Porcine, All Too Porcine
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Disclaimer: The characters and back-story of Ranma 1/2 are the creation
of Rumiko Takahashi.
Ranma's image suddenly came into focus in the corner of Ryouga's
eye. Ryouga jerked his head up, cursing. "Damn you, Ranma, stay out of
my life!" Rapidly yanking the key out of the tractor he was driving,
Ryouga grabbed his umbrella in his right hand and rolled out the side
of tractor cab opposite Ranma's menacing figure. Frantically yanking
bandannas from his hair with his free hand, Ryouga tossed them in the
air, forming a spinning barricade against his foe. Maybe he'd get a
lucky hit in.
A few of the projectiles sliced through the metal framework of
Ryouga's vehicle, but the rest could be seen flying off in the air,
knocked off course by Ranma's skillful blows. Soon enough -- too soon,
before Ryouga had time to fully catch his bearings and settle into a
combat mindset -- the figure of Ryouga's dark-haired nemesis was
visible in the air above the tractor.
Ryouga thrust his umbrella like a sword towards Ranma, still in the
air and thus with limited ability to dodge. Ranma's face grimaced as
he miraculously folded his body in mid-air around the umbrella; but
Ryouga had been diving even as he thrust, catching himself on the
ground with one hand and arcing his powerful legs in a crushing kick
into Ranma's now horizontal ribs. With nothing to grab onto, up in the
air, Ranma was sent flying back twenty feet, to land in the freshly
furrowed field behind the tractor.
Ryouga was already on his feet, running towards Ranma's body, hoping
to end the fight while it was still winnable. Unfortunately, Ranma was
on his feet; and Ryouga nearly cringed when he recognized the stance.
"You thought you could beat me, pig boy? You'll never beat me. You
can't even hit me from there, and I've got my ... MOUKO TAKABISHA!"
The so-called "fierce tiger bullet", a technique Ranma had developed
in desperation only by shamelessly adapting one of Ryouga's own
attacks, one more ultimate sign of Ranma's perfidy, roared by, missing
Ryouga only due to the Hibiki scion's timely ducking under the nearby
tractor.
'How I hate you, Ranma,' Ryouga thought viciously. 'You know ever
since I married Akari, I've been too content to summon my own Shi Shi
Houkoudon." Ryouga's "roaring lion bullet" was the technique Ranma had
stolen, a manifestation of chi that could be propelled at his
foes. But it required a particular mindset, one raging against the
limitations imposed by the natural world and an indescribable fury at
how it could torment a man, isolating his every weakness and turning
his triumphs into tragedy.
As Ryouga thought that, his mind fell back on the disappointments of
this last year. The long hours of backbreaking work, the discovery
that Akari was infertile, mortgaging the farm to afford fertility
treatments, the attendant increase in work, Akari's growing distance
from him and preoccupation with her heritage...
Ryouga stood up. "Ranma, " he began, menacingly quiet. "Ranma Saotome,
prepare to die!" Black energy crackled around Ryouga, ascending into
the sky, perhaps the tallest pillar Ryouga had ever created. "Ultimate
Shishi Houkoudan!" Ryouga cried, pouring his soul into it....
"Ryouga, honey! What's wrong?" Akari's worried face appeared in
Ryouga's blurred vision, as he blinked in surprise, his eyes feeling
leaden in the cool dark room. "Are you having a nightmare?"
"Akari... wha?"
"Shh, honey, you'll wake the pigs. Whatever it was, it's all
right. It's all right, it was only a dream..." Akari's cool voice was
a salve to Ryouga's irritation, grounding him as he came back to
reality.
"Oh, right. I guess it was just a nightmare, after all..." Ryouga felt
relieved. But also guilty. His life wasn't so horrible... why had he
dreamt of fighting his worst enemy, of channelling bonecrushing
depression and rage into a final, fatal strike. He had his Akari by
his side, the best sumo pigs in all of Japan, and a prosperous
farm. He hadn't even seen Ranma in years, their last fight over Akane
having probably permanently sundered their friendship. On the other
hand, Ryouga didn't have a lot of time to go visit his friends or
family, nowadays. So he didn't even know what Ranma or Akane thought
of him, not really.
"Now, don't go back to bed. You've got to go out and finish that field
before tomorrow, when the banker comes."
Ryouga groaned. Turning over, he could see the cool luminescence of a
digital alarm clock. "Come on, Akari, I just came to bed 2 hours ago."
"A farmer's life is rarely easy, Ryouga." Akari's voice held a hint of
disapproval -- she rarely showed more, but it was clear she was
disappointed at Ryouga's laziness.
