She Hits like a Girl
Summary: When Walter disappears at Christmastime, who's going to rein in Alex?
Pairing: Skinner/Krycek/Kim
Series/Story: series/new
Legal Disclaimers: If they belonged to me, I'd die a happy woman. As it is,
Chris Carter, Fox, and 1013 get all the fun.
Rating: NC-17. This story involves a m/m/f threesome and loving discipline.
If you're under legal age, or this sort of thing bothers you, hit your back
button now.
Notes: For those of you who are asking, Kim Cook is Walter Skinner's
secretary.
Frankly, I think she needs a better agent - CC could do sooo much more with
her
character if he only applied himself to the task. Scully's not the only woman
who works at the Bureau, you know.
Dedication: This one is for Ursula, who has wanted me to put Alex and Walter
together for awhile, and for Lorelei, who wanted to see me spank poor Alex
raw. Hopefully, I killed two birds with one stone here! :)
Feedback: Yes, I'd love it. This is my first attempt at discipline and at
slash, so I'd like to know if I hit the mark - no pun intended. Please send
to K2_fanfic@yahoo.com.
Kim stared dismally at the fallen tree, all the red and green balls crushed
into mirrored splinters, the formerly twinkling strings of lights viciously
yanked out of the socket, the silver garland strewn helter-skelter, and
yearned to burst into tears.
Their first-ever holiday together, and Alex had deliberately ruined it.
What in the hell had gotten into him? He'd been antsy and restless all
afternoon, but Kim had seen him moody dozens of times. She hadn't recognized
it as a portent of doom. Their repeated inquiries to Alex if he wanted to
bake cookies with them had been met with a surly headshake and a frown, so
they had gone ahead into the kitchen without him. Which was a shame; Walter
had said Alex made great peanut butter-Hershey's kiss cookies. Kim's personal
favorites, but she could never quite get them right when she baked them on
her own. She had been looking forward to trying his.
And she'd be more than willing to bet that Walter hadn't seen it coming,
either. My God, the look on his face when they'd barreled out of the kitchen
at the crashing boom from the living room.........Kim had seen Walter Skinner
angry, she'd seen him frustrated, she'd seen him disappointed. But never all
three at the same time, and never in such equal measure.
Alex had just stood there, his lone arm still outstretched to where the
Christmas tree had stood upright mere seconds before, his face unapologetic
and the challenge clear in his smirk. When Walter took a step toward him, Kim
automatically winced, because she knew what was coming next. From the eager
spark in his eyes, so did Alex. But Walter did something completely
unexpected: he had stopped, grabbed his coat and his gym bag, and bolted out
the door without uttering a word.
That was fifteen minutes ago, and Kim hadn't moved since. She could hear Alex
upstairs, banging around in his room, while she stared glumly at the disaster
before her. One of the things that Walter appreciated about her at work was
her skill at mediating. She had unruffled the feathers of many a preening
agent stuck cooling their heels in her outer office. But Kim didn't have clue
one about how to fix this mess.
Squaring her shoulders, she made her way upstairs, following the noisy creak
of opening drawers. Alex was tossing clothes into a duffel bag, striding
rapidly from bureau to bed, full hand one trip, empty on the return.
"Alex--"
"Don't talk to me," he snapped. Finished with throwing the clothes into the
bag, he struggled with the jammed zipper, until frustration won out over the
rest of his storming emotions and he hurled it against the wall, splattering
it and sending socks and underwear flying across the carpet. Slumping onto
the edge of the bed, all manic energy suddenly depleted, he dropped his head
into his hand, leaning his elbow against his knee.
"God-fucking-damn-it," he muttered, gritting his teeth.
Kim crossed the room in a heartbeat and knelt in front of him, running her
fingers through his hair until he looked at her, the green in his eyes mixed
with love and regret.
"He didn't even say anything, Kim," Alex whispered shakily. "He didn't even
look at me."
"He was angry, Alex. He just went to blow off some steam. He's coming back,"
Kim
replied, hoping she was doing the right thing. If Alex skipped out before
Walter returned, what was now a disaster would be immediately upgraded to
end-of-the-world status. She had to keep him here, whatever the cost. Walter
wanted so badly for this to work for the three of them, and deep in her
heart, Kim did too. What Alex wanted was up for grabs; Kim had a very
difficult time understanding this man with whom she shared her lover.
"I fucked this all up. He was supposed to blow up at *me*, not at some damn
punching bag," Alex said, twisting away from Kim's caress. A not-so-subtle
signal that gentle was not the solution to Alex's current problem. Kim didn't
particularly like or understand the discipline part of Walter and Alex's
relationship, but it wasn't her place to comment. When it was over, Alex was
always much more relaxed and open with both of them, so the ends, Kim
grudgingly admitted, presumably justified the means.
