... or...
"The Donkey's Lament"
A fearless knight on a trusty steed
"On, Algernon! Make haste, make haste!
Through wind, through fire, through snow and hail,
"Come out you vile, vicious villian, you!
"My name is Achibald Alexander Smith,
The battle raged back and forth,
"Now noble knight, with honor I die,
"My hero!" Cried a maiden,
The knight cleared his throat out loud,
"Alas, alac!" The maiden cried,
"Listen here, you bumbling fool,
Copyright © 2002, Tina M. Bridenstine.
rode through the forest one day
"Today I'll complete this brave deed,"
he faltered as his horse made a bray
"Through honor, courage, and a small fray
that horrible dragon I'm sure to slay."
"Hee-haw!" The steed not a word did heed
but under the knight's balk did sway
as they continued on their way.
My lady waits in the dragon's lair,
the girl with such a slender waist,
and that dear blush so pure and chaste,
a girl that is not to be replaced,
with curls like straw all through her hair,
and lips like... like tomato paste!"
He finished as through the forest they raced.
through dirt devil and blue lagoon,
they pressed on o'er the rocky trail,
and never once did they swoon.
They continued even after the rising of the moon,
through it all the knight pressed on, the couragous loon!
Until one day he found the lair of the dragon he'd assail,
and he drew his mighty sword he knew could never fail.
I'll vanquish you, by my sword I vow!
Be ready now, bid the world adieu,
because it ends for you right here and now!"
No dragon came and a frown wrinkled the knight's brow.
"You are afraid to fight me, I avow!"
Like a gentlemen the dragon then came into view,
"I'll intoduce myself if you'll allow."
The dragon said politely with a bow.
the fourth if I may care to add,
and I come from the land of Gilgamith,
my dear couragous lad.
Please, understand I am not glad
to fight you in a temperment so bad,
but if you insist I'll do so forthwith."
The dragon said with a voice so very sad.
"I do!" Came the voice of the knightly cad.
curteous dragon and noble knight,
until a scream was heard henceforth
and the dragon fell from it's enormous height,
"Oh, pain! Oh, agony! What a horrible fright!
I believe I am dying. Oh, no! It's the light!
Now it's all over, I'm headed due north.
My dear mother, she was always right,
she told me never to pick a fight!
bury me on my shield... or my treasure,
tell them my last words were... Oh, fie!
This is not much of a pleasure."
Then the dragon died in displeasure,
and not another word could the knight measure.
The knight let out a relief-filled sigh,
and from within the lair there was heard a cry.
and her arms round the donkey flew,
her hair and clothes with gold were laiden,
as she hugged her hero, brave and true.
"You have arrived just on cue!
For saving me, I thank you!
You see, I'm just a helpless maiden,
by the dragon I was pursued
but now the drama I see is through."
"Dear Lady, it is I you should thank.
I battled that dragon as I vowed,
to thank this donkey must be a prank,
we're meant to be together by rank,
you see, it's right here in this blank!
You and I are all the script has allowed.
Happily ever after, you can take it to the bank."
The knight replied in all his swank.
"The mistake has all been mine!
But now I shall be your bride,
if my wish is thine."
The knight he smiled at a maid so fine,
then said he, "Come steed, carry us to dine."
But the faithful steed for once defied,
and refused to let either party ride.
and you, you crass little girl,
you get the glory while I get the drool,
and I'll have none of it, not for the world,"
Said the steed with his tail in a swirl,
"As for me, it makes my stomach curl!
You can go find another mule!
Take your diamond and your pearls,
and for myself, I'll find a princess of a girl!"
