Narrator: In Greenwich, New McMahonopolis, there sits a large estate belonging to one of the richest and most respected men in the city. He is the owner of the infamous Fortune 500 corporation, Helmsley-Corp; and the estranged husband of New McMahonopolis's first daughter, Stephanie McMahon.

(Inside the Helmsley Estate, the scruffy-looking dark-haired servant X-Pac comes up to a well-groomed man sitting at the kitchen table. The seated man oozes money and power, his blonde hair tied back into a ponytail. This is the one and only, Hunter Hearst Helmsley)

X-Pac: Your Helmsley-Corp. papers, Triple H (hands Hunter a booklet of papers). These need your autograph ASAP if you want to put that new Employee contract into effect.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley: (reading aloud) Maximum push potential shall not exceed mid-card status, despite work ethic, or talent (turns to X-Pac) That's fair, no? It's not like these marks have anywhere ELSE to work. And if they don't like it, they can quit and go join an Indy fed somewhere! (Hunter signs the papers) Now, did you take care of my OTHER piece of business?

X-Pac: Other piece of business? OH YES! (hands Hunter a large object. It is a sledgehammer)

Hunter: (taking the sledgehammer and admiring it) Did you sand the handle and buff the head like I asked?

X-Pac: Yeah… yeah! So, when do I get to use it?

Hunter: YOU? This is MY weapon. No one is to touch Sledgy but me! Is that understood?

X-Pac: Sledgy? (X-Pac snickers)

Hunter: You got a problem with the name, Pac?

X-Pac (sobbering up): No man… no problem.

Hunter: Good. I'm preparing sledgy for the soon-to-be-ex.

X-Pac: You mean Stephanie?

Hunter: Do I have any OTHER soon-to-be-exes?

X-Pac (confused): What, you're gonna give her the sledgehammer?

Hunter: (dangerously) Oh, she'll get it alright.

X-Pac: Ahhh… I see what you're driving at! I'll be right by your side when you attack, Trip!

Hunter: (feigning shock) Attack? A man of my political standing would NEVER lower himself to that level, no matter how much hatred he had for the Estranged ball-and-chain. In fact, I don't plan on laying a hand on her. (A cold smile crosses his lips). Get my phone book, X. I need to make a call.

***

Nidia: (holding up a recent edition of "The Daily Smackdown" and reading the headline to Gregory Helms) Beautiful Heiress visits New McMahonopolis. (she frowns) How did YOU get an interview with the Governor's daughter?

Gregory: I simply contacted her agent and asked.

Nidia: Oh come on… what did you promise in return?

Gregory: Nothing. I offered her a fair interview, that's all. Stephanie McMahon had quite a story to tell. If you read that article, you'll see how her estranged husband used her emotions to manipulate her into giving him half her money and political power.

Nidia: What are you talking about? Helmsley is the richest man in New McMahonopolis!

Gregory: Helmsley's riches and success only came AFTER he married Stephanie. That poor woman was used and abused by him.

Nidia: Awww, look at little Gregory. Taking a personal interest in his interviewee.

Gregroy: You had to be there, Nidia. You should have seen the tears in her eyes. Heard the pain in her voice when she talked about her failed marriage. Now if you'll excuse me (Gregory turns back to his computer).

Nidia: First you scoop Hurricane, now you scoop Stephanie McMahon. What's your secret?

Gregory: (he shrugs) Maybe it's just my southern charm?

Nidia: Oh, you mean being a hick from Ass-crack Nowhere actually works?

Gregory (muttering under his breath): Better then being a skank from Big Bertha's Trailer Park

Nidia: (leaning very close and showing off her cleavage) What was that, Gregory? I didn't hear you.

Gregory (clearing his throat): Uh, nothing, Nidia. I didn't say anything (he smiles innocently). Um… I gotta finish this article for tomorrow, or Bishoff will have my head, so… if you don't mind? (he nervously adjusts his glasses)

Nidia: Oh, I mind alright. But don't worry, Greg. I have a little story of my own that I'm working on! And I'm not as soft-hearted -- or as soft-HEADED -- as YOU are.

***

Nidia: (holding pen to paper) So, how many men do you allege Stephanie had on the side?

Hunter: (counting on his fingers) There was an Olympic gold medalist, then some wannabe rock star, and I'm sure several of her current employees receive special overtime pay.

Nidia (crossing her legs and showing off as much as she can in her mini-skirt): You poor, poor man, how awful to have such an unfaithful woman (she smiles slyly) If I came home to someone like you, I wouldn't NEED anyone else.

Hunter: Yes, well that's what I thought too. I am an overnight success. ANY woman would be happy to have me (he leans forward in his chair) Look around you. Do you think I gathered all these riches sitting on my ass all day? No. I EARNED it through hard work and perseverance! (he stands up and goes to his display case). You see these golden belts? Titles and trophies I've rightfully won. Stephanie never appreciated that though.

(Nidia crosses the room, standing as close as possible to the muscular millionaire)

Nidia: (seductively as she grasps his hand and holds it to her chest, pretending to be sympathetic) I know I would appreciate it …

Hunter (eyeing her with interest): I'm sure you would. You appear to be a woman of taste, unlike my estranged wife.

Nidia: Some women just can't see what's right in front of their faces

***

Eric Bishoff: Great interview with Helmsley, Nidia!

Nidia: Thank you, Mr. Bishoff.

Bishoff: You're very welcome! Keep it up, and I may just have to give you a raise.

Nidia (giggling like a school girl): Oh Mr. Bishoff (runs a hand along her hip, making sure her curves are noticed), you're such a tease!

(Gregory, who is witnessing this display, is forced to bite his tongue as Bishoff smiles and heads back into his office)

(Nidia slinks up to Gregory and dangles today's edition between two manicured fingernails as she bends over with purpose)

Nidia: A raise, Greg. I bet YOU never got a raise!

