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My
Soul to Take
Now
I lay me down to sleep
The air slithered over him, cool and a little moist, smelling disturbingly, hauntingly like Iason. Riki blinked in the darkness, knowing his eyes were open but not seeing anything but blackness all around him. No starlight, nothing of the lights of the city that illuminated it as brightly as if it were day; no indication there was anything or anyone near, and yet*something* lay upon him as tangible as Iason himself. The scent of his submission, the price of himself. //Why won't you let me be,// he pleaded to the darkness. //You have my body; isn't that enough? Do you have to own my soul as well?// //What makes you think they're not the same?// The voice came back, cool and distant, yet close enough to make his body throb in response. //Your body alone would never be enough, Riki. You're mine. My pet. I own all that there is to you. Body, soul, all of it.// //It's not right,// he said quietly. In the background--or was that the foreground?--the sound of chains clinked softly, filling him with dread and longing all at once. //It's bad enough to own another, to lay claim to the physical; to demand all that they are is inhumane.// //Ahh, and have I ever treated you inhumanely? Done wrong by you?// The voice chided him gently, soothing and terrifying him all at once. Chains clinked again, and their coolness stole over his body, demanding, teasing, asking, giving. Riki shuddered, tried to pull back, but the voice, the *sounds*, followed him. //I will have all of you, Riki. All that you were, all that you are, all that you will be. Mine forever, body and soul.// //No,// he sobbed, knowing it was true even as he resisted. //Nonononono// "NO!" The lurch from asleep to awake, from nightmare to lucid, was almost as terrifying as the dream itself had been. Riki panted for a moment, then lay back, flattening himself against the pillow. Long, deep breaths to try to slow his breathing, to calm his racing heart. //It was a dream. Just a dream.// But the pale, flowing hair that even now tickled at his arm, and that musky, elusive scent that filled his nostrils told him the dream was only a stretching of his reality, if anything was stretched at all. Iason had never pretended to want less than all of him. //Why did I come here?// His voice echoed harshly inside his head, making the throbbing seem worse. He smiled bitterly, turning his head to look at the other man sleeping beside him, body curled inward, hair spreading out over both of them. //Did I really have any other choices? No.// The one choice that had been left wasn't any choice at all; he didn't want death as an option. But what sort of life was this? Death by slow suffocation? //Damn you, Guy. Damn you for pushing, for wanting, for// For being a friend. For wanting to be more. Again. Riki sighed and gave up trying to calm himself; he needed something else, help of some sort. A cigarette at the very least; maybe then he could sleep again. He crawled out of the big bed and stalked silently out of the shadowy room, not noticing the pale eyes that opened to track his moments. The soft clink of chains pulled him from one nightmare straight into another, the only difference that Riki could discern was that in sleep he couldn't ever see Iason, he could only hear him. Now he blinked fuzzily at the cool, aristocratic face, at those eyes that could see right through him, and he knew he was awake. He didn't need to turn his gaze to the side to see the slender links his *Master* held in one hand. "Iason?" Goosebumps prickled over his skin, making him shiver. The pale eyes narrowed, taking him in. "It's what you fear the most and want the most, isn't it, pet." The chain clinked softly as the cool metal stroked over his neck and down his chest. "Submission of your body is easy, isn't it? Pride, humiliation, honor, need, you lock them all away into a place far inside yourself." The links stung his nipples with their cold weight, pushing each flat nub into a hard, aching point, teased further by strong fingers. Riki turned his head away, squeezing his eyes shut. "Noyes." A low chuckle and another squeeze, nearly a caress, to his left nipple made him turn his head back. "You sound uncertain, Riki. Shall I show you again?" The fingers lingered, rubbing and petting him now, making him ache and throb throughout. Left nipple, right nipple. Squeeze, press, pinch, stroke. Over and over, until he was arching upward, hissing softly with arousal. "Iasonplease." He licked his lips, his voice tinged with a sob. "Master--" "You know why I wanted you back, Riki. You're mine. You'll belong to me forever." The fingers lifted, stroked lightly to his right wrist, and Riki moaned when the first shackle closed around him. "No" Echoes of his dream; was he truly awake? Or was this nightmare just more vivid, more detailed? He wanted to believe that, but didn't dare. "Why not?" The voice was warmer now; a little rougher. Riki met the other man's stare, shivering violently when Iason shackled his other wrist. His erection throbbed, the pet ring constricting him, adding to his arousal. "You know it. Body and soul, Riki. All of you." Soft lips whispered up his arm, pausing at his collar bone to press a kiss, lingered over one nipple to breathe lightly. Another kiss pressed to the underside of his jaw, then the low, night-dark velvet tones of Iason's voice filled his ear, filled him. "Give into me, Riki. Give me all of yourself." Iason's mouth covered his and Riki sobbed into the kiss. Submission of his body was easy; it was whoring, but it was only physical, nothing meant by it. Submission of his heart, of his soul was a price he could hardly bear, and it came so much harder. Giving into Iason, giving him that part of himself was both pleasure and pain. //And I want both,// he realized with a shock, opening for the kiss that had turned hungry, demanding. //I want to hurt for him, I want to feel pleasure for him. For me. My enjoyment, my sin, my penance.