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Hide and Seek by Ranma4926
Warnings: OOC, Iason and Riki break up, Raoul goes batshit, Mimea (remember the one who had the affair with Riki) is mentioned a good deal of times to annoy Raoul, Katze antagonizes said Blondie enough to get him trussed up like a chicken, "Ugh, what the hell does Iason need me for now?" Katze muttered to himself. He stepped out of the elevator and strode down the hallway. Katze wasn't exactly in the mood for being woken up in the middle of the night for some unexplained reason. He'd been having an incredible dream involving whipped cream, cherries, handcuffs, and the most amazing fucking (no pun intended) guy in the world, and for once, he wasn't uke! Of course it was all ruined when the phone rang. Katze noticed someone peeking around the corner and immediately recognized who it was. "Raoul? What're-" "Shh!" "-you-" "Shh!" "-doing-" "Shh!" "-here-" "SHH!" This time Raoul snapped his head around to silence Katze. He poked his head back around the corner and all fell silent. Katze heard some vicious profanity and screaming coming from the room down the hall, but Katze was former furniture and he knew screams. Those were fighting screams, not bondage screams. He crouched under Raoul and looked around the corner as well. "What's going on?" he whispered. "I think Iason and Riki have gotten into another fight." "Another? Wait, what? They've been fighting?" "They've been at this for weeks on end now. I don't get it." "Join the club." Suddenly, the door slammed open and both men quickly flattened themselves against the wall. "UNGRATEFUL SLUT!" they immediately recognized the deep, yet irate voice as Iason's. "This isn't good," Raoul said. "VIRGIN! [1]" Riki retorted. "This really isn't good," Katze said. Riki started to stomp down the hallway and Raoul paled. "Nani? Doushita no?" "Riki's leaving the building." "So?" "These are the only elevators on this floor." "K'so!" The two ran back and forth in a frenzy, trying to find a place to hide. When Riki rounded the corner, the two were nowhere to be found. He hit the button for the elevator and stomped inside. Iason stormed after him, clad in naught, but a very Tira Misu like outfit. Had either Raoul or Katze been in the room (::evil grin::), both would've passed out with nosebleeds. "I DON'T EVER WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE AGAIN!" Iason snapped, "WHORE!" "BLOW ME!" Riki snarled, and hit the lobby button. The doors shut and the elevator descended. Iason turned on his heel, marched into his room, and slammed it shut. When the sound of the door was heard, two trickles of blood fell from the ceiling. Raoul and Katze were holding on to the ceiling grates and their fingers grew weak when they saw Iason. "Phew," Raoul sighed, wiping his brow, "that was close." Suddenly realizing his stupidity in letting one hand go, gravity kicked in and slammed him to the ground. Katze was soon to follow and a SD Guy fell on his head. Said chibi let out a strange sound that sounded like a 'bweee' and held up a sign in the manner of ice skating judging that was marked '9.6'. "Is it me or is this turning into a crossover fic?" Katze mumbled, a little dazed from loss of blood. "It's you." As if cued, a skinny and spiky haired teen went sprinting across the hall, screaming and running away from an older woman in suspenders and a bike hat, toting garrote in both hands. "Scratch that," Raoul said. "Screw that," Katze corrected, "I don't wanna know." "And get off of me!" Raoul snapped, trying to push the redhead off. "Ooo? Whatsa matter? 'Fraid Iason's gonna come over and get the wrong idea?" Raoul blushed profusely and pulling a foot back, kicked Katze a good distance away. Katze landed with a 'SPLAT' against the opposing wall. Raoul got to his feet, took a deep breath, and sighed. "Okay, let's go over our current situation," Katze said, as he peeled himself off the linoleum. "Iason and Riki have been fighting for the past few weeks. Apparently it's about some woman from what I've overheard," Raoul said. "1,000 credits says it's Mimea," Katze said. Raoul visibly twitched as he remembered the God-forsaken pet that had turned against him. Katze grinned wickedly, taking advantage of the Blondie's weakness. "I don't ever want to hear her name again," Raoul snarled, "tonikaku, the two have been fighting over a woman." "It's now apparent that the two have broken up." "Well I wouldn't put it like that." "Then how would you? Seeing other people? Hanging up the phone? Putting the dog to sleep? Turning the TV off? Signing the papers?" "Ano." "Iason just told Riki that he never wanted to see him again. They've broken up." ".they've broken up." "They've broken up." "They've broken up!" "They've broken up." "THEY'VE BROKEN UP!" by this point, Raoul was slightly hysterical from the sudden plot twist and unexpected climax, which