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Osama bin Laden and one of his followers were riding on a camel when they stopped at a small town. Bin Laden gets off the camel and lifts up its tail and looks at the camel's butt, just then a guy comes over and says, "What are you doing?" Osama replies, "About 2 miles back I heard someone say, 'Hey, look at the two assholes on that camel.'"

What's the most famous coffee in Afghanistan? Osama bin Latte

Blind Bunny, Meet Blind Snake One morning a blind bunny was hopping down the bunny trail, and he tripped over a large snake and fell, KerPlop!, right on his twitchy little nose. "Oh, please excuse me!" said the bunny. "I didn't mean to trip over you, but I'm blind and can't see." "That's perfectly all right," replied the snake. "To be sure, it was my fault. I didn't mean to trip you, but I'm blind too, and I didn't see you coming. By the way, what kind of animal are you?" "Well, I really don't know," said the bunny. "I'm blind, and I've never seen myself. Maybe you could examine me and find out." So the snake felt the bunny all over, and he said, "Well, you're soft, and cuddly, and you have long silky ears, and a little fluffy tail and a dear twitchy little nose... You must be a bunny rabbit!" Then he said, "I can't thank you enough, but by the way, what kind of animal are you?" And the snake replied that he didn't know, and the bunny agreed to examine him, and when he was finished, the snake said, "Well, what kind of an animal am I?" So the bunny felt the snake all over, and he replied, "You're hard, you're cold, you're slimy and you haven't got any balls... You must be a lawyer."

there were once three boys in a classroom called Zip, Dick and Pee. Their teacher went out of the classroom so they decided to get up to some mischeif. Zip got on top of the cupboard, Dick got inside and Pee jumped around outside. The teacher came back in and said, ''Zip down, Dick out and Pee in the corner!''

Q: You are stuck in an elevator with a tiger, a lion and a lawyer. You have a gun with just two bullets in it. What do you do? A: Shoot the lawyer twice to make sure he's dead

Yo Mama is like a bus, she's big she doesn't smell very good and it's only a dollar to ride

Time magazine sent a survey to women in Arkansas, asking for their opinions on the Clinton Sex Scandal. One of the questions: Would you ever have an affair with Bill Clinton? The results were staggering! 5% — No 3% — Yes 92% — Never Again

Tom Cruise, Steven Seagal, and Alec Baldwin were in a jungle filming a movie. Sadly, they were taken prisoner by the local tribe. As they were about to be executed, they begged the queen of the tribe for mercy. She considered their plea and said, "Get me something good to eat. If I like it, you will be freed." The three stars looked at each other and agreed. They then went into the jungle to look for some food. Tom Cruise was the first to come back. He came up to the altar and offered grapes. She tasted one and immediately spat it out. She ordered her servants to shove the rest of them up his bum. They did and he cried out in pain. Seagal was the next to arrive with some yummy apples. The same thing happened to him, but curiously he laughed as the apples were shoved up his bum. Tom Cruise was shocked. Here he was howling in pain, but Seagal was still laughing. Tom asked him, "What the hell is so funny?" Seagal, still laughing, replied, "Alec is coming back with four pineapples."

What tennis player can be seen in poo? Anna Corn-ikova

Two newlyweds were in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night. As they were undressing for bed, the husband -- who was a big burly man -- tossed his trousers to his bride and said, "Here, put these on." She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body. "I can't wear your trousers," she said. "That's right,'' said the husband, "and don't you ever forget it. I'm the man who wears the pants in this family." With that she flipped him her panties and said, "Try these on." He tried them on and found he could only get them on as far as his kneecaps. "Hell," he said. ''I can't get into your panties!" She replied, "That's right, and that's the way it's going to stay until your attitude changes."

Yo Mama is so fat, if she buys a fur coat, the species will become extinct.

A blonde and a brunette were opening their paychecks when the blonde asked the brunette what she was going to buy. The brunette replied, "I think I'll buy a new set of plates because mine are chipped. What are you going to buy?" The blonde said, "Oh well the, I guess I'm gonna buy a new butt, because my old one has an enormous crack in it."

A man left his cat with his brother while he went on vacation for a week. When he came back, he called his brother to see when he could pick the cat up. The brother hesitated, then said, "I'm so sorry, but while you were away, the cat died." The man was very upset and yelled, "You know, you could have broken the news to me better than that. When I called today, you could have said he was on the roof and wouldn't come down. Then when I called the next day, you could have said that he had fallen off and the vet was working on patching him up. Then when I called the third day, you could have said he had passed away." The brother thought about it and apologized. "So how's Mom?" asked the man. "She's on the roof and won't come down."

G. W. Bush was very depressed that people were saying he is stupid. So he calls his good friend Queen Elizabeth, who says, "Now George, what you need to do is to surround yourself with smart people. Let me show you." She conference calls Tony Blair in and asks, "Tony, your parents had a baby. It isn't your sister and it isn't your brother. Who is it?" Tony Blair replies, "It's me!" and hangs up. G.W. Bush then calls Dick Cheney and says, "Dick, your parents had a baby. It isn't your sister and it isn't your brother. Who is it?" And Cheney says, "Wow, that's a tough one. Let me get back to you." So Cheney calls Colin Powell and says, "Colin, your parents had a baby. It isn't your sister and it isn't your brother. Who is it?" And Colin Powell says, "It's me!" So Cheney calls Bush and says, "It's Colin Powell." And Bush says, "No, you idiot! It's Tony Blair!"

Yo mamma's so retarded, she thinks "yo mama" jokes are funny.