C O R R U P T I O N - I T   S T A R T S   I N   S C H O O L

Preambulo

Anyone who reads this silly newsletter has probably heard or read about widespread corruption in Mexico, from the friendly tip to a willing traffic cop, to a helpful economical stimulus for that clerk to help move the paperwork a little bit faster.

Everybody knows about it; hell, a Canadian diplomat at the Canadian embassy was even 'recalled' back home when he announced to the press in Mexico City that the corruption there, in the face of a deal fallen through for Canadian company Bombardier, was the worst he had ever seen. 'Not very diplomatic' Canada's foreign relations people thought, and along with the verbal and political slap on the wrist offered him a cushy office job (Royal Commission on Penguin Motor Reflexes and How This Could Affect Canadian Unity) on a small secluded iceberg in the middle of Hudsons Bay.

Mexicans however just shrugged their shoulders and couldn't understand all the fuss. They said "So what else is new". Just recently, the Diario de Yucatan, Merida's leading newspaper and moral authority, announced in a headline on page one that Mexico was again, for the second straight year, in the enviable position of appearing on the list of the World Top 60 of most corrupt countries.

Hey, there's another distinction to celebrate in this month of La Patria where everyone celebrates how great the country is and takes yet another day off work and school instead of actually working to bring about some change and making the country a better place to be in.

You wonder, if you're a neurotic outsider like me, how it is possible that everybody takes for granted that this is the way it is, from the lowliest post office clerk to the country's leading politicians; the only difference between the two is the amount involved.

Since this is the September Back To School Issue, I actually got off my comfy chair and investigated some rumours I had heard and was amazed (but perhaps not that surprised) to find that corruption begins in... school. The following information is shocking and true, and the closest thing to investigative reporting ever done by this bile-spewing newsletter. If you are a student, you will be amazed at how easily grades can be bought. As a parent you will be either stunned at the outrage, or worried about the cost of your child's high school education, depending on your own personal code of ethics and views on the modern world.

And if you are someone who is even faintly concerned about the future of Mexico, you will become extremely depressed and realize that the next generations of adults will have built-in corruption-acceptance and will all be knowledge-free career licenciados and doctores because they never learned a damn thing in school. These will be the people leading Mexico into the new millenium! Viva Mexico!

The following information has been gleaned (love that word) from ONE public high school only, and does not necessarily represent all high schools (snicker snicker - I'll leave that one in the air). Even the private high schools have their share of dubious teaching methods and revenue-producing schemes, like Padres at catholic schools who request in no uncertain terms that they would sure appreciate a new car from their student body.


Here come some interesting facts about unorthodox teacher-incentive programs at the
PreparatoriaFederal SA
(high school), for second year students; apparently year one and three aren't that bad. I've outlined the situations by subject, and school and teacher's names have been initialled to protect the guilty.

Historia


History features two teachers, teaching 50 -55 students each. One of the teachers, ABQ, organizes mutualistas for general grading purposes and exams. The idea is to collect 40 pesos per student over a few month period, and to make this project more palatable for the students, the money is paid in small amounts during the term. A student or perhaps more than one is selected for the task of collecting the pesos and keeping track of who has paid and how much. If this seleccionado student is your friend, you only pay the teachers cuota; if, however, you don't get along with this fellow student, you may have to pay a little extra to him to ensure that the money you're paying to the teachers' fund actually makes it to the list. Kind of a double whammy situation there.
The other history teacher, TP, uses the phrase 20 buenas razones (20 good reasons) to incite his students to help him out of his financial misery. As in: "Hey Mr. P., how come I got such a low score? Is there any way I can get a better grade?" "Well," replies this bastion of moral integrity "If you can give me 20 good reasons why I should improve your grade, I'll do it."
The current exchange rate for Reasons is:
1 Reason = 1 Mexican Peso
Literatura

The favorite Lit teacher is 'zeritos' a nickname given to MA, who liberally hands out zeros in advance to students for minor misdemeanors during class. These are applied to any future exams and quizzes, and are presumably recorded somewhere in some sort of little black book. Fortunately for those wishing to reverse these zeritos, they are recorded in pencil and can be erased. For a few pesos here and there, or perhaps a torta or pop, the zeros can be eliminated.

Major exams, however, are another story; passing those can be ensured without studying by a short (30-40 peso) visit to his office for bimestrales (bi-monthly) or by means of a 50 peso contribution for the ordinarios which are a little lengthier and more elaborate. In lieu of this last option, you can also raid your parent's liquor cabinet and give a bottle of rum or vodka to make up for your academic failures. Do NOT show up with a bottle of Baraima Limon rum however; this middling quality brand is not acceptable. It is a known fact that the teacher prefers Bacardi Solera, Absolut or Chivas.
 

