The Train
Disclaimer: They don't belong to me, I just use them for free.
Rating: Discipline of a child, angst
Notes: I didn't have anyone beta read this, just read it aloud to one person who said, "post it, right now" This takes place during Take-2 ish kind of things, in the Danville universe.
Feedback, both good and bad always welcome
Assistant Director Walter Skinner was never able to say why he went that day to find his son, just a sixth sense. One moment he was sitting at his desk going over the budget report he had brought home from the office. The next he was on his feet grabbing his coat, and heading for the door knowing only one thing, he HAD to find Fox, NOW.
As Skinner walked out of the house, he did a quick scan about the yard, no Fox. Skinner frowned and headed out, not stopping to speak to anyone. His parental instincts kicking into high gear, as he kept moving, not even sure why he was heading in this direction other than something inside him told him to.
Walter was never a believer in ESP but from his own parents he knew the parental instinct was genuine. His mother seemed to always know when he and his brothers and sister were getting into trouble, eyes in the back of her head, the ability to look at a child and know when they were lying, seeing though a closed door. All part of Rachel Skinner's arsenal of parenting.
The morning was cool and humid as Walter jogged though the streets and back alleys, still not sure where he was going but knowing he had to get there and soon. A light mist was falling, covering the world in its soft folds of dew, making breathing harder, yet still Walter jogged on, pushing his pace even harder. "Right, here I am running though the streets in this stuff and Fox is probably back at the house right now drinking a cool apple juice." But inside, Walter knew that wasn't so, that his boy was in trouble and he had to get there, right now.
It was at that moment in time, when the mist was thick, and the streets quiet, that Walter heard the sound that sent fear into his heart, and made him break from the easy jog in to a dead run, his heart pounding in his chest with each step. Off in the distance he heard the low mournful cry of a train whistle. Walter's mind flashed back to the day before, and the half over heard conversation. Just a few sentences.
"... then the last one to move wins."
"But what if no one moves?" Fox had ask
"There wont be, someone will move"
That was when the boys heard Walter on the porch and stopped talking, changing the subject.
Later Walter asked Fox "What was all that about the last one to move wins Son?" Fox paused in his writing, but didn't look up "last one to move?" He asked.
"Yes, today with Kevin and Stan in the back yard" Walter looked over the top of the paper at the boy. "When you boys were talking about playing chicken."
"You know about playing chicken?" Fox's eyes got very wide as he looked in awe at time man he called father.
Walter laughed, "I wasn't born old, I played chicken a time or two in my day." Walter got serious "just don't do anything foolish Fox, playing chicken in go carts is fine, just don't go too far."
"I wont" Fox assured Walter.
Walter frowned as he remembered how evasive Fox was, cursing himself for not paying more attention to the boy, and the answers. Walter knew where he was going, the train tracks. He leapt over a hedge, and dodged several trash cans, running full speed, his breath catching in his chest with each step, more terror than anything at what could happen.
The train whistle give its mournful cry again, closer than before, as Walter reached the tracks. A quick look up and down saw the train coming in the distance one way. He turned and ran up the tracks the other direction. Stumbling on the rocks at the side of the tracks, looking for the boys, hoping he wasn't too late. A glance back showed the train was gaining on him. Walter saw the bend in the tracks ahead and left the side of the rails, charging though the hedge, and jumping the fence. A miss step caused Walter to fall down the slight incline. Instinctively, he tucked into the roll and came up running again without a pause.
As he jumped the next fence he saw the boys, three of them standing on the tracks, the train whistle sounded again, closer than ever. Walter yelled as he ran "FOX BOYS GET OFF THE TRACK!!!" waving his arms making shooing motions. The boys turned startled to see the AD so close and moved to obey his command.
Walter didn't slow as he got closer "GET OFF THE TRACKS" he yelled again. The boys stepped back two paces then turned, Walter watched as Fox misstepped stumbling, then panic seized Walter as he watched Fox trying to pull his foot from the tracks, caught on something.
