A Blank Page - A Fresh Start
by Yours Truly - January 2001
A New Year - 2001 another chance to redeem myself in the eyes of the world and actually write something funny or useful; maybe, with luck both can be achieved although I feel it is increasingly unlikely given that I am assimilating local culture more and more as time goes by.
I no longer feel as I did when I first arrived - all that culture shock (waddya mean I can't wear my undershirt to the mall? it's just a mall fer chrissake!!) - now I glance with bemusement at the under-dressed foreigners that invade Merida at this time of the year; laugh at their silly questions, and get angry when they make some ignorant remark about all the ruins being the same - just another big pile of rocks.
An example of my acculturation: the other day I accidentally mixed Spanish in with the English in a way that made me laugh out loud when I realized what I had said! Feeling the pangs of a stomach ache, I actually said "My stomach dwells". Now if that isn't an example of total cultural immersion taken to extremes, I don't know what is.
Perhaps the coming year will see me mellow out completely, to the point where I am writing wonderful, glowing reviews of the fine service available at Carrefour and applauding intermissions at Merida's movie theaters. No, I'd have to be overdosing on Prozac to get to that stage of complacency!
Or, my writing could become even more visceral and scathing, to the point where I am really expelled from the country for offending some of the weaker minds that dare to point their web browsers this way. Why the hell do they even bother to read this page if it bothers them so much?
While I'm on the subject of offending, what IS it with the giant Mexican flag in that silly municipal plaza next to Liverpool? Can't the authorities find anyone to make a decent flag that doesn't shred to bits every single bloody time they hang the thing out there? Hey, a little breeze whips up and the red part of the flag starts ripping away from the rest of it, section by section. The last time it was up, a week ago as of this writing, the Mexican flag consisted of a green section, the white part with the snake and the eagle and a few strands of red cloth left over from the entire red section!! Real classy let me tell ya! Mexicans are so uptight about their 'simbolos patrios' like their flag and their anthem and their heroes and their million days off per year for different heroic events that no one can remember - why can't they find someone to make them a proper flag!!!
As I read this, I think it will be more fun and more therapeutic for me (my shrink suggested writing this online newsletter as a way of dealing with feelings of frustration and bewilderment in this foreign country I have come to love and call home) to continue the more acerbic (look it up) version and not a more watered-down, Prozac-ish, politically correct version.
I'm glad I could share this with you, get it off my chest and decide in this democratic fashion how NotTheNews will continue this year. I would also like to take this opportunity to wish all my readers (there are more than 15 now - whew!) a very happy New Year and hope to continue hearing from you throughout this 2001.
