| Are We Exclusive? There is an ever changing openion of when a couple is actually an exclusive couple this is something I'd like to address for everyone from a females point of view. |
| From the beginning of my dating career, (and yes as far as i'm concerned dating is a part time career) the rules and guidelines of dating have changed and evolved. So has the rules in regards of exclusive relationships. Including the introduction of this wonderful term that I personaly despise "friends with benefits". Stage One (Grade School): Now I have to say this was an easy one. Remember when you would be in class and would find a girl/boy that you liked and you would have one of two options open to you. 1. You tell your friend to tell his/her friend that you liked her/him. 2. You would pass a note in class saying do you like me circle yes or no. Then they would pass it back with the verdict. At this stage in the game one of two things concreted a relationship 1. holding hands 2. a kiss behind the bleachers. This was sinple enough no conflict of drama. This was a happy time. No comfusion or frustration. I loved this stage. Stage two (high school): High school on the other hand got a little more dicey but non the less pretty straightforward from how I can see it. You went out on a couple dates. If you liked each other you would declare that you were "going out" and that would be that. Of course the school tramps would be after your man but for the most part until either of you found someone else you'd be happy. The breakup of course was alot more painful and emotionaly devastating. Especially If you were the "dumpee" it was expected to morn ove the relationship for a few days then life would go on. As for the "dumper" he/she would be ridaculed, beat down called an asshole and so on but soon enough another couple would break up and the heat would be off them. Still somewhat straightforward, though a little more emotional. Stage three (post high school, real life) Here is where the confusion is... so in order to trudge through the confusion I thought I'd break it down to you this way. Define some terminology and the try to piece it togeather. 1. "friends with benefits" - Friends that have sex and seem to be in an exclusive relationship but are in fact single. 2. "dating" - meaning going out togeather from time to time though there is no real commitment on either part to preform any type of commitment ritual such as daily phone calls, semi-daily outings/visits etc. There in an emplied though not voiced acknowledgement that either party may be dating someone else. 3. "seeing each other" - same as dating. Though alot of times this may be exclusive depending on the terms 4. "going out" - it meant being exclusive in high school and it means it here to. Note for the baby boomers "going out" refers to "going steady" in your time. 5. "the talk" - refers to the talk couples may have to decide if the relationship is going to be hicked up to anohter level SO how do you KNOW what division your relationship is in if you havn't had "the talk?" well, let me tell you or at least how i've come to see it anyhow. |