Subject: EMBARRASSING MOMENTS!
>A competition was recently held to find the most embarrassing moments in
>people's lives. The following are the final four placegetters:
>
>
>Fourth Place
>While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some
>pent-up energy and started to run amuck. I was finally able to grab hold
>of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons.
>I told her that if she didn't start behaving herself right now, she would
>be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice
>just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma
>that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!". The silence was
>deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what
>they were doing! I mustered the last of my dignity and walked out of the
>bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing that I heard as the door
>closed behind me were the screams of laughter.
>
>
>Third Place
>It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I was living at home, but my
>parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over for a
>romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making love, we heard the
>telephone ringing downstairs. I suggested to my girlfriend that I give her
>a piggy-back ride to the phone. Since we didn't want to miss the call, we
>didn't have time to get dressed. When we got to the bottom of the stairs,
>the lights suddenly came on and a whole crowd of people yelled "SURPRISE!".
>My entire family, aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins and all of my
>friends were standing there! My girlfriend and I were frozen to the spot
>in a state of shock and embarrassment for what seemed like an eternity.
>Since then, no-one in my family has planned a surprise party again.
>
>
>Second Place
>A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got
>up to the checker, she learned that one of the items had no price tag.
>Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the public address system
>and boomed out for all the store to hear: "PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN,
>TAMPAX, SUPERSIZE." That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the
>store apparently misunderstood the word "Tampax" for "Thumbtacks". In a
>very business-like tone, a voice boomed back over the public address
>system; "DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND THAT
>YOU BELT IN WITH A HAMMER ?"
>
>
>And the Winner Is?
>This actually happened at Harvard University in October last year. In a
>biology class, the professor was discussing the high glucose levels found
>in semen. A young female (freshman), raised her hand and asked, "If I
>understand what you are saying, there is a lot of glucose in male semen, as
>in sugar?" "That's correct." responded the professor, going on to add much
>statistical data. Raising her hand again, the sweet young thing asked,
>"Then why doesn't it taste sweet ?". After a stunned silence, the whole
>class burst out laughing, the poor girl turned bright red and as she
>realised exactly what she had inadvertently said (or rather implied), she
>picked up her books without a word and walked out of the class, and never
>returned. However, as she was going out of the door, the professor's reply
>was a classic. Totally straight-faced, he answered her question, "It
>doesn't taste sweet because the taste-buds for sweetness are on the tip of
>your tongue and not in the back of your throat."