Service in Merida

The idea of customer service has never been popular in Merida and all the Calidad Total courses in the world couldn't make a dent in the local business owner's stone-faced facade. Here, the most important activity of a business is to make the sale. Once that has been accomplished, it's on to the next sale. Forget about customer returns on defective parts; if that Braun blender you bought isn't working properly, it's your damn problem and so don't bother the store owner with it. If you really insist, the store will inform you that it's really Braun's problem, and you'll have to contact them directly, after all it's not his fault is it? You want I should stand behind what I sell? Not here, you spoiled first-world refugee idiot. "So where do I contact Braun?" you ask, desperate to get the blender working for those piña coladas you were going to make for the reunion on Saturday. "No sabria decirle" the store clerk/owner/salesperson shrugs, before going back to reading the latest adventures of his el vaquero macho y la gringa con las enormes... comic.

Ah, my favorite phrase in all the world... no sabria decirle. Let me repeat it in large bold letters, so you will recognize it when you hear it:

So you get the address for the local Braun rep in Merida and call him up. You do this because this is how it's done in the U.S. or anyplace else that has telephone service, and also because the rep is located in a hole in the wall in one of two ungodly places: downtown on 64 street between 81 and 83 sur, or on the ever-popular Avenida Itzaes/Aviacion/Circuito which is basically somewhere you don't want to drive. hint: the name changes depending on the altura (height??!!) of the street.

"Bueno*1" is what you hear on the other end. Now you wonder where you are calling; no company name, no catchy sales slogan, and definitely no 'can I help you', so you ask the obviously interested person on the other end where you are calling. "Where do you want to call?" is invariably the curt response. Now you have to explain that you are looking for the Braun rep to get your blender fixed/replaced. "We don't fix blenders" comes the reply.

You can see where I'm going with this. In the end, you may find someone intelligent enough to figure out what you want, but you'll have to come to the store personally with the faulty blender, they will find the faulty part, they won't have it in stock, they'll have to order it from Mexico City, or perhaps that model has been discontinued, in any case you'll have to leave it, pay in advance for the part if there is one, and go home and wait. And make martinis (shaken, not stirred) for the Saturday reunion. By the way, don't expect a phone call, you'll have to remember to remind them. One day you'll get fed up and buy another blender on sale at la Curacao and like any self-respecting citizen of this fine city, ask the salesperson to plug it in and see that it is working before signing off on that Carnet or Visa card.
"Oh, by the way, do you know where I can get cash from a machine" you ask the salesman, who, now that the sale is in the can, is completely disinterested in you or your life problems. His answer?

Water treatment is a necessity in Merida. The water is extremely hard and heavily chlorinated in the city and if you have your own well, God only know what you're pumping up. And if you like to take invigorating showers, forget it in Merida without a pressure tank system, because invigorating turns to infuriating awful fast when that lame trickle drips onto your soapy shoulders.

Moving from one house to another, we turned over all our water softening equipment to the local water treatment company Repama, who were going to overhaul it and since it was expensive, we decided to pay it off in several payments; besides, the new house wan't quite ready yet.
Short version: When we were ready to install the equipment, they brought out completely different and far inferior equipment than what we had given them. When we complained, they confessed to having sold our equipment! After much complaining and threatening, which included our vehicles blocking their vehicles in our driveway one sunny afternoon until they agreed to replace (and physically brought it in another vehicle) a particularly super-sub-standard piece of equipment, we had our water system installed and working.

Repama = Caveat Emptor.

More from the real life files:

In our business, we deal with several suppliers. When ordering items, we usually get them the next day and often there are a few items missing. When we call back to ask why these were not sent, the usual answer is a disinterested "we're out". Didn't they know this when they took the order? Couldn't they have called back a few moments later to advise that some products were not available and would we care for a substitute? Not here. So we ask when these missing items will be back in stock. The answer?

Am I rambling again? Sorry. There are so many examples. I could go on and on and on and on!

The worst part is that the U.S. and other foreign companies coming here, instead of elevating the level of service to first world level, actually succumb to the pressures of the expression-less service-challenged employees and instead of training them to be better at client relations, adopt local customs almost immediately. Obvious examples? Sam's Club in Merida is horrendous! Every single employee has a face that screams GO TO HELL while the on the back of their vest it says "Ask me... I can help". Complaining and female? Don't get offended if the supervisor calls you 'preciosa' or some other fuera de lugar comment.

Like Sam's, but to a lesser degree, are some of the fast-food personnel, with the exception of Burger King, which has obviously made a superhuman effort.

Who takes the cake? Carrefour! It is truly painful to go shopping there, especially at night, when every employee wants to go home and can't stand to see another customer, and has absolutely no qualms whatsoever about letting you know it. On one Christmas Eve, I went to buy something last-minute and the ham lady (you know, the one slicing cold cuts for customers) was literally throwing jamon americano at the customers, cursing under her breath and not so under her breath, and stomping like she was putting our brush fires. Really. I was there.

Why is service this bad in Merida? Some say that the Mayans were never particularly friendly in their commercial transactions, like say the huaches are in Mexico, all toothy smiles and handshakes. Others say it is because there are jobs for everyone in Merida, and there's no real incentives for employees to try real hard; there's always another job someplace else. Others blame it on the owners, who are too busy with more important things than dealing with the customers.

One thing is for sure. If you're used to dealing with helpful knowledgable store clerks who will go out of their way to make that sale and make sure you are happy and will keep coming back, and you expect the same in Merida, you most certainly go out of your mind and start writing insane bulletins to post on the World Wide Web. So get used to it, because good service is not going to be coming to this town anytime soon.