie, who raised her eyebrows, as if to say I told you so... "Is there something you wanted, Commander?" Jericho asked.

    "No, that's all. Shane out!" he said, and closed the communication.

    "What was the point of that?" Stephanie asked.

    "Nothing... I just... wanted to know where the Y2J Unit was!"

    "Why?" Stephanie asked, playing dumb. Shane didn't need to know that Stephanie could answer that question herself.  He was such a typically over-protective older brother.

    "Never mind. We're having dinner with pops at 19:00 hours! Be in his quarters before then!"

    "Yeah yeah. I'll be there!" Stephanie replied, not liking to be ordered around, "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get to my quarters!" She turned her attention back to the holodeck, "Computer, end program!" The ballroom was replaced with the yellow and black holo-grid. Stephanie offered her brother an angry look, then spun on her heel and left.

THE SMACKDOWN - Friday

    A nervous Jeff Hardy stood in front of Captain McMahon as the bride's music echoed throughout the room. Jeff turned to see Lita coming down the aisle, and almost forgot to breathe. She was so beautiful...

    Finally, Lita made her way to Jeff's side.

    Captain McMahon smiled, and began, "From the days when ships first sailed the seas, the Captain has presided over many a ceremony. Once we took to the stars, the tradition continued. And now today, witnessed by all aboard the WWF Titanprize, the Captain is once again honoured to preside over a ceremony. In this case, a wedding..." McMahon waited until the cheering died down, and continued, "We are gathered here today to bring this man and this woman together in matrimony. If there is anyone here who sees why these two should not be joined in marriage, please speak now or forever hold your peace!"

    McMahon looked over his crew, and waited. He then turned back to the couple...

    "I speak," a voice called out. All eyes turned to see a man clad in a black shirt and black jeans. The unknown crew member stood, "Oh... by the way, my name is Joe," he said. Shouts of 'Joe who' arose from the crowd gathered in the Smackdown, "Just Joe," he replied, "And I speak now because of what I overhead on Monday..."  Mumbles of interest echoed throughout the room from the crew and the Nytrons, "I was walking past Stephanie McMahon's quarters when I head Jeff Hardy tell the Commander he loved her..."

    "WHAT?!" Stephanie sputtered at Lita’s side.

    Lita spun around and glared at Stephanie, eyes like fire.

    "That's not all," Joe continued. "I heard Jeff mention something about sleeping with the Commander..."

    Now Lita turned to Jeff, "Is that so?!" she asked, then clenched her jaw and backed away from him as if he had the plague, "I can't believe it! Our wedding day... and I find this out NOW!"

    "Find WHAT out? NOTHING is going on with me and Stephanie!" Jeff started, "I have NO idea what Joe's talking about!"

    Lita began taking deep angry breaths, "So you want to sleep with Stephanie, is that it?!" she shouted, ignoring him. She hiked up her bridal skirt and pulled the garter off her leg, "Maybe you should give THIS to her then!" She threw it at Jeff. He ducked, and the lacy material was caught by Lt. Commander Jericho instead, who was not quite sure what to make of it.

    "Lita... please..." Stephanie began, holding a hand out to her, "Joe is such a BS artist! You can't POSSIBLY believe that Jeff and I are---"

    "SHUT UP!" Lita screamed, and whipped her bouquet at the Chief Engineer. Stephanie quickly put her hands up and caught the bundle of flowers before it hit her in the face. Lita glared at her, "I thought you were my friend! I thought we had gotten over our previous misunderstandings! I thought... I thought..." Lita stopped, "Never mind what I thought. You obviously didn't care!" she snapped, then spun on her heel and headed towards the doors. Jeff began to follow, "STAY AWAY FROM ME!" Lita shouted, "Don't you EVER come near me again! JUST STAY THE HELL AWAY!" With that, Lita headed out of the bar.

