Oubliette: Reprise

by Xraycat





Category: Angst, Friendship

Rating: G

Disclaimer: The characters as well as the original stoyline belong to C.C. and C. I'm not earning anything.

Notes: Oubliette has long been one of my favorite episodes. I decided to take it a step further.

Synopsis: Fox has issues concerning the death of Lucy Householder. Walter is determined to help.



Several days had passed since the death of Lucy Householder. Amy Jacobs had been returned to her family, completely unharmed. The doctors were amazed. Amy exhibited no signs of exposure, injury or more importantly, drowning.

The family didn't question their good fortune. They were unwilling to look deeper into the mystery. Their daughter was home safe, and the matter was closed.

Fox Mulder was not so willing to let the matter go. Lucy Householder had given her life to save Amy Jacobs. Fox had insisted Lucy help with the investigation. He had been obsessed with finding Amy and took whatever steps were necessary to reach his goal. At what cost? A woman's life. The price was too high. Lucy Householder was dead and he was responsible.

Dana had tried to help. She told him Lucy's connection to Amy had been triggered by Karl Wade but Fox had been the conductor. Lucy was able to pinpoint Amy's location by drawing on his energies. This knowledge hurt Fox. Dana had no idea, but she had confirmed his suspicions. If he had left Lucy out of the investigation, as she begged him to do, she would still be alive.

Fox had not discussed his feelings with anyone. When Dana questioned him about his mood, he denied having a problem. He'd make an effort to smile and behave as if nothing was bothering him. He began to look haggard, as if he wasn't sleeping. He was often withdrawn and inattentive. Dana watched him closely but decided to wait a little longer before broaching the subject again.

Walter approached Dana first. He'd called Dana's apartment, "Do you have any idea why Fox has been so quiet lately? He hasn't said two words to me, these last few days." Walter's concern was apparent even over the telephone.

Dana was relieved to have an opportunity to talk to someone. She told Walter about the peculiar case, "I think Fox blames himself for Lucy Householder's death. He pushed her so hard. Lucy didn't want to help us. She only agreed to cooperate after the local police named her as a suspect. Fox knew she and Amy Jacobs were linked in some fashion and hounded her until she helped him."

Walter sounded grim, "What happened? How did this Householder woman die?"

"I can't explain what actually happened," Dana answered. "We found Wade and Amy in the river. He was holding her head under water. One of the locals shot and killed him." Dana took a deep breath, "Fox fished Amy's body from the water. She was dead, Walter! I'm absolutely sure of it. No pulse or respiration. Fox initiated CPR, but I made him stop after several minutes." Dana sounded confused, not sure of the validity of her statements, "Amy suddenly began breathing on her own. She recovered completely! Right before our eyes! When Fox saw this, he knew immediately what was happening. He ran back to Wade's house. Lucy Householder was already dead. The paramedics hadn't been able to save her." Dana spoke softly, "When I got there, Fox was kneeling by the stretcher touching Lucy's face and apologizing to her. He was crying. I tried to talk to him but he ignored me. He stayed with her body until they loaded it into the ambulance." Dana sounded puzzled, "The autopsy showed she had more than five liters of river water in her lungs! Which is impossible since she was sitting in a car with an armed guard the entire time we were c hasing Wade and Amy." Dana paused for a moment, "Fox has been brooding since. I know he feels responsible, but he won't talk to me."

"I'll make him talk to me," Walter proclaimed. "Fox can't continue to tear himself apart over this."

Dana was instantly relieved, "I hope you have better luck than I've had. Do you want me to be there when you approach him?"

Walter declined her offer, "No. I'm going to his apartment, now. He won't be expecting me. I want to catch him off guard."

"Call, if you need my help," Dana offered.

"Thanks. I'll get back to you in the morning," Walter concluded. He grabbed his wallet and car keys from the dresser and was out the door.

During the drive from Crystal City, Walter tried to figure out what he should say. He couldn't accuse Fox of anything. He had to find a way to relieve Fox's guilt, without allowing him to accept blame. Walter recognized the similarities of the case and Samantha's disappearance. Fox was too emotionally involved. He couldn't separate his feelings from the facts. Walter found an empty space in the lot, locked the car, and entered Fox's building. Rapping sharply on the apartment door, Walter chose not to announce himself. Fox might not be interested in entertaining, if he knew who was waiting to come in. Hearing Fox unlock the door, Walter stepped closer. Fox wasn't going to get the chance to shut the door in his face.

When Fox saw who had knocked he immediately tried to close the door, but Walter shouldered his way inside. Fox walked away and sat on the couch. He didn't look at Walter again.

Walter moved to stand directly in front of Fox, "We need to talk. No...that's not right. You need to talk and I'll listen."

Fox continued to stare stonily past Walter. He said nothing.

Walter squatted to make eye contact, "This is getting us nowhere, Fox. I want to know what's been bothering you. I'm not leaving. You have no place to go. Stalemate. I want you to talk to me."

