Upcoming Match	Other People Used	People Mentioned	Titles Held	Record
Primetime vs Raptor	The wWo, Good ol’ grandpa, nurse, Mr. Teeny	Primetime	Extreme Title (1)	5-1-0

Our scene opens outside a Nursing Home. Many old people are walking round the gardens, in walking frames and with walking sticks. One looks at the camera, and her eyes glow red as she whispers, “I am the sniper!!!” and walks off. Soon, a limo pulls up and out hop the wWo. Each member of the wWo is holding a present, brightly wrapped with big bows on them. Then, out of the car jumps a monkey!

Raptor: No Mr. Teeny! No! Bad Monkey! I told you to stay home!

Mr. Teeny: Ooh ooh ahh grr ahh oof.

Hobo: He just said “fuck off, you extinct bastard”

Raptor: Thanks, Hobo, I think I know what he said… I did the Monkeytalk 101 class with you, remember?

Mr. Teeny: Orr ahh gee ooh faa!

Hobo: Ok smarty pants, what did he just say?

Raptor: I like your purple pants???? *all of the wWo giggle*

Hobo: No, he said “Doesn’t matter if you took any dumb class, you’re still a fucking retard!”

Raptor: *Aghast* Mr. Teeny! How could you?!

Mr. Teeny: Oaaa Grr Ahh Oooh maa…

Mr. Teeny and Hobo both crack up laughing as Raptor and the rest of the wWo look on confused. Soon the monkey and Hobo high five each other and walk off.

Raptor: What’s up with those two? Usually they’re the friendliest guys on earth!

Wasabi: Oh they’re just excited and a little nervous about the big plan…

Rachel: Still doesn’t give them an excuse to tease you… I’m going to give them a piece of my mind…

She walks off steaming in the direction Hobo and Mr. Teeny went in…

Wasabi: Oh well, I suppose we should go visit him.

Edge: Dude, do we have to?

Christian: Yeah, he keeps saying I have a small penis!

Edge: Dude, you do have a small penis!

Christian: Shut up!!! At least I’m bigger than Mr. Teeny…

Edge: Aww come on Christian, everyone is bigger than him… Why do you think he’s called Mr. Teeny?

They walk into the building, and an old grandma mugs Christian and steals his handbag. They get inside, and walk up to the front desk

Christian: Oh man! That had my purse in it and everything! That bag held my life…

He holds back the tears, but soon breaks down and runs off to the toilets to clean up his makeup. Wasabi talks to the remainders of the wWo, Raptor and Edge

Wasabi: OK… Ok… I see there is a bit of friction here. Everyone is getting upset… But it’s all right. You know this plan will go down great, and it’s going to put the wWo on the map!

Raptor: Damn Straight!

Suddenly a voice yells “get in there now you two!” and in walk Hobo and Mr. Teeny. They have their heads hung low in shame, big guilty puppy dog eyes, and they whimper as Rachel forces them in. She has also made them wear big pink bows around their heads, and Mr. Teeny is holding a banana.

Rachel: Aren’t they gorgeous? I took some photos, just for future blackmailing. But anyway, say it, right now you two…

Hobo and Mr. Teeny: *as if they had recited it a thousand times* We’re sorry Raptor, we didn’t mean to hurt your feelings…

Raptor: Wait a sec… When did Mr. Teeny learn to speak English?

Mr. Teeny: *He puts on a monocle, pulls out a tobacco pipe and lights it, and says in a pompous British accent:* Oh you humans are so relumptickle. I cannot believe your pomstrosity and vulgarity! It’s deploreable and bedoreable! I cannot take it any more!

He runs away humming “Mozart’s fifth symphony in C major” to himself, but stops on the way to fight a senior citizen for a banana, American gladiators style.

Wasabi: Okay, we’ve really got to visit him now…

He rings the bell on the front desk of the old folks home

+ Nurse Screwyourpatients +: *seductively* Hi there big boys… Do you want a sponge bath?

Wasabi: No, we’re here to see HIM…

+ Nurse Screwyourpatients +: *aghast and scared* Oh sweet Jesus! Yes sir… I’ll just get the keys to his cell… Come this way to the elevator..

They walk for a bit. As they do, we hear what each wWo member is thinking.

What raptor is thinking: Do my purple pants really look that gay?

