Misadventures of a Young Special Agent in Training
A Rocky Beginning
Rating: PG, AU, Discipline, no slash.
Summary: AD Walter Skinner was reluctant to take a child to raise and train to be a special agent.
Disclaimer: The characters of Fox Mulder, Dana Scully, Walter Skinner, et al belong to 1013 Productions and I and will make no money from their use.
Note from the Authors: This is the pilot chapter of a series called "Misadventures of a young special agent in training". We took the doctor's name from one of DiAnn's wonderful stories called Painful X-periences XIII Doctor's orders. DiAnn was not among us anymore but we're sure that her work will continue to live inside the hearts of all Persuaders.
Miss Kimberley Cook was working on the computer when the door to her room opened brusquely and her boss Assistant Director Captain Walter Skinner entered the office looking very angry.
"I don't want to be disturbed by anything in the next hour, Kimberly. No phone calls, no papers to sign, nothing," he said in a terse voice through clenched teeth.
She nodded. To empty space. // Poor Captain! He must have had some very bad news! //
Walter sat at his desk with his head buried in his hands. // I can't believe James did that to me! // "Welcome to fatherhood" were his exact words. The old fool! James knew him too well not to know how he would feel about taking a child to raise and train to be a special agent. It's not that he didn't like children quite the opposite but live with one every day for the next fifteen years was a different matter entirely. He had built a brilliant career in the decade since he had graduated from the FBI Academy, his recent promotion to AD at 37 years old proof of his merit and dedication. // What possible role could a child play in my very well organized life? // He replayed this morning's scene inside his head over and over.
"James, I refuse to participate in such a ridiculous idea!"
"You don't quite understand, Walter. I'm not giving you a choice here, I'm ordering you. If it makes things easier for you, think about training the child as another case!"
"Then I QUIT!"
// I yelled in desperation at the determined look on James's face. It had always been this way between us. When my former Captain decided that I must do something, no pleading or any amount of reasoning on my part could dissuade him from his decision. I had to obey him or face the consequences of my disobedience, usually on my bottom. //
His heated outburst had sounded false even to his own ears and hadn't fooled his Captain for one minute. With a knowing smile James had thrown a dossier which contained all the pertinent information about his trainee-to-be for him to get acquainted with. It had been a bluff and James knew that very well. FBI had been his life for almost twenty five years and he couldn't imagine what he would be if not a special agent.
At this point Walter lifted his head and studied the file in front of him. // So Walter what's going to be? Train the child or leave everything you know and love behind you forever? Well I guess there's only one way to find out. // He sighed noisily before opening the file and starting to read.
"FOX WILLIAM MULDER, boy, 12 years old."
Walter Skinner was having a hard time with his recently acquired trainee. The boy had fled to hide under the bed the minute after he had mentioned a visit to Dr. Ramsey for a routine physical evaluation.
"Come on Fox, come out from under there."
"No! I don't need to see a doctor. I'm not sick!"
Walter passed a hand over his face and let out a sigh of sheer annoyance through his lips. He was at an impasse. After the initial shyness of their first week together, the boy seemed to constantly defy every instruction he gave him. It often seemed as though he were struggling to settle in. Fox only complied in response to threats of losing privileges, of writing lines, of standing in the corner, of doing extra house chores, of being grounding, of having to go to bed earlier and of a spanking. The latter one had literally only be a threat. Although sometimes the boy really tried his patience and he had felt his right hand tingle more than once, he hadn't had the heart to put his threat into action. Yet.
To be completely honest, he felt a small pang of guilt at the way he had treated the boy so far. He had been compelled to accept him by his former Captain and was angry at the impossible situation. It had nothing to do with the boy himself. To tell the truth the little tyke was such a charmer that it was impossible not to fall under his spell. He had however kept him at a distance. That first night he had set a list of rules for the boy to follow which Fox executed without a flaw for the first week. Then the boy's true nature started to show and Walter realized he had a rebel on his hands and things started to become difficult between them. In truth he felt attached to the boy in a way he couldn't fully yet understand or explain, although he resented him somewhat for disturbing his very well organized life. He knew it was irrational but he couldn't change his way of thinking.
// What right did the boy have to give me that kind of trouble after I'd explained what was expected from him? //
What Walter expected was full obedience to his orders. The boy had to study hard until he graduated to Senior Cadet and then be able to accompany him into field action, be mindful of his teachings and preferably not make his presence felt very much until he was a young man who could stand by himself. Walter hated to have to nurse someone to maturity especially during the troubled adolescent years. He didn't really have the patience or the drive to do that. Walter interrupted his thoughts at this point to gaze irritably in the bed's direction.
// I'll show you my boy that two can play that game. Sooner or later you'll have to come out from there and then we're going to have a very serious talk. // He sat at the armchair near the door to wait, still angry.
