MAJOR GENERAL

I Am the very Model of a Modern major GEneral
I've Information Vegetable, animal and Mineral
I KNOW the kings of ENgland and I QUOTE the fights hisTORical
From MArathon to WAterloo in order cateGOrical

I'm Very well acQUainted with Matters matheMatical
ABOUT binomial THEorem I'm TEEming with a LOT o' news
With Many cheerful FACTS about the SQuare of the hyPOTenuse.

I KNOW our mythic HIstory, King ARthur's and Sir CAradoc's
I ANswer hard acRostics, I've a Pretty taste for PAradox
I QUOTE in eleGIacs all the Crimes of HelioGAbalus
In COnics I can Floor peculiarities parABolous.

Cruel War

The cruel war is raging
Johnny has to fight
I long to be with him 
From morning 'till night

I want to be with him 
It grieves my heart so 
Won't you let me come with you? 
No, my love, no 

Tomorrow is Sunday
Monday is the day 
That your captain will call 
You and you must obey 

Your captain will call you
It grieves my heart so 
Won't you let me come with you? 
No, my love, no

I'll tie back my hair 
Men's clothing I'll put on
I'll pass for your comrade 
As we march along

I'll pass for your comrade 
No one will ever know 
Won't you let me come with you? 
No, my love, no

Oh Johnny, oh Johnny 
I feel you are unkind 
I love you far better 
Than all of mankind 

I love you far better 
Than words can e'er express 
Won't you let me come with you? 
Yes, my love, yes

They marched into battle
She never left his side 
'Til a bullet shell struck her 
And love was denied

A bullet shell struck her 
Tears came to Johnny's eyes 
As he knelt down beside her
She silently died

TWO LITTLE BOYS

Two little boys had two little toys
Each had a wooden horse
Gaily they played on a summer's day
Warriors both of course
One little chap had a mishap
Broke off his horse's head
Wept for his toy but cried with joy
When he heard his brother say

Do you think I could leave you here crying
When there's room on my horse for two
Climb up here Jack and stop your crying
We'll mend up your horse with glue
When we grow up we'll both be soldiers
And our horses will not be toys
And you will remember
When we were two little boys

Long years had passed, war came at last
Bravely they marched away
Cannons roared loud midst that wild crowd
Where wounded and dying Joe lay
There came a cry, a rider dashed by
Out from the ranks of blue
Galloped away to where Joe lay
And he heard his brother say

Do you think I could leave you here dying
When there's room on my horse for two
Climb up here Joe, we soon will fly
To the ranks of the boys in blue
Can't you see I'm all a-tremble
It may be the flash and the noise
Or it may be because I remember
When we were two little boys

REUBEN JAMES
Tell me what were their names
Tell me what were their names
Did you have a friend on the good Reuben James (2)

Have you heard of a ship called the good Reuben James
Manned by hard fighting men both of honor and fame
She flew the stars and stripes of the land of the free
Tonight she's in her grave at the bottom of the sea

It was there in the dark of that uncertain night
That we watched for a U-Boat and waited for a fight
Then a whine and a rock and a great explosion roar
And they laid the Reuben James on the cold ocean floor

Eighty six men were drowned I can't give you all their names
Only forty four were saved from the good Reuben James
It was the last day of October that we saved the forty four
From the cold ocean waters long that long Iceland shore

Now tonight there are lights in our country so bright
In the farms and the cities they are telling of this fight
And now our mighty battleships will steam the bounding main
And remember the name of the good Reuben James

THREE SCORE AND TEN

CHORUS
And it's 3 score and ten, boys and men, were lost from Grimsby town
From Yarmouth down to Scarborough, many hundreds more were drowned
Our herring craft, our trawlers, our fishing smacks as well
They long defied the bitter night and battled with the swell

Methinks I see a host of craft, spreading their sails with ease
As down the Humber they do glide all bound for the Northern Seas
Methinks I see on each small craft a crew with hearts so brave
Going out to earn their daily bread upon the restless wave