Fox glared at his friend, "I have nothing to say. I'm fine. You wasted a trip into the city, as well as all this macho posturing." He turned his head and stared out the window.

Walter grabbed a handful of Fox's hair and pulled him back, "What is wrong with you, boy? Don't make me angry, or you'll see some 'macho posturing', as you so aptly named it." He waited patiently, his hand still entwined in Fox's dark hair, "What's wrong? I'll listen to everything you tell me, Fox. I won't get angry and I won't interrupt."

Fox was exhausted. He felt his resistance fading. "Walter," he gasped. "I killed her. I killed Lucy Householder."

Walter felt his heart breaking. The anguish in Fox's voice was almost more than he could bear. He forced himself to remain silent and allow Fox to continue.

Fox rationalized his confession: Walter would find out what a horrible thing he had done and he would be punished. Whatever Walter did to him, he deserved worse, "I saved one life by taking another!"

Walter released his grip, "Fox. Slow down," he soothed. "Tell me what happened. How did *you* kill Lucy?" He sat on the coffee table across from Fox.

Fox began to speak rapidly. The words tumbled out as if a dam inside him had broken, "Lucy was somehow linked to Amy Jacobs. She was experiencing everything that happened to Amy, starting with the abduction!" Fox was becoming more animated, "I knew that Lucy could help us. I insisted that she help. I pushed her and kept pushing until she consented." He dropped his head, "When she finally led us to Wade's house the locals took her into custody, thinking she was Wade's accomplice. I did nothing to stop them." Fox smiled bitterly, "Dana and I joined the manhunt. I pulled Amy's body from the water, after Wade had been shot. I tried to revive her but Dana pushed me off. She said that Amy was dead and I couldn't help her." He looked at Walter trying to make him understand. "I was obsessed. *I* had to bring Amy home. Nothing else mattered. Lucy knew this. She recognized my motive form the start," he looked closely at Walter. "Lucy had been through so much. She was just so tired and heartsick," Fox looked haunted. "She felt that Amy's life was more important than her own. I'm sure I fostered this idea," Fox rasped. His voice was rusty. He swallowed and continued reluctantly, "Lucy gave up. She traded places with Amy. Lucy died so Amy could live. When I realized what was happening, I went back as fast as I could. I was too late." Fox gripped Walter's arms urgently, "I killed her. She would still be alive if not for me! We could have found Amy without Lucy's help! I forced her and now Lucy Householder is dead."

Walter sat perfectly still. He stared intently at Fox for a moment, then spoke calmly, "Fox, you did nothing wrong. Lucy Householder made her decision. I can't begin to understand her link with Amy and I'm not going to try." Taking Fox's hands in his own, he gripped them firmly, "You need to understand," he paused wanting Fox's full attention. "Lucy *chose* to trade places with Amy. You were no longer a part of the equation. Didn't you just tell me how unhappy she was?" Walter placed strong emphasis on his next statement, "Lucy helped you, as well." He asked in a much softer tone, "Don't you think she received some pleasure in exchange for her sacrifice? Her final contribution in life was a positive one. Lucy Householder single-handedly, enabled you to return Amy Jacobs to her family." He felt Fox relax, "I think she died happy, don't you? I know she's not suffering any longer."

Fox looked hopeful, "Do you think so? She deserves some peace." His eyes filled, "Lucy needs to rest. Her whole life was so hard," he added pitifully.

"You need to rest, too." Walter clasped Fox's shoulders, "You've not had a very easy life either, Fox." He pulled gently, attempting to embrace his weary friend. Fox resisted, but Walter wouldn't be denied, "Stop fighting, Fox. Come here."

Fox allowed himself to be enveloped by Walter's strong arms, his face pressed against the larger man's shoulder.

Walter rubbed his back, tenderly, "You are not to blame, Fox. You did nothing wrong, and you have no reason to feel guilty," he murmured softly into Fox's ear. Fox began to tremble and Walter tightened his hold slightly, "It's okay to grieve for Lucy. Someone should mourn her passing." Walter felt spasms contracting Fox's chest.

Fox buried his face in Walter's neck. Walter was right. Lucy had earned his grief.

Walter held Fox as he wept. He remained silent waiting until Fox's tears subsided, "You have a good heart, Fox Mulder. Don't ever feel guilty for doing the right thing. Choices have to be made sometimes. The Jacobs' have Amy home safe and sound. You and Lucy made it possible."

Fox nodded, "I think I understand." A single tear slipped sown his cheek, "I hope Lucy's happy with her decision. She brought so much joy to the Jacobs. Do you think she knows?"

Walter smiled, "Yes, Fox. I think Lucy knows. I think you've made her happy today, too. She knows she's not been forgotten. Someone cares that she's gone."

Fox offered a sad smile, "I hope so, Walter. I want her to be happy more than anything else."

End