From under his dark hiding place Fox observed his tutor's legs twitching impatiently with a concerned look. Should he come out from here and face Captain Skinner's anger or should he wait a little longer? The difficult decision was made by a sudden cramp in his right leg. Unable to hold out a minute longer, Fox sneaked out from under the bed and stood up furiously rubbing the afflicted leg to get rid of the painful numbness. His Captain didn't lose any time and roughly grasped his left arm straightening him up and securely keeping him in place.
"You naughty boy! I'm going to teach you a very long overdue lesson in respect and obedience which for your own sake you shouldn't soon forget."
"No, leave me alone!" Fox twisted sharply in the hard grip in an attempt to free himself.
Shaking the boy once hard without letting go of his arm, Walter turned Fox around to be in direct eye contact, a big frown over his face, and pointed a finger to the boy's face. He spat angrily, "You do as I say the moment I tell you to do it. And when you fail to comply you can always expect swift retribution." Walter then swatted Fox's backside hard as he dragged him towards the armchair, a suggestion of what would momentarily be his fate.
"NO!" Fox made a desperate movement and sank his teeth on his Captain's hand. The unexpected pain and attitude took Walter by surprise and he loosened his grip on the boy's arm. The moment he was free, Fox dashed out to the small internal corridor towards the sitting room where they watched tv at nights. Having recovered from the initial shock at his pupil's attack, Walter now in a genuine blind rage fell in pursuit of the little miscreant only a few seconds later. He reached the room and stopped dead on his tracks as he spotted Fox holding his thick leather slipper in his right hand in a menacing manner. The boy had probably tried to open the door but in his frenzy to run away he had forgotten that the key wasn't in the lock but on the cupboard. Walter intended to make a copy of the key tomorrow to give to him.
"Don't come near me!"
"Drop it, boy. If you know what's good for you, drop that slipper now!" Walter roared out of control. How dared the little pest raise a slipper to him? He had been too lenient with the little monster and this was his reward.
// But things are going to change drastically, my boy. I'm going to teach you a lesson you'll never forget. //
Walter started to move when he felt an object hiss near his right ear. He then heard the heavy thud of his slipper when it hit the wall behind him. Walter's temper was boiling now and in a hot fury he bent to retrieve his slipper from the floor where it landed.
"You disrespectful little brat. You seem so interested in my slipper that "I'll" be very interested to see how you like it when it's reddening your impudent bottom."
Fox didn't have the opportunity to protest or react as he was harshly pulled forward by the front of his nightshirt and found himself face down over strong thighs looking at the carpet.
Walter impatiently yanked the pyjama trousers down past the boy's knees baring the white rounded cheeks. He lifted the slipper high in the air and started to spank in earnest oblivious to the miserable sobs, landing smack after smack over the pristine globes which were turning pinkish and then a deep kind of reddish after each hard blow until Fox was whimpering completely defeated over his lap.
After the uncontrollable wave of raw fury had calmed down, Walter came up to his senses and gasped in horror at the display of the red blotched youthful bottom he had spanked. How could he have lost his control so completely? What was he thinking to spank a child in this way? He carefully pulled the boy up adjusting his trousers back in place and looked at the sorrowful eyes.
"Are you okay?" Walter asked with a heavy heart and awkwardly brushed a lock of black hair away from the boy's wet face.
"Don't touch me!" Fox yelled in a mixture of fear and anger ducking his head to avoid the comforting touch.
"Fox I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to spank you this way," Walter admitted deeply ashamed and hurt from the fear in the boy's face.
"I hate you! I don't want to stay here with you anymore." Fox shouted back and then retreated to his own room, slamming the door when he passed through it.
Walter closed his eyes trying to contain the tears that were threatening to spill and sat dejectedly on the floor.
// What have I done? //
He was at a loss for what to do. Wiping the fresh tears off his face with the back of his hand he did the only thing he could think of. He rang his best friend, his former Captain and foster father, James Whitefield.
Thirty minutes later Director Whitefield opened the front door of Walter's apartment.
"Kid, where are you?" He yelled in a strong voice filled with worry.
James Whitefield wasn't what one would call a handsome man even though his unusual height and smiling blue eyes snatched some deep sighs wherever he passed. In his mid fifties James was still a strong and very active man betraying his age only by some traces of silver on his temples which he insisted on was the result of raising one certain wild child to be a special agent. He also had a very inconvenient habit to call his former trainee "kid", much to Walter's embarrassment.
"Here James, in the sitting room."
Something inside James buzzed in alarm at hearing the defeat in his "kid"s voice. "What happened?"
Walter made a weak gesture of greeting from where he was sitting on the floor, his eyes distant and bright with tears. "It's over James. I'm sending Fox away."