Methinks I see them yet again as they leave the land behind
Casting their nets into the sea the herring shoals to find
Methinks I see them yet again and they're all on board all right
With their sails close reefed and their decks cleaned up
          and their side lights burning bright

October's night brought such a sight you'd never seen before
There were masts and yards and broken spars come washed up on the shore
There was many a heart of sorrow, there was many a heart so brave
There was many a fine and hearty lad did find a watery grave

1913 MASSACRE

Take a trip with me in 1913
To Calumet, Michigan in the copper country
I'll take you to a place called Italian Hall
And the miners are havin their big Christmas ball

I'll take you in a door and up a high stairs
Singing and dancing is heard everywhere
I'll let you shake hands with the people you see
And watch the kids dance round the big Christmas tree

There's talking and laughing and songs in the air
And the spirit of Christmas is there everywhere
Before you know it you're friends with us all
And you're dancing round and round in the hall

You ask about work and you ask about pay
They'll tell you they make less than a dollar a day
Working their copper claims, risking their lives
So it's fun to spend Christmas with children and wives

A little girl sits down by the Christmas tree lights
To play the piano so you gotto keep quiet
Here is all fun; you would not realize
That the copper boss thug men are milling outside

The copper boss thugs stuck their heads in the door
One of them yelled and screamed there's a fire
A lady she hollered there's no such thing
Keep on with your party there's no such a thing

A few people rushed and there's only a few
It's just the thugs and the scabs fooling you
A man grabbed his daughter and he carried her down
But the thugs held the door and they could not get out

And then others followed, a hundred or more
But most everybody remained on the floor
The gun thugs they laughed at their murderous joke
And the children were smothered by the stairs on the floor

Such a terrible sight I never did see
We carried our children back up to their tree
The scabs outside still laughed at their spree
Children dead there were seventy three

The piano played a slow funeral tune
The town was lit by a cold Christmas moon
Parents cried and miners moaned
See what your greed for money has done

HOBO'S LULLABY

Go to sleep my weary hobo
Let the towns drift slowly by
Can't you hear the steel rails humming
That's the hobo's lullaby

Don't you worry 'bout/think about tomorrow
Let tomorrow come and go
Tonight you're in a nice warm box car
Safe from all the wind and snow

I know your clothes are torn and ragged
And your hair is turning gray
Lift your face and smile at trouble
You'll find peace and rest someday

I AIN'T GOT NO HOME IN THIS WORLD ANY MORE

I ain't got no home, I'm just a ramblin round
I'm just a ramblin workin man, I go from town to town
Police make it hard wherever I may go
And I ain't got no home in this world any more

My brothers and my sisters are stranded on this road
It's a hot dusty road where a million feet have trod
Rich man took my home and he drove me from my door
And I ain't got no home in this world any more

Was a farming shares and always I was down
My debts were so many my pay don't go around
My wife took down and died there on the cabin floor
And I ain't got no home in this world any more

Now as I look around it's very plain to see
This wide and wicked world is a funny place to be
The gambling man is rich and the working man is poor
And I ain't got no home in this world any more

RAMBLIN ROUND YOUR CITY

Rambling round your city, rambling round your town
I never see a friend I know as I go ramblin round, boys
As I go ramblin round

My sweetheart and my parents I left in my old home town
I'm out to do the best I can as I go ramblin round, boys
As I go ramblin round

The peach trees they are loaded, the limbs are bending down
I pick em all day for a dollar, boys, as I go ramblin round, boys
As I go ramblin round

Sometimes the fruit gets rotten, falls down on the ground
There's a hungry mouth for every peach
As I go ramblin round, boys
As I go ramblin round

I wish that I could marry, I wish I could settle down
But I can't save a penny, boys, as I go ramblin round

My mother prayed I'd be
A man of some renown
I'm just a refugee, boys
As I go ramblin round