Leaping the last few feet, Walter assessed the situation even before he came to a stop "I'm stuck Dad, I'm stuck!!" the terrified boy screamed, tugging on his foot where it was stuck between the tracks at the switch. Walter didn't hesitate, he tugged at the boys foot, trying to see how it was wedged "I'm going to get you out son, don't worry, everything is going to be fine."
Fox looked at his dad, his young face so trusting and sincere, "I'm sorry Daddy, I'm sorry." "Shhhh Fox, its okay," Walter tried calming the boy as he pulled on the tracks, shifting the foot, anything to get Fox free.
"The train is coming!!" Kevin shouted, pointing up the tracks where the train was rounding the bend. Walter looked up, seeing the train getting closer and closer, the whistle sounding almost constantly, knowing the engineer had seen them but also knowing it was too late to stop. The breaks hissed and screamed, sparks flew from the track as the frantic engineer tried to stop the train. Walter looked up, the train was closer than ever only a few feet, Fox had his arms tightly about Walter's neck, his sobs filling the air as the other boys kept yelling, the din loud,
Then with a surge of adrenaline, Fox shoved Walter away from him, pushing the large man off the train tracks, just as the train reached that point. Walter screamed in anguish and terror as he saw his sons face for the last time, those large eyes so calm, so filled with love. Then, nothing, the sounds of the train crashing though, the screams of the other boys, and then the boy he had raised for the last few weeks was gone.
Walter woke with a start, terror gripping him as he had the nightmare again. Drenched in sweat, the memory of the train filling him with fear as it had the day it happened. Tears falling down his face, as the sobs shook his body, the house so empty, so lonely since his little Fox had been taken from him. He remembered the aftermath of the wreck, the police, fire and rescue workers who swarmed around the scene. The agents who held him back form seeing the mutilated corpse of his little boy. The burst of wild frenzy, breaking free from the agents, shoving the workers aside, seeing the bloody pieces, the bruised face as the head was placed in the body bag. Then mercifully the blackness over took him.
Walter keened in his grief, shaking, his arms wrapped about himself, rocking in the night, on his bed, sobbing again, blaming himself for the tragedy, the death of the little boy. Cursing himself for not having gotten there soon enough. For not having been able to prevent it, if only he had run faster, if only he had started sooner, if only he had been able to get there before....
But none of that would matter now, Walter got out of bed, stumbling out of the room, and down the hall, to Fox's room. He had not been in there since the day of the funeral. It had been closed casket of course, a picture of the boy resting on top of the flower laden small box. Walter held up stoically accepting the condolences of those who attended, listening to the words of the priest, of the boys friends and teachers. All the while he felt so dead within, thinking of the little boy who would never grow up again, to be the man whom Walter had called friend, and son.
The family tried to be there for Walter, holding him in his grief, but Walter pushed them all away, saying he needed to be by himself, to come to terms with this on his own. The family didn't want to leave. Finally they did, giving Walter time to grieve, as they left. Walter promised to come down to the house the next weekend.
Walter walked into the dark empty room. He had not been able to bring himself to get rid of the boys things, the pictures and toys, the clothing. Nothing had been used for long, but the memories strong in all of it. Walter opened the closet, and there on the shelf was the bunny he had given Fox as a baby. Walter took it down and held it close, sobbing into the soft fur, clinging to the rabbit as if it were his boy, his little Fox. The grief was almost too much for him to handle alone. His failure, Walter was not sure he could live with that, failing to protect the most precious thing in his life, not being able to keep his boy safe. The memories of Fox, of Jeremy, Walter's younger brother who had also died, flooded Walter, as he walked to the dresser where his gun was kept. Lifting it, the bunny still tight to his chest, tears clouding his vision, walking to the bed and stretching out on it. Holding the bunny tightly in one hand, the weapon in the other, thumbing off the safety, his pain filling him again. The hammer pulled back till it cocked, then slowly the pressure on the trigger, squeezing it, the sight of the dark barrel filling his mind as the trigger inched its way back.
