Summary: Janeway and Chakotay meet on Earth as Janeway remembers an absent friend.

Characters are the property of Paramount Pictures.  No profit is derived from this fanfic.
 

Chakotay frowned when he saw the slender figure standing before the Starfleet memorial.  She was out of uniform, but even obscured by a thick jacket, there was no mistaking Kathryn Janeway.

For a moment he thought of moving on without speaking to her – they hadn't spoken much since reaching Earth.  It was his fault, he knew. The relationship with Seven was probably forgivable, but he should have told her himself, instead of waiting until the rumours – suitably embellished – reached her ears.  But she'd been his best friend for seven years…

Drawing closer, he saw that she held a flower, a rose.  Sunlight shone from the tears on her cheeks, and all at once he regretted the intrusion.  He was about to turn and leave when a rock crunched under his foot.

Kathryn swung around, already wiping the tears from her face.  Her eyes widened when she recognised him.

"Chakotay," she breathed.  Her pretended not to hear the catch in her voice.  "Hi…"

"I, uh, I saw you.  I thought I'd say hi, but if I'm intruding…" He turned to leave.

"Stay."  She smiled slightly.  "It's been so long since we spoke."

Chakotay turned back.  Staring up at the memorial he said, "I was under the impression that you were angry with me."

"I was.  But—" she waved her hand at the monument— "I've learnt not to take old friends for granted."

Chakotay understood.  It had been hard, returning to the alpha quadrant and finding that so many old friends, Academy classmates and former shipmates had died.  He nodded at the flower.

"Someone special?"

"Stephen Downing."

"The captain of the Chancellor?"  Lost two weeks ago in a skirmish with Tholian raiders.  He'd met Downing once, he remembered.  A large, fair man with a laugh that could be heard across a large room and a mind which seemed to feed on information.

"Yeah.  He was a good friend."

Hesitantly, Chakotay wrapped an arm around her shoulder.  After a moment, she leaned against him.

"I'm having his baby," she added.

Chakotay choked.  "A very good friend, then."

She smiled sadly.  "It wasn't like that.  We were old friends. I was lonely, and he understood.  When we found out that I was pregnant … well, he wasn't exactly going to marry me, but he planned to be around.  It was nice."

"Only nice?"

"To have a future, after seven years of living from day to day, with all the stress and isolation of the delta quadrant … it was indescribable. 'Nice' is inadequate, but it's the closest I can come."  She took a deep breath. "I still have a future, but it's not what I'd expected."

"Life doesn't usually work out the way we expect, Kathryn."

"I know.  But so many of my friends have died.  And none of us planned for our lives to go this way."  She pulled away from him and added the rose to the other offerings at the foot of the memorial.  She traced the Starfleet insignia carved into the polished stone.  "It wasn't going to be like this."

Chakotay offered her his arm.  She took it, allowing him to lead her away.

"Kathryn?" he asked, "are you all right?"

She touched his hand.  "I will be.  I'm just remembering.  Preparing to let go."  She paused, looking away.  "How are you?  And Seven?"

"We're both fine."

She smiled.  "Good."  They sat down on a bench.  "I'm not angry anymore," she added.

"Um.  Thanks."  She'd said it before, but it felt good to know for sure.  He touched her hand.  "I'm sorry."

Kathryn tilted her head.  "For becoming involved with her, or for not telling me straight off?"

"For not telling you.  I handled it badly."  She nodded at that.  "But I can't apologise for becoming involved."

"No, you're not at all sorry for that."  For a moment he thought she was upset, but then he saw the twinkle in her eye.  "Apology accepted."

They sat in silence.  Chakotay took a moment to study her features.  She'd lost the gauntness she'd developed in the delta quadrant.  Her face was still slightly puffy from her tears, and he found that he wanted to wipe it clean and somehow make her happy.

Kathryn noticed his scrutiny.  "I'll be fine," she promised.

"I know."

"Listen.  I'm going to visit Tuvok next week.  I have some business at the Vulcan Science Academy, and I'll be on Vulcan for a few weeks.  When I come back, can I visit you?"

Chakotay smiled.  "Of course.  You were always welcome."

She kissed him on the cheek and stood up.  "Thankyou.  I need you, Chakotay.  I've missed you."

Chakotay stood and hugged her.  "I know.  I understand."

They stood for a moment.  "Keep safe," Kathryn whispered, and she walked away.  Her coat fell open, and Chakotay caught a glimpse of her slightly rounded figure. The pregnancy wasn't visible yet, but she seemed more rounded.  She looked healthy.

Chakotay watched her go, and smiled.

END

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Copyright © 2001 Elizabeth M. Barr

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