BOURGOIS TOWN  (BOURGOIS BLUES)

It's a bourgois town
It's a bourgois town
Got the Bourgois blues
Gonna spread the news around

Tell all the black folks to listen up to me
Don't try to buy no home in Washington DC

Me and mine run all over town
Everywhere we'd go the people turn us down

Me and Marthy we was standing upstairs
I heard the white man say I don't want no black folks here

The white folks in Washington they know how
Chuck a black man a nickel just to see him bow

The D A R wouldn't let Marian Anderson in
But Mrs Roosevelt was her best friend

In the home of the brave, in the land of the free
Why should I be mistreated by the bourgoisie

DEPORTEES

Goodbye to my Juan, goodbye Rosalita
Adios mis amigos Jesus y Maria
You won't have your names when you ride the big airplane
All they will call you will be deportees

Crops are all in and the peaches rotting
Oranges piled in their creosote dumps
You're flying them back to the Mexican border
To pay all their money to wade back again

My father's own father he waded that river
They took all the money he made in his life
My brothers and sisters come working the fruit trees
And they rode the truck til they took down and died

Some of us are illegal and some are not wanted
Our work contract's out and we'll have to move on
Six hundred miles to the Mexican border
They chase us all like outlaws, like rustlers, like thieves

DETROIT CITY

Last night I went to sleep in Detroit City
I dreamed about those cotton fields back home
I dreamed about my mother, dear old papa, sister and brother
I dreamed about the boy who's been waiting for so long

I want to go home
I want to go home
Lord, how I want to go home

Home folks think I'm big in Detroit City
From the letters that I write they think I'm fine
By day I make the cars and by night I make the bars
If only they could read between the lines

Spoken:
'Cause you know I rode a freight train North to Detroit City
And after all these years I find I've been wasting my time
I'll put my foolish pride on the southbound train and ride
And go on back to the loved ones
The ones I left waiting so far behind

DO RE MI

If you ain't got the do re mi boys
If you ain't got the do re mi
Better go back to beautiful Texas
Oklahoma Kansas Georgia Tennessee
California's the garden of Eden
A paradise to live in or see
But believe it or not
You won't find it so hot
If you ain't got the do re mi

Lots of folks back east they say
Leaving their homes/home every day
Beatin' down that dusty trail to the California line
Cross the desert sands they roll
Getting out of that old dust bowl
Sayin/Think they're going to a sugar bowl, but
Here's what they find
For the police at the port of entrance say
You're number 14,000 for today

If you want to buy a home or farm
That can't do nobody harm
Or take your vacation by the mountain or sea
Don't swap your old cow for a car
You'd better stay right where you are
Better take this little tip from me
Cause I look through the want ads every day
But headlines in the papers always say

IT WASN'T GOD WHO MADE HONKY-TONK ANGELS

As I sit here tonight, the juke box playing
That tune 'bout the wild side of life
As I listen to the words that you are saying
It brings mem'ries when I was a trusting wife

It wasn't God who made honky tonk angels
As you said in the words of your song
Too many times married men think they're still single
And they cause many a good girl to go wrong

It's a shame that all the blame is on us women
It's not true that only you men feel the same
From the start most every heart that's ever been broken
Was because there always was a man to blame

OKIE FROM MUSKOGEE

We don't smoke marijuana in Muskogee
We don't take our trips on LSD
And we won't burn our draft cards down on Main Street
Cause we like living right and being free

We don't make a party out of loving
But we like holding hands and pitching woo
We don't let our hair grow long and shaggy
Like the hippies out in San Francisco do

Leather boots are still in style if a man needs footwear
Beads and Roman sandals won't be seen
Football's still the roughest thing on campus
And we still respect the college dean

I'm proud to be an Okie from Muskogie
A place where even squares can have a ball
We still wave Old Glory down at the courthouse
White lightning's still the biggest thrill of all