"Is that why you knocked down the tree? To get him to hit you?"
"Sort of. I don't know," he sighed, his hand kneading his thigh erratically,
his fingernails turning white from the pressure. His prosthetic hung leadenly
in the sleeve of his black turtleneck sweater, but he was so tense that for a
brief second Kim imagined his plastic fingers were twitching.
Kim mulled over everything Walter had explained to her about discipline,
grappling for a reason why Walter had left as opposed to turning Alex over on
his knee, as both Alex and Kim had expected him to do. "Alex," she said
slowly, trying to work her way through to the solution, "Walter was angry.
Very angry."
"So?"
"Has he ever hit you when he was angry?"
"He did before we became lovers," Alex mumbled unhappily.
She tilted Alex's face toward hers, to make sure he was getting it. "But he
didn't love you then. And so, it wasn't discipline back then, was it?"
"No," he muttered under his breath, his eyelids dropping to hide from her
steady gaze. She jerked his head upward so he couldn't escape. "It was
business back then."
"And now it's not," she said, her voice growing more firm. "Now it's loving.
So he *couldn't* spank you, Alex. Not when he was mad. If it had done it now,
it would have been about revenge, or spite. It wouldn't have been what you
needed."
She watched as he absorbed what she was saying. It didn't go down easy.
Finally he sighed heavily again, his eyes still scared and desperate, and
lifted his hand to remove hers from his cheek. Squeezing her fingers, he
carefully shifted her hand around his waist until it rested on his
denim-covered backside.
"What I *need*," he corrected her. "You could do it." He held her hand in
place when she tried to pull it away. "Please, Kim, I don't want to be like
this when he gets back."
Kim teetered between horrified and deeply moved. This was the last thing in
the world she wanted to do to Alex, but the fact that he trusted her enough
to ask was weirdly gratifying. Maybe they were making more progress than
she'd thought. When this had all begun, they were each Walter's lovers, not
each other's. But things had started to shift lately, and she had assumed,
pre-tree pushing, that the two of them were building their own relationship.
Just last night, after they had all three collapsed from sexual exhaustion,
Alex hadn't snuggled into Walter's other side, as was his normal place to
sleep. Instead, he had come around to Kim's side of the bed, and silently
curled himself around her, kissing her neck and stroking her gently. It was
the first time Alex had ever touched her outside of the heat of the moment,
and his surprising tenderness had brought
tears to her eyes. Walter had drifted off, an enormous smile pasted on his
face at the sight of the two of them. Kim had fallen asleep feeling Walter's
wide chest rising and falling evenly under her cheek, and Alex's arm draped
heavily over her waist, his breath soft in her ear. She had woken up in
exactly the same spot, grinning like a fool.
Kim ached to go back to that idyllic moment more than she could bear.
"Please," Alex repeated, his eyes pleading and his voice raw. "I need you to
do this."
How was she supposed to say no?
Kim stood up, and sat next to Alex on the bed, pushing back so her knees
bumped up against the mattress. Given the differences in their sizes, she
presumed she would need plenty of thigh space. Patting her lap, she said,
"Okay. Come here."
The look of unadulterated relief on Alex's face convinced her she was making
the right choice. He quickly tugged his jeans and boxers down to his ankles,
and draped his half-naked frame across her thighs, pulling a pillow down from
the pile against the scrolling iron headboard, and burying his face in it.
Even though the majority of his body was across the mattress, his weight was
still cumbersome and awkward. Kim shifted both of them until she found the
best spot, and took a moment to examine the scene before her. God, did he
have a beautiful ass. She never really got the chance to look at it from this
angle. Two perfectly round cheeks, with soft, light hair, almost like baby's
fuzz, on them
- an ass that looked surprisingly better naked than clothed. But then, so did
the rest of his body, even though he was still self-conscious about letting
her see his truncated arm. She was damn lucky she didn't have to choose
between Alex and Walter. Two beautiful and awe-inspiring men, who enjoyed
making love with her as much as they did with each other. The three of them
were on the verge of building a wonderful life together. As long as they
could get through this awkward beginning stage.
"Kim?"
His nervous tone was a reality check she didn't want. She was about to
inflict pain on her lover, on purpose. Resting her hand against his upper
thigh, she felt his muscles clench in anticipation. But as her hand made that
first downward motion, her resolve slipped, and her swing ended in a gentle
tap.
Alex didn't move, but he didn't need to. Kim knew that she failed. It hurt.
She looked up at the ceiling to avoid seeing what she was about to do, and
raised her hand up and down fast, with a resounding thwack! Alex murmured
once into the pillow, but still didn't move. Thwack! Thwack! Thwack!
