Learning To Love

NOTE: This story takes place shortly after the events in "The Marriage Of Remy LeBeau."

"We have to do something." Jean stated firmly. "She's been locked up in that room of hers for nearly a week now."

Sitting around the table nodding in agreement were Ororo, Scott, Logan, Betsy and Rogue. Nearby Warren leant against the door frame.

"Ever since Gambit brought her back no ones seen her. We have to do something." Jean was interrupted by the sound of Logan's claws extending.

"If that low life Cajun has done anything to her, I swear......." He began ominously.

"Logan stand down. We don't know all the facts." snapped Scott.

Jean sighed.

"Her shields are up tight. Anytime I try to talk to her she cuts me dead. Gambit is the only one she has even said anything to and even that was to just leave her alone. We have to do something...."

Betsy gracefully stood up, gaining everyone's attention. Ever since she had been marked by the crimson dawn her attitude was slightly different. Not knowing what to make of the changes the others were slightly nervous at the "new" person she had become.

"I will go see if she will talk to me." She began in a quiet commanding tone. "We have been friends since childhood, maybe she will listen to me."

Without waiting for an answer Psylocke glided out of the room.

"Well I guess if anyone can reach her its Betsy." Murmured Warren to his self.

Stopping at the entrance to Serina's room Betsy paused and lightly scanned inside. Emeryld's shields were up tight. Raising her hand to knock on the door Betsy was stopped by a voice from within.

"Go away. Leave mae alone."

"Serina MacPherson, I am not going til you have opened this door and spoken to me."

"Then ye are in fer a long wait. Now leave mae alone."

Psylocke sighed and in one fluid motion span on her heel kicking out at the door, splintering it down the centre. Stepping over what was left of the door Betsy entered Serina's room. It was dark inside, with the curtains closed she could barely make out Serina's hunched form in her bed.

"Ye didna have ta do that. It wasnae locked."

Ignoring her Betsy picked her way past the mess frowning, usually Serina was the embodiment of cleanliness. This was not like her at all. She threw open the curtains, turned to look at Serina and stopped dead.

She was sitting up in her bed hugging her knees, slowly rocking back and forth. Her face and arms were a mass of fading yellow bruises, her normally well groomed hair of which she was so proud lay listlessly down her back. Her eyes seemed vacant and unfocused.

"Oh my God Serina. What has happened?"

"Nuthin'" she replied sullenly. "Go away."

Betsy sat down on the edge of the bed, trying to control the anger that had welled up inside of her at the sight of her friend.

"This is not nothing. If you don't tell me then I will go ask Remy......" She broke off her eyes widening. "Oh my.....Remy! Did he do this to you? I'll kill him...."

Serina's head shot up and the first signs of life appeared on her face.

"Nae it wasnae Remy.....it wasnae Remy's fault.......it......" She trailed off.

Betsy moved closer to Serina and reached out to touch her. Serina flinched back violently and screamed.

"DUENNA TOUCH MAE."

Involuntarily Serina triggered off her ability to teleport and in her panic unwittingly took Betsy along with her.

Betsy came round first. Next to her lay Serina, curled up into herself. The strain of teleporting two people had knocked her out cold. Another indication that she was definitely not herself. Normally it would take a few more jumps to tire her. Getting to her feet Betsy looked around trying to find something to orientate herself on. It appeared that Serina had taken them both to the outskirts of the Xavier Institute. Turning her attention to Serina, Betsy examined her carefully. Her whole body seemed bruised. Tentatively Psylocke reached out with her mind, while she was unconscious there was a good chance she could get past the weakened barriers. Psylocke reeled back as Emeryld's barriers came slamming down. With blurring speed Emeryld leapt at Psylocke and pinned her down.

"Serina its me, Betsy." She cried out seeing madness in her eyes. There was no telling what she might do.

Sanity came back to Serina and she fell back.

"Why couldn't ye all leave mae alone?"

She began to cry softly, tears streaming down her face. Betsy very carefully sat next to her.

"Now I am going to put my arm round you, this time don't try to teleport again, you're not up to it."

Slowly putting her arm around Serina and pulling her close Betsy gave a mental sigh of relief when she didn't try to 'port away again. A dam inside of Emeryld seemed to break and she leant herself into Betsy's embrace sobbing. For what seemed like hours Betsy sat there holding Serina while she let out all the hurt and pain.

When the crying had calmed down Betsy pulled Serina's face upwards and looked at her tear streaked face.

"Serina.......what on earth happened?" she asked gently.

"I....I.....oh Betsy. It was Sinister. He made mae......... He forced mae....."

Betsy raised a finger to Serina's lips cutting her off. Inside her feelings were raging at the sudden realisation of what her friend had been made to suffer.