BALLAD OF JED CLAMPETT

Come and listen to my story about a man named Jed
Poor mountaineer, barely kept his family fed
Then one day he was shootin at food, and
Up through the ground came a bubbling crude
(Oil, that is, Texas tea, black gold)

First thing you know, old Jed's a millionaire
Friends said Jed move away from here
Said that California was the place to be
So he loaded up his truck and moved to Beverly
(Hills, that is, swimming pools and movie stars)

Well now it's time to say goodbye to Jed and all his kin
They'd like to thank you folks for kindly dropping in
You're all invited back to this locality
To have a heaping helping of their hospitality
(Beverly Hillbillies, that's what they call 'em now...
Nice folks,  Y'all come back now, hear?)

VIGILANTE MAN

Tell me what is Vigilante Man?
Tell me what is Vigilante Man?
Does he carry a gun and pistol
I hear his name all over this land

Have you seen Vigilante Man?
Have you seen Vigilante Man?
Have you seen Vigilante Man?
I hear his name all over this land

Rainy night down in the engine house
Sleeping just as still as a mouse
Man come along and chase us out in the rain
Was that a Vigilante man?

Stormy days and we pass the time away
Sleeping in some good warm place
Man come along and we gave him a little race
Was that a Vigilante man?

Preacher Casey was just a working man
And he said Unite all you working men
Killed him in the river, some strange man
Was that a Vigilante man?

Why does a vigilante man?
Why does a vigilante man?
Carry a sawed off shotgun in his hand?
Would he shoot his brother and sister down?

I've rambled around from town to town
I've rambled around from town to town
And they herded us around like a wild herd of cattle
Was that the Vigilante Man?

EAST TEXAS RED

Down in the scrub oak timber of the Southeast Texas gulf
There used to ride a brakeman and a brakeman double tough
He worked the town of Kilgore and Longview nine miles down
Us travelers called him East Texas Red, the meanest bull around

I rode by night and by broad day light in wind and snow and sun
I always seen little East Texas Red sporting his smooth running gun
The tale got switched down the stems and main and everybody said
The meanest man on the shiny rails was East Texas Red

It was early in the morning and along towards nine or ten
A couple of boys on the hunt for a job stood in the blizzardy wind
Hungry and cold they knocked on doors of working folks around
For a piece of meat and a spud or two to boil a stew around

Red he come down the cinder dump and he flagged the number two
He kicked their bucket over a bush and he dumped out all their stew
A traveler said Mr East Texas Red you better get everything fixed
Cause you're gonna ride your little train just one year from today

Red he laughed as he clumb the bank and swung the side of a wheeler
The boys caught a tanker Seminole and west to Amarillo
They struck them a job of oil field work & followed a pipeline down
It took them lots of places til the year had rolled around

One cold and wintry day they hooked them a Gulf bound train
They shivered and shook with dough in their clothes to see Kilgore again
Over hills of sand & hard froze roads where the cotton wagons roll
On past the town of Kilgore and on to old Longview

With their warm suits of clothes and overcoats they walk into a store
They pay the man for some meat and stuff to fix a stew once more
The ties they walk back past the yards til they come to the same old spot
Where East Texas Red just a year ago had dumped their last stew pot

The smoke of their fire went higher and higher a man come down the line
He ducked his head in the blizzardy wind and waved old number nine
He walked off down the cinder dump til he came to the same old spot
And there was the same three men again round that same little pot
Red went to his knees and he hollered "Please don't pull that trigger on me
I did not get my business fixed" but he did not get his say
A gun wheeled out of an overcoat and it played the old one two
And Red was dead when the other 3 men sat down to eat their stew

WINGS OF A DOVE

When troubles surround us and evils come
The body grows weak the spirit grows numb
When these things beset us
He doesn't forget us
He sends down his love on the wings of a dove

When Noah had drifted on the flood many days
He searched for land in various ways
Troubles he had some but wasn't forgotten
He sent him his love on the wings of a dove