He was so quiet, she started to panic. Usually by the third or fourth slap,
he was babbling uncontrollably about various sins he thought he'd committed
over the entire course of his life. Thinking about the times she'd seen
Walter do this, she realized her mistake. Clearing her throat, she squeaked,
"Why am I doing this, Alex?"
"Be-because I knocked down the Christmas tree," he hissed out between swats.
"And why did you do that?"
Alex shifted suddenly on her lap, and Kim's gaze flew downwards. His ass was
all
splotchy and uneven in color, but it wasn't even close to the shade of red it
became when Walter spanked him. Now it was only a very pale pink. Her face
cheeks flamed redder outside in the cold. She smacked down a little harder on
her next series of strokes.
"Alex! Tell me why."
An incoherent sound emanated from the pillow, as he shook his head. Kim's
hand froze mid-slap, waiting until he turned his face to look at her
quizzically. His eyes were still glittering, not at all like the dazed
expression he normally got from the endorphin rush.
"Tell me," she threatened in the most menacing tone she had. It sounded like
a
hummingbird trying to scare an elephant.
"No," he glowered.
They sat that way, staring down each other, until Kim remembered who had the
upper hand. So she used it. Hard.
"Ow!"
"Tell me."
He squirmed, but Kim held him firmly at the waist, and continued her hard and
fast smacks, peppering his cheeks and upper thighs randomly. Having little
practice at this, she had no control over where her hand would land. Finally,
as her palm began to tingle from overuse, he started to sputter.
"Don't...shit...okay! I did it so Walter would pay attention to me again!! I
was jealous, alright!! Now stop it!!"
Kim slowed the rhythm and pressure, but still kept up a steady stream of
swats. Mostly because her arm was tired, but also because she knew this was
how Walter ended his sessions. "Jealous of what?"
Alex's voice was uneven, as if he was trying not to cry, but Kim didn't think
it had anything to do with the physical pain. His butt cheeks were still
barely red. This was coming from his wounded heart.
"J-jealous of you and W-walter. You two were laughing in the kitchen,
ig-ignoring me...I could have been the fucking tree for all you were
noticing."
Shocked by his confession, Kim's hand motion ceased mid-air. Jealous? He was
jealous of them? How the hell could she punish him for something she herself
felt? He was too bulky to move off her lap, so she reached up and stroked his
sleek hair. Alex shuddered, and dug his head deeper into the pillow,
shrinking from her touch.
"It's like you two have your own language," he continued raggedly. "Walter
doesn't even finish his sentences, and you know what he's talking about. It's
as if you can read his mind."
"Oh, Alex," Kim sighed. With great effort, she managed to lift his legs high
enough so she could scoot out from underneath. Once freed, she lay down next
to him, pulling him into her arms. He came without a fight, burrowing his
face in her neck, which soon dampened from his hot tears leaking erratically.
When she thought he was able to listen again, she said, "Walter and I have
worked together for a long time, it's only natural we understand each other
without a lot of explanation. But we never meant to make you feel left out.
I'm so sorry if I did that."
He sniffled, "You guys were like that when I first met you, too. I remember
the first time I ever saw you two working together. Skinner was striding down
the hall on his way to a meeting, and you had a stack of files in your hand.
You were racing to keep up with him, as he barked out which ones he needed.
And you handed him each file before he got the whole name out. I never saw
anybody that in sync with someone else before."
Kim's eyes closed as she remembered what she had been like back then, and she
smiled as she stroked Alex's back in a soothing motion. "Appearances are
deceiving, as you should know better than anyone."
"Please, Kim, I know what I saw. What I still see. You and Walter belong
together."
"Alex, what you saw was me trying frantically not to lose my job. I'm gonna
let you in a little secret, okay? When you came to the Bureau, I'd only been
working for him for about a month, and I really didn't know him, or his
division, very well. And even though he was very considerate and polite to
me, well, you know his reputation as AD Skinner." A muffled snort vibrated
against her neck. "So I had every damn file of every open case in my hands,
just in case he wanted *one* of them. I cringed every time a new case
appeared on his desk, because it was one more damn folder to lug around."
"But you two are in sync now," he insisted. "I'm just in the way."
Kim nudged Alex's head back and propped hers on her hand. She wanted to be
looking at him when she said this. His thick lashes glistened with leftover
tears, the expression behind the green irises having evolved from wild-eyed
to desolate. She skimmed her fingers across his jaw line, and was relieved
when he didn't flinch.
"It took time, and hard work. He's not an easy man to get to know, but he's
well worth the trouble. And so are you, Alex. You were only half-right when
you said Walter and I belong together. You belong with Walter, too. *And*
with me," she finished, surprised at her own vehemence. But it was true; Alex
belonged with them, and she didn't want it any other way. Not anymore.