Emeryld stood up slowly, her dead eyes stared off unfocused into the distance. With her back to Betsy she leant against a nearby tree, her arms folded.

"It's nae good, Betsy. I'm nae good." Her normal rich vibrant voice was a mere shell.

"I cannae go on wit any of this......" Emeryld suddenly sagged downwards.

Her heart in her throat Betsy leapt to the side of her friend only to find several deep gashes up her arm.

"Oh my God, what have you done Serina?"

Betsy snatched Serina's hands away from her arm where she had been holding open the cuts in order to stop her healing factor from working.

"Its tae late Betsy. Let mae go." Emeryld's eyes rolled backwards and Betsy was left looking into her friends pale lifeless face.

"Noooo." She screamed. "I wont let you do this." Betsy scooped up Serina's limp body, the lack of weight shocking her into running faster.

<NO!!!!!!!HANK!!!!!> Almost incoherently her mind screamed out as she half ran half stumbled through the trees back to the mansion.

< Elizabeth?!> came back the slightly surprised answer<What's wrong?>

The reassuring tones of Beast sounded in her mind. <Calm down>

<Serina...her.. she> she sobbed <I can't keep her awake! She cut her wrists!>

His mental tone became serious and alert.<I'll meet you atthe door>

Gasping for breath Psylocke reached the mansion. Beast waiting at the door took one look at her, bounced over and gently took Serina from her arms. Without waiting to see if she followed, Hank hurried down to the lab carrying a fast fading Serina.

Hank bustled around the bed. Beeping monitors next to it was the only sound. Standing next to the bed Betsy looked down at Serina. Tears pricked at Betsy's eyes. Her closest friend, the one she called sister was laying there, although the cuts in her arms had healed it was as if she had given up the will to live. A cold knot of anger formed in Betsy's stomach. Leaning down over the bed she gently brushed her lips against Serina's.

"Don't you die on me. You hear me? I won't let you." Betsy clasped her fists tight in sudden anger. "Damn that Cajun, why didn't he do something?"

Spinning on her heel Psylocke abruptly turned and then with no warning vanished into the shadows.

"Betsy." began Hank as he turned around. "How exactly did this.....Betsy?"

Remy LeBeau tossed a playing card at the Sentinel.

"You want t' play wit' de gambit? You just got de killer hand."

Psylocke watched from outside the danger room. Inside LeBeau was having a workout. She smiled grimly and hit the over ride button. Inside the lights went out.

"Hey whats goin' on? Who's messing wit' de program?"

Gambit peered round the room, barely able to see anything in the dim light. He tensed, a sixth sense told him in was in danger. He spun round lashing out with his bo staff.

"You missed."

"Betsy? Dat you?" he sighed with relief. "For a minute there Gambit thought....."

He didn't get a chance to finish his sentence. A well placed fist struck him square on the jaw. He reeled backwards.

"Betsy....what did you do that for chere?" he gasped holding his chin.

Her quiet rage filled voice echoed around the room.

"Serina is in the medilab right now, dieing, and its your fault."

Gambits face drained.

"She is hurt? Non. What happened?"

Psylocke's voice came again, this time from the opposite side of the room. Gambit spun to face the sound of her voice.

"She tried to kill herself Cajun. Kill herself. And you know why? I'll tell you why....... For what Sinister did to her. You was there Remy. You could have stopped it. But now its too late."

At these words Gambits face flooded with guilt. It was all Psylocke needed to see.

The blows came without warning, raining down on him. Each one precisely aimed to do the most damage. Psylocke weaved a deadly dance around him. Gambit made no move to defend his-self. He stood there, his body armour absorbing most of the blows but it wasn't enough. The guilt flooded in his mind. All he could see was Serina in the cell, bruised and battered, asking him 'why'?. He fell to his knees, his body cut and bruised from Betsy's onslaught. Groaning with the shame of what he had done he didn't even feel it when Betsy paused.

Grabbing his hair and yanking his head back Psylocke summoned the full sum of her powers and her psychic knife manifested itself inches from Remy's eyes.

"Any last words Cajun?" she hissed.

Numb from the news and frozen by his own guilt he did not reply.

"Then suffer, as did Serina."

Her knife plunged downwards.

"Stop." The voice was a whisper but it stopped Psylocke's thrust dead. "Betsy no."

Almost crying with the strain of trying to break the unseen grip on her hand Betsy looked up to see Serina leaning heavily against the danger rooms doorway. She broke off her thrust and stepped back.

"Serina? You're ok?" her voice was thick with relief.

Gambit looked up.

"Chere, your alive." Pulling his-self upright he tried to make his way over to her, ignoring his injuries. Implacably Betsy placed herself between him and the doorway.