Gregory (not amused): I wouldn't get my hopes too high, Nidia. Besides, I'd rather be poor then write an interview full of lies.

Nidia: LIES?

Gregory: Yes, lies. I don't trust Helmsley's word on anything, especially his Estranged wife

Nidia: You're just jealous because he's rich and handsome and you're… (looks at him, disgusted) well… you're NEITHER.

Gregory: (shrugs) What can I say? I'm happy merely being a mild-mannered and HONEST reporter.

Nidia (rolling her eyes): Whatever

(Gregory gets to his feet, gathering his notepad and jacket)

Nidia: Where are you going?

Gregory: You don't think Stephanie McMahon just came to town to see the Governor, do you? She's here to help him dedicate the new WWE City Hall. (Nidia's mouth drops open) Oh dear, you seemed to have missed the memo. (sneaks a glance over his shoulder at Nidia's copy of the memo, which is crumpled in his wastebasket) I'm so sorry, Nidia. I had no idea. I volunteered to cover the story already. I have to go (he quickly heads off, leaving Nidia fuming).

***

(A young brunette stands at a podium beside the Governor of New McMahonopolis, Mr. Vince McMahon. She is in her mid-twenties. Rather pretty. She seems very happy to be there, a large smile on her face as she holds a pair of golden scissors. This is Stephanie McMahon)

Stephanie: On behalf of my father and all the citizens of New McMahonopolis, I dedicate the WWE City Hall! (she cuts the ribbon to much applause)

(We see a tall man sneaking through the crowd. This is assassin-for-hire, Kevin Nash, code named "Big Lazy" by authorities)

Nash: How about I dedicate something? (Nash jumps on the podium beside Stephanie and grabs the scissors. Stephanie screams). How about I dedicate your throat to New McMahonopolis? (He holds the scissors to her neck).

(Gregory is in attendance, stuck in a swarm of reporters all trying to get the same story. He realizes it is time to jump into action)

Gregory: Um, excuse me… (he tries to navigate through the crowd, politely apologizing for his rudeness).

(Nidia watches Gregory leave, and frantically grabs a pen and paper, writing everything down as it happens)

Nidia: If HE doesn't want the story, I'LL take it!

Unseen voice: STAND BACK! There's a Hurricane coming through!

(Nidia groans)

(Hurricane jumps on the podium, a few feet away from Nash and Stephanie)

Hurricane: How about you put the scissors down and allow Citizen Stephanie to go free?

Nash: Yeah right! I'm getting paid to do a job, and I'll damn well do it!

(Hurricane raises an eyebrow)

Hurricane: A job, you say? Is this the first time you've ever jobbed for anyone, Nash?

Narrator: Our hero seems familiar with this vile lowlife known as Kevin Nash. How, you ask? Could it be because one Gregory Helms has written several articles on this well known assassin-for-hire? Or possibly some other reason? (Nash shoves Stephanie to the ground)

Nash: Who the hell are you? Some little green man from another planet?

Hurricane: Well… Yes…

Nash: Why don't you make like a UFO and FLY then!

(Nash grabs Hurricane and flings him into the crowd. Hurricane is unable to pick up the wind and ends up landing on something rather soft)

Nidia: GET OFF ME!

Hurricane: Did I just land on the human mattress?

(Nidia tries to push Hurricane away)

Nidia: Human mattress? (fumes) GET OFF! NOW!

(Hurricane climbs to his feet, not bothering to help Nidia up. He then leaps towards the podium once again. The fight begins)

Narrator: Nash power slams Hurricane and attempts the pin, but our hero kicks out at two. Hurricane retaliates with a clothesline, but Nash is back up now, going for the jackknife power-bomb. But what's this? Mah gawd -- Hurricane has maneuvered out of the power-bomb into a Hurricanrana! But Nash is not swayed! He's back up, attacking with a flurry of fists! Hurricane is rocked! Nash slams him to hell right through the wooden podium!

As god is my witness, The Hurricane is broken in half! How much punishment can a body take? Is this our hero's last stand? Say it isn't so, Hurricane! Say it isn't so

(Nidia watches the fight, licking her lips gleefully at Hurricane's pain)

Nidia (screeching): KILL HIM, Nash! C'mon, KILL HIM!

Narrator: Hurricane is stumbling to his feet. The heart of this young kid is incredible, fans! But now Nash is going for the boot to the face but--what's this? Nash has collapsed! Nash is holding his knee, ladies and gentlemen! Yes, Big Lazy appears to be injured. Injured by his own move! In all my days, I have never seen anything like this!

Ladies and Gentlemen, The Hurricane has saved the day again!

Nidia (having a hissy fit): Damnit!

***

Hunter: (watching the news with X-Pac) It seems the assassination attempt on Stephanie failed.

X-Pac: Yeah. Good thing, huh? Although if she died, all her remaining millions would have gone to YOU since the divorce isn't final yet.

Hunter: (glaring at X-Pac) You think, Pac? (smacks X-Pac upside the head) Dumbass. (He grows serious) Of course, you know I had nothing to do with this attempt on Stephanie's life, right?

X-Pac (furrowing his brow): But I thought you WANTED her dead! (A glare from Hunter shuts him up). Uh, right. Right, you had nothing to do with it. Gotcha.

Hunter: Anyway, my thoughts on my estranged wife are unimportant right now. There's something else that interests me more (turns to X-Pac) I want you to find out all you can about this Hurricane character. He seems to enjoy getting involved in other people's business.

(Hunter glares at the TV, a freeze-frame of the Hurricane filling the screen. A look of recognition crosses his face, then a mask of anger)

Hunter: Superheroes who get involved in other people's business may find themselves regretting their actions in the near future.

To be Continued