His green gaze caught hers, then slid away. "I belong?" he asked, still
skeptical.
"Of course you do. I'm very, very sorry if I made you feel like you don't.
Maybe......maybe I was a little jealous of you, too."
"Jealous of what?"
Kim sighed, the guilt staining her cheeks. "When Walter finally told me that
he loved you, and he wanted both of us in his life, I didn't take it well,
Alex. I guess I was a little insulted. That I wasn't enough for him to be
happy. It took me awhile to adjust."
"Me, too," he confessed. "I guess I'm not doing it as well as you."
"I disagree," she smiled. "Last night, when you caressed me to sleep, was one
of the most amazing nights of my life."
His eyes, which had been wandering shyly along her shoulder, lifted to hers.
"Really?"
"Really. And I'm sorry I didn't do a very good job, but I'm very touched you
wanted me to try to help you just now."
"I think you did a fine job," he said, his voice rough.
Kim's hand drifted down his back, her touch deliberately light as she reached
his butt. His skin was only tepidly warm under her fingers, so she didn't
think she had inflicted any permanent pain, thankfully. "Does it sting still?
I could get you the cream."
It looked liked Alex was fighting back a laugh. "No, it's fine. I can barely
feel it." He caught her hand, the one she'd used on his ass, and inspected it
thoroughly. "I think you got hurt more than I did. Your palm is all swollen
and red." He pressed his lips to the center of her hand, kissing it softly.
"I'm sorry."
"Alex..." Kim faltered, not sure if now was the right time to delve into
this. But her desire to understand, even a little, won out over her common
sense. "Why?"
"Why what?" he asked, his mouth still soft against her overheated palm.
"Why......why do you..."
"Why do I need to be spanked?"
Kim nodded her head, watching his reaction carefully. He seemed okay with
discussing this, but she didn't want to push.
Alex sighed, and moved her hand away, resting it on his shoulder. "I think
somewhere along the way, I lost my sense of right and wrong. The people I
worked for......they didn't have any qualms about doing whatever they felt
was appropriate for a situation. Threats, murder, kidnapping, it didn't
matter. Nothing *meant* anything to them, and in order to do my job, I guess
I followed their example. When Walter found me, I didn't have any concept of
how normal people in society behaved anymore. I'm learning boundaries again,
almost like a child does."
"But why spanking?"
He gave her a tiny smile, rapping his knuckles against his forehead.
"Sometimes the lesson doesn't sink into my thick skull. Physical pain breaks
down the barriers I erected inside myself, so I have to listen to what Walter
is saying. It clears my head, in a way. That's the easiest explanation I can
give. Does it make any sense?"
"A little," Kim answered. "I'm sorry I couldn't help you more with that."
Unexpectedly, Alex leaned over and gave her a kiss. "You did, Kim. Not
because you hurt me, but because you were willing to try. I know it upsets
you...... honestly, I didn't think you would do it. I'm grateful you did."
Kim closed her eyes, digesting everything. This could certainly count as
progress, in a number of ways. She and Alex still had a long way to go, but,
for the first time, she thought they might just get there. That overwhelming
sense of peace she felt last night, nestled between Walter and Alex, might
become a regular thing.
Suddenly Kim understood why Walter wanted this so much. It made her feel
complete.
"Come on," she said as she sat up, tugging on Alex's arm so he joined her.
"There's work to be done downstairs before Walter gets back. We've got to
clean up that mess you made." She tossed teasingly over her shoulder as she
reached the stairs, "And you owe me some cookies, pal. Get that red ass of
yours in the kitchen, pronto."
Alex waited until they were both downstairs before replying, his earlier
volatile mood clearly gone. His face twisted as he struggled to hold back his
sly grin.
"Pink ass," he corrected her. "You hit like a girl."
A girl??? She hit like a girl?? Oh man, just wait until the next time he was
cruisin' for a bruisin', as her mom used to call it. Alex Krycek wouldn't
know what hit him. Literally.
Before she could come up with an appropriate retort, Alex spun her into his
embrace and kissed her soundly. When he finally let her up for air, his
toothy smile lit up the room as brightly as the Christmas tree had and would
again.
"*My* girl," he said sweetly, curling a strand of hair behind her ear. "Merry
Christmas, Kim."
"Merry Christmas, Alex," she grinned back, knowing exactly what the phrase
'my girl' implied. Reading Alex's mind wasn't as difficult as it seemed,
after all.
The last thought that entered Kim's happily-buzzing brain cells before she
started cleaning up the mess in the living room, was that it didn't matter if
the water from the tree holder had soaked the presents underneath. She and
Alex were about to give Walter Skinner the best gift of all.
Love.
THE END
Merry belated Christmas one and all! Please send feedback to
K2_fanfic@yahoo.com