"Don't you even think of going near her LeBeau." she warned.

Serina motioned her quiet with a gesture.

"I cannae let ye hurt him any more Betsy."

"But he......he could have done something to stop Sinister. There is always something. He let you get hurt Serina."

"Nae, it wasnae his fault. There wasnae anyt'ing he could have done. I....." she swayed slightly on her feet.

Gambit started forward to catch her.

"No matter what you think of me right now chere, Serina needs attention. Non."

Giving Remy a killing look Betsy lifted up Serina's frail body to return her to the medilab.

"This aint over Cajun." Betsy left Remy standing in the darkened room her threat ringing in his ears.

Days later Hank gave Serina the all clear to leave the medilab. As she left he motioned Betsy to one side.

"I don't know what is going on, neither of you seem willingly to talk about this but I am warning you now - her physical health is fine, its her mental state I am worried about. She's hardly said a word while here. Keep an eye on her."

Nodding abruptly Betsy followed Serina's path, knocking into Warren as she left.

"Betsy, wha...."

Ignoring him Psylocke strode after Emeryld leaving Warren feeling rather put out.

"I guess thats a no to the dinner invite then......." he murmured to his-self. "Just what is it with those lot. Remy's been avoiding Betsy like the plague, if I didn't know any better...." muttering to his-self he carried on down the corridor.

Betsy caught up with Emeryld in the garden. Serina was sitting on the garden swing, her cat like eyes glittering in the sun. Betsy sat down on the grass in front of her.

For nearly 20 minutes Serina sat there silent.

"Ye have got tae stop what ye are doing tae Remy. There wasnae anyt'ing he could have done tae stop Sinister." She began breaking the silence.

"You don't get it do you Serina? After all whats happened you're still defending him? What about you? Your feelings?"

Emeryld reacted violently.

"What about mae feelings? I duen't have none any more. I duen't matter."

She stood up and raised her arms out in front of herself.

"Look at mae........I duen't matter."

"Stop that." snapped Betsy "I won't let you think like that."

Gazing at Betsy with a disconcerting frankness Serina laughed.

"And how will ye stop mae?"

Psylocke slapped her hard across the cheek. Shocked Serina raised her hand to her face where the imprint of Betsy's hand was already fading.

"Don't you dare think like that Serina. Look around you. You are surrounded by those who love you, those who care." Betsy balled her fists and turned away, tears filled her voice. "I know something bad happened to you. Why can't you realise that we are you friends? Why won't you trust us and open up to us? We only want to help you. We love you."

Emeryld's eyes turned cold.

"An how are ye all supposed tae love mae when I cannae even love maeself?"

Betsy turned back round to face Serina.

"Look at mae. Dirty, used, I am nae worth anyt'ing, so how can ye say ye love mae?"

Reaching out Betsy took hold of Serina's hands, gently holding them.

"You are worth more to us, to me than you will ever know." Betsy brushed the a loose lock of hair away from Serina's face. "As for loving yourself, what is there not to love?"

A solitary tear ran down Emeryld's face. She brushed it away violently.

"What happened to you should never have to happen to anyone, but it did. You just can't blame yourself for it. You can't live your life thinking it was your fault, that you brought it on your self. You are worth more than that."

Serina turned her head away trying to hide the tears falling down her cheeks. Betsy placed her hand under her chin and gently lifted up Serina's face. Defiantly Serina gazed straight into Betsy's eyes.

"It hurts so much Betsy. Inside. I just cannae be strong nae more." She seemed to crumple inwards on herself. "I just want the hurt tae stop and tae feel the love again."

Every word Emeryld uttered cut into Betsy's soul. The anguish, pain and longing were clearly visible on Serina's face.

Without thinking Betsy reached over and embraced Serina. Serina froze, and then broke away.

"See, I cannae even bear anyone ta touch mae. How am I tae carry on?"

Stunned momentarily at Serina's outburst, Betsy paused. A thoughtful look came over her face and briefly the mark over her eye flared with an inner light.

"Do you trust me Serina? Do you trust me not to hurt you?"

Emeryld turned to face her, eyes red with crying burned with an intensity.

"Ye know I would trust ye wit mae life if need be."

"Then trust me now." Betsy gestured to the garden swing. "Sit." she commanded.

Numbly Serina sat down on the chair.

"Now, trust me." Betsy walked behind her. "I am going to place my hands on your shoulders."

Although warned Emeryld still flinched slightly at the contact of Betsy's hands upon her.

"I want you to try and relax." With those words Betsy began to gently massage Serina's shoulders. Feeling her muscles tense Betsy frowned.

"Close your eyes, trust me. I am not going to hurt you."