// Iason's hands held his head, Iason's hot tongue demanded his submission. Masters didn't kiss their pets. Masters didn't sleep with them, didn't fuck them, didn't do anything but enjoy watching them. Except Iason. Iason did it all; expected it all. Expected all of him. Demanded all of him. "My Riki." The voice was like spun-sugar, so sweet and airy, all around him. Warm, scented breath eased into his senses when Iason licked over his eyes and nose, then across his lips before biting down on the lower one. When Riki moaned softly Iason bit again a little harder, then licked at the small hurt. "My pet." Soft bite, hard sucking kiss on top of it, right over the throbbing vein on the side of Riki's throat. "My soul." The words were so soft Riki was sure he'd heard wrong; the harder bite to the side of his neck just below his ear made his body ache and throb as much as the imagined words. "Why?" he moaned, shuddering when Iason kissed down his chest, tongue dipping into the shallow well of his navel. "Why?" His chains rattled as he strained upward, wanting more of the caresses, wanting it to stop, so uncertain of what he wanted. Wanting more, wanting sanity, wanting salvationwanting to give in, to submit. Iason sat back and Riki's skin seemed to burn where those cool, pale eyes passed. He shifted against the negligible weight of the chains; the bondage they represented was far weightier than the metal itself. Iason flicked a nail across the hard peak of his left--always his left--nipple and Riki cried out as his cock throbbed hotly. "So responsive, even when you don't want to be." Pink flashed when Iason licked his lips; Riki mimicked the motion unaware, then wondered at the small smile that curled his Master's lips. "It took three years before, Riki. Have you unlearned all my lessons in your one year of freedom? I thought you'd grown to enjoy your position." "How could I?" he panted, eyes tracking Iason's fingers as best he could. Another flick of those elegant fingers and Riki groaned, his body arching beneath the sudden onslaught of pleasure/pain. "How could you not?" Iason countered, raking his fingernails down tender, sensitive flesh. "You have everything, pet. All you need to give meis yourself." Warm fingers cupped his sac, cradling him gently. Riki relaxed into the touch, moaning softly. The sudden stab of pain in the tender area just behind his balls rocked him, sending him arching up and backward, a sob breaking from his throat. "Pain is persuasive; more so than pleasure, at times. Which do you want, pet? Which is it that you crave, that your soul needs, to be mine?" Another stab, then another, the bite of an unseen fingernail, or needle hitting him deep, pulling another groan from him. His flesh throbbed, ached, and he welcomed the sensations. //I don't know!// he cried in his mind, aching with his need to give in and determined to resist it. "Riki." Warm fingers cupped his chin, forcing his head up so he could look at Iason. "Please don't," he whispered, leaning into the caressing fingers even as a part of him shrank back. "I don't want this" "You do. You want it; you need it. You know that, Riki." Iason leaned in and kissed him again, whispering against his lips. "Tell me, pet. Tell me how much you need to give me your soul, to belong to me utterly." Riki set his lips against the kiss, his body shaking. "No." The other man drew back, eyes narrowed. "It pleases me that you've retained a sense of self, but I admit I didn't expect it would be so strong when you came back." Iason disappeared into the shadows of the bedroom briefly; when he returned he had a low, padded stool with him. "Perhaps you need to re-learn some of those lessons, erase some of that strength." He pulled on the chains, urging Riki toward the edge of the bed. "Over here, pet." Riki flushed hotly; he remembered all too well some of his sessions on this stool, and some of the *lessons* he'd learned here. Iason fastened his shackles to the legs of the stool, then settled back onto the bed. His only acknowledgment of Riki was a slow, gentle caress to one flushed cheek before making himself comfortable. "Touch yourself, pet. I want to see you flushed with pleasure." The pale eyes were shadowed, but Riki could see them narrowed, watching him closely. He squirmed, his fingers twitching on the edge of the stool. "Iason--" "Do it, Riki. Show me how good you can make yourself feel. Spread your legs for me and let me see it all." It was a dreama nightmare, something. It had to be. No where else could Iason's eyes glitter so intensely; no where else could his heart pound the way it was, or his chest ache as it did. After a minute he dropped his eyes, his hands stroking slowly: nipples, belly, thighs, before he cupped his sac, then rubbed the base of his erection. "More, pet." The words were scarcely audible, more a whisper than a command, but they cut him deep, touching a part of himself that Riki didn't want to see or acknowledge. He shivered, letting his fingers slide up and down his fevered flesh, feeling