"Walter, I can't believe you mean that!"
"There's no other choice James. I'm unable to rear a child. I'm giving him up. And please don't say anything. It's my decision and I'm only informing you of it."
"You're completely wrong there, kid. I care deeply for you so I think I have a right to say some truths to you, even if you don't want to hear them."
"LEAVE ME ALONE!" Walter's face was distorted with fury and self-pity and to those who knew him well there was a haunted look in his eyes.
"No, Walter! YOU are going to listen to me!" James shouted back, frustration coloring his voice. He gripped Walter by both of his arms and gave him a hard shake to get his attention.
"Kid, let me say something that I should have said to you a long time ago. You brought great joy into my life Walter, and there's absolutely no reason why Fox couldn't bring that kind of joy to yours too. I always regretted that you discovered about your life before you became eligible to be a FBI trainee and were taken to one of the creches. You felt then that you weren't worth of any kind of love and that was the real truth behind your rebellion and stubborn desire for independence that was so strong in you when you were twelve years old. But I could see through you from the beginning and understood that all that toughness hid a very well kept desire of just being loved. You aren't guilty of anything. I think that your mother was the most foolish person in the world for not wanting you and she definitely didn't deserve you. Truth be told I'm glad she didn't because then you wouldn't be part of me now and my life would have certainly been poorer." James shook him again. "I love you, kid, very much indeed."
The passionate declaration knocked down the last barrier of hurt and fear and unchained a riot of suppressed feelings kept over all those years and Walter broke into a torrent of cleansing tears.
James knelt beside him. "Kid, I know it hurts and that you're frightened but so is Fox. How could you expect him to trust and respect you if you continue to keep him away from you. You didn't open your heart to him and he's feeling lost and confused. You said to me that in spite of your difficulties you were feeling attached to him in a way you couldn't explain. But you can, Walter. It's commitment, it's care and it's love. LOVE! Do you understand me? You already love the boy but your fear of being rejected or not being able to love someone is so deeply embedded in you that you're pushing him away. Like a coward you're destroying the boy's chance and yours of a happy life."
"I spanked him an hour ago and now he hates me. He wants to go away." Walter said in misery.
"Kid, I spanked you a lot during our time together, sometimes quite severely and that didn't mean that I didn't care for you, quite the opposite. In turn you never resented me for those spankings. You knew very well that I was doing it for LOVE, because I loved you so much that I wanted you to become a good person. You needed to be taken in hand and helped along the way, headstrong as you were, firmly, but also lovingly. You needed to be shown how much you were valued and loved, even while you cried out for, like all children, firm guidance. But then there was never any doubt of the love between us." James put the younger man into a tight hug and let him cry for a while.
"Do you think I still could make things right between Fox and me?" Walter asked between hiccups.
"It's up to you, Walter. I sense that the boy already loves you and you know I seldom fool myself in a matter like this. But you have to tell him and demonstrate how much you really care."
Walter nodded on his shoulder, "Yes, I'll do just what you say." He lifted his head to stare directly into the older man's vivid blue eyes and gave him a tremulous smile. "Thanks James. For everything. You're my best friend and the best father any boy could have ever dreamed of. I love you too, you old fool. And I hate you for making me cry like a baby!" He laughed through his tears and without any shame kissed the man who had always known what was in the bottom of his heart.
"Then I beg you, kid. Don't make a mistake with Fox. He needs you to love him. Are you going to give your relationship a chance to succeed?"
"Yes, Sir. With all my heart."
"Good!" James clapped Walter on the back and stood up pulling him along. "Then let's tell the poor boy that you aren't sending him away and that he doesn't need to collect his things."
"Yes, Sir." Walter agreed still emotionally shaken.
"Stop this, kid." The older man pointed a finger at his face. "Right away. Since when did you become so respectful and start calling me Sir? You never did when you were a stubborn little shit. Why start it now?"
A strangled laugh passed through Walter's lips, "James please never change, okay?"
"You too, kid. Be always the unmanageable little brat you used to be." James teased as he put his hands on the younger man's shoulders squeezing a bit.
"Yes, Sir!" Walter mockingly saluted him. Soon after, he yelped in surprise when a sharp slap was administered to his butt by his still smiling former Captain.
"Watch out, kid. Next time I won't be so understanding." James wiped off any smile from his face. "So help me God if I catch you screwing up with that boy again. I promise you that you won't be able to sit down anymore for as long as I live."
"Don't need to remind me, James. I'll never make that mistake again," Walter solemnly swore rubbing his stinging backside.
"Do you still need me kid?" James asked him determined to stay if he felt Walter still needed his support but at the same time he wanted to give him room to solve his own problems.
"No James thank you very much but I think I can manage from this point."
"Good. Talk to you later then."