Sighing inwardly Serina closed her eyes and mentally forced herself to relax. The soothing strokes down her shoulders combined with the soft spoken words of Betsy began to work and she felt some of the tension flow from her body. Carried on the wave of reassurance mentally projected by Psylocke Serina felt herself begin to drift.

The vivid memories she had been replaying over and over in her mind began to fade slightly. Almost absently she noticed that Betsy had taken advantage of her relaxing to bypass her shields so as to help her deal with the pain. She felt Betsy pouring comfort and love over the raw, painful memories and she allowed herself a small smile at her friends efforts to help. It seemed almost natural when Betsy's hands slipped down lower, gently rubbing her healing touch over her. Serina allowed the projections of Betsy's love for her to fill her soul, blocking out some of her pain.

With a slight start Serina felt Betsy's hand cup her breast.

<> she began mentally.

<> came back the whispered reply.

Pausing, Serina came to a decision.

<>

Serina felt Betsy's hand gently trace the curve of her breast. A part of her mind clinically noted that maybe this wasn't a good idea but she ignored it, instead concentrating on the overwhelming sense of love emanating from her friend, and on the half formed words being whispered in her ear. Emeryld tensed as she felt Betsy's lips brush against her neck and down her jawline.

Betsy felt the muscles in Serina's body tense up at her kiss.

<>

Intensifying her psi projection of love Betsy felt Serina relax again. Careful not to startle, Betsy moved round the chair so she was in front of Serina. Although her eyes were closed Emeryld sensed the movement. She opened her eyes and looked deep into Betsy's eyes seeing only love and concern there. Betsy raised her hand and traced down the contours of Serina's body. Serina gasped as she did so, feeling a blazing trail where her hands had been. With her other hand Betsy raised Serina's face and slowly leant in towards her. Cautiously Betsy kissed Serina.

Surprised at Betsy's sudden kiss Serina didn't respond at first. Then already swamped by the intense emotions Betsy was giving out Serina responded. Dreamlike she let herself drown in the feelings.

Betsy watched her friends reactions carefully as she poured out her love into Serina's abused soul. The pain in her heart at the anguish she had seen in Emerylds face earlier, demanded that she help. And the only way she could think of was to show Serina that she was loved, that love did not have to hurt and mostly that she was worth something.

Deep inside her mind, Serina felt something fall into place. A feeling of forgiveness? A feeling of belonging...of loving? Serina pulled her mind back from Betsy's gently, breaking free from the connection Betsy had formed with her. It was as though she had been swimming down deep and had broke to the surface for air.

She lifted up her hand and placed it under Betsy's chin lifting her face up so she could look at her. Betsy raised her face and found herself looking straight into the golden glowing eyes of her friend. Serina was smiling, the first smile Betsy had seen in a long while.

"Serina?" began Betsy.

Serina raised her fingers to Betsy's lips and cut her off.

"Sssshhhh.......duen't say anyt'ing. What ye were willing tae do fer mae is enough."

Emeryld stood up.

"It caen't take away all the pain. Nuthin' could ever do that, but Betsy - what ye were willing tae do fer mae.....it was more than anyone has ever done fer mae. An I love ye fer it."

Serina linked her arm with a smiling Betsy.

"You know that you're not alone with this don't you Serina. Turn to me, to us, don't shut us out. We love you."

Linked arm in arm they walked slowly down the path towards the house.

"It's going to take time but we can get through this together Serina."

Holding onto the feelings still fresh in her mind of the overwhelming, complete love Betsy had given to her Serina braced herself inwardly.

"I caenna put it off nae longer, I s'pose its time I faced the others." Suddenly stricken she stopped and faced Betsy. "What d' I say tae them?"

Betsy smiled.

"I'm sure you will think of something. If anyone gets to nosey tell them it was PMT. That ought to make most of them back off."

Emeryld laughed, a clear infectious full throated laugh. Joining in Betsy and Serina carried on to the house.

Standing near the window Jean was the first to see Betsy lead Serina back. By the way they were laughing she mused to herself whatever had been bothering Serina looked like it had been dealt with. Jean turned back to the room only to be hit straight in the face by a snowball.

"Take that Hank." came Bobby's voice. It trailed off as he realised that Beast had ducked and that Jean was standing there with snow dripping from her hair.

"Ooops...."

"Bobby Drake......you little......"

Outside Serina turned her attention to the house where muffled shouts could be heard.<BR>

"Jean I'm sorry....I swear....OUCH.....It was meant for Hank......No not the poker...PLEASE!!!!!!........HEELLPPPPP........."

"And life goes on." she whispered to herself, a faint grin on her face as she 'watched' a disgruntled Jean deal with a rather scared Bobby.

Nikki