RANDOM THOUGHTS

May-June 1999

In one of his recent columns, Jim Wright meandered on about nothing in particular for a couple of pages. As I've always had a dislike of planning, the format appealed to me. Thus, I give you "Random Thoughts", which is basically identical to Jim's column, except that it's not as good and is written by another person.

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I saw "Resolutions" again the other day, and came to the conclusion that Chakotay has the soul of a poet. All the subtlety of a sledgehammer, but the soul of a poet. And that episode, wonderful as its two main characters are, was about as romantic and compelling as the Australian Constitution.

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Suggestion for Star Trek merchandising: the Tickle-me Tuvok. Create a stuffed Tuvok doll, disembowel a Tickle-me Elmo and perform the world's first Monster-Vulcan intestine transplant. And thus you have a Tickle-me Tuvok. For a follow up, we could have a Snoring-Chakotay and a Shopping Fun Seven.

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I was going to see American History X (featuring Avery Brooks, Jennifer Lien and some other actors important enough to get their names on the poster) at the movies when it came out, but Birch Carroll and Coyle didn't release it at my local suburban cinema. I started to save the money to go into Brisbane (I live about an hour away) to see it, but I couldn't find anyone to go with, so I spent the money buying the video with "30 Days" & "Counterpoint" instead. Note to Birch Carroll ad Coyle: this is the second time a movie I wanted to see wasn't released in my local area. If you can't distribute to all your cinemas, can you at least try for an even spread across Brisbane?

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I did, however, get ino Brisbane to see Cube in March. Good movie, highly recommended. I haven't even seen season 7 of DS9, but Nicole DeBoer was so good in Cube that Ezri's my favourite character in that series.

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I found Scenes from the Class Struggle at Beverly Hills, starring Robert Beltran, at my local Blockbuster, but it had the words "sex comedy" on the back, so my mother wouldn't let me get it out, even though it was only rated M. And I also found Eating Raoul, but that seems to have disappeared to wherever it is that videos go to when no one gets them out for a few years. I can only say that, wherever it is, Eating Raoul has He-Man and the Masters of the Universe (starring Robert Duncan McNeill) and A Stranger is Watching (starring Kate Mulgrew) for company.

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I really hate the way Star Trek novels aren't always released in Australia. Or they are, but they're really hard to find. If other South-East Queensland residents have the same problem, I'd like to recommend Paige's Bookshop, in the Queen Street Mall. Sooner or later, Paige's gets just about every SF book released, even the notoriously-hard-to-find-in-an-Angus-&-Robertson Vorkosigan Saga, by Lois McMaster Bujold.

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If other South-East Queensland residents don't have the same problem, I'd very much like to know their secret.

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I truly dislike the way Jeri Ryan (one of my favourite actresses) is photographed a lot of the time. As a heterosexual female, I suppose my thoughts on female attractiveness are merely academic, but I still think she looks a lot better as Seven than she does in a lot of her publicity photos. She just has a classic kind of beauty which is much more effective when her hair is brushed off her face and her makeup is subtle. All the pouts and disshevelled hair give Jeri's image a definite slutty quality which I find reduces my respect for her as an acress.

But maybe I'm jealous.

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Has anyone else noticed the parallels between Nell Porter on Ally McBeal and Seven of Nine? Both seemingly icy, competent efficient blondes, with fantastic hair (you can tell I'm writing this on a bad hair day, can't you?) and more emotional rivals. Cool.

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Still on the Ally McBeal theme, has anyone else noticed how much Georgia and Billy look like a young Janeway and Chakotay. Well, not wreally, but it sounds good. And has anyone else noticed how much Janeway and Chakotay look like a three dimensional Fred and Wilma Flintstone? (It's lucky for the producers of the live-action Flintstones sequel that I'm not a casting director.

Lucky for Mulgrew and Beltran too, I suspect.

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Every time I see "Unforgettable" (only once so far, because I have a weak stomach), I find myself thinking about crazy fans who sneak into actor's trailers and try to seduce them. Did you know that many stalkers believe that they have had a romantic liason with the object of their obsession? If I were Chakotay, I would have been very, very afraid.

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Regarding boxing, Chakotay's sport of choice: I suppose it does have some redeeming qualities, eg, it's not football, but ... honestly ... yuck!

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Copyright © 1999 Elizabeth Barr

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