Etica


Even if you aren't fluent in Spanish, you'll recognize that this subject is Ethics. And, while it may seem outrageous and only a little contradictory to spittle-frothing foreigners like me, the ethics teacher presents $olutions to grade problems as well.

While the teacher AR sermonizes about Mexico's corruption and the inherent problems that this causes at all levels of business, government and society, the students stare at him glassy-eyed and completely bored, not listening to a word he's saying. After all, they don't have to! Passing grades for bimestrales in the Ethics class cost between 50 and 70 pesos, while the ordinarios run quite a bit steeper at 100-150 pesos per exam.

The modus operandi involves completing your test in pencil, which can then be erased and the correct answer filled in, by the teacher and at his di$cretion. The corrections are apparently done at his home.

This is Ethics, folks!

Matematicas


EM teaches math and since this is a tough subject and students usually find it boring as hell, prices for both bimestrales and ordinarios are a little higher than the previous subjects. Passing grades for the former cost 100-150 pesos per exam while the ordinarios will set you back 200-250 pesos. Here there are no pencilled-in answers. Instead, as the teacher passes out the exams, he also slips in small cheat sheets that contain a number of answers directly proportional to the amount paid beforehand. Yes all payment must be made prior to the actual event being negotiated, no credit is currently available. Also, the cheat sheets vary in their answers, so as not to produce duplicate test results.

A package deal has also worked in the past, where a lot of automotive accesories, for that new car he bought with previous year's extorsions savings, was exchanged for passing grades on two or more exams. Obviously these car parts need to be quality parts; no junk brands, please.

Quimica


DU teaches Chemistry at this charming secondary school, and, as the only female staffer to appear in this little diatribe, she adds a special flair to the tactics employed by our previous subjects. Being a mom, and having nowhere to leave her charming offspring, she sees no other alternative than to take them to clase with her. Keep in mind that she teaches chemistry for the afternoon classes and so her little trogloditos are otherwise unoccupied. Imagine trying to study with a couple of kids darting around the classroom. "Mommy teacher must be really concentrating on my education" is probably a thought that occurs to one or two students during the class.

If you want to pass a bimestral in this class, you could offer to babysit these very same little sweethearts, who have been described to me as severely socially-challenged, so that Teacher can have a night out. Ordinarios, on the other hand, are the costliest of all the subjects we have looked at today: 300-350 pesitos per exam. Why so much? Porque es quimica. So many formulas, so many experiments, who needs it? No cash? No problemo. Donations are accepted in lieu of cash and could be any of the following:

Please keep in mind that if the items bought for the teacher are not acceptable or liked for whatever reason, the teacher can and will refuse them, and you'll be stuck with that item and will have to find a replacement, if you're at all serious about your education.

Additionally, to ensure that the class is having fun, much more so than with traditional teaching methods and simple chemical symbol charts, wild and crazy raffles are instigated by the teacher for the student's amusement and her personal profit. Too many school backpacks for the kids around her house? (Dad bought a pair and Mom did too, each without realizing that the other had done the same - now there were 4 backpacks for 2 kids! Egads!). Raffle them off! At 5 pesos a ticket, equivalent to 1 point on your exams(s), and everybody has to buy at least one ticket! Needless to say, a good time was had by all.

Con Super Maz, Tus Tareas Valen Mas!* Yes, our profesora de quimica apparently coined this catchy slogan to motivate her students. She hands out her frequent-shoppers card (from local supermarket SuperMaz) and encourages students to shop, or have their families shop, with her card at SuperMaz. The card makes the rounds of the classroom and the beginning and final number of points is recorded each time the card moves along. The more points earned by each student, the higher the score on the exam(s)! Ratio: 1 point (or star) per exam point.

*With SuperMaz, Your Homework is Worth More

 

 
 
 


Like I mentioned before, this is the case of one school only, a public secondary school, and I certainly would never infer that the entire system is somewhat mouldy around the edges, although since it is so heavily politicized, it probably smells worse the higher you scratch.

In any case, what are the students doing? Nothing in particular. If you go along with it, you're part of the system; if you go up against it you risk failing that class, getting kicked out of school, losing a lot of your school 'friends' 'cuz they "kinda like the way things are actually why'd ya go and mess it up for everybody??". Some students practice selective teacher-motivation and only pay when there is absolutely no other way.

So the basic premise of any country's future; it's youth, is already being corrupted (for those with access to higher education) while those that don't have access to education are kept in the proverbial dark. The blind leading the blind. What kind of country will our grand-children inherit?



so write me already!



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