resulted in him grabbing Katze by the collar, and shaking him back and forth like they were in a completely different universe (namely Pocket Monsters). Katze got a hold of himself and gave Raoul such a nasty glare it would've made Soun turn green with jealousy. "Hands-off-the-turtleneck-" he snapped. Raoul, realizing another mistake in touching Katze's favorite shirt, immediately let go. Bad idea. Katze landed flat on his ass and it was enough to crack his tailbone. Fortunately, for the fanfic's sake, it didn't. "One would think that you'd be overjoyed now that you have Iason to yourself," Katze said. "One would know that I'm glad the mongrel is out of the house." "That same person would know you want Riki out so you can go tunnel digging with Iason." Raoul turned to him. A giant red '?' was painted over his head. "What?" "You know what I mean." Raoul blushed, "I most certainly would not do anything of the sort! Especially not when you refer to it as that." "Well how would you describe it? Playing for the other team? Gopher burrowing? Traveling by subway? Nudge nudge?" Raoul stared at Katze with a look of utmost horror, disgust, and confusion on his face. "Where do you get these things?" he sputtered. Katze pointed upwards, "her." The scene cut to Ranma who was sitting in her pajamas, writing the story at 1:16 AM while the rest of her family slept. She turned to the reader. "What?" The scene cut back to Katze and Raoul. "Well if you don't want him then we have to try and get them back together," Katze said. "Whoa! Hoooooooooooold on a second," Raoul said, "what makes you think I want to get involved?" "Well Iason's going to go out of his mind with Riki gone. We both know what happens when Riki isn't within a 500 meter radius of Iason." "Don't remind me." FLASHBACK Raoul and Katze walked down the hall to Iason's apartment and stopped at the door. "Can I be honest with you, Katze?" Raoul asked. "Sure." The Blondie turned to the redhead. "I'm scared." "Don't be." "Why? We could say something that could send him out of his mind!" "It's only been two days since Riki left. What can go wrong?" Raoul sweatdropped with one of those looks as Katze lifted his fist to knock on the door. "Famous last words, Katze." The redhead stuck his tongue out at Raoul and knocked. Strangely, when he did, the door swung open. The lights were out inside and the two quietly crept inside. A laptop sat on the desk and the two walked over to see what was on it. A Microsoft Word document was opened and there were two simple words written. "Feelin' fine," the two read in unison. They just stood there for a few seconds before sweatdropping. "We got all worked up over that?" Katze laughed hesitantly. "We've both got a few screws loose." Raoul agreed. "A ha ha ha!" "A ha ha ha!" 'KA-BOOM' "AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" A storm outside had started and lightning flashed so the two could briefly see two statements written several times all over the walls. 'REDRUM' and 'NO RIKI MAKES IASON GO CRAZY' "Raoul?" "Hai?" "I'm scared too." "I can tell." Katze had leapt into Raoul's arms from fright and was clamped onto his head like a monkey wrench. "Hello." "AIPE!" 'PLUNK' Raoul had dropped Katze in fright and both were edging their way towards the door "I.Iason." Raoul stammered. "So what do you think you guys? Thought I'd pass the time by doing a little writing. Though I don't like the title. I was thinking of something like 'No Riki makes Iason something, something'. Katze, having seen the particular Treehouse of Horror this was mocking, kept his mouth shut. Raoul, on the other hand, had not. "Go crazy?" he asked. A freakish smile crossed Iason's face. "DON'T MIND IF I DO! BWA HA HA HA AH A! CHU CHU! BWA HU! BWA HU! BWA HU! VVT! VVT! HUBAA DUBBA DUBA!" "KYAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" the two ran out of the apartment as fast as they could and rocketed down the hallway with Iason on their heels, swinging a gigantic fangirl mallet while screaming random words. END FLASHBACK "Anyway let's go over to my apartment. I've got a plan," Katze said, making his way to the elevator. Raoul, deciding that he really didn't want to go through that again, followed him so they could try and figure out a way to get the two back together. -end- [1] Hey, can you imagine Iason as uke? Author's
notes: Notes at the end! I realized how annoying notes could be when
I downloaded a music video and it took 10 seconds just for the stupid
title to roll. Basically I took the hint that nobody wants to hear you
yammer and just wants to get on to the fic. Heh, gomen minna. Anyway,
I got the title after thinking that the main thing Katze and Raoul were
doing through out the whole thing was hiding and seeking. I hope you
liked it so far! I'll try (emphasize on try) to get the next chapter
up soon.
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