When Jesus went down to the waters that day
He was baptized in the usual way
When it was done God blessed his son
He sent him his love on the wings of a dove

On the wings of a snow white dove
He sends his pure sweet love
A sign from above
On the wings of a dove

CRYING IN THE CHAPEL

You saw me crying in the chapel
The tears I shed were tears of joy
I knew the meaning of contentment
Now I am happy with the Lord

Just a plain and simple chapel
Where humble people go to pray
I pray the Lord that I'll grow stronger
As I live from day to day
I've searched and I've searched but I couldn't find
No way on earth to gain peace of mind

Now I'm happy in the chapel
Where people are of one accord
We gather in the chapel
Just to sing and praise the Lord

Every sinner looks for something
That will put his heart at ease
There is only one true answer
He must get down on his knees

Meet your neighbor in the chapel
Join with him in tears of joy
You'll know the meaning of contentment
Then you'll be happy with the Lord.

You'll search and you'll search but you'll never find
No way on earth to gain peace of mind
Take your troubles to the chapel
Get down on your knees and pray

[You'll find] your burdens will be lighter
And you'll surely find the way

WATERLOO

CHORUS
Waterloo Waterloo Where will you meet your Waterloo
Every puppy has his day 
Everybody has to pay
Everybody has to meet his Waterloo

Now old Adam the first in history
With an apple he was tempted and deceived
Just for spite the devil made him take a bite
And that's where old Adam met his Waterloo

Now a feller whose darlin proved untrue
Took her life but he lost his too
Now he swings where the little birdies sing
And that's where Tom Dooley met his Waterloo

Little General Napoleon of France
Tried to conquer the world but lost his chance
Met defeat known as Bonaparte's Retreat
And that's where Napoleon met his Waterloo

ROLL IN MY SWEET BABY'S ARMS

CHORUS
Roll in my sweet baby's arms
Roll in my sweet baby's arms
Lay around this shack til the mail train comes back
And I'll roll in my sweet baby's arms

Where were you last Saturday night
While I was laying in jail
Walking the streets with somebody else
Wouldn't even go my bail

Mom's a gingerbread baker
Sister can weave and spin
Daddy's got an interest in an old cotton gin
Money keeps rollin in

OKLAHOMA HILLS
Way down yonder in the Indian nation
I ride my pony on the reservation
In those Oklahoma hills where I was born
Way down yonder in the Indian nation
A cowboy's life is my occupation
In those Oklahoma hills where I was born

Many a month has come and gone
Since I wandered from my home
In those Oklahoma hills where I was born
Many a page of life has turned
Many a lesson I have learned
While I feel like in those hills I still belong

But as I sit here today
Many miles I am away
From the place I rode my pony through the draw
While oaken black jack trees
Kiss purple prairie breeze
In those Oklahoma hills where I was born

Now as I turn life a page
To the land of the great old sage
In those Oklahoma hills where I was born
While black oil rolls and flows
And snow white cotton grows
In those Oklahoma hills where I was born

DEEP IN THE HEART OF TEXAS

There's a land, a western land, wonderful to see
It's the land I understand, it's there I long to be

The stars at night are big and bright
Deep in the heart of Texas
The prairie sky is wide and high
Deep in the heart of Texas

The sage in bloom is like perfume
Deep in the heart of Texas
Reminds me of the one I love
Deep in the heart of Texas

The coyotes wail along the trail
Deep in the heart of Texas
The rabbits rush around the brush
Deep in the heart of Texas

The cowboys cry Ki yip pee yi
Deep in the heart of Texas
The dogies bawl and bawl and bawl
Deep in the heart of Texas

TEDDY BEARS' PICNIC
If you go down to the woods today
You're sure of a big surprise
If you go down to the woods today
You better go in disguise 
For ev'ry bear that ever there was
Will gather there for certain, because
Today's the day the Teddy Bears have their picnic