    After the initial shock wore off, Jeff bolted through the doors to search for Lita. Stephanie began to follow, until a hand gripped her shoulder gently, "Stay here, Steph..." Ensign Angle spoke.  "Leave him to find Lita on his own,"

    Stephanie turned to Joe and scowled at him, "YOU!" she marched up to him, a small bundle of anger, "How DARE you! If you overheard everything in my quarters on Monday, you'd know Jeff is like a brother to me! Nothing more!"

    Joe put his hands up defensively, "Hey, don't shoot the messenger. I only heard him say he loved you and make a comment about sleeping with you. I ...  I just thought Lita needed to be told. How was I supposed to know it was completely innocent...?"

    Stephanie slapped Joe across the face, "You're SUPPOSED to find out the whole story before you start telling it!"

        Angle pulled Stephanie against him, restraining her flailing arms, "It's ok, Steph... I'm sure Lita and Jeff will work it out. Why don't we take a seat and..." Angle began.

    "Why don't you shut up, Kurt?!" Stephanie snapped, then pulled out of his grip and sat herself down at a chair in the back. She slammed the bouquet on the table angrily.

    Angle quickly went to join her and enlighten her with some olympic stories, trying to calm her anger.

    "Well..." Captain McMahon spoke up, his voice loud enough to be heard over the laughter and comments, "It seems the wedding has been postponed until further notice. Everyone head back to work. Dismissed," with that, he headed out of the bar.

    The crew of the WWF Titanprize who were still on duty followed the Captain's lead.

    Jericho sighed and sat down beside Chyna at the bar, "Well... that was quite interesting," he said, then stared at the garter in his hands, "By the way... what, exactly, is this supposed to represent?"

    "It's an old tradition," Chyna replied, "The man who catches the garter will marry the woman who catches the bouquet---" Chyna paused, then looked at where Stephanie was sitting... with Lita's ruined bouquet,  "Um, Chris," she started.

    "Think I could use this as a slingshot?" he asked, still studying the lacy fabric.

    Chyna was about to point out Stephanie and her bouquet again, but realized it would be a wasted effort. She would enlighten the Y2J Unit later.

ENSIGN LITA'S  QUARTERS

    Lita threw her bridal gown in the nearest disposal chute. Damn Jeff! How could he do this to her? Didn't he realize how much this day meant? Didn't he realize how much it hurt to hear about his liason with Stephanie? What was wrong with him! Why did he even ask for her hand if he was busy drooling over Commander Skankanie McTramp?

    Lita sat on her bed and stared at the wall. The chimes on her door rang, "Lita?" it was Jeff.  Lita remained quiet. She didn't feel like talking to him. Not now. Maybe not ever again. "Lita? Please, if you're in there, open up!"

    Was he pleading? It wouldn't work! Let him think she wasn't around. "Just go away, Jeff..." she thought, "Just go away!"

    He banged on her door, begging her to let him in. She wouldn't relent. After ten minutes, Jeff left.

    Lita grabbed her pillow, and tossed it angrily at the door, allowing a few colourful phrases to escape her lips.

THE SMACKDOWN - later

    The Titanprize bar was exceptionally quiet, though the fact that it was past 0300 hours could have had something to do with it.

    Lt. Bradshaw and Lt. Farooq had taken over Terri's bartending duties as she had turned in for the night.

    Of course, the two security officers were helping themselves more then the patrons.

    "Why does my life suck?" Jeff asked Jericho as he sat at the bar, sipping a synthehol after his search for Lita had been unsuccessful.

    "Because, Jeff..." Jericho replied, "You're an idiot."

    "Thank you, Chris... thank you so much," he groaned, and took a gulp of his drink.

    Jericho looked at the garter still in his hands, and grabbed a peanut out of the dish on the bar. He studied Ensign Angle sitting a few feet away. The Ensign was busy trying to impress Stephanie with some mindless talk of his WrestleFleet accomplishments.

    Jericho pulled back the stretchy lace garter, and slingshot the peanut right at Kurt's bowling-ball head.

