| April 24/2002 : Topic Dead Beat Dads: Should they be allowed to walk into a childs life on there own whim? This has been a very hot topic for me for some time now especially since it hits close to home. So the question: Should a man be allowed to walk away from a relationship and child without a second glance and then years later decide "ohhhh what the hell maybe I should go see my kid now?" Now I realize that the majority of my readers are male and a good portion of then have children and a few of you that have children have done the exact same thing i'm about to bitch about if that's the case you should listen up because if the ex hasn't said this to you then I guarentee she wants/wanted to....... Lets take a quich walkthrough of the situation a couple are togeather for however long and the man promises the world on a platter to his spouce and thier child. And you think to yourself wow this guy if for real he wants to take care of us and be a family to us. So all goes well then one day out of the blue without explaination he walks out the door without a second glance. It takes a while to comprehend that a person that just yesterday said they wanted to spend the rest of thier lives with you ups and leaves just like that but in time the baby and mother get over it and move on. A couple years pass by without a word from the childs father you hear tidbits here and there like the girl he was cheating on you with canceled his ass last week. Or he's now on his second baby. and so on yada yada yada. Of course there is no money coming to you for the baby from the loser you have to take care of the baby completly and entirely yourself and though there are hard times there are also good ones. Eventually you meet a new man and as far as the baby is concerned this new man is DAD so why bother correcting a 2 year old? So you leave it and everyone is happy. Then one day you get a knock on the door and who stands before you but the very man that made your life miserable for months after he left the same one that abandoned his family and he's there to ask for forgiveness. He states that he was stupid, he was young, got scared, that's why he took off without a word not even a christmas card, not because he's an inconsiderate asshole but because he wasn't mature enough for the responsibility. Ohhhhh but hey he's ready now to play daddy now that the diapers are gone and the all night walking the floors rocking the baby to sleep days are over. Yep he wants to come back after not caring enough to even make sure you were OK. Hell he even lied to everyone about the circumstances of the relationship.... Told everyone that it was your fault that he never stuck around that we didn't want him around that the female forbid him to see his own child. When he knew the truth but wasn't man enough to fess up to it. Everyone knew the truth anyhow what especially made his case bad when he decided to move in with someone else a few weeks after she supposedly told him to take a hike. But he states that the relationship was a rebound thing he was overwroght with pain over the situation! So anyhow here he is begging your forgiveness stating he loves you blah blah blas the same old bullshit she had listened to the whole time they were togeather. Ohhhhh but by god he's decided to wants to have a relationship with the baby at least. Hasn't cared about a relationship the last 2 years because he was too busy partying and screwing whatever he could get ahold of. Oh course a relationship would put a damper in that I suppose. Needless to say you tell him to take a flying leap and never come back he wasn't around the last 2 years he's not needed now! Here's the problem the SOB decides that not good enough, so he finally decided to fight it in court. So you know what he'll get for running out on his responcibilities...... Visitation rights..... why you ask? Well the court feels the baby has a right to see his father well let me tell you something no man that walks out on his own child without a second glance has any right to his child as far as I'm cooncerned if you take off then your gone for good jack!!!!! There's no coming back.... So you planning on coming back for a few months maybe try out the daddy thing for something new now that your life is in the shitter, and no one gives a shit if you live or die! Mind you of course he'll have to pay child support and bak support for the time he didn't even bother to give a cent. But you know what it's not about the money it's about the fact that in life we make choices and there are consequences to those choices. If when the baby got older and wanted to see his father then that is different but as fas as i'm concerned if he accepts the new man as the father figure the let the situation be until he comes to you. There's some things in life you have to live with and living with the fact that you abandoned your child is one of them. Deal with it but leave the families alone your no longer needed or wanted! |
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