BANG!!
The sound woke Walter up from the nightmare. He was on his own bed, the sunlight streaming in the window. He heard the BANG again, and realized it was coming from the garage, still disoriented he walked though the house, and opened the garage door. There at the workbench was Fox, trying to hammer a nail into a misshapen birdhouse, each blow with the hammer sounding like a gunshot on the tin roof of the house. Walter began breathing again, his heart beating too fast. "Hi dad, have a good nap" Fox asked with a grin.
"It was fine son," Walter said walking over and hugging his boy tightly.
Walter remembered that day so well. Fox had been caught on the tracks. The train was coming, the noise and breaks squealing, the steam and sparks flying. Walter fought to get the boy free, pulling his foot out of the sneaker at the last moment and pulling them both off the tracks, as the train screamed by.
Walter just clung to his boy for a long time, shaking. Fox was sobbing, and white as a ghost, the other boys also pale. Walter looked Fox over, making sure his son was not harmed. The foot though shoeless was fine, only a couple of scrapes from the fall. Walter hugged Fox so tightly Fox thought his back was going to break. Fox was momentarily taken aback by the tight hug, but hugged his dad back after a moment just as tight, sobbing how sorry he was, so very sorry. Then gasped as he was turned over the other mans knees, "DAD no please" Fox yelped, squirming "not here!!" mortified that his dad would spank him in public, in front of his friends.
"YES here" Walter said bringing his hand down on the boys bottom sharply. Spanking him harder than he had ever spanked before, his hand beating a tattoo on the boy's jeans clad rump,
Fox yelped again, and almost immediately began to cry, realizing how angry his father was, then shocked again as he was pulled back into the bear hug. His rump burning from the few swats. "I almost lost you son," Walter sobbed. Fox realized his dad was crying and clung to him sobbing, their tears mingling "I'm sorry daddy, I'm sorry" he sobbed over and over.
It had taken several minutes for father and son to calm down. Then Walter was all business, holding his boy tightly he called the agents on his cell phone that had been in his coat pocket. Within minutes they were on the scene and had taken charge of the train personnel and the other two boys. As the shock of what almost happened wore off, Walter grew very angry, he left the agents in charge of the scene, and headed home with his son.
Fox had to trot to keep up with his angry father, knowing he was in deep trouble. Walter had a death grip in his arm, and every few feet he would swat Fox's rump hard, lecturing all the way.
"WHAT in the world were you thinking to do something that foolish, playing chicken with a train????? You were lucky you weren't killed!!" Several swats landing on the boy's rump then marching off again. "I have told you over and over to stay away from the train tracks, they aren't safe!!" A pause in the walk as Walter put his foot on a low wall, hauling Fox over his knee, several swats following, hard and stinging. Then, setting him back on his feet and walking again. "When I saw you on the tracks, and heard the train, DAMN IT Fox what were you thinking???" Not even a pause as Walter continued the tirade. "You weren't thinking that is obvious, you didn't give a thought to the DANGER you put yourself into!! What if you had been struck by the train, what if I hadn't gotten there in time to get you out, what if ... "his voice stopped, and got really quiet. "What if you had been killed."
The rest of the walk home was in silence, Walter not letting Fox say a word, tears streaming down both their faces, as they occupied their minds with that last thought.
Once in the house, Walter sent Fox to his room, to stand in the corner and just wait for him. Fox ran off to obey, still crying from the spankings he had already received. Walter poured himself a glass of water, his hand shaking so bad the water spilled all over the counter. Walter just stood there, gripping the counter, trying to calm down, he had been so scared. The thought of what could have happened to his son still gripping him like an icy hand.
It took a long time before Walter felt calm enough to deal with his son, but finally he walked into the bedroom. Fox was in the corner as instructed, standing straight and tall, almost at attention. One foot still in the shoe, the other just wearing the sock, he didn't look around when he heard his dad at the door. Walter just stood there for a moment, his eyes drinking in the sight of Fox, whole and well, then he crossed to the bed and sat down. "Come here Fox" he commanded sharply. Fox flinched but come over to his dad immediately, wondering if he had ever been in so much trouble before.