Ev'ry Teddy Bear who's been good
Is sure of a treat today
There's lots of marvelous things to eat
And wonderful games to play 
Beneath the trees where nobody sees
They'll hide and seek as long as they please
Cause that's the way the Teddy Bears have their picnic 

If you go down to the woods today
You better not go alone
It's lovely down in the woods today
But safer to stay at home 
For ev'ry bear that ever there was
Will gather there for certain, because
Today's the day the Teddy Bears have their picnic 

Picnic time for Teddy Bears
The Teddy Bears have a lovely time today
Watch them, catch them unawares
See them picnic on their holiday
See them gaily gad about
They love to play and shout
They never have any care
At 6:00 their Mommies and Daddies
Take them home to bed
Because they're tired little Teddy Bears


TITANIC
Oh, they built the ship Titanic to sail the ocean blue
They thought they had a ship
Water wouldn't go through
But the good Lord raised his hand
Said this ship will never land
It was sad when the great ship went down

CHORUS
It was sad, it was sad 
It was sad when the great ship went down
To the bottom of the sea 
Husbands and wives, little children lost their lives
It was sad when that great ship went down

Oh, they sailed away from England and were almost to the shore
When the rich refused to associate with the poor
So they put them down below where they were the first to go
It was sad when the great ship went down

Oh, they swung the lifeboats out o'er the deep and raging sea
When the band struck up with "Nearer My God to Thee"
Little children wept and cried as the waves swept o'er the side
It was sad when the great ship went down


TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALL GAME
Take me out to the ballgame
Take me out to the crowd
Buy me some peanuts and CrackerJacks
I don't care if we never get back
So it's root, root, root for the home team
If they don't win it's a shame
For it's 1, 2, 3 strikes you're out
At the old ball game!


ON TOP OF SPAGHETTI
On top of spaghetti
All covered with cheese
I lost my poor meatball
When somebody sneezed

It rolled off the table
And onto the floor
And then my poor meatball
Rolled out the door

It rolled in the garden
And under a bush
And then my poor meatball
Was nothing but mush

The mush was as tasty
As tasty could be
And then the next summer
It grew into a tree

The tree was all covered
All covered with moss
And on it grew meatballs
And tomato sauce

If you eat spaghetti
All covered with cheese
Hold onto your meatball
Lest somebody sneeze


ITSY BITSY SPIDER 
The itsy-bitsy spider went up the water spout 
Down came the rain and washed the spider out
Out came the sun and dried up all the rain 
And the itsy-bitsy spider went up the spout again 
She wouldn't let the elements distract her from her goal 
The purpose of her struggle was imbedded in her soul
Now see the sun shine down on beasts, on women and on men 
And see the itsy-bitsy spider rise again! 

CHORUS
Rise again! Rise again! 
She will not let misfortune keep her 
From doing what she can
So whether your legs number 2 or 4 or 8 or 10
Be like that itsy-bitsy spider 
Rise again! 

This itsy-bitsy metaphor's a lesson to us all 
We cannot be defeated if we rise each time we fall 
And if you think this story's one you learned too long ago 
Then think about some other ones you know
You know the myth of Sisyphus and you know Jack and Jill 
It's such a potent image going up and down a hill 
So every time you fall or lose a friend 
Be like that itsy-bitsy spider 
Rise again! 

Perhaps you think this allegory goes a bit too far 
Climbing up a pipe is not like reaching for a star 
Whether it's a water spout or mountain that you climb 
You've come this far, indulge me one more time
It could be said that each of us climbs up a water spout 
The downward pull of gravity's not what it's all about 
The upward pull of hope is what will save us in the end 
Be like that itsy-bitsy spider 
Rise again! 

Final chorus: 
Rise again! Rise again! 
Never let misfortune keep you 
From doing what you can, 
And whether your legs number two 
Or 4 or 8 or 10 
Be like that itsy-bitsy spider 
Rise again!