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elvin graduates from college

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Interview with elvin's teacher
Nevil: How was elvin as a kid?
Teacher: Just a normal kid. Nothing extraordinary.
Nevil: You're lying! Elvin was a brilliant kid! Look at him now!
Teacher: Who told you?
Nevil: I should know. I'm his number one fan!
Teacher: Well I was his teacher. I should know too.
Nevil: Ok. How does it feel having a student who is more brilliant than you?
Teacher: Uhm... are we still talking about elvin?
Nevil: Whoelse? He's the only student greater than his teacher.
Teacher: I think you should conduct a lot more research on this guy...
Nevil: Hey... I know everything about elvin. I know he's got a scar right on his forehead and another on his right leg!
Teacher: What is this interview for?
Nevil: For a fan site I built for him.
Teacher: You must be sick.
Nevil: I'm not. But you will be if you don't answer my questions truthfully. Now tell me... how great was elvin as a student?
Teacher: He was very quiet. He rarely interacts with other students. He's an introvert. In youthspeak, he's a loser.
Nevil: (Bangs teacher's head on the table) Do not insult elvin in front of me you...*#@$&!
Teacher: Ouch! Stop it you freak! Guard! Guard!
Nevil: There are no guards around here! You're in my house!
Teacher: Who said this is your house? We're in our school!
Nevil: Aw... you're right...
Teacher: Now will you help me? I'm bleeding here!
Nevil: Answer my question first!!!
Teacher: Ok...elvin was the greatest student I ever had. I know he will go places. He's excellent...he's amazing.
Nevil: Ok sir. What will you say to other kids out there who aspire to be like elvin?
Teacher: Hold on to your dreams... Now is that fine?
Nevil: Yes. Thank you.

Interview with elvin's ballet instructor
Nevil: Was elvin good in ballet?
Ballet Instructor: Who?
Nevil: Elvin. You don't know him? He's so popular.
Ballet Instructor: Elvin?
Nevil: Yes...This is his picture. (Shows picture)
Ballet Instructor: Well I know this guy. We're on the same neighborhood.
Nevil: I told you he's popular. Now answer my question.
Ballet Instructor: He never took ballet lessons.
Nevil: I told you he didn't. You insisted to be interviewed!
Ballet Instructor: Get lost (Slams door)

Interview with elvin's seatmate in kindergarten
Nevil: How was your life as elvin's seatmate?
Seatmate: It was... hell.
Nevil: Ha ha ha! You're a good joker! You must be so lucky!
Seatmate: We all feared to be his seatmate. I was the unluckiest in class.
Nevil: Ha ha ha! I wish I have your sense of humor!
Seatmate: I'm not joking.
Nevil: I know, I know. You're a natural! Ha ha ha!
Seatmate: Now will you excuse me? I don't have enough time for this.
Nevil: No. I have more questions for us to enjoy. What was elvin's usual lunch?
Seatmate: He never brought lunch. He bullied small children and stole sandwhiches in lunchboxes.
Nevil: Wow! He's really friendly! Imagine, you all brought lunch for him? He must be nice.
Seatmate: What are you talking about? He's a bully.
Nevil: You mean he fights bullies!
Seatmate: Whatever.
Nevil: So did he ever defend you or something? When..you know...whenever you get bullied?
Seatmate: He was the bully.
Nevil: You're not a good conversationalist. You lack consistency.
Seatmate: Just who are you?
Nevil: Nevil (reaches out hand) elvin's number one fan.
Seatmate: You need help.
Nevil: That's so sweet of you! Any help you can give me? You know...I'm building his fan site.
Seatmate: Sorry I don't speak to people with psychological problems.
Nevil: Don't worry. I won't let you speak with people with psychological problems.

Interview with elvin's barber
Nevil: Do you love cutting elvin's hair?
Barber: I like cutting hair. it's my job.
Nevil: Amazing! When you cut elvin's hair, where do you bring it?
Barber: Bring what?
Nevil: His hair! It's worth your life!
Barber: Well I just burn them...together with other hairs.
Nevil: You must be kidding! You just can't do that with his precious hair!
Barber: They're just like any other's.
Nevil: No! No! No! You just burned a treasure!.
Barber: Ha ha ha!
Nevil: Where is elvin's hair!
Barber: Why?
Nevil: I must have elvin's hair! Give it to me!
Barber: Hey I can't do that. Ok... may be I can call you the next time he gets his hair cut.
Nevil: No. I'm not leaving till you give me a strand of his hair!
Barber: I don't have them!
Nevil: You're selfish! You don't wanna share his hair!
Barber: Ouch! Why did you stab me with that scissor? Hand me that scissor!

Interview with elvin
Nevil: Hi elvin!
Elvin: Hi. How's your day?
Nevil: Bad! Until I saw you!
Elvin: That's great. Now what do we do?
Nevil: I'm your number one fan!
Elvin: Yeah. You already told me.
Nevil: How does it feel to be on top of the world?
Elvin: What? I'm not...
Nevil: You are.
Elvin: Ok. (Sighs) Mmmm... It feels good. Very rewarding.
Nevil: I see you're wiping your sweat with your hanky. Would you like me to sell that hanky to your fans?
Elvin: Ha ha ha! sorry I don't do that.
Nevil: Please?
Elvin: Next question please.
Nevil: Can I have you cloned?
Elvin: I don't want to be cloned.
Nevil: You're right. There is only one elvin! There must be only one elvin! But I'm seriously thinking of having you cloned. Your clone can have my mother as his mother too. that way, you can be my brother.
Elvin: Ok.
Nevil: Ok? You mean I can clone you?
Elvin: No! You got me wrong! I said ok...meaning...what's next!
Nevil: Ok I won't have you cloned!
Elvin: That's great!
Nevil: Elvin, what's that!!! (points to a direction behind elvin)
Elvin: What's what?
Nevil: (Grabs elvin's handkerchief and runs away)

Whom would you like Nevil to interview next? E-mail Nevil .