"No, Akari, I didn't mean it like that. I just... Oh forget it."
Ryouga climbed out of bed, the night air just making him feel worse
about leaving the side of his beloved wife. He pulled on a pair of
coveralls, and a straw hat. When the sun rose in a few hours, it was
likely to prove a hot day, particularly if he had to spend all day out
there as he had every other day this week.
"I'll... I'll finish the field by tomorrow, Akari. Don't worry... I
won't let you down!" Ryouga desperately promised, hoping he'd have
enough strength to make good on his word.
"Ryouga... I know this is hard on you. But if we don't have something
to show the banker, he's said he'll foreclose; and I can't bear to be
the first Unryuu in 10 generations to lose any part of this farm. Even
if..." Akari trailed off, obviously reluctant to go further.
He tried to force himself into an unfamiliar optimism. "Don't worry,
Akari. After this, we'll go to another clinic. We'll have a family
yet."
"Of course, dear husband. But there are other things we may need the
money for, first. We will discuss this when the time comes. Now, go
work hard; I will bring you your breakfast at sunrise."
- * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - *
"I'm finished! A day early, and I'm finished!" Ryouga was
ecstatic. The sun had fallen only a few hours ago, but the large field,
visible only under the light of the halogen lamps attached to the
tractor, was finally finished. "Ha ha! Ha ha ha! Take that,
Mr. Yashiro!"
"What's that, Mr. Hibiki?"
Ryouga pulled up short, startled, at the urbane, polished,
condescending voice coming out of the darkness. Now that he was
alerted, even in his fatigue the speck of a lantern approaching his
position was obvious.
"Hello, dear." Akari at the end of a long day was enough to take
anybody's breath away. Her hair was lying loose across her shoulders,
and she looked slightly nervous. "Mr. Yashiro came a bit early, so I
was just showing him around the farm for a bit before he inspected the
field. You... you didn't find any last-minute issues when you came out
today to look it over, did you?"
Ryouga nodded slightly at her, appreciating her desire to show no
weakness, and giving her as much reassurance as possible.
"Yes, well, our contract did specify November 19th, and while
normally we might wait until later in the day, well... I thought it
best to put this behind us as soon as possible. I know you weren't
looking forward to the inspection, so I'm sure you agree that's best,
yes?" Not pausing, the banker lifted his lantern and began peering
around the field.
"Ah, so you did finish the plowing and planting. And this is an
entirely new field you've cleared?" There was a barely perceptible
note in his inflection, clearly implying that they were lying
degenerate scum intent on ripping off his bank, but maintaining his
tone of affable civility.
"Yes!" Akari snapped, then flushed pink in embarrassment. "I mean,
yes, it's exactly as we agreed to in our loan agreement. One cleared
new field, and we'll have a new generation of prize-winning pigs
within one year." She ran to keep up with Mr. Yashiro's pacing the
field bounds, while Ryouga trailed behind helplessly, feeling too
drained for any real reaction.
"Of course you will. Well, the problems with this field aren't visible
now, so I suppose I shall have to mark this phase as satisfactory."
"Satisfactory? Just satisfactory?" Ryouga did manage to drag up a few
wisps of offended pride at that. "That's just barely passing! There's
nothing wrong with this field! It's perfect! It's great! It'll produce
as much as the next two farms' fields! No, three!"
"Shall I mark that down as a promise?" Mr. Yashiro had whipped out a
pen and tablet faster than Ryouga's eyes could follow. Then he
restored them to ... wherever they had come from. "But no, a contract
is a contract, no matter how you tricked this fine bank into
committing to one with you. As long as you meet the given goals
satisfactorily, your farm is safe. If you fail even one, why, I
suppose I would have to negotiate a mutually agreeable compromise."
A pause. "About how much the farm is worth split up amongst your
neighbors."
"You wouldn't!"
"Oh, I would never fail to live up to a contract." Mr. Yashiro's eyes
gleamed coldly. "But I'm sure you won't, either. You'll manage; I'm
sure the rumors that your one boar Katsunishiki has not produced
viable offspring in over a year are... exaggerated. And if they are,
you can probably afford insemination fees, yes?"
"Of course we'll meet your final inspection, with at least one viable
prize-winning competition Sumo pig in our stables. That is what we
agreed to." Akari's eyes were flint-like. "But your inspection is now
done, is it not? So we'll have to ask you to leave; sometimes some of
the more feral pigs come out at night, not yet trained to the
formalities of sumo. Such as leaving their opponents alive. Come,
Ryouga." Ryouga had come to Akari's shoulder, and was doing his best
to loom menacingly in her support.