    Kurt quickly turned around, and Jericho looked away innocently. The Y2J Unit turned his auditory sensors up as he listened in on Angle's conversation with the Chief Engineer.

    "Kurt?" Stephanie asked. "What are you looking for?"

    Angle turned back to Stephanie, "Nothing. Nothing at all. I ... uh... just felt something weird hit the back of my head,"

    "I'm sure it was just your imagination," Stephanie said, then studied Ensign Hardy at the bar, "Poor Jeff. He's really heartbroken. I don't think I've ever seen him drink like that. He's on his fouth synthehol!"

    Jericho turned back to Ensign Hardy, "You're girlfriend is worried about you..." he said.

    Jeff brightened, "Lita? Where is she?"

    "Not Lita. Stephanie..."

    Jeff frowned, "Not funny, Chris."

    Jericho shrugged, and grabbed another peanut. He aimed it at Angle once more, and let it fly.

    Angle spun around again, and again Jericho looked away.

    "Whatcha' doin'?" Jeff asked, words slightly slurred.

    "Tormenting Kirk," Jericho replied.

    Jeff raised an eyebrow, "Can I try?"

    "Sure!" Jericho handed the garter to Jeff. Jeff put a peanut in it, and let it rip. When Angle spun around, both Jericho and Jeff pretended to be engrossed in their own conversation.

    Jeff smiled, and did it again, "Thisssss' is kinda fun," he said.

    "And you're kinda drunk. Nice aim for a drunk guy, though..." Jericho replied, then grabbed the garter back. He reached into the bowl and took a handful of peanuts, slingshoting all of them  AND the garter itself at Angle, his hands moving so incredibly fast that Jeff got dizzy just watching the Y2J Unit.

    Jeff blinked quickly. "Dizzy isn't good... why is the room spinning?"

    Angle jumped to his feet, "So YOU'RE the one doing it!" Kurt glared accusingly at Jericho. "Stop it!"

    "And what are you going to do if I don't, Kirk?" Jericho asked.

    Kurt stormed up to the Y2J Unit, "Maybe I'll teach you some manners! You have no respect nor any integrity, Mr. Jericho! You're engaging in a childish game and I don't think Miss Stephanie McMahon is impressed!"

    Jericho looked at Stephanie, who was busy covering her face. He could have sworn she was trying not to laugh, "Why don't you ask her, Kirk?"

    "Chris..." Jeff started as he stood up. Boy... he was REALLY dizzy now.

    "I don't NEED to ask her! I know she is a lady of class! She would not approve of your little game!"

    "Chris..." Jeff repeated, swaying on his feet.

    Jericho ignored him and smiled smugly at Angle, "Or maybe she DOES approve. I think Steph likes a guy who isn't afraid to kick back and have fun once in a while... unlike an Olympic dork like yourself,"

    "Chris..." Jeff said for the third time.

    Jericho looked at him, "What is it already?" he asked.

    "I think I'm going to be---" Jeff suddenly pitched forward, and decorated Angle's gold medals with his supper.

    Jericho made a face, "Umm... well... that was mighty disgusting, Jeff," he said, then looked at Angle -- who had suddenly turned an interesting shade of green.

    Angle studied his soiled gold medals, then covered his mouth and ran out of the Smackdown.

    "Man, Jeff... that is SO nasty!" Edge spoke up from a nearby table in the otherwise quiet bar.

    "Like, totally reeking of grossitude," Christian added.

    Jericho rolled his eyes, and turned to Jeff,  "Come on... let's clean you up and get you back to your quarters..."

    "I feel a whole lot better now...." Jeff said with a drunk smile, then promptly passed out at Jericho's feet.

    Jericho stared down at Jeff, shaking his head in pity, "Must suck to have emotions, huh Jeff?"

    Bradshaw leaned over the bar, "Poor bastard can't hold his beer!" Then he frowned, "Is the kid gonna be ok?"

