Subject: What I've Learned As I've Matured

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can

do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just

assholes.

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only

takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen

minutes. After that, you'd better have a big willy or huge boobs.

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they

are more screwed up than you think.

I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think

you're finished.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we

are celebrities.

I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship

is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of

money to take its place.

I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't working in

your house, one of your kids did it!

I've learned that the people you care most about in life are

taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just

never go away.

I've learned to say "F%@& em if they can't take a joke" in 6

languages.

<<    Back to Others  >>