Mr Yashiro's walk was somewhat less dignified, showing some signs of
hurrying to leave the Unryuu farm before Akari and Ryouga made it back
to the farmhouse. As he left the lights of the tractor, the lantern
still held in his hand began to bob and weave, indicating that he had
taken Akari's warning quite seriously.
As they walked, Ryouga was content to droop, to slip his arm around
Akari, and to let her take on the burden of navigating their way back
to the house. He could just close his eyes and relax and ...
With a start, Ryouga found himself being pushed inside the ring where
they trained the pigs in the art of sumo. 'Great, I really need to get
some sleep.' "Akari," he said aloud, "do you think you could bring me
something to eat? I'm just going to wash up a little bit; I'm too
tired to do anything else tonight."
"Sure, in just a minute, honey." As Akari said this, Ryouga focused
his bleary eyes on the other side of the ring, where Katsunishiki was
standing, his now grizzled fur lending him a harsh dignity.
Ryouga blinked, and then noticed that Katsunishiki was closer. "What's
going on?"
"I just need a sign, Ryouga. I need a sign that what I'm doing is
right. Now, defend yourself."
Katsunishiki was definitely closer.
"Defend myself?"
"Defend yourself!"
"Argh!" Ryouga twisted his hips, bracing to meet Katsunishiki's
charge, but the wily pig was prepared; the charge had been a feint
after all. But it had brought him to one side of Ryouga, and with a
quick butt of the massive porcine head, Ryouga found himself knocked
off his feet.
"All right, if that's the way you wanna play it...." Ryouga was trying
to focus, to bring to bear his rage, but he felt hollow inside. He had
spent too much of himself these last few weeks, he could summon no
confidence in himself. And any attack would have been useless anyway,
as Akari had come up to him, grabbing him in a hug.
"Oh, husband, do not strain yourself. I just needed a sign, and that
was it. You have exhausted yourself; do not worry. Come, let us go to
bed."
- * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - *
Ryouga felt warm. 'Ah, blessed sunshine,' he thought, remembering with
pleasure how the bedroom window faced east, allowing him to wake with
the warm sun on those few occasions he could afford to sleep so late.
But then he felt water splashing over him, tingling in a way he had
felt only once before, many years past.
A deep masculine, yet oddly sibilant, voice hissed, "So, it is
done. You will have one year to try to perfect the art of pig sumo. If
your experiment proves... satisfactory... I will unlock his form. If
not... I believe your pigs' bloodlines will thank you, and perhaps
your sons or your sons' sons will appreciate the benefits of blending
martial arts with bestial instincts."
Ryouga could not believe his ears. He recognized that voice. He had
last heard it on a mountain top, when he and Ranma and Mousse had
fought to unlock their curse, fought the almost invincible dragonlord
Herb and his two inhuman companions. He slowly turned his large,
porcine eyes to see the other two people in the room.
"Yes, thank you," Akari's voice was soft. "Please... go now. I must
talk with my husband."
"Very well..." Ryouga felt the reptilian presence withdraw, giving him
some comfort that he was not about to face an alien martial artist out
to revenge some slight, while Ryouga was trapped as a small pig.
"Husband. Ryouga. You're probably going to be very mad at me. And I
deserve that. But this is the only way that I can see. We need a new
generation of pigs, with a bloodline even better than Katsunishiki's
if we're going to remain champions against all of our rivals, and we
can't afford the breeder's fees. That nice Chinese gentleman's coming
by was a clear indication from the heavens, I thought; and to be sure,
I tested you against Katsunishiki. The gods interceded in that fight;
that's the only way you could have lost, my dear, beloved husband!
We can perfect the Unryuu artform, we can make a mark to shine in the
history of pig raising that will last for centuries. Please, please,
for me..."
Ryouga felt her pick him up by the scruff of the neck and leave their
bedroom, leave their house and head for the pens. He felt the
helplessness of his form, but even more, the helplessness of his self
against his love for Akari. He would do it! He would do anything for
Akari!
He kept repeating his determination to himself, as a mantra, as he was
lowered into a pen, where the first of the Unryuu sows waited. As he
moved towards her, stubbornly determined to begin his Herculean task,
he could hear Akari speaking, as she watched. "My darling pig. Ryouga,
my darling, darling pig."
Author's notes: OK, this little spamfic came floating out of an irc
discussion from yesterday. I pounded it out in just a few hours, so
I'm sure it could use some C&C.