(Cons soon to come) {ok not really, I just had to say that so you didn’t get confused on the title}
So anyways, reincarnation is true. It’s important for you to know this at least a month before you die so you can read this article. Trust, it’ll be a big help, try and keep up.
Now that everyone knows that reincarnation exists you’re probably freaking out going “Oh my Vishnu! Whatever are we going to do? I have no idea what I want to be reincarnated as!” Stop it. People don’t like to hear you bitch. It’s annoying. But, no need to bitch, because I’m here to save you from making a big mistake: Choosing the wrong thing to be reincarnated as.
First of all….WHITE PEOPLE, do not pick to be a white person again. That’s just dumb, you want to have at least one life where your race actually has some culture and self respect. Now on with the guide to help you choose.
White People (American born)- These people may do whatever they want. They have the money and the power to do it, so of course, they do. Another perk is you get to cause most of the worlds problems if you choose to become part of this lovely bunch of gluttons.
White People (European born)- Hooray for you, you’ve just chosen to be the worlds fashion icons. That’s right, all you have to do is put on whatever the hell you feel like and the whole world will go crazy. And, one of the bests Pros, you get to think you’re better than the other white people of the world. Which, of course, you probably are.
Black People (American born)- Ahh, I see you like a good challenge. That’s exactly what you’re going to get with this choice. You see, the only thing making this such a challenging race to be is the aforementioned American Born White People. You have to actually live and deal with these people everyday with this race. Yes, yes, I know, not fun. And even more not fun, most of the law enforcement is made up of those people. Good Luck.
Black People (European born)- Not as tough of a life as the American born strand. This is a pretty decent choice. You get to have a cool accent and be very cultured. Also, you get to be relatively alone, as there are not a lot of you about. The only problem is that you run the risk of being born in France. Actually, this goes for all European choices.
Chinese- Good choice. These people are very cultured, have lots of friends (tends to happen by default when you‘re crammed into a street with a billion other people), and don’t have to worry about racism since everyone is the same race in your country. Oh yeah, another, you get to be a commy bastard.
Japanese- Much like the Chinese without the communism thing, but with a couple other perks. Number one, you get all the best video games before everyone else. Number two, you’re pretty much guaranteed not to become a complete fuck up. And Number three, you don’t have to worry about hitting your head on things, because, well…..you’ll soon be using hover crafts as transportation (powered by Honda of course).
Australian- You get to be left alone for pretty much all your life excluding the time when they bring the Olympics to Sydney and you get to pride yourself in being descended from British Cnvicts and Aboriginals.
Russian- Uhh…….bring a jacket.
Island Native- This one is pretty cool, you pretty much get to hang out on the beach all the time with lots of topless women. The only bad thing I can think of is hurricane season. Oh, and tourism (those stupid American born white people again. Remember what I said about most of the worlds problems?).
Middle Eastern
First perk: You get to sport a nice tan pretty much 24/7.
Second Perk: Perfect if you like building sand castles
Third Perk: You get to hate the Christians without people getting all shocked that you hate them.
One Bad Thing: The American Born White People are going to bomb the shit out of you. But don’t worry. They’ll rebuild your country and put lots of McDonalds up in order to keep the peace.