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A Day Trip to Celestun, Yucatan
February, 2000
Another day trip!
The Casual Critic and Co. filled the gas tank and headed out to the coast once again, this time to the supposedly charming, sleepy seaside village of Celestun, right here in the state of Yucatan.
After much driving through towns like Ucu, Hunucma and others, and a seemingly interminable drive through flat boring countryside with only the occasional glimpse of wildlife in the form of a group of buzzards, an overheated iguana racing across the asphalt like his feet were on fire, and a bright red cardinal, the group arrived at a makeshift concrete bridge that spanned the Ria, a half fresh/half sea water inlet where an abundant flamingo colony have put Celestun on the map.
The boat ride out to the flamingo colony and back was one of the more enjoyable excursions ever undertaken by this ornery old critic. The scenery was beautiful, there were many types of birds such as egrets, ospreys, coots etc., but the flamingos, thousands of them, were absolutely breathtaking. The boat approached the colony slowly; then the outboard motor is shut off so that one is actually floating among the flamingos, who chatter loudly and keep a respectful distance. It's an incredible feeling.
The trip back consists of more birds such as herons and seagulls as well as the others mentioned previously, and a short trip through the mangroves. Then a stop at a natural fresh water underground (and underwater) spring, where you get out of the boat and swim in the crystal clear water. You can feel the water spouting up under your feet!
This is a must-do kind of thing if you are visiting Merida and if you live here and haven't been, shame on you and get your complacent butt out there ASAP.
Tours are priced at $400.00 per boat which includes the guy running the boat (what a relief). Then the guide who in this case was bilingual and ver personable, comes along for 150.00 more. At no time was there a feeling of having been ripped off or being on a cheesy American Express "2 day Whirlwind thru 20 of Europes' Capitals" type of tour.
After this remarkable paseo, it's back to the dock and off to Celestun for lunch.
Celestun is famous for it's seafood, in much the same way that Chelem, Progreso and Chicxulub are famous for their seafood. And the similarity doesn't stop there. Celestun, like Progreso and Chelem and Chicxulub, is a sandy, all concrete and no paint, mess of construction on what was probably once upon a time a beautiful beach. And the seafood is not much different either. The same cocteles, the same fried fish, the same garlic shrimp; not a sign of anything remotely creative as far as the gastronomy in concerned. Why then, is it famous? Who knows.
Today's choice of restaurant was the Restaurante Celestun, which you practically run into when driving into the village.
Two other tables were occupied and the Critics' party asked about whole fried fish, since a couple of groupers had just been presented on a platter, raw, to the next table. These were quoted as $50.00 each. When asked, the passing waiter responded that he was fresh out of those, but had some at $60.00 each. In the Critics's mind, a small warning lamp began to glow faintly.
The short individual who was to be the Critics' unlucky waiter, eventually came around to take a drink order. One of the persons in the party requested a michelada, which is a dressed up beer, with lemon juice, tabasco, Worcestershire etc. The waiter informed the table that since lemons were scarce, and very expensive, they weren't making micheladas right now. Feeling that the waiter had surpassed himself in the disclosure department, the Critic could sense a slight increase in intensity of the mental red warning lamp.
When the drinks were served (obviously, no lemonade was ordered), the food order was taken. One person in the party requested the $50.00 fried fish, and was again informed that it was no longer available but that there was fried fish at $60.00. While everyone else at the table ordered, the one party member who had a hankering for some fried fish, was still ruminating (look it up) on the subject when the 'waiter' kindly reminded her that if he was to pass the order along to the kitchen as is, and then return for her fish order (fried or otherwise) it would take that much longer. He reminded the guest that his little block of paper featured a sort of numbered folio system, and if he went to the next table to take an order, he wasn't going to be able to serve the fish (fried at $60.00 or otherwise) at the same time as the rest of the table, since the other tables order would be sandwiched in there. The Critic reminds the readers that the other table in question was a new group of 5 persons, bringing the total restaurant population to a whopping 3 tables. And there were no numbers on his little order blocks either.
More warning lamps began to glow when the so-called server mentioned that, in any case, the fried fish would take longer since it was frozen - not to say it wasn't fresh mind you, but quickly frozen to conserve the... the... the... "Flavor?" the Critic offered. "Yes, the flavor" came the response.
What this little man with no gastronomic experience was trying to tell his customer was:
DON'T ORDER THE DAMN FRIED FISH!!!!!!!!
Finally everyone had ordered, and after a reasonable wait, the food came out more or less together. It was as interesting or as insipid as any seafood you can order in Chicxulub, Chelem or Progreso. Interesting and flavorful if you like that kind of seafood, insipid if it all seems a little over-rated and blown out of proportion to you.
The Critic suggests packing a tuna sandwich lunch and
then finding some place on the beach to eat that 'seafood' in Celestun.