What Wasabi is thinking: Hey… Check out her ass! Woah… I’d love to get in her pants…

What Rachel is thinking: If he stares at her ass one more time I’m going to hit him over the head with a used bedpan.

What Christian is Thinking: I’m NOT THAT SMALL… I’M not! I’m huge! Gigantuan! Mass-

His thoughts are interrupted by Wasabi being hit over the head with a bedpan full of senior citizen’s urine. He Falls to the ground, and the others jump in the locked secure elevator and go up to the captivity floor. They walk in the room, and a figure is seen, staring out the window. He starts talking solemnly in a deep voice…

Figure: I thought you were coming… I’ve been waiting a long time… *evil laugh, and he starts talking really fast as he turns around again. He drops the deep voice crap, and uses his old decrepit attention seeking voice again, inserting some fake coughs for effect* You stupid bastard Brontosaurus! Where the hell have you been, I haven’t seen you since your “hobo tough enough” promos… Stupid tyrannosaurus.

Raptor: Come on grandpa… Look, I’m really sorry grandpa, but we bought you some presents, look!

He opens the presents to find some toe-nail clippings, one of Mr. Teeny’s furballs, a pile of used golf balls and a card saying “Happy 10^th Birthday, Bodger!”

Good ol’ Grandpa: You bastards!!! *he throws the presents out the window* Those are the presents I gave you fore your 10^th birthday Clatimasaurus! You little chode! And look at your gay purple pants… Jeesus, anybody could think you’re Chris Jericho!

Raptor: Stop it Grandpa! Leave me alone! I just came for some advice! Okay?!

Good ol’ Grandpa: Yeah what bodgersaurus?

Raptor: What should I do when I wrestle an old person? Like, really old… Someone that’s way past their prime?

Good ol’ Grandpa: Okay, A: Go for the joints- Arthritis, you know? B: Go for the hair- you get very protective of what little you’ve still got. And if all else fails, go for the bladder- if someone pisses their pants, their gonna get a little distracted from the fight, to say the least!

Raptor: Yeah, I know how to hurt them, but I wanna know how to get to them mentally!

Good ol’ Grandpa: I’m not going to tell you… I will if you get me some mustard though!

Rachel: Sorry, we can’t- Not enough time…

Good ol’ Grandpa: GET ME SOME MUSTARD OR I’LL HIT YOU WITH MY BOMMIE KNOCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They all run, really creeped out by Good ol’ Grandpa swinging around a bommie knocker. They meet Wasabi in the hallway, signing autographs to senior citizens, with an oversized novelty pencil- you know the ones, with the big erasers on the end? Well, anyway, and Mr. Teeny is sitting on his shoulder, licking the pubic lice out of is hair.

Raptor: Well, not so dignified now, are we you stupid monkey!

Mr. Teeny: Oh, be quiet you! I think I dropped my monocle in Wasabi’s hair and I can’t find it!

Wasabi: … Sure… Yeah, sure I’ll come visit you again… Thanks, love you too! Aww, that was great, wasn’t it?

Edge: Yeah, well, no.

Wasabi: Owww. You spoil sport! Why, I had a great time!

Christian: Yeah well you didn’t have to deal with good ol’ Grandpa swinging a bommie knocker around, did you?

Wasabi: *aghast* Oh no! Oh NO! He didn’t pull the bommie knocker out did he? Oh my god… Look out!

They turn around to see the elevator sign saying “down” Out walks Grandpa, swinging his Bommie Knocker everywhere. Wasabi looks around, terrified, and sees the sign… The one thing that could save his life… He sees it- A switch on the wall, covered by glass, that says “In case of Bommie Knocker, break Glass” He looks, and smashes the nearest window. Rachel then tells him to smash the glass and push the switch, and he does so, to reveal a big jar of mustard.

Wasabi: Here’s your mustard!

Good ol’ Grandpa: That’s not mustard!!!

So he hit Wasabi with his bommie knocker. The wWo run away scared, realizing that most of this promo has had nothing to do with Primetime. They chat in the limo on the way home…

Wasabi: Okay, so this week we have two things. Raptor has the most important match right? So, all we really need to focus on is helping him win the Match. Of course, we have to get the big plan ready too, but Raptor is important too. So any Promo suggestions?