Walter dropped the other shoe on the bed. Tattered, ripped to shreds, it had been delivered while Fox stood in the corner. It sat there, a silent testimonial to what almost happened. Fox just stared at the shoe, realizing it had almost been him, and even worse, it had almost been his dad too. Tears fell down his cheeks making fresh rivets in the dried tears that had come before, his body shaking as the revelation come to him, He could have died. Walter could have died. His friends could have died. The color drained from Fox's young face as his mind grasped these concepts. "ohh dad, I am so sorry, I never thought" that is as far as Fox got before he stopped himself, and seemed to stand straighter, as if he had grown and matured in the one moment. "there is no excuse for what I did sir, it was stupid and unthinking and dangerous, I deserve to be punished severely for this."
Walter listened to his son, feeling the burst of pride as his boy didn't try to beg out of the punishment, accepting it, taking responsibility for his own actions and the consequences. Fox unbuckled his belt, slipping it out of the loops, and handed it to his father. Then, taking another breath he unfastened his jeans and underpants, and pushed them down to his knees, bending over Walter's lap, nodding, knowing what he had done was wrong.
Walter folded the belt in half, wrapping his arm around the boy's waist, Fox knew what he had done wrong, and was accepting the consequences for it. "What is this spanking for Fox?" Walter ask, bringing the belt down harshly on the tender bottom.
Fox gasped at the white hot pain "for endangering my life and yours by playing on the train tracks"
Walter firmed his resolve and laid a few stinging swats to the boy's rump. "Not for endangering my life Fox, that was my choice, but for endangering yours, every action has a reaction, every cause an effect, and if I have to blister your bottom for the next six months you will learn never to play on the railroad tracks again" the belt fell hard and fast, Fox was reduced to tears in the first three swats, but still the blows kept coming.
"What else?" Walter asked paying attention to the thighs with the stinging piece of leather.
"F-for lying to you about what the chicken game was for, letting you think it was for go carts" Fox sobbed as he squirmed and bucked. The belt lighting a fire in his bottom, Walter strapped his son again and again, letting him know lying was NEVER going to be acceptable.
"What else?" Walter asked, working on the sit on spot.
"For leaving the yard without letting you know where I was going," Fox sobbed out, screaming as the belt whipped his bottom again.
"I have to know where you are at all times Fox! Other wise I can't keep you safe!" Walter let the belt travel over the little red rump again from hip to thigh, then stopped. He tossed the belt down. Fox just sobbed, this had to be the worse whipping he had ever gotten, his bottom felt like it was on fire. He sobbed over Walter's lap, for a long time, before he was able to get up. Then found himself crushed in another bear hug. Walter's arms about his boy, making sure he was safe, and loved.
Fox sobbed again "I'm sorry dad, so sorry."
"Shhhh I know son I know." Walter said rocking his son in his arms.
They stayed like that for over an hour. Walter not able to release his son, just rocking him, though he did pull up his underpants, Fox sobbing on his father's shoulder, feeling the love flowing over him. Finally, the boy's breathing told Walter that Fox had fallen asleep. Reluctantly, Walter slipped back the cover and laid Fox on the bed. Fox whimpered a bit, turning over on his stomach. Walter tucked the boy in, smoothing back the tangled hair.
Walter threw off the last vestiges of the nightmare and the memory. Hugging his son tightly, and tosseling his hair, just happy his boy was here. "Here let me give you a hand with the bird house" Walter said, picking up a hammer.
"Thanks dad," Fox said, giving Walter a huge smile "then can we go for ice cream?"
Walter laughed "you're still on punishment, not a chance."
"Well, it was worth a try" Fox said with a grin. "You never did tell me Dad, What made you come to the tracks to get me? How did you know I was in trouble?"
Walter smiled at the boy, "A father knows, son, a father knows."