Movies in Merida
For foreigners visiting Merida, going to the movies might seem like
a ludicrous thing to do on your vacation, but when you have a free night
and there's a movie that you didn't see back home when it came out a year
ago, going to an air-conditioned movie theater is not such a bad idea after
all.
For locals, going to the movies is one of the main attractions, since
there is precious little else to do entertainment-wise in this town. Art
galleries are mostly down-town and simply thinking of driving in that direction
gives many residents of northern Merida a headache. So it's off to the
movies.
The type of movies to be found in Merida are mostly American box office
hits, all in English with Spanish subtitles that often leave much to be
desired. Entire plot twists can be lost when some English-challenged translator
gives you his/her version of the dialogue. Not as bad as the Sony Channel
on DirecTV but almost. The only movies that are in Spanish are the cartoons,
as in all the Walt Disney and now SKG studio stuff (and wasn't the Prince
of Egypt awful????!!!). Fine art and generally slow films never make to
Merida's movie screens, and if one slips through by accident or oversight,
they will last about 1 day at the most. Anything controversial can also
miraculously not appear here, even if it was a hit in the U.S.. This was
the case of the movie Godfather III, which was here for a day only, probably
due to it's mentioning corruption in the Vatican.
In Merida, there are many options to choose from, movie theater wise,
the U.S. - wide movie business downturn not having hit here yet. People
just prefer to go out rather than rent and stay home. It's a social thing,
a throwback to the days when the citizens of most Mexican towns would go
to mass in the early evening and then head to the zocalo or main square
to walk around and socialize. Malls fill the bill these days and instead
of just walking around, a movie is a must. The most attractive or modern
"multiplex" is in the Gran Plaza, where 5 salas show different movies
unless they are presenting some huge box office hit, when they will put
that movie in 2 theaters and leave the other three for anything else. Other
theaters include the 3-plex at Plaza Dorada, the Internacional downtown
on 59th and 58th streets, that other one in Parque Hidalgo in front of
the Cafe Express a popular hangout and people watching place on 60 street,
the recently overhauled and split in half behemoth Rex in Santiago or thereabouts,
the Colon, which used to be Merida's premier theater and where the owners
still put the first run movies first so people will still go, and some
others whose names escape me at the moment. The best sound is in Plaza
Dorada and Gran Plaza. These are competing movie theater companies and
yet they usually run the same movies at any given time.
Current movie prices are 26 pesos per entrada, and it goes up every
month or so. This is still cheap for foreigners with dollars, marcs or
yen, but if you consider that this is almost the minimum daily wage for
Yucatan it is relatively expensive, comparatively speaking. No food is
allowed on the premises, althought I was let into the Gran Plaza the other
day with a half-finished coffee, which was a real first.
The Preliminaries
Make sure to relieve yourselve appropriately before you go to the movies,
since the bathrooms, while clean in most cinemas, do not offer that optional
luxury called a toilet seat on their W.C.'s, so you'll have to suspend
yourself over a frigid ceramic bowl - not a fun situation let me tell you.
This particular detail is almost as infuriating as the next one:
When lining up to get into the theater (after you have your tickets)
you'll notice that there is no one at the concession stand buying hot dogs,
white bread sandwiches or popcorn. The custom is to go in, find a seat,
leave a date/partner/offspring/parent/sibling/pet in the seats to fend
off would-be seat thieves and head back out against the flow of the incoming
'hurry hurry hurry' rush to get popcorn. The ticket guy is so gifted that
he remembers each and every one of the people that he took their tickets
from when you go back in for the second time holding your 'goodies' without
a ticket.
The Previews
The excitement starts when the lights dim a little and you start getting
an overhead projector type slide show, only these are all ads. Most are
quite bad, as it would be extremely hard to read most of them, especially
since the majority hired the same production company who obviously felt
an imperious need to completely describe each and every service performed
by the company advertising itself. When this torture is over, the lights
dim a little more and we are into the movie-commercial section. This is
where big companies like Chrysler, Ford, Bacardi or Aeromexico show what
is basically a television ad on the big screen. Again, this is part of
the fun, and I'm sure that everyone agrees that it is a very effective
form of advertising and we will all run out and buy Bacardi after the show.
Following all this blatant commercialism, the lights dim a little more
and we're into the previews. Previews for most movies are stuffed before
the main feature, regardless of what that feature may be. So if you're
in the movie theater with little kids to watch say that schlocky Prince
of Egypt, you'll be treated to a preview of I Know What You did Last Temporada
or some other bloody shoot-em up movie. Parental discretion advised.
Finally, popcorn box in hand (you've already finished all the popcorn
through all that) you're ready for the movie. As I mentioned, you'll be
watching in English and seeing Spanish subtitles. Everything is going well
when all of a sudden...
The Intermission
Local movie theater owners have problems making any money or so it would
seem, since I don't think that the Hollywood guys give a rat's ear on how
the peso is doing vis a vis the almighty dollar and don't charge less for
a movie to be sent to Mexico. The theaters, therefore, besides raising
the admission prices every little while, need their concession stand to
survive. So you, the movie goer are treated to a guillotine - type intermission
at some point in the film, usually in the least convenient place. I doubt
very much that the staff in charge cares where they cut the film; they
are probably looking at a watch and when the moment comes, WHACK, they
hit that switch and everyne groans. Now I have never spoken to anyone who
actually likes the intermissions; in fact, everyone unanimously hates them,
but besides uttering a groan and shaking their heads, no other protest
is made and the great majority of the general public gets up and visits
the concession stand like a bunch of dumb sheep. If that isn't infuriating
enough, the movie resumes it's now totally fractured momentum without warning,
so that as you try to get back into the movie, people are squeezing in
front of you with their 'treats' perhaps a bucket of popcorn with oil and
spicy chile sauce topping, or some of those god-awful "nachos" with yellow
melted plastic on top. In any case, you finish the movie, trying to ignore
the lip-smacking and wrapper crunching around you and get to...
The End of The Movie
The end of the movie is announced several minutes before it actually happens
by another clock-punching employee trotting down the aisle, keys a-jangling,
to slam open the exit doors. It would seem that the general public is incapable
of opening these high-tech doors themselves, and the attendant has now
made official the end of the film, and if you were enjoying the movie too
much to notice that time was almost up, you sure as hell do now. Wait there's
more!
The Credits
Let's say you're a movie buff and want to know who did such and such or
wrote the music. Or maybe you enjoyed the scenery so much you would like
to know where it was filmed. Perhaps you want to know who played that obscure
character in the scene by the ocean. Whatever your motivation may be for
seeing the credits, YOU'RE OUTTA LUCK!! After the door slamming open, and
the lights coming back on, the movie itself is left in audio mode only
(maybe the bulb in the projector is really expensive and so we're saving
some money here folks) so you can hear the music but not see anything.
A delightful handmade overhead slide comes on the screen telling you not
to forget your personal belongings. And that's it; join the sheep as they
head back out to the heat!
