Fireworks
"Peregrine Took and Merriadoc Brandybuck. I might have known." Gandalf
looked down at the two culprits, both now covered with soot and with their
hair standing on end. They grinned sheepishly up at him, both heads cocked
to one side by the large hand that held them each by one ear.
The hands slipped slightly as Gandalf looked around to make sure that the
party was up and running again after the impromptu dragon attack but quickly
re-closed on two collars when the culprits tried to make use of his apparent
inattention and escape.
Having reassured himself that everything was fine again and that he was free
to deal with his little troublemakers he promptly marched them off to the
back of the supper tent which was now empty, everyone having scattered
during the 'dragon' attack and then congregated in the beer tent to settle
their nerves.
He released them once inside and then stood looking down at them, wondering
what to do with them this time and checking them over visually to make sure
they were all right after their close encounter with the dragon.
Having encountered an unhappy Gandalf before, both hobbits had a pretty good
idea of where this was going and they stood side by side in front of him,
both with their hands behind their backs, protecting the part of their
anatomy viewed as being in the most danger.
Having reassured himself that they were undamaged, for now, Gandalf set off
proceedings asking,
"Would you like to tell me what exactly the two of you thought you were
doing?"
"Well it's like this," Merry started.
"Yes its like this," Pippin echoed.
"What was it like?" Merry muttered to Pippin, trying to get him to continue.
"You started," Pippin responded, in no way anxious to take over the
explanations.
"Yes, but it was your idea."
"It was not! You wanted to look at the fireworks."
"And you wanted to take one!"
"Well you said take the big one!"
By now both hobbits had forgotten their audience and the fact that they were
supposed to be in disgrace and were settling in for a full-scale argument.
They were quickly reminded of the wizard's presence, however, when large,
familiar hands once more caught their collars. Gandalf had heard enough.
Since they obviously weren't in the mood to listen to the scolding he had in
mind for them then they might was well feel it instead.
All things being equal, that was usually a more effective option with this
pair anyway. What went in one ear tended to blow straight out of the other
but lesson's delivered to the seat of their pants sometimes stayed longer.
Without bothering to explain himself, since they were undoubtedly familiar
with the routine and could be in no doubt what they had done wring, Gandalf
grabbed each hobbit by the scruff of the neck and quickly bent them over the
edge of the counter.
Suddenly finding themselves turned around and bent over with their feet far
from the ground rapidly brought Pippin and Merry to their senses. Their
hands shot back to protect their bottoms and both began promising eternal
good behaviour and ceaseless hard work in the hope of a last minute
reprieve.
"We'll even wash up tonight," Merry promised
"Yes everything," Pippin echoed.
"Just us," Merry finished.
"I'm delighted to hear it." Gandalf answered genially. "Now if you'd just
move those hands we can get this over and done with and you can get on with
your clearing up."
"No!" they wailed. "Please"
Chuckling a little as he did so, Gandalf gently moved the hands away from
his targets. Surrendering to the inevitable, both boys then buried their
faces in their arms and waited for the axe to fall.
They didn't have long to wait. Spotting a discarded wooden spoon, Gandalf
picked it up and brought it down firmly, first on one bottom and then the
other. Twin wails rose up, quickly followed by more as he systematically
tanned both bottoms, striking each in turn until the noise inside the tent
threatened to drown out the party outside.
Determined that they should learn their lesson but also aware that they were
likely to be somewhat shaken up by their brush with the large firework,
Gandalf was thorough but mercifully brief. In no time at all the boys found
themselves once again standing side by side in front of the stern looking
wizard holding their bottoms, though for a different reason this time.
Doing his utmost to maintain his forbidding demeanour he scowled down at
them and then indicated the piles of washing up behind them.
"You still have work to do I believe," he said. As they stood and looking up
at him, aghast at his apparent intention to punish them again, he smiled and
ruffled their hair but then turned them around and encouraged them on their
way with a small swat to each rear saying "Since you made such a mess
outside, I was delighted to hear you offer to clear up in here to make
amends."
Twisting away from the possibility of further swats they quickly ran to do
his bidding, muttering quietly to themselves about mean, overbearing, hard
handed old men and hoping he'd go away and leave them alone now so they
could sneak away and hide.
Gandalf however was taking no further chances with them that night.
He settled himself down in one corner, got out his pipe, and amused himself
with blowing smoke rings, keeping them in sight but apparently taking no
further notice of them.
Since it was clear that they would not be able to get away, Merry and Pippin
decided that their best option was to work as fast as they could to finish
the hated chore so they could go find somewhere quiet to feel sorry for
themselves in peace. When they put their minds to it they were capable
workerss and so quickly finished the washing and clearing. Bringing the
last pile of dishes back to the table, Merry stopped to rub his still very
sore bottom, whilst casting a reproachful look at Gandalf.
Seeing that the old man didn't look quite as forbidding as before and that
the twinkle was back in his eye the hobbit slowly approached wanting to
talk, quickly followed by his friend.
"We really are very sorry," he said shyly.
"Yes, we really are," Pippin added.
"No more touching what doesn't belong to you?" Gandalf asked trying to look
stern but finding it hard to maintain.
"No sir," came the instant response.
"Then go enjoy the rest of the party." The wizard smiled at them.
Giving a whoop both hobbits turned towards the tent opening, stopped for a
moment, exchanged a glance and then, as one, turned and threw themselves on
Gandalf. Taken by surprise but still retaining his wits, he caught them and
soon had a penitent hobbit on each knee hugging him and telling him how
sorry they were.
He hugged them both back, assured them that they were forgiven and then
promised to let them help the next time he brought fireworks (feeling that
it might be easier to keep them under control if they were under his eye
next time) provided they promised to behave.
This, of course, they solemnly promised but not even the attention's of a
spoon wielding wizard weren't enough to dampen Pippin and Merry's spirits
for long and they were soon arguing again about who would light the best
fireworks next time.
Laughing at their antics Gandalf finally set them down and sent them on
their way with another swat each to their bottoms that had them out of the
tent rubbing their behinds but grinning at him over their shoulders.
End