The Top Ten Top Ten Lists
You've all seen it before. Top ten ways to lose weight.
Top ten ways to increase your sex drive. Top ten ways to better communicate
with your children. Or, you have the top ten lists that people actually
read....Top ten ways to get into college using only a butter knife and a can of
precut chicken parts, top ten ways for fat people to make me hate them less (
www.trainsaw.com ), and the top ten ways quantum physics can be applied to
daily life. Well ok, not so much the last one, but you get the point. These
lists take much time, effort, and creativity to compile. These are qualities
that no one on our huge staff possess. But it's ok, we found a way to get
around it. We are good at that, finding ways to get around things to make it
easier on ourselves. So here it is, The
Top Ten Top Ten Lists.
10. The top ten ways to
avoid death by zombies- First of all, zombies are cool. Thats one of the
reasons this list made our presitgious top ten. The second reason is because i
already know what the number one way to avoid death by zombies would be. Do
absolutely nothing because zombies don’t exist. But man, wouldn't it be sweet
if they did?
9. The top ten animals
that hurt people- This list is cool because I'd be willing to bet you could fit
an emu in there somewhere.
8. The top ten reasons to
kill yourself- Very good idea for a list. Especially if you're lazy. You
probably wouldn’t even have to come up with reasons 4,3,2, and 1. People
probably will have killed themselves before they got to these reasons. Less work
for you with a very minimal cost, right?
7. The top ten ways to
piss people off- This one is almost too easy to make. People get pissed about
the littlest things now a days. I mean, you throw one dead beaver in their yard
and accidentally knock their kid into the empty pool and all of the sudden they
get an attitude. What's with that?
6. The top ten people the
U.S.A will probably bomb- Another one of the easy ones. This is because this
isn't really a top ten. It's just a top one really. Brown People. George Carlin
was really on to something with this one. "If you're brown you're going
down." Hate to say it, but it's true. The US loves to bomb the hell out of
brown people.
5. The top ten (anything
that makes fun of religion)- You will most definately see this one on our site
in the future.
4. The top ten things
around me right now- This made the list because I couldnt think of a number
four top ten list.
3. The top ten funeral
themes- These themes can get real fun, and they help take some of that dreary
feeling that comes with funerals. No one really has put these themes into
practice though, I have no idea why. Who wouldnt want a Billy Idol Tribute
theme funeral? It's a nice day for a black funeral.
2. The top ten products
that children should play with- Weed out the stupid ones early.
1. The top ten top ten
lists- Did you really think that I was going to put any other list at the
number one spot? C'mon man, wise up.
And there you have it, The Top Ten Top Ten Lists.
Actually, now that I'm thinking about it and looking back on the lists, you'll
probably see every one of these up on this site in the future. Oh yeah, and
webmasters.....it's important for you to know that since I dont have any of
these lists written yet, if you steal the idea and write one I'm going tell
everyone that visits this site about it and they won't ever visit your site.
And trust me, thats a whole lot of people. What would you do if my entire
circle of four friends never went to your site again? Hmmm? Yeah, that's
right.....you think about that.