After he had seen James out, Walter stopped in front of Fox's bedroom with his heart in trepidation as he listened to the loud sobs. He took some deep breaths to regain his emotional balance and braced himself for a difficult confrontation before entering the room. Fox was lying on his side with his back to the door and didn't acknowledge his presence.
"Fox we need to talk." Walter quietly said as he approached the bed sitting on the edge of the mattress.
"I don't have anything to say to you!" Fox angrily retorted in a muffled voice without moving from his position.
"Nevertheless we must and we will." Walter firmly countered. He wouldn't let the stubbornness of his trainee rob them of their chance at a reconciliation.
"Please go away!"
"No, I won't leave before we talk."
"Then by all means TALK and then leave me alone." Fox spat out hitting the pillow in anger.
Walter tried very hard not to lose his patience at the boy's show of rudeness. "It's unpleasant to talk to someone's back. Could you turn around and look at me please?"
For a moment Walter thought that he would be totally ignored but then albeit extremely reluctantly Fox did his bidding. He turned around. To glare at him.
// Well at least rage is better than no emotion at all, I guess. //
Walter smiled gently at the sullen boy. Even angry his face retained that of a lost puppy which was very appealing. // Ah! my little tyke! Life with you will certainly be interesting! // Walter deepened his grin, "How are you Fox?"
A shrug.
No words. Just great! How was he going to break through his barriers?
Love and trust! That was James's recipe for a successful relationship. It had certainly worked with him so why doesn't he use the same technique with Fox? Honesty was the key.
"Fox I'm sorry I spanked you so harshly. It wasn't my intention. I lost my control because you've been resisting my authority for the whole week and my patience was really running short. However I'm not only responsible for but I'm much older than you are and whatever the reason it doesn't excuse my actions and for that I ask you to forgive me."
The speech took Fox by surprise and suddenly he felt that his anger was inappropriate. His Captain, the notoriously stern AD was asking for his forgiveness? It was too incredible to believe!
Walter pressed his advantage as he noted the boy's angry countenance waver. "Yes, I was wrong and I make a vow to you to never spank you in anger again."
"Does it mean you aren't going to spank me anymore?" Fox interrupted hopefully, his anger suddenly forgotten.
The absurd idea elicited an amused laughter from Walter who tipped Fox in the nose. "No, it means that I'll never raise my hand to you again when I was too angry. The spankings however are still going to happen whenever you misbehave."
"Oh!"
Walter chuckled at the forlorn expression on Fox's face, "Don't look so disappointed little tyke. Spankings aren't the end of the world!"
"But they hurt a lot!"
"Well they're supposed to. But believe me when I say it's going to be harder on me than on you. It takes a lot of courage and love to punish someone who is so dear to you. Although it's necessary if you love the person and you want him to become a responsible and stable adult." Walter explained as he stroked the boy's damp hair. He was pleased to see that this time Fox accepted his caress.
"I'm sorry I bit you. Does it hurt?" Fox grimaced pointing at his swollen hand.
Walter glanced at his injured hand and examined the teeth marks on it thoughtfully. "A bit, but not too much." He answered the boy with a reassuring grin.
With downcast eyes Fox said in a small voice, "I don't want you to hurt. I wish I could make it better."
"Then let's make a deal, shall we?" Walter punched Fox lightly under his chin to make him look at his face. "I'll let you dress my wound if you let me put a cold compress and a soothing cream over your bottom. What do you say?"
Fox eagerly nodded and for the first time since his ordeal he flashed Walter a smile.
"So shake here to seal our pact," Walter lifted his good hand solemnly for Fox to shake. He was confident that with patience and love they'd be able to move on from this bad day and become a good team in the near future.
A few weeks later Walter sat in his favorite spot on the ample balcony from where he used to lose himself for hours in contemplation of the multitude of stars and constellations. The view from the 18th floor was really magnificent, however the focus of his contemplation this night wasn't the sky but the little boy that was soundly sleeping in his room. Fox was still a handful but now he understood better that his tendency to mischief wasn't born from any kind of malice but instead from a combination of natural impishness with insatiable curiosity and uncontrollable impetuosity. Since that fateful day when Walter had spanked him in anger they were getting along very well mostly due to his resolution to give the boy a solid ground to grow up from by outlining very clearly what was and what was not acceptable behavior. This way minor breaches of conduct were dealt with frequent well timed swats and when the boy really messed things up which wasn't so extraordinary at all, with painful trips over his knees for a proper bare bottom spanking. Old fashioned discipline was how he was raised and he had every intention to pass on the tradition. He stretched his long arms and legs lazily. Life was as perfect as it ever could be. He now had a son whom he loved very much and he envisioned the future ahead them as bright and full of happy possibilities. He smiled contentedly. James was right, it felt really good to be a father!
The End