Edge: Well, I was thinking song and dance style musical number…

He stands up and grabs a top hat and tap dancing shoes, and begins to sing, accompanied by Mr. Teeny on a Toy Honky Tonk Piano…

When I was a boy, I saw a man, who was wrestling, at the time…

And now these days, he still wrestles, and he is old and lame…

He’s past his prime, and you will find, that his fitness is sub-par…

His hair falls out, his bladder control fails, and out comes rushing, bodily fluids…

He takes his pills, he rings his great grandson, and this, he says, to him…

He breaks down into a Rap

Hey little fella how you doing today, I just realized that I might be gay

I really love my job and I just can’t quit but all the people think I am a huge dick

What should I do, where can I go, I have a really really crap win loss ratio,

I really suck, and my pay is low, so tell me, where can I go?

Wasabi: That’s nice edge, but really ridiculous, plus, it’s Raptor’s promo, not yours…

Rachel: He could make a mini documentary on him…

And here, we see the Primtimeeus McOldieus. He has several failing bodily vitals, and false teeth. His bowel control is weakening, and that’s why he constantly has the urge to rush to the toilet and let it all splatter…

Raptor: Ahhh Gross! How about this… I cut a promo, ok?

Wasabi: Fine, sounds good to me. Then we’ll organize this big plan for shockwave.

Raptor: Sounds good- Lets go back to Hobos place. By the way… Where is Hobo?

The scene cuts to Hobo break-dancing to Rollin with the senior citizens in the Bingo Hall, then cuts back to the limo.

Wasabi: Who knows, I’m sure he’ll find his own way home.

Eventually they reach home. Everyone goes off in their separate directions, and Raptor goes to Hobo’s Promoing room, looks to the camera, and starts rambling on, at the end of a promo, just like always...

Raptor: Okay Primetime… I’ll give you credit. You surprised me. In a big way. I wasn’t expecting you to show your face last week, so I did a crap job. Big deal. But what really bites me is that you ended my Winning streak, in the stupidest way humanly possible. It gets on my nerves, I think of it everyday. For almost 4 months now, I’ve been undefeated, and it ends to a guy that has been slacking off for the last 6 months! And I don’t care for your excuses… You had family emergency, your cat died, you had an enema, I don’t care. The point is, you were gone. Period. And now your back, challenging me for my extreme title. Well, I say you’ve got a lotta balls, coming back, and calling me a jobber before you had even taken the time to study by past. If there’s one thing I make sure to do Primetime, it’s study my opponent. I get to know them, and the way they think. I get inside their head and see what the hell is going on in that twisted little crevice people call a brain cavity. It helps- You can predict what and when your opponent is about to do something, you can scout it and stop it from happening. It can mean the difference between winning, and losing. And admittedly, I went slack with you last week. I thought I had an easy win on my hands, and you proved me wrong.

But that was last week…

I’ve been watching tapes of you Primetime. Your matches with Blindside and Jarred, to back when you were nothing but a Rookie. Does that seem a little stalkerish? Yeah… Hell yeah, it does. Does it seem obsessive? Damn straight it does… But hell, wrestling is my life. I revolve around wrestling… Why just when I was a little kid, my first words were “Whatcha gonna do, brother?”. I was hulking up by the age of 3. And I was pile-driving my goldfish by age 5. I’ve broken a few necks in my day, let me tell you that, son. But the greatest thing about me, is that I learn. I don’t make the same mistakes twice! Ain’t it great? And trust me, I’m not making the same mistake twice. Last week, I underestimated you, This week, I’m bringing everything I’ve got to the plate. And it’s going to be a feast for me when it’s all said and done. Because, eventually, I’ll win! There’s no denying it… It’s just a simple fact. It’s what I do… Winning, and Raptor- The two words go hand in hand. And yeah, I tease you about being old and false teeth and all that, I have a bit of fun. But I know just as well as you that you are still a threat… And one that I need to take seriously. You’re putting everything I worked for in jeopardy…

Geez, that’s credit to you, buddy… There’s not many people I take seriously.

And when it comes down to it, I’ll feel proud to put my title on the line against you. I’ve seen you, up there at the top of the mountain, holding that world championship… So to know that someone like you is willing to step in the ring with someone like me makes me feel good. But at the end of the day, it will still be a fight. There will have to be a loser and a winner. So… Bring what you’ve got. I wanna see your cards, I’ve shown you my hand all-ready. Can you handle the game?

All bets are off Primetime, this one is the all or nothing game.