it expand beneath his touch. He rubbed the palm of his hand over the slick head, teasing the small slit at the center with the unaccustomed friction, his low moan echoing around him, creating a smile on Iason's face. "Like that, yes. Open your legs for me, Riki. Let me see you. I want to see all of you." The chains clinked and chimed when he moved, making his cheeks burn hotter, keeping pace with the arousal and need thrumming through him. This was a flashback moment; the very first time he'd done this for Iason he was certain he did it for others as well, faceless, nameless others sitting just beyond the shadows of that room in the back of Iason's flat. Riki arched his back some, shivering when the chains clanked again as he moved his hand faster. "Wider, pet. Faster. Show me you like it show me you want it." "Please" Supplication fell from his lips as his hand moved faster. He was beyond teasing himself now, needing the harder strokes on his rigid cock. Past merged with present, and he couldn't separate them; he burned with humiliation, with arousal, with desire to give himself to this man, to give all that he was, no matter the cost. "Please, Iason" He gritted his teeth as a wave of arousal crested within him, pushing him higher. "Pretty pet" Iason moved forward, eyes burning hot through the shadows, searing him. "It feels good, doesn't it, Riki? Imagine how good it would feel if you gave it all up to me. Give me your bodygive me your soul. I want all of you, Riki. All, forever." "Ohhgod" He arched again, spreading his thighs without command, offering it to the man seated before him. Desire was coiling hard and tight in his belly, the heat of it like a pool of fire ready to drown him. He ached all the way to his toes with his need to give into the seduction that was surrounding him; the control that was wrapped around him, taking and giving in equal measure. "Iason Takeit, please" He bit his lip on the sob that wanted out, and tightened his hand around his throbbing cock. "Takeme all of me" Iason was there in front of him just as he was ready to spend, hands tight around his biceps as he stroked hard and fast. Riki bit his lip harder, hearing the breathy gasps leak out, feeling the hot drop that signaled he'd bitten through the tender skin again. Iason's tongue lapped at the drop of liquid that welled up, swallowing his cry of completion with a hungry kiss that tasted of his blood and surrender. Iason left the chains on him. Proving a point undoubtedly, but Riki's head was still spinning, his heart pounding in his chest, and he would have missed them if they'd been removed. He wanted them on. Ownership. Body and soul, all of him. The fetters on his soul didn't show like the ones on his body, but they were there. He could feel them; he could taste them. Iason's hands on his skin, in his hair; Iason's tongue in his mouth, tracing his lips. Riki moaned softly when gentle lips moved down his body; when a hungry mouth fastened onto his skin he arched, his entire body sensitive, still-stimulated. A long slender finger rubbed his belly, then stroked across his lips; when he opened for it he tasted himself, bitter and harsh. Stronger than tears, both in flavor and viscosity, but amazingly similar in others. "You know what you are to me," Iason whispered into his ear, licking at the delicate curve there. "Tell me what I am to you. Give me the words, Riki." Another lick, then strong teeth teased at his earlobe, tugging on the tender skin there. He shuddered. "Everything" The word surged out of him, spoken in a hoarse, rough whisper, his gut twisting as it registered that he'd said it out loud. The sound of their breathing and their hearts pounding was loud in the stillness of the room, and Riki shivered, that one word still echoing around him. He licked his lips and tried it again. "Everything, Iason." The sound from Iason's throat, pressed so close to him, was a growl of triumph, and the small hairs on the back of Riki's neck prickled. Iason sank his teeth into Riki's neck, biting hard, pulling a groan of pain, of submission from the other man. "Say it again," he whispered hotly, tongue lapping at the burning, throbbing mark. "Tell me, pet." It was easier to say this time, though tears still stung his eyes. Pain from the bite, or pain from the words? As much as he wanted--needed--to say them, it still hurt deep down inside himself. "You're everything, Iason." If his brain was working correctly, Riki would have said that Iason's hands trembled while pulling him closer. He could feel tremors moving through him, but wasn't sure if they were his, or if Iason's were bleeding through into him. One more hungry, devouring kiss, and his Master was turning him, the chains on his arms and legs jingling and clanging pleasantly, sending shockwaves through him as his arousal and need spiked again. Iason leaned him over the low stool, pushing his thighs wider apart. Riki groaned when heat stroked the crevice between his cheeks; Iason's cockhead was velvety soft, spongy and swollen with the blood engorging it. It pulsed between his thighs like a live thing, pressing gently but insistently against his aching body, looking for a way inside. Something cool brushed over his opening, teasing him into tensing up until Iason's hand settled onto his shoulder, pushing him down further, urging his cheek against the smooth, soft fabric covering the stool. Riki relaxed, taking long, deep breaths as Iason pressed in closer to him, his cock rubbing now, pushing gently at the tight muscle