    "He will... if  his true love ever speaks to him again..." Jericho replied, and bent down to lift Jeff into his arms. He then carried the passed-out Ensign out of the Smackdown with inhuman ease.

LITA'S QUARTERS

    "What?!" Lita's voice was hoarse from crying as she replied to the annoying chimes at her door. She sat on her bed and hugged her pillow close.

    "Lita? It's Chris. Can I come in?" Lt. Commander Jericho asked through the door.

    Lita paused, then replied, "Yeah, come in," Jericho did so. "If you're here to talk about Jeff, don't waste your breath!"

    "I'm actually here to talk about YOU and Jeff," he started as he sat on the bed beside her.

    "I don't want to hear it!"

    "You don't want to hear what a mess he was after you dumped him at the alter?" Jericho asked.

    "Let his love, Stephanie, tend to him!"

    "There's nothing going on between Steph and Jeff...." Jericho replied.

    "Steph and Jeff. How cute. Their names even rhyme!" Lita replied, disgusted.

   Jericho sighed. What was he doing trying to patch things up between Lita and Jeff? He knew nothing about human relationships!

    He did, however, know about the truth, "Jeff is NOT in love with Stephanie. And I know for a fact that Stephanie is NOT in love with Jeff!"

    "And how do you know that 'for a fact', Chris?" Lita asked.

    Because..." Jericho paused, and thought back to his dance lesson on the holodeck, and the way Stephanie had looked at him as the song ended.

    "Well?" Lita asked, waiting for an answer.

    "Just trust me, " he replied quickly, "Steph has no romantic feelings for Jeff, ok?"  The Y2J Unit was slowly beginning to understand the reason behind Commander Shane McMahon's order...

    "And what about Jeff, huh Chris? Can you assure me that he has no feelings for Stephanie?" Lita replied, then lowered her head, trying to hide her tears.

    Jericho was at a loss. How does one deal with a  weepy woman? Perhaps if his emotion chip was functional, he would know.

    He took a deep breath, and grabbed a tissue from her night table, "Here," he said. Lita wiped her face, "I know very little about human relationships," Jericho started, "But I've seen Jeff and Stephanie interact with each other on a daily basis. Jeff treats her like a big sister. Nothing more."

    "But..."

    "But WHAT, Lita?" Jericho asked, "Tell me... despite what Joe said, can you honestly claim that Jeff and Stephanie act like they have romantic feelings for one another?"

    "Well..." Lita was hesitant, "I guess not..."

    "What's going on?" a voice asked from the door.

    Lita and Jericho turned to see Jeff looking extremely confused, "Good! You're here. Listen, I think you and Lita need to talk and---"

    "What are you doing in Lita's quarters?" Jeff interrupted, "I thought you were my friend!" Jeff's voice was quiet, and he looked downright heartbroken.

    The Y2J Unit frowned, "Give me a break, Jeff!"

    Jeff looked a bit angry... and still slightly plastered, "I'll give you a break all right!" he replied, making a fist.

    Jericho got to his feet and threw his hands in the air, "OK.... that's it! I give up! You're jealous over her, she's jealous over you," he shook his head, "I'm glad I'm an android. I don't have to worry about stupid things like love and relationships. I'm out of here!" With that, Jericho quickly walked out the door.

    "Jeff?" Lita started, smiling slightly, "I didn't know you got jealous over me!"

    Jeff looked at her, "Well... I guess there's a lot you don't know about me yet..."

    Lita walked up to Jeff, "How about we hold off on the wedding for a bit?" she asked. "We still have a lot to learn about each other..."

    Jeff nodded, "You're right..." he said, then smiled, "But can we pretend like it's our wedding night still?"

    "Jeff?" Lita began, voice a sexy whisper.

    "Yes, Lita?" he replied quietly.

    Lita brought her face close to his. He could feel her warm breath on his cheek, and she spoke the next three words so sweetly, "You're an idiot..."