that guarded the entrance to his body so carefully. "Mine." It was a low growl, directly in his ear at the same time the hot, swollen length pushed past the guardian ring and into his body. He spasmed around it, a low groan escaping his lips. Iason pushed in further, his voice murmuring low, nothing intelligible to Riki's ear; just soothing, comforting sounds. There was another push with more force behind it, opening his body further. Riki clutched at the stool's edge, groaning and gasping when Iason bit into his neck, teeth scoring his skin deeply. "Take me, Riki take me inside you " He wound his fingers through Riki's hair, pulling his head back, baring his throat. Riki whimpered, snared in his arousal and need to give in, his need to give himself. "Do it," he whispered roughly. "Take me it's all yours, all that I am." The hard shaft pulsed inside him and Riki shuddered, moving back to meet Iason's thrusts. It was like being stroked by a solid flame from the inside out; the faster Iason moved, the hotter he felt, like he was burning up, going to detonate. It was incredible, the feeling of being surrounded by Iason. Covered by his body on the outside; the long limbs around him, the lean torso pressing against him, holding him down, hot lips sucking and kissing his neck. Inside he was invaded by living heat in a thick, swollen column; each thrust forward sent sensation sparking through him, bubbling his blood until it reminded him of champagne--all that fizz moving in a never-ending cycle. Riki rubbed his belly against the stool, tingling more when the satiny fabric caught at him, pulling against his sensitive skin. He wanted so badly to touch himself, to finish what Iason had started, and was drawing out in a long, teasing session, but he didn't dare. Not yet. Not until Iason touched him, or said to do it, or-- "Touch yourself, pet." The words were hissed, followed by another bite; this one tugged at the tender, stinging skin of his neck, pulling another moan from him. "Touch yourself, come when I come. Slowly, pet. Draw it out." Long fingers threaded through his left hand, then guided him to his cock and wrapped his hand around himself. Iason's handIason's breath Riki shuddered again, trying to assimilate all the erotic input, afraid he was going to short-circuit in the process. "Soon, Iason please" It was almost like he hadn't come yet at all. His cock was throbbing with arousal, the skin on his thighs and belly tingling with all the electricity humming through him. Iason tugged his hair again and Riki leaned back, pressing his head against the other man's shoulder. "Please--" The pace was fast and hard now, shoving him into the stool, stealing all the breath from his body. He and Iason stroked his cock harder, and Riki trembled with the effort to keep his orgasm from overwhelming him as Iason's shaft swelled inside of him. It felt so good to be like this; to have Iason inside him--not just in his body, but deep inside *him* in his soul. It hurt to give it to him, but somehow Riki knew it was safe there, in Iason's keeping. Iason lunged into him, fingers squeezing almost painfully, digging into his cock, his hair. Riki grunted, matching the deep sound of pleasure that rumbled out of Iason's chest, breathless words mixed in. "Rikinow, pet NOW." Iason convulsed behind him and Riki groaned again, feeling the thick organ contracting and swelling several times in rapid succession. He groaned again with his own orgasm, thrusting forward into the hands gripping him, then shoving backward to feel Iason's possession of him. One last thrust send them both sprawling forward, breath coming in fast, harsh pants as they lay together, Iason still on top of Riki, still buried deep inside him. Without conscious thought Riki closed his eyes to drift in the haze that always came after sex, letting the sensations within his body carry him for a while. When he came back to himself he was pressed flat against the stool, one sweaty cheek sticking to the satiny surface, the other being slowly stroked. Iason's fingers fluttered over his skin, teasing lightly, soothing him. Dragging through the damp sheen of sweat and tears covering his skin, smoothing the wetness into him. Returning that part of himself. He wouldn't get the other part back. It wouldn't be offered and he wouldn't ask. He didn't want it back. //This is who I am. Who I'm supposed to be. I don't want to change it back. I couldn't. The price is too steep; I don't think I could pay it again.// He shifted under the weight of Iason's body, not wanting out, just need to redistribute. Warmth eased down his arm, settling him. Iason's hand. "Iason?" "Mmm?" The sound vibrated against his neck, stirring air over some of the bites. Riki winced once when the deepest one stung, then shivered. "I--" Now that the moment was here, and he could say it, he wasn't certain he *could* say it. He wasn't a coward, but there was courage, and then there waswhatever this fell into. "Never mind," he finished softly. Iason shifted off of him, standing with a fluid grace that made Riki envious. He'd been called graceful, but never like this man was. His Master. He startled when Iason tugged on the chains, urging him to his feet, pulling him close. Shivers ran the length of his body when Iason licked over each bite on his neck, whispering in between, "Mine. My pet." The last lick traveled the length of his jaw, ending at his mouth, and Riki opened with a groan, his body trembling. His own whisper met Iason's. "Yours, always."
© September 1999 |